Resplendent (28 page)

A ray of sunlight peeked through the curtain and reflected on a bottle of Jose Cuervo that sat on my dining table. Eddy had brought it for me when I told him the news of having a boy and although it was now empty, I hadn’t thrown it away. My lips felt dry as I ran my tongue along the bottom. I glanced down at my phone — it was 8:23 AM. I unlocked my screen and started looking through my applications. She’d be here at any moment. Tony and I had sat down last night to discuss what he’d found, and I now had an envelope with pictures and an address. Finally. I was going to head straight to Peach in West Palm Beach as soon as Carmin arrived. But first, she and I had several things to straighten out before I left Miami.

My stomach was in knots and I began to bounce my knees. My phone now read 8:24. A whole fucking minute. Jesus, this was going to be a long morning. I opened the envelope again and double checked everything that was inside. I had placed what I needed in order; first the two pictures and then the paperwork with her address. I knew what I was going to tell Carmin, but I was unsure of her reaction. My palms felt warm as I rubbed them on my pants leg. I heard the doorbell and jumped out of my seat. When I opened the front door, Carmin stood with a bag in her hand. She smiled and pulled the sunglasses away from her face, resting them on the top of her head. My eyes instinctively flew to her stomach, she looked bigger than the last time I saw her. Queasiness shifted in my belly. I had barely slept all night, tossing and turning, and with a million ideas running through my head. This had to work.

“Good morning, sunshine,” she stated cheerfully, as if my life was not screaming for help right now.

I nodded in response and stepped back so she could walk inside before I closed the door. I let out a breath of air and walked back to the dining table.

“Come,” I said and jerked my head to the chair.

She wobbled over and took a seat, placing the bag on the table.

“Look what I got for baby Julio,” she said, while digging into the bag and began pulling out outfits. The kid already had more clothes than I did. As she pulled out piece by piece, my eyes glazed over.
How often would I see him? Would I ever get to see all the new outfits he had? How quickly do babies grow?
My sister had mentioned they could get chubby and sometimes skip sizes.
What if she doesn’t let me see him regularly?
I took in a sharp breath and gripped the back of the chair.

“You okay?” She tilted her head and stopped fussing over the clothes, bringing them down on her lap.

I reached over and grabbed the clothes so I could place them back in the bag. It was time to get down to business.

“We need to talk,” I said and took the seat in front of her. She glanced at me warily but stayed quiet. As fucking pissed off as I was, I needed to keep calm, cool and collected.

I leaned forward and rested my arms on my legs, running my hands through my hair. This was going to be a true test of my ability to remain well tempered.

“I’m just going to cut to the chase,” I said and reached for the envelope.

Carmin eyed it and frowned. “Okay,” she prompted.

I reached my hand inside but held it there. Before I showed her anything, I figured I should explain a little bit. “I hired a P.I. to track down Savannah.” Carmin looked between me and the envelope in my hands. Her face was drawn in a straight line.

“Anyway, he found her and I’m going to see her today.” I pulled out the first picture and placed it out on the table for her to see. Her face paled and I wondered if my suspicion was right.

“I told him you might speak with her, so he had someone follow you and Lola.”

Carmin shook her head, but her entire body was rigid. I slid the picture closer to her, not moving my eyes away from her face.

“He took this last weekend at a restaurant in Doral. Since when do you meet up with Adam?” I asked.

She reached over to snatch the picture. “So what? What does that have to do with Savannah?” Her tone was cold.

I reached over and pointed at the picture with my index finger. “Nothing,” I said gently and placed my elbow on the table. “But, I didn’t even know he was in town. Why didn’t you tell me so I could join you?” I watched her as I ran my fingers over my mouth. She didn’t answer me so I continued, “You looked good wearing that maternity suit I’ve never seen you wear. You don’t need suits for your job … also,” I leaned back on my chair, “you look happy.”

I took the picture from her hands and noticed they were shaking. Not the reaction I expected, but I guess it was better than nothing. She crossed her arms in front of her and rested them on her stomach. “So what?” Her chin jutted out. “I know you’re not jealous.”

I nodded once. “I’m not.” She was right about that. I looked down at the picture of the two of them and didn’t feel an ounce of jealousy. “Carmin, I know you’ve had a thing for Adam for years and you probably think that being pregnant he won’t notice you, but Adam is a pretty nice guy and if -”

Carmin snorted. “What? You think he’ll sweep me off my feet and we’ll live happily ever after?” Her eyes began to get misty and she turned her head to avoid eye contact.

I placed the picture on the table and grabbed the envelope again. “Bottom line, you have feelings for him and I wanted to tell you that that’s okay.”

She looked at me then, her eyes shining.

“I love Savannah, Carmin.” I put the picture away and thought about pulling out Savannah’s picture that Tony had found. Something in me told me not to show her. I didn’t want Carmin to see her.
Why should she? She hasn’t helped me find her all this time
. I kept it safe inside the envelope and glanced at Carmin again. Her lips were tight, and her knee was bouncing. This was going to be the hardest part. She wasn’t going to like what I had to say next.

“When the baby is born, I want a paternity test.” I leaned back in my chair.

“What!” Carmin’s eyes bugged out.
And so it begins.

“If I don’t remember that night, I’m going to want proof I slept with you.” The worst she could do right now was slap me. I was almost prepared for it.

She stood up and started pacing. “You’re such a fucking asshole, Andres!” Her arms were flying around. “You think I’m going to get tested and embarrass myself? I
know
who the father is.” She ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes.

“Well,
I’m
not sure about that.”

“You think I’m going to look like a fool just because you want to go back to your special
Peach
?” she sneered. “That fucking cunt -”

I got up from my chair before she could finish and pressed myself up against her. “You better be
real
careful how you talk about her, Carmin.” I seethed and stared her down. “If and
only if
— this baby is mine, you’re going to want me on your side.”

Carmin avoided eye contact and walked around me, sitting back down on the chair. “It’s always going to be her, isn’t it?” she said, her shoulders hunched over.

I nodded my head firmly. “Always has been, always will be,” I confirmed.

Carmin’s eyes instantly watered and she rubbed her hands on her stomach. “I thought being pregnant might change things, if I had a family of my own.” Her lip trembled and she wiped at a tear that had escaped.

I walked over to her and sat down. When I looked at her stomach, I placed my hand above hers. I was willing to do whatever I needed to help raise my son. But I would never feel for Carmin the way she wanted me to. “
He’ll
always be a part of your family and I’ll help out in any way I can. I was thinking I can see him more than every other weekend. I
want
to see him more than that! I can help you after I get off work and maybe have some weekdays where he can sleep over. He’ll have his own -”

“That’s not going to happen, Andres.” She wiped more tears with her arm and removed my hand. I swallowed hard.

“We can make it work. It doesn’t have to be that difficult.”

She kept shaking her head. “Yes, it will be.”

“I’ll pay you weekly, I can help take him to school, It’ll be -”

She held up her hands and covered her face. “Just stop! Stop talking!”

I pinched the skin of my throat in an attempt to bring down the lump that had formed. This had been one of my fears last night. And here it was playing out in front of me. We’d set up a schedule for visitation. I had hoped we could avoid court or lawyers, but I wasn’t sure how this worked exactly. She couldn’t just decide what she thought was -

“He’s not yours,” she said it so softly and quickly that if it wasn’t for the fact that she was just inches away from my face, I’d miss the whole thing.

What the fuck did she just say?
I leaned back into my chair.

“He’s
what
?” I asked out loud. My hand fisted on the table so tightly, Peach’s picture was now a curled up mess. I tilted my head and waited. I wanted to be sure I’d heard what I’d heard.

“He’s Adam’s,” she whispered. She shook her head, her eyes now bloodshot. My neck was on fire and the fire was spreading to my face.

“
What did you say
?” I repeated through clenched teeth. I didn’t dare breathe.

“I said
he’s not yours
,” she whispered without looking at me. That’s what I thought.

Adam was the father. I was
not
. Peach was gone. I was
here
. Carmin had lied. I was not the father. Adam was the father. My mind was running in circles and adrenaline coursed through my veins; I wanted to break everything in this house.

I grabbed the closest thing to me I could break — the glass bottle — and swung it across the room. Carmin flinched when it splattered against the wall and fell into tiny pieces. I knew exactly how that felt. I had been thrown somewhere I didn’t want to be, and the life I knew had fallen apart.

My hands gripped the armrest on either side of her. “Do you have ANY FUCKING IDEA what you’ve done?” I hissed and leaned my forehead into hers, the back of her head pressed against the crest rail. Her face was ashen, but I wanted to be sure she saw the rage in my eyes. Her bottom lip trembled and I felt her shallow breath crawl against my skin like a bug. I stood up straight, not wanting to touch her for another second.

“You have taken the single most important thing in my life away from me, Carmin … and for what?” I grabbed the edge of the table and pushed it up until it tilted sideways, a loud echo of wood and chairs scraping vibrated in my ear. Carmin was now sobbing louder, but I couldn’t care less. She deserved more than just a few guilty tears.

“FOR WHAT?” I yelled and kicked my chair backwards.

“I was scared, okay? I didn’t know what to do. Adam was already GONE.” She was hiccupping now. “He wouldn’t have left his tour for me, and the baby would have grown up with an absent father for years.” She stood up and watched as I scrambled to get my phone and the envelope scattered on the floor. That held my only answer to reaching Peach. MY PEACH.

“I
always
had to share everything with Savannah. You don’t know what it was like growing up with her! She was the
perfect
daughter, she had
perfect
grades — every guy I liked only ever wanted to date
her
!”

I turned around and snarled, “Savannah loved you! You have no idea the things she did to try and make you happy! I couldn’t even date her because she was worried about
you
.” I looked her over in disgust. “You were just too busy worrying about yourself to notice.” I lifted up the table leg so I could pull out the envelope and then raced to my room.

Reaching for my duffel bag on the top shelf of my closet, I pulled down a couple shirts off the hangers and stuffed them inside. Then I opened each drawer and grabbed handfuls of clothing without thinking twice. A stack of T-shirts, shorts, socks, and underwear. I was blinded by rage and desperation. Anything else I needed, I’d just have to find someplace to buy it. I walked past Julio’s room and stopped to glare at the letters on the door I had hung up just last week. I knocked each one down. J-U-L-I-O. Adam was the father. I was not. Before I could leave, I remembered she was still in my house.

I walked over to her and she took a step back. “Adam, huh? Does he even
know
?”

Her silence was grating. Disgusting. If he’d known,
he
would have taken care of her. Adam was a good guy and deserved to be a father.

“We never even had sex together, did we?” I spit out. She crossed her arms to her chest and stayed tight lipped. I shook my head and didn’t let her answer. “Nah, not even shit faced drunk would I ever sleep with you.”

I pointed my finger at her. “You’re a selfish bitch.” Her eyes lowered and her arms fell to her sides. “You better pray Savannah talks to me and gives me another chance.”

I could hear the sound of my heartbeat in my ears. It’s like the blood had rushed to my eyes and was clouding my vision. My legs wanted to sprint to Peach. I had so much energy.

“Make sure all of that shit is out of my house before I get back.” I slammed the door shut, not caring who or what I was leaving behind. I didn’t have any more time to waste. I’d wasted enough already. I had to get back what was mine.