Resplendent (25 page)

“No,” I answered softly. “He didn’t teach me that,” I jerked my head toward the door. “Let’s go, we’ll go out to eat tonight, but then you have to go home so I can rest.” I held the door open for her.

She smiled and grabbed her purse. “Thank you.”

I nodded in response and she leaned up on her tippy toes and placed a kiss to my cheek, slightly touching the corner of my lips in the process. Our eyes met for a second, and I immediately felt guilty. I didn’t get the same feelings with her as I did with Peach, and she wasn’t around, but none of this felt right. I turned around so I could lock up.

“Where do you want to go?” I asked after a few minutes of driving down Flagler Street.

“Wherever is fine,” she answered and looked out the window.

“Pizza?” I teased her.

She rolled her eyes. “Funny.”

She leaned forward and pointed in front of us. “What about Olive Garden? You can have your pizza and I’ll get pasta.” She smiled at me and I nodded. I really did want pizza. With hot sauce. Peach. I frowned and wondered if she would find someone who loved hot sauce as much as me. That was our thing!

When I arrived and went up to the hostess, we found out it was an hour wait. I realized it was Saturday night.
Of course
there would be a long wait. I was looking for a bench to sit down, but Carmin pulled my hand.

“Let’s go to Buy Buy Baby and kill time!” She was grinning from ear to ear.

I guess even pregnancy hormones couldn’t stop women from getting excited to go shopping. Fucking fantastic. Why couldn’t she have come here tomorrow?
Alone
.

We crossed the street and went into the massive baby store. This was like the Home Depot of baby shit. I’m talking ceiling to floor, shelf to shelf, row to row, of baby items. Holy Fucking Shit.

We checked out aisle to aisle. I walked blindly and in awe of the number of contraptions I saw. Carmin seemed to be doing better than me and pointed out all the things our baby would need. Bottles, diapers, a bag for the diapers, a bag for dads to hold the diapers — I paid attention to this because no dad wanted to be seen with a pink polka dot purse thing — crib, sheets, bibs, clothing that looked like it would fit the dolls my sister used to play with, then more clothes for each month they grew. An interesting box that she told me was a wipe warmer.

“You mean to tell me that kids need warm wipes to clean their ass?”

She laughed and pulled on my sleeve to the next aisle. “It will make them more comfortable.”

“That’s ridiculous. My boy will just have to suck it up,” I scoffed. Victoria and I had survived. Any Rivera baby could.

“It might be a girl, you know,” she reminded me and lifted up her eyebrow.

A girl.
I frowned and rubbed my chin. A little daddy’s girl seemed cool.

A sales lady with a name tag that said Christina came up to us with a sheet of “The Top 75 ‘Must-Have’ Items
Every
Parent Should Have on Their Registry!” 75 items! Are these people on crack? No way could a little human being need
that
much. I noticed the butt warmer was listed and snorted. This sheet needed updating. A lot of other things did seem important though, and the dollar sign popped up in my head. I mentally calculated how much a baby was costing us.

“When you and your wife are ready, you can come back and speak with me. I’ll help you start your registry.” Christina smiled kindly and walked away.

My wife. 75 must-haves, a little girl.

My head spun.

“I think it’s been an hour,” I announced to Carmin while she took a whiff of bathroom products.

“It’s been thirty minutes,” she complained but stopped when she saw my face.

“You okay?” She placed her hand on my arm.

“It’s a little overwhelming,” I admitted.

“Okay, let’s go. I just want to buy something for the baby.”

I nodded and followed her to the racks of clothes. I should have taken that opportunity in Orlando; the extra money could have helped with this. I didn’t have the heart to go back and reschedule when I had so much stuff going on here.

I noticed Carmin pick up a pajama set that had three little ducks on it. It said, “Mommy Loves Me.”

My brows furrowed.
What the fuck?
What about Daddy?
I could be a good father who loved his kid just like my dad had loved me. Carmin had showed me the ultrasound and her belly kept growing. If that kid was mine, he was going to be loved by
both
of us.

On our way to the register, I found a bib that said, “Daddy Loves Me” in green letters. There, I felt a little better. I smiled proudly and Carmin laughed.

“What? I’m not going to be outdone,” I said, defending myself.

She shook her head but didn’t argue with me. Maybe shopping for a baby
would
be fun.

I paid and we walked back to the restaurant. They sat us in a booth and I looked through the menu, while our server gave us the specials for the night. When he offered us wine, I shook my head.

“And for your wife?” My hands fisted under the table. There goes that word again.

Carmin blushed and looked up at him. “No, I’m pregnant,” she answered.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize.” He took our order and grabbed the menus, saying congratulations before walking away.

“I thought you wanted pizza, why did you order pasta?” She placed her elbows on the table and her chin on her hands. That’s when I saw the light catch on her ring finger. She was wearing what looked to be an engagement ring. Only it wasn’t real. It couldn’t be since I definitely hadn’t proposed, and she wasn’t seeing anyone. She was wearing a cubic zirconia. Now I knew why everyone was going around calling her my wife! Was she kidding? I’d take care of our baby, but there was no way in HELL, I’d take the marriage step with her.

I grabbed her hand and held it in mine, rubbing my thumb over the ring. “What’s this?”

She blushed again and shrugged. Her free hand went under the table. “You know what it is. It’s a ring.”

“I’ll be more specific for you.
Why
are you wearing a fake engagement ring?” I stared at her, but she broke eye contact and pulled her hand back.

The waiter came back with our drinks and she took a sip before answering. “I didn’t want to look like a single mother,” she said softly.

I rubbed my hand on my face and leaned forward. This was going from bad to worse. “Why do you want to be with me, Carmin?”

She looked up at me then and squinted her eyes. “I didn’t say you had to propose.”

“I know you didn’t. I’m asking why you want to be with me?”

She pursed her lips but said nothing.

“This isn’t a trick question. I want to know if you
really
think we’d be good together.”

I was genuinely interested in her thoughts. The crazy ideas that ran through that thick head of hers.

She glared at me. “I KNOW we’d be good together.”

Oh yeah, she was nuts.

She placed her napkin on the table and ran her fingers along the condensation off the glass. “It’s you who’s hung up on someone else.”

“I’m not
hung up
,” I clarified. “I love her!”

She leaned back in her seat and rubbed her arms, slightly shaking her head.

But I wasn’t done. I lifted my hand and started ticking off things with my fingers. “One: you’ve been coming by my house more often. Two: we’ve been going out to have dinner every weekend. Three: you’re wearing a ring.” I leaned back and put my own napkin on the table. “It’s feeling more and more like a relationship.” The kind I didn’t want to be a part of, with her.

“We have a child together. That’s a relationship whether you like it or not.”

“I just think we should be happy with who we decide to spend our life with,” I protested. She just wasn’t getting it. Who we love and who we settle for are two different things. I wasn’t sure how I could explain this to her.

“I think we would be perfectly happy.” She wiped at the corner of her eyes, and I immediately felt guilty. “You just won’t give me a chance.”

Maybe I wasn’t getting it. She was right about one thing. I never gave her much of a chance. But how could I? When Peach was all I thought about? Even now, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was thinking of me too.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” I said, seriously. I just wanted the truth. I wanted something real. She nodded but didn’t answer me. I ran my hands through my hair and took in a deep breath. “I want to do what’s right.”

She scooted over in her seat and stopped on the edge of the booth. “The baby needs a father in his or her life.
That’s
what’s right.” With that, she excused herself and got up to use the restroom.

Once again, I didn’t have a clue what to do. Right now, I just wanted to go to the gym.

The lines drawn on the blueprints stared back at me as if daring me to question them. I tilted my head in response. Something wasn’t right. I looked over every inch of that paper. The raised panel maple cabinets seemed to be placed where they were supposed to be. They would be painted pearl gray as soon as the order was done. I mentally counted off each appliance: the KitchenAid 24” stainless steel dishwasher, Kenmore 30” gas stove, Kenmore French door refrigerator — also stainless steel, of course. Check, check, check. This kitchen was going to be fucking amazing and yet, I couldn’t sign off on it.

“Boss, all done?” Tommy came up behind me and tried to grab the print, but I pulled it aside.

“Not yet,” I stared back at it, “something’s off.”

He frowned and peered over my shoulder. “What’s wrong? I double checked it myself.”
Huh.
Tommy was pretty good about double checking his work before giving it to me to sign off on. He was almost as neurotic as I was. Almost.

“I can’t shake the feeling that it’s not right.”

Tommy blew out a breath. I knew it bothered him that I was questioning his work. I trusted him; it was nothing personal. I was just thorough when it came to detail. He was only twenty-one and still new in the field. I pictured him like a little brother at times. Maybe the noise of saws and drills in the background as the current kitchen was being pulled apart had been distracting me lately. I had a headache.

“Don’t worry, T, it’ll come to me and if it doesn’t by the end of day — I’ll sign off on it.” I tried to ease his worry, but I wouldn’t sign anything until I was
absolutely
sure.

“You ladies done arguing?” A familiar voice boomed in the doorway.

“Oh shit!” I smiled and walked over to Eddy. “I forgot you were coming today, bro.”

We gave each other a pat on the back before pulling back.

“I’m starving,” he responded and waved his finger between Tommy and me. “You love birds just about done here?”

I grinned and turned around to walk back to the dining table wrapped in poly cover.

“I’ll be done here soon.”

“What’s ‘soon’?” He walked next to me as I looked at the blueprint again. Maybe I
needed
a break. I could come back to this with a fresh mind. “Because if you say fifteen minutes, that could actually mean more like an hour.” He chuckled and it hit me like a truck.

“Fifteen?”

He was glancing down at his phone. “Don’t look so shocked, you know you’re always running late.”

I held up my hand. “No, no, wait,” I walked to my business folder where I kept all my notes on my meetings and went back to my very first meeting with the Garcias last month. Tommy and Eddy walked over to me in curiosity. I trailed my finger down the page until I found it.

“There.” I pointed to the specific spot and turned the notepad to Tommy. “They want the cabinets fifteen inches wide, not twelve.” I jerked my head to the blueprint. “You had it marked twelve.”

Tommy’s eyes grew wide and he held his hands up. “I was just copying what Rick gave me!” Another light bulb.

“Rick has dyslexia. His 12’s are usually 15’s.” I pulled out my pen from behind my ear and made the corrections. Finally, I was able to initial the bottom right hand corner. “No big deal,” I continued and handed him the layout. “Now you’re good to go.”