Resplendent (33 page)

“I didn’t know she used to take that. How long has it been?” They’d never mentioned anything to me before. I guess they wouldn’t though.

“Oh, it started before the pregnancy. Maybe about a year and a half now.”

She patted my cheek and forced a smile. “We’ll figure things out one day at a time.”

I stayed quiet as I watched her walk to the car and get inside. Being away from home for so many years, I hadn’t noticed how bad Carmin had gotten. No amount of stress was an excuse for how she had lied and manipulated all of us for her own pleasure, but I still felt sorry for her. I waved to Lola as she pulled out of the driveway and stepped back inside.

Leaning on the door frame, I saw Andres laughing at something Jared was saying as he took another sip of his beer.

I narrowed my eyes and reflected on what Andres had said to me the morning he’d called me at El Pueblito Viejo.

I only had a couple more drinks after you left, and then I blacked out
.

I turned my head slowly and saw Lola drive away. Her words struck out to me.

Oh, it started before the pregnancy. Maybe about a year and a half now.

When I looked back at Andres with the beer in his hand and a smile on his face, I slowly walked inside the house. She hadn’t bothered to call me
once
to explain herself. If I was being honest with myself, I’d say I hadn’t wanted her to anyway. I had convinced myself that I didn’t need to hear any more lies out of her mouth. Now I couldn’t wait to speak with her. I was going to get answers and I would get them today.

I reached for my keys and put them in my back pocket. I walked toward Dre and placed my hand on his arm. “Dre, I’m going to see Carmin.”

He jerked his body back as if I’d burned him. “What?
Why
?” His brow furrowed.

Everyone looked up at me.

“I have to speak to her,” I addressed them all.

“Peach, no.” Andres shook his head and I let go of his arm.

“Why now, Savannah? What’s wrong?” Victoria tried to stand from her seat, but I subtly shook my head.

I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew I had to get this done.

“Nothing, I just need to do this,” I told Victoria and hoped that she’d understand not to press me on this. Her lips tightened but she stayed quiet.

“I can go by myself,” I said and faced Andres.

Andres grumbled. “Like hell, I’ll go with you.” He turned to his sister, who was still holding the baby. “Can you watch her for a bit?”

“It really won’t take long,” I interjected.

Victoria nodded eagerly. “Of course.” I breathed a sigh of relief. For some reason, I didn’t want to take Emily with me. I didn’t want Carmin to see her. She wasn’t allowed to have that.

I handed my keys to Andres so he could drive, and we were silent for most of the way.

“What do you have to ask her, Peach?” he said, his jaw clenched.

I pulled the pad of my thumb away from my mouth. “I need to find out what happened that night.”

Andres groaned. “No, Peach, she’s going to keep feeding you lies and then we’ll fight.”

“
No
. We won’t.”

He gripped the steering wheel and pulled into the driveway. Lola wasn’t home yet, she must have had to run errands, but Carmin’s car was there. My insides flip-flopped.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and faced him. “Stay in the car.”

He raised his hand. “No. Uh-uh — I’m going with you.”

“Dre,” I said through clenched teeth. “Stay. In. The. Car.”

His fingers rested on the handle as we stared each other down. This was something that I had to do and not even his death glare was going to cause me to back down. If he got out of the car, he’d get in my way to try and protect me.

“Fine,” he complied and lowered his window. “But I want you to stay outside so I can hear.”

“All right.” It was better than having him hover over me.

I got out of the car and let out a deep breath. I rang the doorbell and waited for her to open, hoping she’d get out and not slam the door in my face.

Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long. The door opened to a wide-eyed, non-pregnant Carmin. I think it was even safe to say she was skinnier than before she was pregnant and her baby was only about 6 weeks! Her hair was longer, and her skin was paler. She was different. This wasn’t family. She was a stranger to me.

“Where’s Andres?” She twisted her neck to try and glance behind me.

I blinked. My body began to shake and I fisted my hands. “That’s it?” I took a step forward as she walked out of the house. She ignored me, so I continued. “We’ve known each other our whole lives. I lived in your home for
four years
. You haven’t bothered to call, visit, or even
write
me an apology for what you’ve done, and the first words out of your mouth when I do see you are, ‘
Where’s Dre
?’”

She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. “So?” she sneered.

I placed one foot in front of me and lowered my voice. “
My fiancé
is keeping my bed warm at night, attending to
his
daughter, and is of no concern to
you
.”

Carmin lifted her chin, and I could see a slight tremble of her lip.

I slowly shook my head at her.
Unbelievable
.

“Why’d you do it, Carmin?” I probed. “Why the lies? Why the torture? For
what
?”

Carmin scoffed and avoided my eyes. “What? You think you were the only one that wanted a family? That wanted to succeed?” She dropped her arms.

“You
have
a family, Carmin! I didn’t,” I answered her, my face heated.

“I only had a mother,” she said, as if one parent was insignificant.

“And
both
my parents
died
!” I yelled. She didn’t even flinch. How dare she compare the two of us! We weren’t the same.

“But you found a new one with mine, right?” Her eyes were psychotic, and she pointed her finger at my chest. “You
had
to come in as the perfect daughter and take over my house!”

A tear escaped the corner of her eyes and she wiped it off hastily.
How could she think that?
I waved my arms around as I talked, high on energy.

“Your mother loves you, she’s sick with worry over you.”

Carmin rolled her eyes and laughed, but it was cut short. “Oh yeah, real worried. The troublemaker she’s used to.” There was just no getting through to her. I knew at that moment, that the last person that could help her was me.

I shook my head at her. “Is that why you drugged Andres with your Xanax, Carmin? To steal him from me? This was some sort of revenge?”

Carmin pulled her hand to her side and flicked her nails. “I don’t know what you mean,” she lied.

“Why did you drug him that night, Carmin?”

She ignored me and I refrained from shaking her.

I took another step. “Answer me!”

She dropped her hand and took a step back. “It was just one pill! Chill the fuck out!”

My lips parted and my entire body hummed. I froze for a second, and her words spun in my brain.
It was just one pill
. Nothing had real meaning to her. I bit my tongue hard to try and consider my words first, but the heat was rising in my body and I wanted to burn her face.

“You could have KILLED HIM!” I screamed.

I felt Andres behind my back. “Peach, let’s go.” I hadn’t even noticed he got out of the car. I didn’t look at him. I wasn’t done. The mixture of alcohol and Xanax could have seriously taken his life. She had no brain! If he would have died for her selfish reasons, where would I be now? My claws came out and they were sharp.

“When I kissed him -” I didn’t let her finish, as I pulled my hand back and my fist connected with her nose.
Hard
.

She stumbled back and fell to the floor, her hand on her face.

“Savannah!” Andres grabbed my waist as I thrashed against his body. I wanted to wrap my hand around her neck. That fucking bitch!

“
Puta
!” I yelled as Andres dragged me all the way to the car. I could hear Carmin moan, but I couldn’t see her anymore. No one would have expected that from me.

I kicked my legs against his. She was lucky Dre was here.

Andres rested my back on the side of the door and pressed himself against me.

“All you’re seeing is red, Peach. Breathe with me, inhale.” I could see him take in a breath, but my chest only heaved. I stared into his brown eyes and felt the warmth of his palm on the side of my face. His eyes level with mine as he kept repeating the same words to me.
Breathe with me; inhale
. I twisted my body against him to try and get away, but he held me firm. I glanced down to his chest and tried to find the same rhythm as him.
Breathe with me; inhale
. My heartbeat hammered and I fought for control.
Breathe with me; inhale
. I silently repeated the words, while my eyes focused on his chest. He didn’t break eye contact or let me go until he saw the shift in me that I was slightly getting better.

“I’m going to put you in the car, okay? And then we’re going to go home and talk about this.” He quickly kissed my lips. “Then we’re going to move forward and never look back, like we discussed. Okay?” his thumb rubbed my lips and I saw him nod. I managed to lift my head up and down.

He opened the car door and I slid inside. Now that he wasn’t holding me, my legs felt like jelly. I pulled them up and wrapped my arms around them.
Breathe with me; inhale
.

He hightailed out of the driveway and rubbed the back of my neck.

“Let me see your hand,” he said softly.

“She could have killed you,” I told him. I didn’t care about my hand!

He sighed. “I know, Peach.”

I reached out and grabbed his hand instead and pressed it to my lips. I didn’t let go.

We were silent again on the drive and when we got home, I ran inside the house and looked for my daughter frantically. Finally, I found her resting in Victoria’s arms, still asleep, in the backyard.

“Hey, what happened?” Victoria asked, alarmed when she saw me breeze through the sliding glass doors.

I shook my head, still wigged out. I gently placed soft kisses on Emily’s head and ran my fingers through her hair. Without Andres, there’d be no Emily.

“What happened to your hand?” Jared gasped.

“She sucker-punched Carmin,” Andres answered for me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my shoulders.

“Oh my God, no way!”

Dre recounted the story, although he missed some of the dialogue. Victoria didn’t seem to mind since she gave me a high five — on my good hand — when he was done.

“That fucking bitch deserved it and more!”

I let out a short laugh and hugged her. “Proud of you,” she whispered in my ear.

I got up and walked to the garden hose. I needed to keep busy to wash out this fire.

“Hey, we okay?” Andres asked, concern in his voice.

The fact that Carmin drugged him bounced around in my mind. The more I thought about her getting under my skin and ruining another day in my life, the more it was
no
t going to be accepted. I told Dre the visit would not cause us to fight, and I meant to keep my word.

There was something better than watering the grass.

I pulled the hose in front of me and pressed on the nozzle, spraying him from head to toe. He leaped back and held up his hands, mouth open in shock.

“That’s for dragging me into the cold ass beach water!” I yelled and tilted my head back to laugh. A real, genuine laugh that came from deep in my belly and warmed my heart.

He stared at me wide-eyed. I heard Victoria and Jared hooting and hollering.

“Man, she got you good!” Jared said.

“Oh, you are so dead!” He lunged for me and I shrieked. I dropped the hose and made a run for it. He chased me until I reached the pool table we had on the patio. Both of us on either side. When he tried to move one way, I ran to the opposite end.

“You can’t stay there forever,” he teased. I quickly glanced behind him and saw Victoria whispering loving words to Emily while Jared ran his fingers along Victoria’s stomach.
Was she…?
She looked up at me then and gave me a wink. My heart soared. Andres held up his hand to block the sun from his face. A flashback of the last ten years ran through my mind. I finally had my family, and I knew with every fiber of my being that we would learn to overcome anything thrown our way — together. There was a lot of ugliness in this world, but our love wasn’t one of those things. I would fight for the beauty in my life. Andres shifted his body and smiled at me. I blew him a kiss. When he darted in my direction, I let him catch me.

It’s easy to sit and write in the comfort of your home. There’s no one around you to laugh or ridicule, tell you what’s wrong or what’s right. You can write the sky is green and the grass is blue and no one would care. It’s an entirely different thing to stay up late at night, spending time away from your family, tweaking, re-reading, and re-writing
knowing
in the back of your head: Someone will read this and I will be judged. Sharing is a selfless act.