Positively Yours (19 page)

‘I'll drive,' said Erin to John as they locked the house. ‘My stomach is in no mood to handle any more drink, but I'd appreciate it if you would keep an eye on your drinks, too, we still might have a chance of conceiving tonight.'

‘Are you off your head?' John laughed. ‘You expect me to sleep with you tonight?'

‘Don't talk to me like that,' she said, turning on the engine.

‘You can't treat me the way you do and then expect me to have sex, all because you need to at a certain time. God, I thought you had changed on Friday night, but I see that was just the drink talking and acting.'

Erin bit her tongue. She didn't need John to get more annoyed with her than he already was. This baby-making project couldn't work without him.

They drove to the restaurant in silence, but just before they walked through the doors John put his hand on Erin's arm.

‘Let's just try to relax and enjoy ourselves tonight. We haven't seen Ruth and Stephen in ages.'

Erin agreed, she knew John was right.

‘Jessica almost gave poor Stephen a heart attack the other day. She climbed out of the cot! Stephen found her in the bathroom. She'd climbed into our shower and was eating an old sponge!'

Erin and John laughed as Ruth filled them in on baby Jessica's antics. She was a gorgeous child, but wild, and they had their hands full with her. Erin knew they had been right not to cancel their night with Ruth and Stephen. It was lovely catching up with them. Erin's appetite had finally come back, too, and she was ravenous from a weekend of nothing more than toast.

‘Although, I suppose Jessica will have to move out of the cot soon, anyway, and not just because she can pole-vault over it,' said Stephen, grinning.

Erin looked at him, confused. Stephen turned to Ruth.

‘Go on, Ruthie, we might as well tell them.'

‘Well, you're not going to believe this, but I'm pregnant,' said Ruth.

Erin and John were both surprised, they hadn't thought the couple would have gotten pregnant again so soon.

‘I know what you're thinking,' joked Ruth. ‘Trust me, this wasn't planned.'

‘God, no,' added Stephen, as he ordered another pint of beer.

‘No, not planned. The flipping pill didn't work. Again!' said Ruth, shaking her head.

Erin felt her pulse race.

‘Yip, once again we got caught out. Honestly I must be the only person in the world who, trying every brand of the pill, has managed to find two that got me pregnant. It's a disaster!'

Erin couldn't keep her mouth shut any longer.

‘How can you describe being pregnant, which is a true blessing, as a disaster?'

Ruth looked a bit put out.

‘Oh, Erin! It's not that we didn't want children, but just not right now, what with our jobs and all. Of course Jessica was a blessing in disguise, and we love her more than anything, but still she wasn't exactly planned. And we certainly didn't want to have two babies under two. And now, in less than seven months we will be back to night feeds, colic and weaning all over again.'

‘God, I'd almost forgotten about night feeds,' whined Stephen.

Erin was enraged.

‘You know, there are plenty of women who would kill to be in your position. It's not fair.'

Ruth looked perplexed; she didn't understand her friend's anger.

John intervened.

‘Congratulations, Ruth. We are so happy for you both. I suppose it just reminds us that we need to get going!' John tried to make light of the fact that Erin was embarrassing him in front of his oldest friend.

‘I still think you shouldn't go around complaining that the pill didn't work. In my opinion too many of us have taken the pill for too long. It's ruined many women's chances of getting pregnant.'

‘Whatever you say,' said Ruth, who was clearly annoyed.

John and Stephen both tried to deflect the conversation away from babies, and soon the food arrived and they all got stuck in.

Erin was very quiet, her mind racing. She knew she was at the age where most people were having babies, but she honestly felt she was being bombarded from every possible angle by pregnant women, taunted by smug mothers.

‘Erin, guess who I met the other day? A blast from your past – Judy Kennedy.'

Erin giggled. Ruth had known that would make her smile. Judy had been an old neighbour of hers, who also knew Ruth through college. Erin hadn't seen her in years, but unfortunately Ruth had got stuck with her on many nights out. Like Ruth, Judy had had a daughter – and just recently a son. She was a complete snob and socialite.

‘Is she still queen of Dublin's nightlife?' asked John, who found her utterly unbearable.

‘Oh yes,' said Ruth. ‘We were comparing notes on babies the other day, and I asked her if her newborn Conrad was sleeping through the night, and she had no idea. “Our night nurse tells us he is,” she said. “But of course, who knows if it is true? But it's not our problem!”'

‘Imagine having a night nurse,' said Stephen wistfully.

‘That's awful,' said Erin. ‘I knew she had lots of babysitters, but a full-time night nurse! I would never do that.'

‘
I bet if you had the money you would,' added Stephen, who evidently was sleep-deprived.

‘No, I never would,' said Erin adamantly.

‘Anyway, isn't she going to the South of France for two weeks next week, with the kids and their nannies? We still haven't brought Jessica abroad, we haven't been brave enough! I just can't imagine how much luggage we would need to bring.'

‘I imagine Judy will have lots of things to bring, what with two babies,' said Erin as she finished off her meal.

‘Oh no, she has none! She told me she couldn't be bothered to organize and pack for the holiday, so she bought a second of everything that the babies needed. And a few weeks ago she shipped it all to the five-star hotel!'

‘I'm surprised she didn't ship the kids over, too,' added John, joking. ‘Just to save her the hassle of bringing them on a flight!'

‘Oh, trust me, if she could have I'm sure she would,' laughed Ruth. The guys were now laughing, too. Everyone found the story funny except Erin.

‘Why would someone like her have children if she isn't going to act like she cares? If she isn't going to mind them at night-time, isn't going to organize and pack for their holiday? God, it makes me sick. It's all so unfair.'

‘Calm down. That's just Judy for you,' said John, trying to nudge her under the table.

‘Stop touching me,' yelled Erin at John.

There was silence at the table. Suddenly the waitress came to take away their empty plates.

‘Can we get the bill, please?' asked Ruth. ‘I didn't realize the time, we'd better get home to relieve my mum.'

John knew Ruth could have stayed out later, but she wanted to get away from Erin.

After paying the bill, the couples said their goodbyes, and Erin and John got into the car.

‘Well, I reckon we can say farewell to that friendship,' said John. He was outraged. ‘You were totally irrational all night. What is wrong with you?'

‘Me? I can't believe you were all joking about Ruth's mishap with the pill, and Judy and her night-nurse addiction. My God, do you even want children?'

John covered his face with his hands.

‘I can't do this any more. I can't have the same conversation a thousand times.'

Erin wasn't listening. She drove home as fast as she could, wanting to get away from John. He was clearly not on her wavelength.

John opened the front door to their home. It looked so neat and perfect, yet was so silent and empty. Horribly empty, thought Erin, who knew only the sound of a child could fill that space.

‘You are going to have to ring Ruth to apologize,' said John, as they walked into their bedroom.

‘Why should I?' she asked, irritated.

‘Because she's one of our closest friends, and when she told us she was pregnant, all you did was jump down her throat over her use of the pill. You had no right to do that, Erin.'

‘Don't tell me what to do,' replied Erin angrily, as she began taking her make-up off.

‘Well, someone needs to tell you, because you are losing it. You acted totally out of line tonight.'

‘Me? You were the one drinking, and I know you sneaked out for a cigarette. You aren't taking this seriously. No wonder we're not pregnant.'

John looked at her in shock.

‘You blame everyone but yourself for not being pregnant. It's your life that needs to change, not mine. You're probably
too uptight to get pregnant. But either way I don't care any more.'

‘What does that mean?' Erin asked snootily.

‘It means you have lost track of all the good things in your life. You're too busy focusing on what you haven't got. And it's clear you don't care about me, either. I think you don't care who you have a child with, just as long as you get pregnant. You are so baby-focused that I'm not a part of your life right now. And I can't live like this.'

Erin felt emotionless. John was clearly upset, but she was sure that once she'd got pregnant they'd have plenty of time to worry about their own relationship and their friends. The main thing was the baby.

Suddenly John stood up and pulled down his old gym bag. He started flinging shirts, jumpers and shoes into it.

‘What are you doing?' asked Erin, surprised.

John didn't answer, he just continued grabbing clothes from the wardrobe.

‘John?' Erin asked again, this time seizing his arm.

He shrugged it off, but as he turned to her she could see there were tears rolling down his face. Erin hadn't seen him cry for years. She was immediately shocked, and more aware of what was happening. This was real.

‘I'm sorry. I can't do this. I love you, but you've pushed me too far,' John said.

‘Where are you going?' she asked.

‘My brother's house, I guess,' he added quietly, his face white.

And with that John picked up the bag and stormed down the stairs.

Erin ran after him, but he got into his car before she made it to the front door. She watched as he reversed. She sat on the porch as he drove off. She started shaking. She grabbed her
phone and rang his number, but it rang out. She kept ringing it until eventually his phone was switched off. She sat on the stairs for hours, watching the driveway, waiting for his car to come back, but it never did. The house lay empty and still. She was all alone.

‘
HE'S GOT A
look of your father,' said Patsy Slattery very seriously.

‘Mum, what are you talking about? It looks like an eel, or some kind of jellyfish,' replied Grace, as she took the picture of her baby's twenty-week scan back from her mother.

‘Don't talk about your beloved child like that. Can you not see how beautiful he or she is? And I'm telling you it has the Slattery forehead.'

Grace sighed. Her mum had been examining the scan for hours now. Every few minutes she'd announce how she thought it was definitely a boy, only to then uncover some new bit of evidence that would make her change her prediction to a girl.

‘A girl would be so cute,' said Patsy as she poured Grace some more tea. ‘Imagine a little girl all dressed in pink running around! It would be like the old days, when all you wanted were your Barbie dolls, a Wendy house and some peace and quiet from your rowdy brothers.'

All Grace still wanted was some peace and quiet from them. For the last two months Colm and Aidan had been teasing Grace and Ethan about their unborn child. Of course they were happy that their sister was pregnant, but that didn't stop the jokes about the possibility of the baby having red hair.

‘Ginger Miller has a nice ring to it,' said Aidan.

‘It will be known as “Redster” in school,' agreed Colm.

‘What about Carrot Top Miller? CTM for short?' asked Aidan.

Poor Ethan couldn't handle the teasing. Grace was well used to the boys' digs about her red hair. She took after her mum, while the boys had both inherited her dad's dark brown hair. Ethan couldn't see the problem, though. In America he had thought the Irish red hair and green eyes look was kinda exotic. He hadn't realized the problems it caused in Ireland.

The last two months had been hard for Grace. It had taken weeks for herself and Ethan to get their heads around being pregnant. It was hard enough for Ethan to be in a new country, with new people and a new job, without having to deal with the idea of becoming a parent soon, too. She knew he missed not having his own brothers, Randy and Matt, to chat to. They both had kids, and she wondered if visiting them would have helped him see the good in having children. Another problem had been their dog.

‘What about Coco? He's not good around children. He's not going to be happy,' worried Ethan.

At first Grace had worried about Coco, too. She had watched him online via Matt and Cindy's webcam, but then recently she had spent more time on pregnancy websites than the usual dog ones. Coco was like a child to her, too, and for years all she had worried about was him. But she had almost forgotten about his wellbeing since the baby news. She felt guilty, but she had more important things to fret about. After Christmas, they had finally moved from the hotel to a house in affluent Foxrock. It was a modest place, yet had a large garden, and was well protected from the road by large iron gates and a good security system. But even after the move Grace and Ethan had had many things to work out. Yes, Grace
would have the baby in Dublin, but how soon after would they travel back to San Diego? If Patsy had her way Grace would be chained to Ireland and not allowed to leave the country. Patsy wanted her grandchildren to grow up knowing how to speak Irish, knowing where Europe was on a map, and most of all knowing her.

‘How can this grandchild know me if you live thousands of miles away? It would break my heart to hear them speak in a foreign accent.'