Of Love & Regret (15 page)

“I don’t want to
stop,” I said, surprised by how sure I was of this decision. “I’m tired of
second-guessing everything I do. For once, I just want to be happy.”

The look of naked
vulnerability on Logan’s face was heart shattering. “I’ll make you happy,” he
vowed, his expression serious. “I promise I’ll do everything in my power to
make sure you never regret being with me.”

I opened my mouth
to respond, but any words I might have said were forgotten as he crushed his
lips against mine. There was no longer any gentleness in our kiss. It was
driven by pure lust and another emotion I didn’t want to put a label on. The
only things that existed in that moment were his lips and his tongue and my
aching need to be consumed by him.

I had to swallow a
whimper when he broke the kiss. My lips almost felt bruised, yet I put pressure
on the back of his head to urge him close again, needing to be connected to
him.

“I’ve been waiting
a long time for this,” he said huskily. “We’re going to take this slow.”

He lifted me up
into his arms with no warning and I squealed, grabbing onto his neck. “You’ve
been reading too many romance novels,” I said, surprised that I could joke at a
moment like this. “Except you’re supposed to be wearing a billowing white shirt
and have long flowing hair.”

The side of
Logan’s mouth quirked up as he strode into the bedroom. “I’ll try for the Fabio
look next time. For now, you’re going to have to make do with just me.”

There was nothing
“just” about Logan. My laughter vanished as he gently set me on the bed, his
expression full of humor and desire. Any woman would be lucky to have a man
like Logan look at her with that kind of expression. The fact that it was
directed at me took my breath away.

“Logan,” I
started, not sure of what I was going to say. I just felt like I had to say
something, otherwise I would become lost in the tenderness of his gaze and lose
myself forever.

“We’ve done enough
talking,” he chided softly.

He turned on the
lamp next to my bed, and I almost asked him to turn it off. Maybe this would be
easier if we couldn’t see each other. The thought disappeared as he pressed me
into the bed with the weight of his body.

“Let me love you.”

No vocabulary
existed to express how those four words affected me, so I decided to let my
body show him how badly I wanted him. He caught my mouth in a fierce kiss, and
I eagerly slid my hands underneath his shirt, reveling in the warm muscles of
his broad back. A shudder went through me when his mouth slowly trailed warm
kisses down my neck as his hands pushed my shirt up. I arched my back to give
him access to unhook my bra, but he just continued to kiss his way down to my
belly button. My breasts were already heavy with arousal and straining against
my bra, and I was desperate to feel his mouth and hands on them.

I almost sighed
with relief when his mouth drifted up again. My hard nipples were clearly
evident through my bra, and I moaned when he scraped his teeth against one
aroused nub. The thin material of my bra seemed to heighten the sensation, and
I strained towards him, silently asking for more. I cried out in satisfaction when
he took the hard nipple into his mouth. I threaded my hands in his hair, urging
him on although he needed no encouragement. I could feel the wetness of his
tongue laving against me as if the fabric between my breast and the heat of his
mouth didn’t exist.

I looked down at
him, finding the sight of him sucking on my nipple through my bra insanely
erotic. He kept his eyes on mine as he pulled the cup of my bra down to bare my
breast. My nipple was achingly sensitive and the flick of his tongue against my
naked flesh made me whimper. When he took it between his teeth and pulled
gently but firmly, I felt the sensation shoot straight through me, and I was
unable to suppress my cry.

“I love hearing
the sounds you make,” he murmured. Before I could even try to put my thoughts
in order to form a reply, he latched onto the nipple again, taking it deep into
his mouth and sucking hard.

“Oh God, don’t
stop,” I pleaded, amazed at how his mouth on my breast could drive me so crazy.
Logan pulled down the cup of my bra on my other breast and showed it the same
attention. My nipples had always been sensitive, but I had never been so close
to the edge just by having them sucked on. My body was flushed, and I felt hot
and restless. I wanted to feel his skin against mine so I pulled at his shirt
impatiently. I was rewarded by Logan lifting himself up momentarily to pull his
shirt over his head and tossing it on the floor. My shirt and bra soon followed
suit, and he leaned back to study me, his blue eyes intent.

I glanced down to
see what he saw. My swollen breasts were tipped with dusky rose nipples that
were clearly erect and wet from the ministrations of his mouth. A tinge of pink
was evident where his mouth had suckled me, and I felt a thrill at seeing the
evidence of his passion.

I reached up, gliding
my hands against his warm chest, feeling a sudden urge to take my turn in
tasting him. I slid my hands around to his back and pulled him down towards me,
lifting my head to kiss the muscled planes of his chest. My tongue crept out to
taste his warm flesh and his muscles jumped reflexively, encouraging me to
continue. He groaned when my hands drifted lower to cup the hard length that
was clearly evident through his jeans.

“Not so fast,” he
said, catching my hands in his and moving them off. “If you keep that up I
won’t be able to take my time.”

I pouted, wanting
to touch him at my leisure, but that thought was soon forgotten when he pushed
the heel of his hand between my legs. The pressure of it against my aching core
made me lift my hips to push against it. I wanted more.

“I can already
tell you’re wet,” he said, his voice thick with desire. “I can’t wait to taste
you.”

His words were
almost too much to bear, and I had to refrain from begging him to hurry as he
unbuttoned my jeans and slowly unzipped them. I eagerly helped him pull them off
so that I was wearing nothing but my panties.

I gasped when he
trailed his thumb down the thin strip of fabric between my legs before letting
it drift back up until it was on my swollen clit. I cried out when he pressed
against it, teasing me. I pushed down against his thumb and bucked my hips,
desperate for more.

“Please,” I
moaned, not really aware of what I was saying. “I need more.”

“Shh,” he said as
if I were a wild animal he was trying to soothe. “All in good time.” He
anchored my hips against the bed with one hand so that I couldn’t shift while
he continued his pleasurable torment. I mewled when he flicked his thumb
against my engorged bud. I wanted him to never stop, yet at the same time, I
didn’t know how much more teasing I could take.

I almost sobbed in
relief when he lowered his head and took my throbbing clit into his mouth,
sucking on it through the satiny fabric of my panties. I wasn’t able to make
any sound at all when he pushed the fabric aside and I finally felt his hot
mouth on my bare flesh.

I grabbed the
covers, and my hands fisted the fabric as my body arched off the bed. Logan pulled
down my panties so that I was completely naked, and then wasted no time in
burying his head between my legs again.

I made a choked
sound, and my head thrashed restlessly from side to side as his tongue swept up
the length of my cleft and then down again. When he pushed his tongue into my
wetness, he had to pin my hips against the bed because my body was undulating
so wildly.

His mouth moved up
again to focus on my swollen and aching clit, and I felt the pressure of a finger
pushing inside me. I was lost in the moment, my existence nothing more than a mess
of sensations that were pleasurable almost to the point of pain.

“Logan,” I called
out desperately when I felt him push another finger inside me as he continued
to lave and suck at my clit. I didn’t want him to stop but I also didn’t know
how much more I could take.

He thrust his
fingers in and out of me as the pressure of his mouth increased. He paid no
attention to me calling out his name. I didn’t even know if he heard me. He was
too intent on what he was doing, and I doubted anything could stop him.

Just when I
thought I couldn’t take anymore, the tension that was mounting inside me
snapped, and I cried out as waves of sharp pleasure wracked my body. Logan
continued to use his mouth and hands on me as my body shuddered unrelentingly.
I didn’t know how much time had passed when my body collapsed against the bed
as the last of the sensations ebbed away, leaving me feeling weak and boneless.

Logan finally
lifted himself and moved up, his expression full of pure male satisfaction and
open lust. His mouth and chin gleamed from my wetness and I found it intensely
erotic when he caught my lips in a deep kiss. Tasting myself on him made even
more wetness flood between my legs, and I was surprised that I could still be
so aroused after the intense climax I had just experienced.

I was eager to
pleasure him as much as he had just pleasured me, so I moved my hands down to
undo his jeans. He obliged by helping me take his jeans and underwear off until
he was completely naked. I remembered the way my eyes had widened, partly in
admiration and partly in fear, when I had first seen him naked so many years
ago. Even now, he was still the largest man I had ever been with, and it was
with some amazement that I stroked his length, reveling in its velvety hardness.
I was rewarded by his shaft jerking in response, and I made a move to lower
myself, wanting to taste him just like he had tasted me.

“Later,” Logan
said, his voice hoarse. “Right now I need to be inside you.”

I opened my mouth
to object, but all that came out was a whimper when I felt the head of his hard
length pushing against my softness. Despite the pleasure that went through me,
I had a moment’s hesitation.

“Uh, I’m not sure
it’s going to fit,” I said, flushing in embarrassment. Logan let out a choked
laugh.

“I promise I’ll
take it slow,” he said gruffly. “Just let me set the pace.”

I moaned as he
slid the head of his erection up and down against my wet cleft, making me arch
my hips to meet him. On a stroke down, he stopped and pushed gently against my
entrance until the head of his erection was just inside me. I was growing
impatient and I raised my hips higher, urging him on. More of his length pushed
inside me, and I gasped, partly in pleasure and partly because of how stretched
I felt. His arms were strained as he held himself above me, and he closed his
eyes, his teeth gritted. When he opened them again, he looked faintly amused
despite the harsh desire on his face.

“I thought I was
setting the pace. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t care,” I
said, desperate to be filled by him. “I need you inside me.”

Logan made a sound
that was a cross between a curse and prayer, and he pushed deeper inside, losing
the internal battle to take it slow. Even though I was wet and ready for him,
it was still uncomfortable as he pushed me to my limits, and I couldn’t
suppress a small sound of pain. Logan froze, his jaw clenched as he look down
at me, his expression strained.

“Shit, I’m sorry.
Are you okay?”

As I looked up at
him, I felt like my heart was going to burst with emotions I couldn’t contain
any longer. I didn’t know whether it was wrong or right, but at that moment I
knew I couldn’t lie to myself any longer. Logan could never be just a friend to
me. I cared about him too deeply, and I couldn’t imagine feeling this way with
any other man. I wanted to blurt out that I loved him, but I stopped myself.
Even with the emotions running through me, I knew those were words I could
never take back and I couldn’t trust that they were actually true or if I was
just caught up in the moment. I reassured myself that there would be plenty of
time later to figure out my feelings.

“I’m fine,” I said
with a teary smile, feeling a little foolish for getting so emotional.

“Then what’s
wrong?” he asked, his expression becoming even more concerned when he saw the
overflowing emotions that I couldn’t contain. “I must be hurting you.” He made
a move to pull out which was the last thing I wanted. I stopped him by grabbing
his waist.

“You’re not
hurting me. I’m just really happy right now,” I confessed. I reached up to
stroke the tense line of his jaw. “You make me happy.”

Logan groaned in
response, and he bucked his hips forward, seemingly almost involuntarily, and pushed
himself deeper inside me. I gasped and wrapped my legs around his waist, opening
myself completely to him, urging him on. He shuddered as he sank deeper until
he was completely sheathed inside me. It took me a moment to get used to the
feeling of him completely filling me, then an instinctive need took over, and I
shifted my hips restlessly. He took that as his cue and slowly pulled out
almost completely before thrusting into me again.

My back bowed
sharply, and soon I was aware of nothing but the intense, driving pleasure
between my legs. Logan was relentless as he plunged into me again and again,
gripping my hips almost painfully as he held them captive for his endless
thrusts. Nothing existed except the sounds of our mating and the pure pleasure
coursing through my body.

Logan moved one
hand to stroke my clit and that sensation coupled with his hard shaft invading
my softness over and over again was too much and I felt myself spiral out of
control again. I choked out his name as my body convulsed with an intense
orgasm that seemed to last forever.

Through the haze
of sensations, I heard him say my name and then I felt him spasm inside me as
he found his own release. I opened my eyes to watch him, drinking in the sight
of his strained face and clenched jaw as his body shuddered above me.