Reclaiming Angelica

Reclaiming Angelica

Copyright © March 2013 by Zena Wynn

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eISBN 9781623002602

Editor: Maryam Salim

Cover Artist: Mina Carter

Published in the United States of America

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A sound woke him. The door? Did someone leave?

Raul listened harder. A sob. Someone was crying.

He wasn’t supposed to get out of bed once Momma tucked him
in, but who was crying? It didn’t sound like Momma.

Poppa?

He raised his hands and knuckled his eyes clear of the
sleepiness. Grabbing his stuffed puppy—Momma said they couldn’t have a real
dog, not in the apartment, and bought him Ruffy instead—he climbed out of bed
and stepped lightly to the door. Maybe if he was really quiet, Momma wouldn’t
catch him, and he could find out who was crying and hop back into bed before
she noticed he’d gotten up.

Poppa told Momma to leave his door cracked so the light from
the hall could shine inside because Raul didn’t like the dark. He was too old
to be scared of the dark. Only babies were afraid of the dark, and he was a big
boy. Momma said so because he was starting school next year.

Raul peeped through the door, but couldn’t see anything. It
sounded like the noise was coming from the living room.

He eased down the carpeted hallway to the living room, his
bare feet making no sound, dragging Ruffy by his tattered ears. Poppa knelt on
the floor, his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking like they did when he
laughed. This didn’t sound like laughter to him.

Raul glanced around but didn’t see Momma anywhere.
Cautiously, he eased forward and laid a tentative hand on his poppa’s big
shoulder. “Poppa?”

Poppa didn’t hear him.

Warily, he glanced around again. Where’s Momma? It wasn’t
like Poppa to be alone.

Momma was always here, especially at night. She laughed and
said Poppa didn’t like her going out after dark because he was scared something
bad would happen to her. Raul didn’t think Poppa was scared of anything. He was
so strong and so big, but Momma said there were different types of scared. That
this scared was okay because it meant Poppa loved her and didn’t want anything
bad happening to her.

Feeling a little scared, Raul patted Poppa’s shoulder, a bit
insistently this time. “Poppa, where’s Momma?”

His father jerked and turned swiftly, startling Raul so bad
he dropped Ruffy and staggered back before falling hard onto his bottom.

“Raul,” his Poppa said, not sounding like Poppa at all. His
voice was jagged, his face wet with tears, and his skin red and blotchy.

Poppa reached out and grabbed him, pulling him into a hug.
Poppa held him so tight it was hard to breathe. Not knowing what else to do,
Raul patted Poppa on the head, the way Poppa sometimes did to him when he fell
and hurt himself and cried.

Raul still wanted to know where Momma was, but Poppa’s big
shoulders were shaking again, and the side of his neck where Poppa’s face was
buried was wet.

After a long time, when it was all Raul could do not to
wiggle his way free, Poppa’s shoulders finally stopped shaking. When Poppa
finally lifted his head, he looked so sad, so unPoppa-like, that Raul’s chest
hurt. “Poppa, where’s Momma?”

“She left.”

Raul’s forehead wrinkled. “She went to the store? But Momma
said you don’t like for her to go out at night.”

A single tear leaked out of Poppa’s eye, trailed down his
cheek to splash on Raul’s hand. “She’s not at the store, son. She’s gone.”

“Where did she go?” Raul asked curiously.

Poppa squeezed his eyes shut and breathed out so deeply his
breath felt like a soft wind in Raul’s face.

Raul laid his hand on his Poppa’s bristly cheek. “Don’t be
sad, Poppa. Momma will be home soon. Nothing bad happened to her.”

“Oh God! Oh God!” His Poppa hugged him tight again, rocking
with him so that his feet left the carpet. Slowly Poppa lowered him to the
floor and cupped both of Raul’s cheeks with his huge hands. “Raul, listen to
me, son. Momma’s not coming back.”

Raul tried to understand. “Did Grammaw Pauline get sick
again?”

Once when he was little, Momma went to stay with her momma
because she was sick and didn’t have anyone to take care of her. Momma wouldn’t
let Raul go with her because she said Grammaw Pauline needed lots and lots of
attention. Raul was sad, but then Poppa took him to see his uncles, and he had
lots of fun, running in the woods and playing with the dogs. That was the first
time Raul had met Poppa’s brothers.

“No, son.” His Poppa swallowed hard, like he had something
in his throat. “Your grandma’s not sick. Remember our secret?”

Raul thought. “The one when you became a big doggie?” he
asked with wide eyes.

“Yes, that one. Momma found out and…” His Poppa’s voice made
a squeaky sound, and he stopped, blinked a few times before continuing, “And—”

“Was she excited like me?” Raul interrupted. He’d been
crying because Momma said he couldn’t have a dog, and he really, really, really
wanted a puppy. They were so cute and fluffy, and they liked to lick your face.
His friend Bobby had a puppy, and Raul wanted one too. Poppa had caught him crying
and had shown him this really neat trick he could do, but he made him promise
not to tell
anyone
, not even Momma.
Which was really, really hard, but Poppa said it was important and that he was
counting on him. That Momma wouldn’t love him anymore if she knew.

“No, son. She wasn’t excited. She was angry. Very, very
angry. So angry she left us, and she’s not coming back.”

“But…” Raul didn’t understand. Mommas weren’t supposed to
leave.

“She said she didn’t love me, didn’t love us anymore,
because of our secret,” Poppa said.

“Not love us? Mommas always love their sons, and you, Poppa.
No matter what. She said so,” Raul argued.

Poppa dropped his hands from Raul’s cheeks and closed his
eyes again. “Dear God, how do I make him understand? He’s so young.” Poppa
opened his eyes and laid a hand on Raul’s shoulder. “We’re special, Raul, you
and I.”

“How Poppa?”

“You know how I can turn into a wolf?” his Poppa asked.

“The big doggie?” he asked, not sure what a wolf was.

His Poppa nodded. “My brothers, your uncles can too. And one
day, when you’re older, you’ll be able to do it too.”

“
Really
?” Raul was
awed, all thoughts of Momma temporarily forgotten.

“Yes. But Raul, some people, people like Momma, don’t like
people who are special. They’re scared of them, of us, because we can do things
they can’t,” his Poppa tried to explain.

Raul scrunched his face. “Momma’s not scared, Poppa.” Then
his face brightened, and he smiled. “Maybe when Momma’s not mad anymore, she’ll
come home.”

Poppa sometimes left when he got really angry. Momma always
said Poppa was “cooling off.” Raul wasn’t sure what being hot had to do with
anything, but maybe this time Momma was the one “cooling off.”

“Maybe, son.” Poppa didn’t sound like he believed it, but
he’d see.

But Momma never did. Raul waited a long, long time. School
started, and there was Halloween where he ate so much candy he got sick, and
Thanksgiving where Poppa cooked a big turkey and his uncles came to visit.

When Christmas came, Poppa took Raul to his uncles’ home in
the woods. Raul loved visiting his uncles, even though they didn’t look much
like Poppa. His friend Bobby had a brother that was bigger than him, and they
looked a lot a like.

Raul had asked Poppa how come. Poppa explained that his
uncles were pack, not blood brothers like Bobby and his brother, but they loved
each other like family and took care of each other. Poppa said he was the
oldest, and biggest, but Uncle Max was big too, like the football players Poppa
watched on TV. Uncle Max’s skin was dark, and he looked mean, but he made Raul
laugh. Uncle Dillion had yellow hair and was really, really tall. Raul liked
sitting up on his shoulders. It made him feel he was on top of the world. Uncle
Joey, the youngest, was his favorite. His hair was black like Poppa’s, but his
eyes were gray, not brown, and he could play a really long time.

They went walking in the woods and chopped down a big
Christmas tree. It was bigger than Poppa, and Raul got to pick it out. Then
they decorated it and filled the bottom with presents. So many presents all he
could do was stare.

Christmas morning, Raul was up before the sun, opening his
presents while Poppa, Uncle Joey, Uncle Dillion, and Uncle Max laughed. His
uncles cooked a huge breakfast, and then they went out and played in the snow.
His uncles turned into dogg—wolves, Poppa said they were wolves—played chase,
and hide-and-seek, and had snowball fights until his nose was red and running
and his hands burned. Then they ate a huge supper.

After Raul took his bath and dressed for bed, Poppa came
into his room and talked for a long time. He spoke of wolves, and alphas, and
mates, and responsibility to the pack.

“Do you understand what I’m saying, son?” Poppa asked.

Raul bit his lower lip and nodded slowly.

Poppa sighed. Then he brushed the hair back off Raul’s
forehead and smiled. Not the big smiles he used to give before Momma left, but
a small one that tilted his lips and crinkled his eyes.

“Listen closely, son. This is important. Pack is family.
Some packs are small, like your uncles and I. Some packs are big, having lots
of brothers and sisters. Packs live together, love each other, and take care of
each other.”

“Like Uncle Max and Uncle Dillion and Uncle Joey?”

“Yes, exactly like your uncles do. Each pack, each family
has a person that’s in charge. This person is usually the biggest, the
strongest, and the smartest.”

“Like you, Poppa?”

Poppa’s face looked sad again. “Like me. That person is
called the alpha. The alpha is like…” His father broke off, staring off into
space.

He gazed curiously up into Poppa’s face, waiting for him to
continue.

“…an alpha is like an older big brother. He protects his
younger brothers and sisters, and tells them what to do. His job is to keep the
family safe. Their needs come before his own.” Poppa stared down into his eyes,
very serious. His father placed his meaty hands on Raul’s shoulders and said,
“One day, Raul, you’ll be an alpha.”