Obsession (Endurance) (7 page)

I
listened to him blathering with half my brain, a polite but distant smile on my
face. 

All
of my true thoughts were focused on Hyde. 

I
felt like an idiot.  Like I was just too stupid to figure out that the
person living in my house, protecting me day and night – the person I had
fallen in love with – was not one person but two. 

I
wasn’t angry with them.  I guess I was disappointed.  All this time
I’d thought of Hyde as my friend.  I had allowed myself to think maybe I
was more than a job.  Not being trusted with something so elemental proved
me wrong.  I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t admit how much that
hurt. 

So
I played cheerful; pulling out the persona I’d always shown the world around me
and shined it brightly on everyone in the room.  I laughed and pretended,
gave a brittle smile when Adam flirted, went over work I had to do with Padme,
and asked my parents about visitors and upcoming events. 

“We
have a few events coming up, Ellie.  We could go shopping.  Spend all
day going from store to store and spend astronomical amounts of money on
clothes, shoes, accessories.”

“That
would be great, Mom.  Sure, whenever you want.” 

My
bodyguards exchanged glances with my mother and I realized I’d gone too
far.  It was a well known fact that I hated shopping. 
Loathed it
,
in fact.  I used the Internet, ordering off-the-rack jeans, underwear,
shoes, and all the books I could want; refusing to shop unless my life depended
on it. 

Mom
had a woman on retainer who came to take my measurements and created my formal
gowns then arrived at the house to fit me for them.  Hastily I added, “I
can learn to like shopping, Mom.  Maybe I didn’t give it a fair shot.”

Unconvinced,
my bodyguards frowned at me. 

My
mom frowned at me. 

My
doctor frowned at me. 

Adam
was smiling like a half-wit.  I sighed and wondered why I couldn’t find
the young man attractive.  On an analytical level I recognized he was
physically attractive but even considering him sitting to watch a movie annoyed
me.  I pictured him taller and buffer with a gun in his hand. 
Slightly better but he didn’t look comfortable holding it.

I
am disgustingly pathetic.

When
the soft casts were in place, they lifted me to a sitting position and I sighed. 
“Better.  Not so rigid and I can actually scratch when an itch gets too
bad.” 

I
allowed Adam to help me off the table and into my new chair.  He seemed to
give me a little squeeze before letting me go and I almost hit him in the
face. 

The
bodyguards sensed it and tensed.  Instead, I gave him a grim smile that
caused Padme to hiss at him.  He didn’t notice; he thought it was a
bonafide
I think you’re awesome
smile.  God save me from men. 
A couple of test runs and I had the hang of the new chair. 

When
Mom opened the door, I went through it like a shot and headed for the
elevator.  I beat my mom and stunned staff there.  Only because I’d
taken them by surprise.  “Ha!  I
like
this chair.  I
don’t feel like a weak loser.  Food, I need food.”  They followed me
in and Hyde took up positions on either side of me. 

Padme
and my mother had their heads bent together in the hall and I felt powerless
again.  My freedom, my choices, were all an illusion.  I rubbed my
temple with a sigh. 

“It’s
going to be alright, Ellie.”  It was one of the Hydes who spoke but I
didn’t know which one. 

I
shook my head and plastered the fake smile back on my face for my mother’s
benefit.  When I made it downstairs, my mom’s friend Zoe was in the study
with a beautiful mastiff puppy that sat perfectly still until I held out my
hand. 

When
she approached my chair and laid her big head on my lap, I couldn’t help the
happy tears.  “Hey there, pretty girl.”  I ran my palm over her silky
head and she gave a pleased huff. 

Zoe
knelt in front of me and I struggled for something fake and cheerful to say
something to the woman I’d always considered my aunt. 

She
said to my mother, “Monica, give Ellie and I a few minutes, alright?” 

To
my shock, the entire team and my mom withdrew to the hall.  The older
redhead never took her bright blue eyes off my face.  The moment I heard
the door close, my smile fell and I buried my face in my hands. 

“Ellie,
sweet Ellie.  Get it all out before you choke on it, honey.”  She
gathered me in her arms and said nothing as I cried for everything I would
never have and my inability to change it at all.

When
I had nothing left, she pulled back and wiped my face with tissues from the
side table.  Pulling a chair closer, she held my hand in both of hers. 
The puppy returned her head to my lap, staring up at me with no expectations,
just unconditional puppy love. 

“Thank
you for bringing her, Zoe.  I think she’ll help me.  What should I
name her?”

“Her
official name with the AKC is Lady Godiva of Elysian Fields.  I’ve been
calling her Diva.”

“You
knew?”

She
stroked her palm over my face as she had when I was little.  “Animals are
excellent for healing, Ellie.  They expect nothing and give so much in
return.  I thought, when she was born, that her gentle nature would match
yours perfectly.”  Zoe reached down to scratch Diva behind the ear. 

“She’s
taken to her training wonderfully and isn’t rough.”  Glancing up and
meeting my eyes, she added quietly, “She won’t give you any trouble with a
little one in the house.” 

I
stared at her, wanting to explain but should have known it wasn’t
necessary. 

“Ellie,
I have loved you like my own since you were born and my best friend in all the
world broke down in happiness.  You know my children were almost fully grown
then and you filled the empty nest syndrome for me.  Over the years, I’ve
watched Monica’s fear for you grow.  Your attack strikes at the heart of
everything your parents love most in the world.  They would give up money,
possessions, or position to keep you safe and happy.  I know that love and
fear can suffocate sometimes, honey.  I know.”

I
shook my head and whispered, “I’m ungrateful.”

“You
are
human
, Ellie.  You are also a young woman who has lived much
like Rapunzel – sheltered from the world even as you long to see it…to
experience it.”  She took my chin in her hand and lifted my face. 
“You will be an
excellent
mother, Ellie.” 

Tears
filled her eyes and overflowed.  “I am so sorry for everything you went
through but so
proud
of how you are handling it.  Anything else,
everything else, will fall into place.  Don’t stop believing in your own
happy ending, alright?”

The
first genuine smile crossed my face and I nodded as she kissed my cheeks. 
“Now, let’s get some food then I’ll take you through Diva’s training.” 
She stood with a sharp whistle and the doors opened, my mother and my team
watching me carefully.

With
one hand stroking her back, I told them, “This is Diva.  The newest member
of my fam…my team.  Each of you will have to get to know her but I’ll make
sure she doesn’t bother anyone.”

The
Hyde men approached and knelt on either side of the large puppy.  As one,
they reached out to pet and scratch her until she was practically
melting. 

I
am jealous of a dog.

“Strong
yet gentle.  She’ll fit right in with her owner.”  Again, I couldn’t
tell which of the men had spoken but the words affected me deeply.  I
stared at my lap as one of them stepped behind my chair to push me manually,
bending to say close to my ear, “Freedom can always be arranged, Ellie. 
You can’t take off without us again.  Alright?”  I nodded. 

He
stood and pushed me to the dining room, the other Hyde walking at one side of
my chair and Diva on the other with an occasional exuberant puppy bounce.

As
we settled for lunch, the Hydes sat on either side of me, something they’d
never done before.  My face felt warm but I ignored it.  I felt Diva
rest her head on the top of my foot under the table.  For a little while,
my extremely unusual life felt almost normal.

If
I stared at the sparkle of my water glass and allowed my eyes to unfocus, I
could see them both in my peripheral vision.  Part of me – the young and
foolish part – imagined they were mine. 

I
shook off the daydream and ate as much as I could of the baby greens and salmon
placed in front of me.  I drank the cup of herbal tea Si brought me. 
I dealt with the pain and pretended it didn’t cause sweat to break out over my
body. 

When
it became too bad to hide from my mother, I announced that I was exhausted, and
let my team take me back to my suite.  I laid down, too tired to fight
sleep anymore, and coaxed Diva up to lay beside me.  She was warm and soft
so I stroked her coat and concentrated on the sound of her deep breathing until
my eyes finally closed and I found temporary relief.

I
dreamed of the first time my thoughts about Hyde changed from a girl’s crush to
a full-fledged woman’s obsession. 

The
first time my team moved into my space, the penthouse in LA after my first attack,
it was a culture shock.  Especially when it came to my personal
bodyguard. 

Having
a man like Hyde sleep near me was…distracting.  I was so young and
completely stupid when it came to the opposite sex.  My body wanted him,
my mind had no idea how to make that happen. 

One
night, I heard the bathroom shower in the main hall as I was getting
milk.  When I passed it on the way back to my room, I realized the door
was open slightly. 

In
the mirror over the sink, I saw Hyde’s back beneath the water.  My hand
tightened on the glass I held and I stopped.  I watched the muscles move
while he washed his hair. 

I
knew I should look away.  I knew it was wrong of me to watch him when he
wasn’t aware.  I tensed to take a step and froze as he leaned against the
shower wall on his forearm and stroked his hand down his abs to fist his
cock.  Every cell in my body sparked to life and I realized only an
outside force could have moved me.

I
was incapable on my own.

I
had never seen anything so sensual, so raw, and I was spellbound.  For
almost a minute, I watched him stroke the shaft with long pulls and saw when he
neared orgasm.  I watched his body tense, his legs lock, his motions speed
up as semen spattered to the floor of the shower and down the drain.  His
head dropped back on his shoulders and his rough exhale echoed through the
small room.  I was breathing so fast, I worried I would hyperventilate and
my heart felt like it was going to slam through my sternum.

As
he straightened, I slid along the wall to my bedroom.  Beneath the covers
again, I touched myself everywhere…remembering.

Coming
awake years later in my parents’ home after all that had happened, the dream
dissipated and left me aching for touch.  I rolled to my side and gently
petted my dog until I drifted back to sleep.  I didn’t bother wiping away
the tears.

August
- September

We
settled back into a routine of sorts and I behaved every day as if nothing had
changed, as if nothing of importance had happened. 

It
was eating me alive on the inside.

I
had morning tests with Theresa.  She checked my mobility while Padme and
Bianca stayed at my side and monitored my pregnancy closely. 

I
had breakfast downstairs with my parents and whoever else happened to be visiting. 
I brought my entire staff with me and I forced them to sit and eat. 

In
the end, I might be just an assignment to them but to me, they were the only
friends I had, and I wanted to take care of them…whether they wanted me to or
not.

I
then endured four hours with the physical therapist until I wanted to kill
myself from the pain.  Fiaaz and Si were there in case I had to be carried
back to my rooms because there were times I couldn’t even sit up in my
chair.  I was supposed to be doing two hours a day but I’d insisted on
four to push my recovery.

A
shower and long nap were usually unavoidable after the physical strain to my
body.  Bianca took over my massages since the guy my parents hired was
caught trying to take a photo of my ass during my session. 

The
Hyde brothers had to be physically restrained from ripping him limb from
limb.  It took Fiaaz and Si, as well as four guards from the outside team
to keep them on the ground while the guy was bodily thrown off the
property. 

I
usually ate a late lunch with my parents – Hyde standing just inside the door –
so they could go over business with me. 

One
or two afternoons a week, I played with Cameron – Sarah and Thadias’s
son.  We had video game marathons and tried to one-up each other on the
funniest YouTube videos we could find.  We watched movies and Cook loaded
us up on ice cream.