Obsession (Endurance) (11 page)

Robyn
gave a small laugh, “Most families do not keep a nanny such as me for eighteen
years.”

“My
parents would not have had me interview you unless you were weapons trained and
certified as a lethal weapon yourself.  That means, dear Robyn, that when
Katie no longer needs diaper changes or an after school snack, you will become
her personal bodyguard.  Everywhere she goes, you will go.  I will
pay you more than you will ever, ever make anywhere else.”

I
tilted my head and said seriously, “If anyone makes you an offer, I promise I
can and will beat it.”  Katie laughed and I grinned down at her.  I
hated that talk of self-defense was necessary.  She was just a baby. 
“She’ll begin her own training with my team but I hope you’ll incorporate
tactics in play as well.”

Robyn
nodded, “I like the way you think.”

“When
she wants to go to college, I will hire an entire team or she won’t be going. 
You will hopefully head that team, Robyn.  You look about my age so I’m
assuming diplomatic parents or perhaps military brat with a parent based
overseas.  Work for me for the next twenty or thirty years, and never
worry one day about your retirement.  I won’t let you regret it.”

Her
accent was a blend of various cultures and I loved it.  “Originally from
England, my father was based at the embassy in Jordan.  I was a
target.  I had to learn to protect myself.  It seemed natural to go
into protection as an adult.”  She was pixie cute with red hair and green
eyes.  Based on her bio, her adorable looks were completely deceiving.

“I
know what that’s like.  Get settled in and we’ll hammer out details over
the next couple of days.  Thank you, Robyn.”  I handed her my
daughter and told Katie, “Princess, get settled in and Mommy will see you in
just a bit.  Don’t play with everything at once, you’ll be exhausted,
love.”  I kissed her forehead and headed for the stairs.

On
the first floor, I grabbed my apron from the hook and bumped hips with
Si.  “What are we cooking?”  He gave me a huge smile and I felt like
I was slowly falling back into my own skin. 

Settling
back into our home, finding the rhythm again, was both pleasant and
exciting.  Things were the same and yet different.  I had Katie now
and there were
two
Hyde men.  Robyn expanded our family yet
again.  I made an announcement over the intercom an hour later that dinner
was served.

Sitting
at a long farmer table in the formal dining room, I made a toast, “To starting
fresh.”  I took a long sip of my wine and sighed in pleasure.  “And a
well-stocked wine cellar.” 

After
that, the conversations flew between the team.  I watched them happily,
content to listen and comment now and again.  With the exception of Padme,
they’d all known one another for years.  In the inter-connected world of
government agencies and private protection, they had worked together many times
before coming to work for me. 

They
trusted one another and I trusted them.

Robyn
was the first to turn in, taking the baby up in the compact elevator at the
back of the laundry room.  Fiaaz planned to go for a drive and Bianca said
she’d tag along. 

Si
and Padme were involved in a quiet discussion at the other end of the
table.  I watched their expressions and her eyes seemed to sparkle with
heat.  Undoubtedly beautiful and brilliant, it was strange that I’d never
wondered more about Padme’s sex life. 

Was
that sparkle inspired by Si?  How had I never noticed that my cook was a
virile male in his own right?  Their black hair glinted almost blue in the
light as they sat with their heads a few inches apart. 

I
watched them while I sipped my wine.  Ten minutes of silence had delivered
me into a sort of euphoric buzz.  I hadn’t consumed anything alcoholic
since before my attack.  One glass seemed to have slapped me
smartly.  Diva was casually licking the top of my foot with her big tongue.

Pulling
my gaze away, I focused on the two vibrant men on either side of me.  “I
zoned out.  Sorry.”

Jordan
and Jonas were both angled in my direction, sprawled back in their chairs with
their legs stretched out in front of them.  Jeans and t-shirts never
looked so good.  They each had a weapon strapped to their side and I was
sure there were others I didn’t see.  I could tell they’d showered before
dinner.  Their shaggy dark blonde hair was still damp on the ends.

I’d
thrown on a sundress and leather flip flops before coming down to eat but the
shoes had long since been discarded.  It was rare that I wore shoes
indoors.  I didn’t even remember where I’d kicked them off. 

“I’m
thinking
Wanted
or maybe
Blade Trinity
.  Yeah, that sounds
fabulous.”  I stood and grabbed my plate and other items that were close
to my end of the table.  One of the maids from the main house would come
in the morning to put things to rights.  I rinsed my plate and stacked it
on the counter before putting away a few things.  Hyde cleaned their plates
behind me.

Refilling
my wine glass, I headed into the family room.  My personal playroom as I
liked to call it.  Comfortable furniture made for giants, a massive
sixty-inch flat-screen, surround sound, and dim lighting with the flip of a
switch.   

I
flipped through the DVD library and chose an action movie.  Grabbing a
cashmere throw blanket, I plopped down in my favorite corner of the sectional,
and got comfortable. 

When
I was settled, the two men dropped on either side of me.  Their guns were
placed on the couch cushions beside them in easy reach and I had to laugh
inside at how much my own life resembled an action movie.

Halfway
through
Wanted
, despite it being one of my favorites, I started to nod
off.  They both offered to help me upstairs but I told them I wasn’t tired
and wanted to stay where I was.  Having them close and relaxed like this
didn’t happen often.  I wasn’t ready for it to end. 

I
don’t remember falling asleep but I must have gone out fast and hard.

My
den was dark with the exception of the screensaver on the television and at
first I wasn’t sure where I was.  I was warm,
very
warm, and
comfortable.  It hadn’t been a night terror that woke me. 

It
was the unfamiliar sense of complete safety despite the darkness.

As
my eyes adjusted to the pale light, I realized my head was lying on Jordan’s
lap.  His hands were in my hair and curled around my hip.  Jonas was
sealed to the front of my body, his arms loosely holding me to him.  I had
one arm curled around Jordan’s leg, the other curled around Jonas’s
waist. 

Even
fully dressed, I could feel the wonderful heat coming off their bodies. 
They smelled
fantastic
, like sunshine with a hint of sandalwood. 

When
the full impact of where I was and what position I was in with my two closest
bodyguards hit me, for an instant, I stiffened, unsure what to do.  They’d
obviously positioned themselves to protect me in the open space of the first
floor. 

Then
I asked myself what was wrong with enjoying a rare moment of warmth from two
human beings I both liked and trusted with everything inside myself? 
These men would
never
hurt me.  The hurt I carried around in my
heart was a result of my own immaturity and stupidity. 

I
didn’t want to let go of these sensations yet. 

Long
before my attack I was known as the untouchable ice queen.  I was too
rich, too pure, for anyone to get close to…for anyone to love.  I’d never
wanted that.  I never meant to exist apart from the rest of the
world. 

I
had always craved touch, contact…connection.

Now,
I was no longer pure and I didn’t want just
anyone
to touch me. 
Most people scared me, most touch felt foreign.  I wanted
these
men
to touch me and I so desperately wanted to touch them back.  I craved
contact with them like air.  They were
asleep
. 

Tomorrow
I could act as if this hadn’t happened. 

Right
now
though…I could soak up their warmth, their scent, and pretend – for
just a little while – that I
wasn’t
untouchable.  I could pretend I
was a different person.  The kind of person…the kind of
woman
…that
men like Jordan and Jonas would want for more than an assignment. 

So
I breathed deep, taking them into my lungs.  Every inch of me that was in
contact with them rejoiced in it.  I wanted to rub against them like a cat
but I contented myself with the experience of the muscled thigh under my cheek,
the long masculine fingers in my hair, and the very long, hard body pressed
against the front of my body. 

I
stared at Jonas for a long time.  I wanted to touch the hair that was
gilded from the sun.  To run my fingertips over lips that were almost too
sensual.  To trace the fine webbing of scars from the injuries he’d
sustained for me.  Afraid to wake him and end this, I held back.  My
arms were tucked between our bodies and I turned my palm so I could press it to
his chest.

Some
part of me should have been afraid. 

I
wasn’t afraid.  I felt drunk on touch. 

Letting
my body relax, I thought there was a slight tightening in my hair and around my
waist but I didn’t examine it too closely.  I didn’t want anything to ruin
the experience for me. 

I
fell back to sleep breathing them in and I had no nightmares.

My
house had perfect natural light.  Large windows – though filled with
bulletproof glass – allowed pre-dawn pink light to slant across the floors and
brighten every surface.  I knew what it would look like but I didn’t see
it this morning.

As
much as I loved the play of light and color, I found myself unable…okay,
unwilling…to open my eyes.  My sundress had ridden above my knees as I
slept and I could feel Jonas’s jeans-clad thigh on the skin of my inner
knee.  I wasn’t ready to give up the most amazing experience of my life;
to go back to being completely isolated in a world of billions.

There
was a light kiss on my forehead as a warm hand stroked repeatedly, hypnotically
through my hair.  “Ellie, open your eyes.”  I didn’t want to but I
forced myself to do it anyway.  I found myself staring into Jonas’s hazel
green gaze.  “Good morning, Ellie.”

I
was supposed to say something.  None of my thoughts would cooperate. 
When I’d woken during the night, Jonas’s face had been in complete
darkness.  Seeing him inches from me in the light was surreal. 
Sleep-ruffled with golden brown shadow along his jaw, he was so gorgeous that I
was in shock.  I wanted to hug him tighter.  I wanted to kiss
him.    

Jordan
said quietly from above, “No nightmares, Ellie.”  It was he who was
stroking my hair. 

“Ellie,
we would never,
ever
hurt you,” Jonas murmured softly.  His palm
was smoothing small circles on my back.  The combined effect of their
touch was euphoria. 

Please
don’t stop…don’t ever stop
.

“I
know.  I know that, Jonas.”  He gave me a small smile and moved to
get up.  I didn’t realize I’d tightened my arms around him until he did
the same.  Jordan’s warm hand slid along the side of my neck, his thumb
massaging the nape. 

I
felt my eyes growing heavy, feeling a bone-deep peace I wasn’t sure I’d ever
felt before.  I leaned forward and kissed the hollow of Jonas’s throat and
registered his soft moan an instant before I slipped back to sleep.

When
I woke the next time, the sun was higher in the sky and Padme was standing in
front of the couch, staring down at the three of us with a smile.  Before
I could figure out how to address this completely inappropriate situation, she
tucked Katie between mine and Jonas’s bodies. 

“Good
morning, Ellie.  I was going to let you sleep but the little princess had
that tiny frown between her eyes that says she isn’t altogether happy.  I
figured some mama time might fix it.  Between you she won’t roll
off.  I’m going to let you doze some more; you haven’t slept this well in
a year.  Brunch when you’re ready.” 

With
a wink and a smile, she turned and left the room.

I
glanced down at Katie’s face, smooth and happy now.  Stroking her silken
cheek, I watched as she drifted off.  The sound of her soft breathing, the
scent of the men surrounding us, and the warmth I hadn’t realized would be
exactly what I needed combined to pull me under yet again.

The
adjustment of my blanket brought me up.  Jonas was rising with Katie in
his arms.  He smiled at me, “Sleep, Ellie.  It’s still early. 
She’s wet.  I’m going to change her and get her a bottle.”

Jordan
turned and moved his legs, stretching them out along my body and pulling my
upper body higher to lie on his chest.  His hand smoothed through my hair
and down my back over and over again.  “Sleep, Ellie.”