Nights with Uncle Remus (26 page)

“W'iles all dis gwine on, ole Brer Rabbit wuz a-gallopin' 'roun' fum Funtown ter Frolicville, a-kickin' up de devilment en terrifyin' de neighborhoods. Hit keep on dis away, twel one time, endurin' de odd-come shorts,
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old Jedge B'ar sont wud dat one er his chilluns done bin tooken wid a sickness, en he ax wont ole Miss Rabbit drap 'roun' en set up wid im. Ole Miss Rabbit, she say, co'se she go, en atter she fill 'er satchy full er yerbs en truck, off she put.

“I done fergit,” said Uncle Remus, scratching his head gravely, “w'ich one er dem chilluns wuz ailin'. Hit mout er bin Kubs, en hit mout er bin Klibs; but no marter fer dat. W'en ole Miss Rabbit git dar, ole Miss B'ar wuz a-settin' up in de chimbly-cornder des a-dosin' en a-nussin' de young un; en all de wimmin er de neighborhoods wuz dar, a-whispun en a-talkin', des fer all de worl' lak wimin does deze days. It uz:

“ ‘Come right in, Sis Rabbit! I mighty proud to see you. I mighty glad you fotch yo' knittin', kaze I'm pow'ful po' comp'ny w'en my chillun sick. Des fling yo' bonnet on de bed dar. I'm dat flustrated twel I dunner w'ich een's up, skacely. Sis Wolf, han' Sis Rabbit dat rockin'-cheer dar, kaze 'taint no one step fum her house ter mine.'

“Dat de way old Miss B'ar run on,” continued Uncle Remus, “en dey set dar en dey chatter an dey clatter. Ole Brer Wolf, he 'uz settin' out on de back peazzer smokin' en noddin'. He 'ud take en draw a long whiff, he would, en den he 'ud drap off ter noddin' en let de smoke oozle out thoo he noze. Bimeby ole Sis Rabbit drap 'er knittin' in 'er lap, en sing out, sez she:

“ ‘Law, Sis B'ar! I smells ‘barker smoke,' sez she.

“Ole Sis B'ar, she jolt up de sick baby, en swap it fum one knee ter de yuther, en 'low:

“ ‘My ole man bin smokin' 'roun' yer de whole blessid day, but soon'z dish yer chile tuck sick, I des tuck'n tole 'im, sez I, fer ter take hisse'f off in de woods whar he b'long at, sez I. Yessum! I did dat! I pities any 'oman w'at 'er ole man is fe'r'verlastin' stuck 'roun' de house w'en dey's any sickness gwine on,' sez she.

“Ole Brer Wolf sot out dar on de back peazzer, en he shot one eye, he did, en open um 'g'in, en let de smoke oozle out'n he nose. Sis B'ar, she jolt de sick baby en swap it fum one knee ter de yuther. Dey sot dar en talk twel bimeby der confab sorter slack up. Fus news dey know Sis Rabbit drap 'er knittin' en fling up 'er han's en squall out:

“ ‘De gracious en de goodness! Ef I aint done come traipsin off en lef' my ole man money-pus, en he got sum'n in dar w'at he wont take a purty fer, needer! I'm dat fergitful,' sez she, ‘twel hit keep me mizerbul mighty nigh de whole time,' sez she.

“Brer Wolf, he lif' up year en open he eye, en let de smoke oozle out'n he nose. Sis B'ar, she jolt de sick baby wuss en wuss, en bimeby, she up'n say, sez she:

“ ‘I mighty glad 'taint me, dat I is,' sez she, ‘bekase ef I wuz ter lef' my ole man money-pus layin' 'roun' dat away, he'd des nat'ally rip up de planks in de flo', en t'ar all de bark off'n de trees,' sez she.

“Ole Miss Rabbit, she sot dar, she did, en she rock en study, en study en rock, en she dunner w'at ter do. Ole Sis B'ar, she jolt en jolt de baby. Ole Brer Wolf, he let de 'barker smoke oozle thoo he nose, he did, en den he open bofe eyes en lay he pipe down. Wid dat, he crope down de back steps en lit out fer Brer Rabbit house. Brer Wolf got gait same lak race-hoss, en it aint take 'im long fer ter git whar he gwine. W'en he git ter Brer Rabbit house, he pull de latch-string en open de do', en w'en he do dis, one er de little Rabs wake up, en he holler out:

“ ‘Dat you, mammy?'

“Den Brer Wolf wish he kin sing ‘Bye-O-Baby,' but fo' he kin make answer, de little Rab holler out 'g'in:

“ ‘Dat you, mammy?'

“Ole Brer Wolf know he got ter do sump'n, so he tuck'n w'isper, he did:

“ ‘Sh-sh-sh! Go ter sleep, honey. De boogers 'll git you!' en wid dat de little Rab 'gun ter whimple, en he whimple hisse'f off ter sleep.

“Den w'en it seem lak de little Rabs, w'ich dey wuz mighty nigh forty-eleven un um, is all gone ter sleep, Brer Wolf he crope 'roun', he did, en feel or de mantel-shelf, en feel, en feel, twel he come ter ole Brer Rabbit money-pus. Ef he want so light wid he han',” Uncle Remus went on, glancing quizzically at the child, “he'd a knock off de pollygollic vial w'at ole Miss Rabbit put up dar. But nummine! Brer Wolf, he feel, en feel, twel he come ter de money-pus, en he grab dat, he did, en he des flew'd away fum dar.

“W'en he git out er sight en year'n', Brer Wolf look at de money-pus, en see w'at in it. Hit 'uz one er deze yer kinder money-puz wid tossle on de een' en shiny rings in de middle. Brer Wolf look in dar fer ter see w'at he kin see. In one een' dey wuz a piece er calamus-root en some collard-seeds, en in de t'er een' dey wuz a great big rabbit foot. Dis make Brer Wolf feel mighty good, en he gallop off home wid de shorance
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un a man w'at done foun' a gol' mine.”

Here Uncle Remus paused and betrayed a disposition to drop off to sleep. The little boy, however, touched him upon the knee, and asked him what Brother Rabbit did when he found his foot was gone. Uncle Remus laughed and rubbed his eyes.

“Hit's mighty kuse 'bout Brer Rabbit, honey. He aint miss dat money-pus fer mighty long time, yit w'en he do miss it, he miss it mighty bad. He miss it so bad dat he git right-down sick, kaze he know he bleedz ter fine dat ar foot let go w'at may, let come w'at will. He study en he study, yit 'taint do no good, en he go all 'roun' 'lowin' ter hisse'f:

“ ‘I know whar I put dat foot, yit I dunner whar I lef' um; I know whar I put dat foot, yit I dunner whar I lef' um.'

“He mope en he mope 'roun'. Look lak Brer Wolf got all de luck en Brer Rabbit aint got none. Brer Wolf git fat, Brer Rabbit git lean; Brer Wolf run fas', Brer Rabbit lope heavy lak ole Sis Cow; Brer Wolf feel funny, Brer Rabbit feel po'ly. Hit keep on dis away, twel bimeby Brer Rabbit know sump'n n'er bleedz ter be done. Las' he make up he min' fer ter take a journey, en he fix up he tricks, he do, en he go en see ole Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money.”

“And who was old Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, Uncle Remus?” the little boy inquired.

“Ah-yi!” exclaimed Uncle Remus, in a tone of triumph, “I know'd w'en I fotch dat ole creetur name up, dey want gwine ter be no noddin' 'roun' dish yer h'ath. In dem days,” he continued, “dey wuz a Witch-Rabbit, en dat wuz her entitlements—ole Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money. She live way off in a deep, dark swamp, en ef you go dar you hatter ride some, slide some; jump some, hump some; hop some, flop some; walk some, balk some; creep some, sleep some; fly some, cry some; foller some, holler some; wade some, spade some; en ef you aint monst'us keerful you aint git dar den. Yit Brer Rabbit he git dar atter so long a time, en he mighty nigh wo' out.

“He sot down, he did, fer ter res' hisse'f, en bimeby he see black smoke comin' outer de hole in de groun' whar de ole Witch-Rabbit stay. Smoke git blacker and blacker, en atter w'ile Brer Rabbit know de time done come fer 'im ter open up en tell w'at he want.”

As Uncle Remus interpreted the dialogue, Brother Rabbit spoke in a shrill, frightened tone, while the voice of the Rabbit-Witch was hoarse and oracular:

“ ‘Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, I needs yo' he'p.'

“ ‘Son Riley Rabbit, why so? Son Riley Rabbit, why so?'

“ ‘Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, I los' de foot you gim me.'

“ ‘O Riley Rabbit, why so? Son Riley Rabbit, why so?'

“ ‘Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, my luck done gone. I put dat foot down 'pon de groun'. I lef' um dar I know not whar.'

“ ‘De Wolf done tuck en stole yo' luck, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley. Go fine de track, go git hit back, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.'

“Wid dat,” continued Uncle Remus, “ole Aunt Mammy-Bammy Big-Money sucked all de black smoke back in de hole in de groun', and Brer Rabbit des put out fer home. W'en he git dar, w'at do he do? Do he go off in a cornder by hisse'f, en wipe he weepin' eye? Dat he don't—dat he don't. He des tuck'n wait he chance. He wait en he wait; he wait all day, he wait all night; he wait mighty night a mont'. He hang 'roun' Brer Wolf house; he watch en he wait.

“Bimeby, one day, Brer Rabbit git de news dat Brer Wolf des come back fum a big frolic. Brer Rabbit know he time comin', en he keep bofe ey open en bofe years h'ist up. Nex' mawnin' atter Brer Wolf git back fum de big frolic, Brer Rabbit see 'im come outer de house en go down de spring atter bucket water. Brer Rabbit, he slip up, he did, en he look in. Ole Miss Wolf, she 'uz sailin' 'roun' fryin' meat en gittin' brekkus, en dar hangin' 'cross er cheer wuz Brer Wolf wes'cut where he keep he money-pus. Brer Rabbit rush up ter do' en pant lak he mighty nigh fag out. He rush up, he did, en he sing out:

“ ‘Mawnin', Sis Wolf, mawnin'! Brer Fox sont me atter de shavin'-brush, w'ich he keep it in dat ar money-pus w'at I loant 'im.'

“Sis Wolf, she fling up 'er han's en let um drap, en she laugh en say, sez she:

“ ‘I 'clar' ter gracious, Brer Rabbit! You gimme sech a tu'n, dat I aint got room ter be perlite skacely.'

“But mos' 'fo' she git de wuds out'n 'er mouf, Brer Rabbit done grab de money-pus en gone!”

“Which way did he go, Uncle Remus?” the little boy asked, after a while.

“Well, I tell you dis,” Uncle Remus responded emphatically, “Brer Rabbit road aint lay by de spring; I boun' you dat!”

Presently 'Tildy put her head in the door to say that it was bedtime, and shortly afterward the child was dreaming that Daddy Jack was Mammy-Bammy Big-Money in disguise.

XXXI

When the little boy next visited Uncle Remus the old man was engaged in the somewhat tedious operation of making shoe-pegs. Daddy Jack was assorting a bundle of sassafras roots, and Aunt Tempy was transforming a meal-sack into shirts for some of the little negroes—a piece of economy of her own devising. Uncle Remus pretended not to see the child.

“Hit's des lak I tell you all,” he remarked, as if renewing a conversation; ‘I monst'us glad dey aint no bad chilluns on dis place fer ter be wadin' in de spring-branch, en flingin' mud on de yuther little chilluns, w'ich de goodness knows dey er nasty 'nuff bidout dat. I monst'us glad dey aint none er dat kinder young uns 'roun' yer—I is dat.”

“Now, Uncle Remus,” exclaimed the little boy, in an injured tone, “somebody's been telling you something on me.”

The old man appeared to be very much astonished.

“Heyo! what you bin hidin', honey? Yer 'tis mos' way atter supper en you aint in de bed yit. Well—well—well! Sit over ag'in de chimbly jam dar whar you kin dry dem shoes. En de ve'y nex' time w'at I see you wadin' in dat branch, wid de sickly season comin' on, I'm a gwine ter take you 'cross my shoulder en kyar you ter Miss Sally, en ef dat aint do no good, den I'll kyar you ter Mars. John, en ef dat aint do no good, den I'm done wid you, so dar now!”

The little boy sat silent a long time, listening to the casual talk of Uncle Remus and his guests, and watching the vapor rise from his wet shoes. Presently there was a pause in the talk, and the child said:

“Uncle Remus, have I been too bad to hear a story?”

The old man straightened himself up and pushed his spectacles back on his forehead.

“Now, den, folks, you year w'at he say. Shill we pursue on atter de creeturs? Shill er shant?”

“Bless yo' soul, Brer Remus, I mos' 'shame' myse'f, yit I tell you de Lord's trufe, I'm des ez bad atter dem ar tales ez dat chile dar.”

“Well, den,” said Uncle Remus, “a tale hit is. One time dey wuz a man, en dish yer man he had a gyardin. He had a gyardin, en he had a little gal fer ter min' it. I don't speck dish yer gyardin wuz wide lak Miss Sally gyadin, but hit 'uz lots longer. Hit 'uz so long dat it run down side er de big road, 'cross by de plum thicket, en back up de lane. Dish yer gyardin wuz so nice en long dat it tuck'n 'track de 'tention er Brer Rabbit; but de fence wuz built so close en so high, dat he can't git in nohow he kin fix it.”

“Oh, I know about that!” exclaimed the little boy. “The man catches Brother Rabbit and ties him, and the girl lets him loose to see him dance.”

Uncle Remus dropped his chin upon his bosom. He seemed to be humbled.

“Sis Tempy,” he said, with a sigh, “you'll hatter come in some time w'en we aint so crowded, en I'll up en tell 'bout Billy Malone en Miss Janey.”

“
That
wasn't the story I heard, Uncle Remus,” said the little boy. “
Please
tell me about Billy Malone and Miss Janey.”

“Ah-yi!” exclaimed Uncle Remus, with a triumphant smile; “I 'low'd maybe I wa'n't losin' de use er my 'membunce, en sho nuff I aint. Now, den, we'll des wuk our way back en start fa'r en squar'. One time dey wuz a man, en dish yer man he had a gyardin en a little gal. De gyardin wuz chock full er truck, en in de mawnin's, w'en de man hatter go off, he call up de little gal, he did, en tell 'er dat she mus' be sho en keep ole Brer Rabbit outer de gyardin. He tell 'er dis eve'y mawnin'; but one mawnin' he tuck en forgit it twell he git ter de front gate, en den he stop en holler back:

“ ‘O Janey! You Janey! Min' w'at I tell you 'bout ole Brer Rabbit. Don't you let 'im get my nice green peas.'