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Authors: Joel Chandler Harris

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XXIII
Mr. Man Has Some Meat
The little boy sat watching Uncle Remus sharpen his shoe-knife. The old man's head moved in sympathy with his hands, and he mumbled fragments of a song. Occasionally he would feel of the edge of the blade with his thumb, and then begin to sharpen it again. The comical appearance of the venerable darkey finally had its effect upon the child, for suddenly he broke into a hearty peal of laughter; whereupon Uncle Remus stopped shaking his head and singing his mumbly-song, and assumed a very dignified attitude. Then he drew a long, deep breath, and said:
“W'en folks git ole en strucken wid de palsy, dey mus' speck ter be laff'd at. Goodness knows, I bin use ter dat sence de day my whiskers 'gun to bleach.”
“Why, I wasn't laughing at you, Uncle Remus; I declare I wasn't,” cried the little boy. “I thought maybe you might be doing your head like Brother Rabbit did when he was fixing to cut his meat.”
Uncle Remus' seriousness was immediately driven away by a broad and appreciative grin.
“Now, dat de way ter talk, honey, en I boun' you wan't fur wrong, n'er, kaze fer all dey'll tell you dat Brer Rabbit make he livin' 'long er nibblin' at grass en greens, hit 'twan't dat away in dem days, 'kaze I got in my membunce right now de 'casion whar Brer Rabbit is tuck'n e't meat.”
The little boy had learned that it was not best to make any display of impatience, and so he waited quietly while Uncle Remus busied himself with arranging the tools on his shoe-bench. Presently the old man began:
“Hit so happen dat one day Brer Rabbit meet up wid Brer Fox, en w'en dey 'quire atter der corporosity, dey fine out dat bofe un um mighty po'ly. Brer Fox, he 'low, he do, dat he monstus hongry, en Brer Rabbit he 'spon' dat he got a mighty hankerin' atter vittles hisse'f. Bimeby dey look up dey big road, en dey see Mr. Man comin' 'long wid a great big hunk er beef und' he arm. Brer Fox he up'n 'low, he did, dat he lak mighty well fer ter git a tas'e er dat, en Brer Rabbit he 'low dat de sight er dat nice meat all lineded wid taller is nuff fer ter run a body 'stracted.
“Mr. Man he come en he come 'long. Brer Rabbit en Brer Fox dey look en dey look at 'im. Dey wink der eye en der mouf water. Brer Rabbit he 'low he bleedz ter git some er dat meat. Brer Fox he 'spon', he did, dat it look mighty fur off ter him. Den Brer Rabbit tell Brer Fox fer ter foller 'long atter 'im in hailin' distuns, an wid dat he put out, he did, en 'twan't long 'fo' he kotch up wid Mr. Man.
“Dey pass de time er day, en den dey went joggin' 'long de road same lak dey 'uz gwine 'pun a journey. Brer Rabbit he keep on snuffin' de a'r. Mr. Man up'n ax 'im is he got a bad cole, en Brer Rabbit 'spon' dat he smell sump'n' w'ich it don't smell like ripe peaches. Bimeby, Brer Rabbit 'gun to hol' he nose, he did, an atter w'ile he sing out:
“ ‘Gracious en de goodness, Mr. Man! hit's dat meat er yone.
Phew!
Whar'bouts is you pick up dat meat at?'
“Dis make Mr. Man feel sorter 'shame hisse'f, en ter make marters wuss, yer come a great big green fly a-zoonin' 'roun'. Brer Rabbit he git way off on ter side er de road, en he keep on hol'in' he nose. Mr. Man, he look sorter sheepish, he did, en dey aint gone fur 'fo' he put de meat down on de side er de road, en he tuck'n ax Brer Rabbit w'at dey gwine do 'bout it. Brer Rabbit he 'low, he did:
“ ‘I year tell in my time dat ef you take'n drag a piece er meat thoo' de dus' hit'll fetch back hits freshness. I aint no superspicious man myse'f,' sezee, ‘en I aint got no 'speunce wid no sech doin's, but dem w'at tell me say dey done try it. Yit I know dis,' says Brer Rabbit, sezee—‘I know dat 'taint gwine do no harm, kase de grit w'at gits on de meat kin be wash off,” sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.
“ ‘I ain't got no string,' sez Mr. Man, sezee.
“Brer Rabbit laff hearty, but still he hol' he nose.
“ ‘Time you bin in de bushes long ez I is, you won't miss strings,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee.
“Wid dat Brer Rabbit lipt out, en he aint gone long 'fo he come hoppin' back wid a whole passel er bamboo vines all tied tergedder. Mr. Man, he 'low:
“ ‘Dat line mighty long.'
“Brer Rabbit he 'low:
“ ‘Tooby sho', you want de win' fer ter git 'twix' you en dat meat.'
“Den Mr. Man tuck'n tied de bamboo line ter de meat. Brer Rabbit he broke off a 'simmon bush, he did, en 'low dat he'd stay behime en keep de flies off. Mr. Man he go on befo' en drag de meat, en Brer Rabbit he stay behime, he did, en take keer un it.”
Here Uncle Remus was compelled to pause and laugh before he could proceed with the story.
“En he is take keer un it, mon—dat he is. He tuck'n git 'im a rock, en w'iles Mr. Man gwine 'long bidout lookin' back, he ondo de meat en tie de rock ter de bamboo line, en w'en Brer Fox foller on, sho' 'nuff, dar lay de meat. Mr. Man, he drug de rock, he did, en Brer Rabbit he keep de flies off, twel atter dey gone on right smart piece, en den w'en Mr. Man look 'roun', whar wuz ole man Rabbit?
“Bless yo' soul, Brer Rabbit done gone back en jine Brer Fox, en he wuz des in time, at dat, 'kase little mo' en Brer Fox would 'a' done bin outer sight en yearin'. En so dat de way Brer Rabbit git Mr. Man meat.”
The little boy reflected a little, and then said:
“Uncle Remus, wasn't that stealing?”
“Well, I tell you 'bout dat, honey,” responded the old man, with the air of one who is willing to compromise. “In dem days de creeturs bleedz ter look out fer deyse'f, mo' speshually dem w'at aint got hawn an' huff. Brer Rabbit aint got no hawn an' huff, en he bleedz ter be he own lawyer.”
Just then the little boy heard his father's buggy rattling down the avenue, and he ran out into the darkness to meet it. After he was gone, Uncle Remus sat a long time rubbing his hands and looking serious. Finally he leaned back in his chair, and exclaimed:
“Dat little chap gittin' too much fer ole Remus—dat he is!”
XXIV
How Brother Rabbit Got the Meat
When the little boy next visited Uncle Remus the cabin was dark and empty and the door shut. The old man was gone. He was absent for several nights, but at last one night the little boy saw a welcome light in the cabin, and he made haste to pay Uncle Remus a visit. He was full of questions:
“Goodness, Uncle Remus! Where in the world have you been? I thought you were gone for good. Mamma said she reckoned the treatment here didn't suit you, and you had gone off to get some of your town friends to hire you.”
“Is Miss Sally tell you dat, honey? Well, ef she aint de beatenes' w'ite 'oman dis side er kingdom come, you kin des shoot me. Miss Sally tuck'n writ me a pass wid her own han's fer to go see some er my kin down dar in de Ashbank settlement. Yo' mammy quare 'oman, honey, sho'!
“En yit, w'at de good er my stayin' yer? T'er night, I aint mo'n git good en started 'fo' you er up en gone, en I aint seed ha'r ner hide un you sence. W'en I see you do dat, I 'low ter my-se'f dat hit's des 'bout time fer ole man Remus fer ter pack up he duds an go hunt comp'ny some'r's else.”
“Well, Uncle Remus,” exclaimed the little boy, in a tone of expostulation, “didn't Brother Fox get the meat, and wasn't that the end of the story?”
Uncle Remus started to laugh, but he changed his mind so suddenly that the little boy was convulsed. The old man groaned and looked at the rafters with a curious air of disinterestedness. After a while he went on with great seriousness:
“I dunner w'at kinder idee folks got 'bout Brer Rabbit no-how, dat I don't. S'pozen you lays de plans so some yuther chap kin git a big hunk er goody, is you gwine ter set off some'r's en see 'im make way wid it?”
“What kind of goody, Uncle Remus?”
“Dish yer kinder goody w'at town folks keeps. Mint draps and reezins, en sweet doin's lak Miss Sally keep und' lock en key. Well, den, if you gits some er dat, er may be some yuther kinder goody, w'ich I wish 'twuz yer right dis blessid minnit, is you gwine ter set quile up in dat cheer en let n'er chap run off wid it? Dat you aint—dat you aint!”
“Oh, I know!” exclaimed the little boy. “Brother Rabbit went back and made Brother Fox give him his part of the meat.”
“Des lak I tell you, honey; dey wan't no man mungs de creeturs w'at kin stan' right flat-footed en wuk he min' quick lak Brer Rabbit. He tuck'n tie de rock on de string, stidder de meat, en he pursue long atter it, he did, twel Mr. Man tu'n a ben' in de road, en den Brer Rabbit, he des lit out fum dar—
terbuckity-buckity, buck-buck-buckity!
en 'twan't long 'fo' he tuck'n kotch up wid Brer Fox. Dey tuck de meat, dey did, en kyar'd it way off in de woods, en laid it down on a clean place on de groun'.
“Dey laid it down, dey did,” continued Uncle Remus, drawing his chair up closer to the little boy, “en den Brer Fox 'low dey better sample it, en Brer Rabbit he 'gree. Wid dat, Brer Fox he tuck'n gnyaw off a hunk, en he shut bofe eyes, he did, en he chaw en chaw, en tas'e en tas'e, en chaw en tas'e. Brer Rabbit, he watch 'im, but Brer Fox, he keep bofe eyes shot, en he chaw en tas'e, en tas'e en chaw.”
Uncle Remus not only furnished a pantomime accompaniment to this recital by shutting his eyes and pretending to taste, but he lowered his voice to a pitch of tragical significance in reporting the dialogue that ensued:
“Den Brer Fox smack he mouf en look at de meat mo' closeter, en up'n 'low:
“ ‘Brer Rabbit,
hit's lam'!'
“ ‘
No
, Brer Fox!
sho'ly not!
'
“ ‘Brer Rabbit,
hit's lam'!
'
“Brer Fox,
tooby sho'ly not!
'
“Den Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n gnyaw off a hunk, en he shot bofe eyes, en chaw en tas'e, en tas'e en chaw. Den he smack he mouf, en up'n 'low:
“ ‘Brer Fox,
hit's shote!
'
“ ‘Brer Rabbit, you foolin' me!'
“ ‘Brer Fox,
I vow hit's shote!
'
“ ‘Brer Rabbit, hit des
can't be!
'
“ ‘Brer Fox,
hit sho'ly is!
'
“Dey tas'e en dey 'spute, en dey 'spute en dey tas'e. Atter w'ile, Brer Rabbit make lak he want some water, en he rush off in de bushes, en d'reckly yer he come back wipin' he mouf en cl'erin' up he th'oat. Den Brer Fox he want some water sho' nuff:
“ ‘Brer Rabbit, whar you fin' de spring?'
“ ‘Cross de road, en down de hill en up de big gully.'
“Brer Fox, he lope off, he did, en atter he gone Brer Rabbit totch he year wid he behime foot lak he flippin' 'im good-bye. Brer Fox, he cross de road en rush down de hill, he did, yit he ain't fin' no big gully. He keep on gwine twel he fin' de big gully, yit he aint fin' no spring.
“W'iles all dish yer gwine on, Brer Rabbit he tuck'n grabble a hole in de groun', he did, en in dat hole he hid de meat. Atter he git it good en hid, he tuck'n cut 'im a long keen hick'ry, en atter so long a time, w'en he year Brer Fox comin' back he got in a clump er bushes, en tuck dat hick'ry en let in on a saplin', en ev'y time he hit de saplin', he 'ud squall out, Brer Rabbit would, des lak de patter-rollers had 'im:

Pow, pow!
‘Oh, pray, Mr. Man!'—
Pow, pow!
‘Oh, pray, Mr. Man!'—
Chippy-row, pow!
‘Oh, Lordy, Mr. Man! Brer Fox tuck yo' meat!'—
Pow!
‘Oh, pray, Mr. Man! Brer Fox tuck yo' meat!' ”
Every time Uncle Remus said
“Pow!”
he struck himself in the palm of his hand with a shoe-sole by way of illustration.
“ 'Co'se,” he went on, “w'en Brer Fox year dis kinder doin's, he fotch up, he did, en lissen, en ev'y time he year de hick'ry come down
pow!
he tuck'n grin en 'low ter hisse'f, ‘Ah-yi! you fool me 'bout de water! Ah-yi! you fool me 'bout de water!'
“Atter so long a time, de racket sorter die out, en seem lak Mr. Man wuz draggin' Brer Rabbit off. Dis make Brer Fox feel mighty skittish. Bimeby Brer Rabbit come a cally-hootin' back des a-hollerin':
“ ‘Run, Brer Fox, run! Mr. Man say he gwine to kyar dat meat up de road ter whar he son is, en den he's a-comin' back atter you. Run, Brer Fox, run!'
“En I let you know,” said Uncle Remus, leaning back and laughing to see the little boy laugh, “I let you know Brer Fox got mighty skace in dat neighborhood!”
XXV
African Jack
Usually, the little boy, who regarded himself as Uncle Remus' partner, was not at all pleased when he found the old man entertaining, in his simple way, any of his colored friends; but he was secretly delighted when he called one night and found Daddy Jack sitting by Uncle Remus's hearth. Daddy Jack was an object of curiosity to older people than the little boy. He was a genuine African, and for that reason he was known as African Jack, though the child had been taught to call him Daddy Jack. He was brought to Georgia in a slave-ship when he was about twenty years old, and remained upon one of the sea-islands for several years. Finally, he fell into the hands of the family of which Uncle Remus's little partner was the youngest representative, and became the trusted foreman of a plantation, in the southern part of Georgia, known as the Walthall Place. Once every year he was in the habit of visiting the Home Place in Middle Georgia, and it was during one of these annual visits that the little boy found him in Uncle Remus's cabin.
BOOK: Nights with Uncle Remus
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