Nights with Uncle Remus (29 page)

“Ki!” exclaimed Daddy Jack, raising both hands and grinning excitedly, “wut tale dis? I bin yerry da tale wun I is bin wean't fum me mammy.”

“Well, den, Brer Jack,” said Uncle Remus, with instinctive deference to the rules of hospitality, “I speck you des better whirl in yer en spin 'er out. Ef you git 'er mix up anywhars I ull des slip in front er you en ketch holt whar you lef' off.”

With than, Daddy Jack proceeded:

“One tam, B'er Rabbit is bin lub one noung leddy.”

“Miss Meadows, I speck,” suggested Uncle Remus, as the old African paused to rub his chin.

“ 'E no lub Miss Meadow nuttin' 'tall!” exclaimed Daddy Jack, emphatically. “ 'E bin lub turrer noung leddy fum dat. 'E is bin lub werry nice young leddy. 'E lub 'um hard, 'e lub 'em long, un 'e is gwan try fer mek dem noung leddy marry wit' 'im. Noung leddy seem lak 'e no look 'pon B'er Rabbit, un dis is bin-a mek B'er Rabbit feel werry bad all da day long. 'E moof 'way off by'ese'f; 'e lose 'e fat, un'e heer is bin-a come out. Bumbye, 'e see one old Affiky mans wut is bin-a hunt in da fiel' fer root un yerrub fer mek'e met'cine truck. 'E see um, un he go toze um. Affiky mans open 'e y-eye big; 'e 'stonish'. 'E say:

“ ‘Ki, B'er Rabbit! you' he'lt' is bin-a gone; 'e bina-a gone un lef you. Wut mekky you is look so puny lak dis? Wut is bin hu't-a you' feelin'?'

B'er Rabbit larf wit' dry grins. 'E say:

“ ‘Shoo! I bin got well. Ef you is see me wun I sick 'fer true, 'twill meddy you heer stan' up, I skeer you so.'

“Affiky mans, 'e mek B'er Rabbit stick out 'e tongue; 'e is count B'er Rabbit pulse, 'E shekky 'e head; 'e do say:

“Hi, B'er Rabbit! Wut all dis? You is bin ketch-a da gal-fever, un 'e strak in 'pon you' gizzud.'

“Den B'er Rabbit, 'e is tell-a da Affiky mans 'bout dem noung leddy wut no look toze 'im, un da Affiky mans, 'e do say 'e bin know gal sem lak dat, 'e is bin shum befo'. 'E say 'e kin fix all dem noung leddy lak dat. B'er Rabbit, 'e is feel so good, 'e jump up high; 'e is bin crack 'e heel; 'e shekky da Affiky mans by de han'.

“Affiky mans, 'e say B'er Rabbit no kin git da gal 'cep' 'e is mek 'im one ch'm-bag. 'E say 'e mus' git one el'phan' tush, un 'e mus' git one 'gater toof, un 'e mus' git one rice-bid bill. B'er Rabbit werry glad 'bout dis, un 'e hop way fum dey-dey.

“ 'E hop, 'e run, 'e jump all nex'day night, un bumbye 'e see one great big el'phan' come breakin' 'e way troo da woots. B'er Rabbit, 'e say:

“ ‘Ki! Oona big fer tru! I bin-a yeddy talk 'bout dis in me y-own countree. Oona big fer true; too big fer be strong.'

“El'phan' say: ‘See dis!'

“ 'E tek pine tree in 'e snout; 'e pull um by da roots; 'e toss um way off. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘Hi! dem tree come 'cause you bin high; 'e no come 'cause you bin strong.'

“El'phan' say: ‘See dis!'

“E rush troo da woots; 'e fair teer um down. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘Hoo! dem is bin-a saplin wey you 'stroy. See da big pine? Oona no kin 'stroy dem.'

“El'phan' say: ‘See dis!'

“ 'E run 'pon da big pine; da big pine is bin too tough. El'phan' tush stick in deer fer true; da big pine hol' um fas'. B'er Rabbit git-a dem tush; 'e fetch um wey da Affiky mans lif. Affiky mans say el'phan' is bin too big fer be sma't. 'E say 'e mus' haf one 'gater toof fer go wit' el'phan' tush.

“B'er Rabbit, 'e do crack 'e heel; 'e do fair fly fum dey-dey. 'E go 'long, 'e go 'long. Bumbye 'e come 'pon 'gater. Da sun shiün hot; da 'gater do 'joy' 'ese'f. B'er Rabbit say:

“ ‘Dis road, 'e werry bad; less we mek good one by da crick-side. '

“ ‘Gater lak dat. 'E wek 'ese'f up fum 'e head to 'e tail. Dey sta't fer clean da road. 'Gater, 'e do teer da bush wit' 'e toof; 'e sweep-a da trash way wit' 'e tail. B'er Rabbit, 'e do beat-a da bush down wit' 'e cane. 'E hit lef', 'e hit right; 'e hit up, 'e hit down; 'e hit all 'roun'. 'E hit un 'e hit, tell tell bumbye 'e hit 'gater in 'e mout' un knock-a da toof out. 'E grab um up; 'e gone fum dey-dey. 'E fetch-a da 'gater toof wey da Affiky mans lif. Affiky mans say:

“ ‘'Gater is bin-a got sha'p toof fer true. Go fetch-a me one rice-bud bill.'

“B'er Rabbit gone! 'E go 'long, 'e go 'long, tell 'e see rice-bud swingin' on bush. 'E ahx um kin 'e fly.

“Rice-bud say: ‘See dis!'

“ 'E wissle, 'e sing, 'e shek 'e wing; 'e fly all 'roun' un 'roun'.

“B'er Rabbit say rice-bud kin fly wey day win' is bin blow, but 'e no kin fly wey no win blow.

“Rice-bud say, ‘Enty!'

“ 'E wait fer win' stop blowin'; 'e wait, un 'e fly all 'roun' un 'roun'.

“B'er Rabbit say rice-bud yent kin fly in house wey dey no win'.

“Rice-bud say, ‘Enty!'

“ 'E fly in house, 'e fly all 'roun' un 'roun'. B'er Rabbit pull de do' shed; 'e look at dem rice-bid; 'e say, ‘Enty!'

“ 'E ketch dem rice-bud; 'e do git um bill, 'e fetch um wey da Affiky mans lif. Affikymans says dem rice-bud bill slick fer true. 'E tekky da el'phan' tush, 'e tekky day 'gater toof, 'e tekky da rice-bud bill, he pit um in lil bag; 'e swing dem bag 'pon B'er Rabbit neck. Den B'er Rabbit kin marry dem noung gal. Enty!”

Here Daddy Jack paused and flung a glance of feeble tenderness upon 'Tildy. Uncle Remus smiled contemptuously, seeing which 'Tildy straightened herself, tossed her head, and closed her eyes with an air of indescribable scorn.

“I dunner what Brer Rabbit mout er done,” she exclaimed; “but I lay ef dey's any old nigger man totin' a cunjer-bag in dis neighborhood, he'll get mighty tired un it 'fo' it do 'im any good—I lay dat!”

Daddy Jack chuckled heartily at this, and dropped off to sleep so suddenly that the little boy thought he was playing possum.

XXXV

“Uncle Remus,” said the child, “do you reckon Brother Rabbit really married the young lady?”

“Bless yo' soul, honey,” responded the old man, with a sigh, “hit b'long ter Brer Jack fer ter tell you dat. 'Taint none er my tale.”

“Wasn't that the tale you started to tell?”

“Who? Me?
Shoo!
I ain't 'sputin' but w'at Brer Jack tale des ez purty ez dey er any needs fer, yit 'taint none er my tale.”

At this, the little boy laid his head upon Uncle Remus's knee and waited.

“Now, den,” said the old man, with an air of considerable importance, “we er got ter to 'way back behine dish yer yaller-gater doin's w'at Brer Jack bin mixin' us up wid. 'Ef I makes no mistakes wid my 'membrence, de place wharbouts I lef' off wuz whar Brer Rabbit had so many 'p'intments fer ter keep out de way er de t'er creeturs dat he 'gun ter feel monst'us humblyfied. Let um be who dey will, you git folks in a close place ef you wanter see um shed der proudness. Dey beg mo' samer dan a nigger w'en de patter-rollers ketch 'im. Brer Rabbit aint ko no beggin', kaze dey aint kotch; yit dey come so nigh it, he 'gun ter feel he weakness.

“W'en Brer Rabbit feel dis a-way, do he set down flat er de groun' en let de t'er creeturs rush up en grab 'im? He mought do it deze days, kaze times done change; but in dem days he des tuck'n sot up wid hisse'f en study 'bout w'at he gwine do. He study en study, en las' he up 'n tell he ole 'oman, he did, dat he gwine on a journey. Wid dat, ole Miss Rabbit, she tuck 'en fry 'im up a rasher er bacon, en bake 'im a pone er bread. Brer Rabbit tied dis up in a bag en tuck down he walkin' cane en put out.”

“Where was he going, Uncle Remus?” asked the little boy.

“Lemme 'lone, honey! Lemme sorter git hit up, like. De trail mighty cole 'long yer, sho; kaze dish yer tale aint come 'cross my min' not sence yo' gran'pa fotch us all out er Ferginny, en dat's a monst'us long time ago.

“He put out, Brer Rabbit did, fer ter see old Mammy-Bammy Big-Money.”

“Dat uz dat ole witch-rabbit,” remarked Aunt Tempy, complacently.

“Yasser,” continued Uncle Remus, “de ve'y same ole creetur w'at I done tell you 'bout we'n Brer Rabbit los' he foot. He put out, he did, en atter so long a time he git dar. He take time fer ter ketch he win', en den he sorter shake hisse'f up en rustle 'roun' in de grass. Bimeby he holler:

“ ‘Mammy-Bammy Big-Money! O Mammy-Bammy Big-Money! I journeyed fur, I journeyed fas'; I glad I foun' de place at las'.'

“Great big black smoke rise up out er de groun', en ole Mammy-Bammy Big-Money 'low:

“ ‘Wharfo', Son Riley Rabbit, Riley? Son Riley Rabbit, wharfo'?'

“Wid dat,” continued Uncle Remus, dropping the sing-song tone by means of which he managed to impart a curious dignity and stateliness to the dialogue between Brother Rabbit and Mammy-Bammy Big-Money—“wid dat Brer Rabbit up'n tell 'er, he did, 'bout how he fear'd he losin' the use er he min', kaze he done come ter dat pass dat he aint kin fool de yuther creeturs no mo', en dey push 'em so closte twell 'twont be long 'fo' dey 'll git 'im. De ole Witch-Rabbit she sot dar, she did, en suck in black smoke en puff it out 'gin, twell you can't see nothing 'tall but 'er great big eyeballs en 'er great big years. Atter w'ile she 'low:

“ ‘Dar sets a squer'l in dat tree, Son Riley; go fetch dat squer'l straight ter me, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.'

“Brer Rabbit sorter study, en den he 'low, he did:

“I aint got much sense lef', yit ef I can't coax dat chap down from dar, den hit's kaze I done got some zeeze w'ich it make me fibble in de min',' sezee.

“Wid dat, Brer Rabbit tuck'n empty de provender out'n he bag en got 'im two rocks, en put de bag over he head en sot down und' de tree whar he squir'l is. He wait little w'ile, en den he hit de rocks tergedder—
blip!

“Squer'l he holler, ‘Hey!'

“Brer Rabbit wait little, en den he tuck'n slap de rocks tergedder—
blap!

“Squer'l he run down de tree little bit en holler, Heyo!'

“Brer Rabbit aint sayin' nothin'. He des pop de rocks togedder—
blop!

“Squer'l, he come down little furder, he did, en holler, ‘Who dat?'

“ ‘Biggidy Dicky Big-Bag!'

“ ‘What you doin' in dar?'

“ ‘Crackin' hick'y nuts.'

“ ‘Kin I crack some?'

“ ‘Tooby sho, Miss Bunny Bushtail; come git in de bag.'

“Miss Bunny Bushtail hang back,” continued Uncle Remus, chuckling; “but de long en de short un it wuz dat she got in de bag, en Brer Rabbit he tuck'n kyar'd 'er ter ole Mammy-Bammy Big-Money. De ole Witch-Rabbit, she tuck 'n' tu'n de squer'l a-loose, en 'low:

“ ‘Dar lies a snake in 'mungs' de grass, Son Riley; go fetch 'im yer, en be right fas', Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.'

“Brer Rabbit look 'roun', en sho 'nuff dar lay de bigges' kinder rattlesnake, all quile up ready fer business. Brer Rabbit scratch he year wid he behine leg, en study. Look lak he gwine git in trouble. Yit atter wi'le he go off in de bushes, he did, en cut 'im a young grape-vine, en he fix 'im a slip-knot. Den he come back. Snake 'periently look lak he sleep. Brer Rabbit ax 'im how he come on. Snake aint say nothin', but he quile up a little tighter, en he tongue run out lak it bin had grease on it. Mouf shot, yit de tongue slick out en slick back 'fo' a sheep kin shake he tail. Brer Rabbit, he 'low, he did:

“ ‘Law, Mr. Snake, I mighty glad I come 'cross you,' sezee. Me en ole Jedge Ba'r bin havin' a turrible 'spute 'bout how long you is. We bofe 'gree dat you look mighty purty w'en youer layin' stretch out full lenk in de sun; but Jedge B'ar, he 'low you aint but th'ee foot long, en I stood 'im down dat you 'uz four foot long ef not mo',' sezee. ‘En de talk got so hot dat I come mighty nigh hittin' 'im a clip wid my walkin'-cane, en ef I had I boun' dey'd er bin some bellerin' done roun' dar,' sezee.

“Snake aint say nothin', but he look mo' complassy
⁵⁶
dan w'at he bin looking'.

“ ‘I up 'n' tole old Jedge B'ar,' sez Brer Rabbit, sezee, ‘dat de nex' time I run 'cross you I gwine take'n medjer you; en goodness knows I mighty glad I struck up wid you, kaze now dey wont be no mo' 'casion fer any 'sputin' 'twix' me and Jedge B'ar,' sezee.

“Den Brer Rabbit ax Mr. Snake ef he wont be so good ez ter onquile hisse'f. Snake he feel mighty proud, he did, en he stretch out fer all he wuff. Brer Rabbit he medjer, he did, en 'low:

“ ‘Dar one foot fer Jedge B'ar; dar th'ee foot fer Jedge B'ar; en, bless goodness, dar four foot fer Jedge B'ar, des lak I say!'

“By dat time Brer Rabbit done got ter snake head, en des ez de las' wud drop out'n he mouf, he slip de loop 'roun' snake neck, en den he had 'im good en fas'. He tuck'n drag 'im, he did, up ter whar de ole witch-rabbit settin' at; but w'en he git dar, Mammy-Bammy Big-Money done make 'er disappearance, but he year sump'n way off yander, en seem lak it say:

“Ef you git any mo' sense, Son Riley, you'll be de ruination ev de whole settlement, Son Riley Rabbit, Riley.'

“Den Brer Rabbit drag de snake 'long home, en stew 'im down en rub wid de grease fer ter make 'im mo' soopler in de lim's. Bless yo' soul, honey, Brer Rabbit mought 'er bin kinder fibble in de legs, but he wa'nt no ways cripple und' de hat.”
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