Nights with Uncle Remus (30 page)

XXXVI

“Uncle Remus,” said the little boy, one night, when he found the old man sitting alone in his cabin, “did you ever see Mammy-Bammy Big-Money?”

Uncle Remus placed his elbows on his knees, rested his chin in the palms of his hands, and gazed steadily in the fire. Presently he said:

“W'en folks 'gin ter git ole en no-'count, hit look lak der 'membunce git slack. Some time hit seem lak I done seed sump'n n'er mighty nigh de make en color er ole Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, en den ag'in seem lak I aint. W'en dat de case, w'at does I do? Does I stan' tiptoe en tetch de rafters en make lak I done seed dat ole Witch-Rabbit, w'en, goodness knows, I aint seed er? Dat I don't. No, bless you! I'd say de same in comp'ny, much less settin' in yer 'long side er you. De long en de short un it,” exclaimed Uncle Remus, with emphasis, “is des dis. Ef I bin run 'crost ole Mammy-Bammy Big-Money in my day en time, den she tuck'n make 'er disappearance dat quick, twel I aint kotch a glimp' un 'er.”

The result of this good-humored explanation was that the child didn't know whether Uncle Remus had seen the Witch-Rabbit or not, but his sympathies led him to suspect that the old man was thoroughly familiar with all her movements.

“Uncle Remus,” the little boy said, after a while, “if there is another story about Mammy-Bammy Big-Money, I wish you would tell it to me all by my own-alone self.”

The idea seemed to please the old man wonderfully, and he chuckled over it for several minutes.

“Now, den, honey,” he said, after a while, “you hit me whar I'm weak—you mos' sho'ly does. Comp'ny mighty good fer some folks en I kin' put up wid it long ez de nex' un, but you kin des take'n pile comp'ny 'pun top er comp'ny, en day won't kyore de liver complaint. W'en you talk dat away you fetches me, sho', en I'll tell you a tale 'bout de Ole Witch-Rabbit ef I hatter git down yer on my all-fours en grabble it out'n de ashes. Yit they aint no needs 'er dat, kaze de tale done come in my min' des ez fresh ez ef 'twas day 'fo' yistiddy.

“Hit seem lak dat one time atter Brer Wolf tuck'n steal Brer Rabbit foot, dey wuz a mighty long fallin'-out 'twix' um. Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n got ashy kaze Brer Wolf tuck'n tuck he foot; en Brer Wolf, he tuck'n got hot kaze Brer Rabbit wuk en wuk 'roun' en git he foot ag'in. Hit keep on dis away twel bimeby de ole Witch-Rabbit sorter git tired er Brer Wolf, en one day she tuck'n sont wud ter Brer Rabbit dat she lak mighty well fer ter see 'im.

“Dey fix up der plans, dey did, en 'twa'n't so mighty long 'fo' Brer Rabbit run inter Brer Wolf house in a mighty big hurry, en he 'low, he did:

“ ‘Brer Wolf! O Brer Wolf! I des now come fum de river, en des ez sho' ez youer settin' in dat cheer, ole Big-Money layin' dar stone dead. Less
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we go eat 'er up.'

“ ‘Brer Rabbit, shol'y youer jokin'!'

“‘Brer Wolf, I'm a-ginin'
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un you de fatal fack. Come on, less go!'

“ ‘Brer Rabbit, is you sho' she dead?'

“ ‘Brer Wolf, she done dead; come on, less go!'

“En go dey did. Dey went roun' en dey got all de yuther creeturs, en Brer Wolf, livin' so nigh, he let all he chilluns go, en 'twa'n't so mighty long 'fo' dey had a crowd dar des lak camp-meetin' times.

“W'en dey git dar, sho' nuff, dar lay ole Big-Money all stretch out on de river bank. Dis make Brer Wolf feel mighty good, en he tuck'n stick he han's in he pocket en strut 'roun' dar en look monst'us biggity. Atter he done tuck'n 'zamine ole Big-Money much ez he wanter, he up'n low, he did, dat dey better sorter rustle 'roun' en make a fa'r dividjun. He ax Brer Mink, he ax Brer Coon, he ax Brer 'Possum, he ax Brer Tarrypin, he ax Brer Rabbit, w'ich part dey take, en dey all up'n 'low, dey did, dat bein' ez Brer Wolf de biggest en de heartiest in de neighborhoods er de appetite, dey speck he better take de fus choosement.

“Wid dat Brer Wolf, he sot down on a log, en hang he head ter one side, sorter lak he 'shame' er hisse'f. Bimeby, he up'n 'low:

“ ‘Now, den, folks en fr'en's, sence you shove it on me, de shortest way is de bes' way. Brer Coon, we bin good fr'en's a mighty long time; how much er dish yer meat out a fibble
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ole man lak me ter take?' sezee.

“Brer Wolf talk mighty lovin'. Brer Coon snuff de a'r, en 'low:

“ ‘I speck you better take one er de fo'-quarters, Brer Wolf,' sezee.

“Brer Wolf look lak he 'stonish'. He lif' up he han's, en 'low:

“ ‘Law, Brer Coon, I tuck you ter be my fr'en', dat I did. Man w'at talk lak dat aint got no feelin' fer me. Hit make me feel mighty lonesome,' sezee.

“Den Brer Wolf tu'n 'roun' en talk mighty lovin' ter Brer Mink:

“ ‘Brer Mink, many's de day you bin a-knowin' me; how much er dish yer meat you speck oughter fall ter my sheer?' sezee.

“Brer Mink sorter study, en den he 'low:

“ ‘Bein' ez you er sech a nice man, Brer Wolf, I speck you oughter take one er de fo'-quarters, en a right smart hunk off'n de bulge er de neck,' sezee.

“Brer Wolf holler out, he did:

“ ‘Go 'way, Brer Mink! Go 'way! You ain't no 'quaintance er mine!'

“Den ole Brer Wolf tu'n 'roun' ter Brer' Possum en talk lovin':

“ ‘Brer 'Possum, I done bin tuck wid a likin' fer you long time 'fo' dis. Look at me, en den look at my fambly, en den tell me, ef you be so good, how much er dish yer meat gwine ter fall ter my sheer.'

“Brer 'Possum, he look 'roun', de did, en grin, en he up'n 'low:

“ ‘Take half, Brer Wolf, take half!'

“Den ole Brer Wolf holler out:

“ ‘Shoo, Brer 'Possum! I like you no mo'.'

“Den Brer Wolf tu'n to Brer Tarrypin', en Brer Tarrypin say Brer Wolf oughter take all 'cep' one er de behime quarters, en den Brer Wolf 'low dat Brer Tarrypin aint no fr'en' ter him. Den he up'n ax Brer Rabbit, en Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n 'pon, he did:

“ ‘Gentermuns all! you see Brer Wolf chillun? Well dey er all monst'us hongry, en Brer Wolf hongry hisse'f. Now I puts dis plan straight at you: less we all let Brer Wolf have de fus' pass at Big-Money; less tie 'im on dar, en le'm eat much ez he wanter, en den kin pick de bones,' sezee.

“ ‘Youer my pardner, Brer Rabbit!' sez Brer Wolf, sezee; ‘youer my honey-pardner!'

“Dey all 'gree ter dis plan, mo' 'speshually ole Brer Wolf, so den dey tuck'n tie 'im outer Big-Money. Dey tie 'im on dar, dey did, en den ole Brer Wolf look all 'roun' en wunk at de yuthers. Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n wunk back, en den Brer Wolf retch down en bite Big-Money on de back er de neck. Co'se, w'en he do dis, Big-Money bleedz ter flinch; let 'lone dat, she bleedz ter jump. Brer Wolf holler out:

“ ‘Ow! Run yer somebody! Take me off! She aint dead. O Lordy! I feel 'er move!'

Brer Rabbit holler back:

“ ‘Nummine de flinchin', Brer Wolf. She done dead; I done year er sesso
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'erse'f. She dead, sho'. Bite er ag'in, Brer Wolf, bite 'er ag'in!'

“Brer Rabbit talk so stiff, hit sorter tuck de chill off'n Brer Wolf, en he dipt down en bit ole Big-Money ag'in. Wid dat, she 'gun ter move off, en Brer Wolf he holler des lak de woods done kotch a-fier:

“ ‘Ow! O Lordy! Ontie me, Brer Rabbit, ontie me! She aint dead! Ow! Run yer, Brer Rabbit, en ontie me!'

“Brer Rabbit, he holler back:

“She er sho'ly dead, Brer Wolf! Nail er, Brer Wolf! Bite 'er! gnyaw 'er!'

“Brer Wolf keep on bitin', en Big-Money keep on movin' off. Bimeby, she git ter de bank er de river, en she fall in—
cumber-joom!
—en dat 'uz de las' er Brer Wolf.”

“What did Brother Rabbit do?” the little boy asked, after a while.

“Well,” responded Uncle Remus, in the tone of one anxious to dispose of a disagreeable matter as pleasantly as possible, “you know w'at kinder man Brer Rabbit is. He des went off some'rs by he own-alone se'f en tuck a big laugh.”

XXXVII

The next night Daddy Jack was still away when the little boy went to see Uncle Remus, and the child asked about him.

“Bless yo' soul, honey! don't ax me 'bout Brer Jack. He look lak he mighty old en trimbly, but he mighty peart nigger, mon. He look lak he shufflin' 'long, but dat old nigger gits over groun', sho'. Forty year ergo, maybe I mought er kep' up wid 'im, but I let you know Brer Jack is a way 'head er me. He mos' sho'ly is.”

“Why, he's older than you are, Uncle Remus!” the child exclaimed.

“Dat w'at I year tell. Seem lak hit mighty kuse, but sho' ez youer bawn Brer Jack is a heap mo' pearter nigger dan w'at ole Remus is. He little, yit he mighty hard. Dat's Brer Jack, up en down.”

Uncle Remus paused and reflected a moment. Then he went on:

“Talkin' 'bout Brer Jack put me in min' 'bout a tale w'ich she sho'ly mus' er happen down dar in dat ar country what Brer Jack come fum, en it sorter ketch me in de neighborhoods er de 'stonishment kaze he aint done up'n tell it. I speck it done wuk loose fum Brer Jack 'membunce.”

“What tale was that, Uncle Remus?”

“Seem lak dat one time w'en eve'ything en eve'ybody was runnin' 'long des lak dey bin had waggin' grease 'pun um, ole Brer Wolf”—

The little boy laughed incredulously and Uncle Remus paused and frowned heavily.

“Why, Uncle Remus! how did Brother Wolf get away from Mammy-Bammy Big-Money?”

The old man's frown deepened and his voice was full of anger as he replied:

“Now, den, is I'm de tale, er is de tale me? Tell me dat! Is I'm de tale, er is de tale me? Well, den, ef I aint de tale en de tale aint me, den how come you wanter take'n rake me over de coals fer?”

“Well, Uncle Remus, you know what you said. You said that was the end of Brother Wolf.”

“I bleedz ter 'spute dat,” exclaimed Uncle Remus, with the air of one performing a painful duty; “I bleedz ter 'spute it. Dat w'at de tale say. Ole Remus is one nigger en de tale, hit's a n'er nigger. Yit I aint got no time fer ter set back yer en fetch out de oggyments.”

Here the old man paused, closed his eyes, leaned back in his chair, and sighed. After a while he said, in a gentle tone:

“So den, Brer Wolf done dead, en yer I wuz runnin' on des same lak he wuz done 'live. Well! well! well!”

Uncle Remus stole a glance at the little boy, and immediately relented.

“Yit,” he went on, “ef I'm aint de tale and de tale aint me, hit aint skacely make no diffunce whe'er Brer Wolf dead er whe'er he's a high-primin' 'roun' bodder'n 'longer de yuther creeturs. Dead er no dead, dey wuz one time w'en Brer Wolf live in de swamp down dar in dat ar country whar Brer Jack come fum, en, mo'n dat, he had a mighty likely gal. Look lak all de yuther creeturs atter 'er. Dey 'ud go down dar ter Brer Wolf house, dey would, en dey 'ud set up and court de gal, en 'joy deyse'f.

“Hit went on dis away 'twel atter w'ile de skeeters 'gun ter git monst'us bad. Brer Fox, he went flyin' 'roun' Miss Wolf, en he sot dar, he did, en run on wid 'er en fight skeeters des es big ez life en twice-tez natchul. Las' Brer Wolf, he tuck'n kotch Brer Fox slappin' en fightin' at he skeeters. Wid dat he tuck'n tuck Brer Fox by de off year en led 'im out ter de front gate, en w'en he git dar, he 'low, he did, dat no man w'at can't put up wid skeeters aint gwine ter come a-courtin' his gal.

“Den Brer Coon, he come flyin' 'roun' de gal, but he aint bin dar no time skacely 'fo' he 'gun ter knock at de skeeters; en no sooner is he done dis dan Brer Wolf show 'im de do'. Brer Mink, he come en try he han', yit he bleedz ter fight de skeeters, en Brer Wolf ax 'im out.

“Hit went on dis away twel bimeby all de creeturs bin flyin' 'roun' Brer Wolf's gal 'ceppin' it's ole Brer Rabbit, en w'en he year w'at kinder treatments de yuther creeturs bin ketchin' he 'low ter hisse'f dat he b'leeve in he soul he mus' go down ter Brer Wolf house en set de gal out one whet ef it's de las' ack.

“No sooner say, no sooner do. Off he put, en 'twa'n't long 'fo' he fine hisse'f knockin' at Brer Wolf front do'. Ole Sis Wolf, she tuck'n put down 'er knittin' en she up'n 'low, she did:

“ ‘Who dat?'

“De gal, she uz stannin' up 'fo' de lookin'-glass sorter primpin', en she choke back a giggle, she did, en 'low:

“ ‘Sh-h-h! My goodness, mammy! dat's Mr. Rabbit. I year de gals say he's a mighty prop-en-tickler
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genter-mun, en I des hope you aint gwine ter set dar en run on lak you mos' allers does w'en I got comp'ny 'bout how much soap-grease you done save up en how many kittens de ole cat got. I gits right 'shame' sometimes, dat I does!' ”

The little boy looked astonished.

“Did she talk that way to her mamma?” he asked.

“
Shoo,
chile! 'Mungs' all de creeturs dey aint no mo' kuse creeturs dan de gals. Ole ez I is, ef I wuz ter start in dis minnit fer ter tell you how kuse de gals is, en de Lord wuz ter spar' me plum twel I git done, yo' head 'ud be gray, en Remus 'ud be des twice-t ez ole ez w'at he is right now.”

“Well, what did her mamma say, Uncle Remus?”

“Ole Sis Wolf, she sot dar, she did, en settle 'er cap on 'er head, en snicker, en look at de gal lak she monst'us proud. De gal, she tuck'n shuck 'erself 'fo' de lookin'-glass a time er two, en den she tipt ter de do' en open' it little ways en peep out des lak she skeer'd some un gwine ter hit 'er a clip side de head. Dar stood ole Brer Rabbit lookin' des ez slick ez a race-hoss. De gal, she tuck'n laff, she did, en holler: