Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1) (40 page)

Thomas was parked in my driveway when I got home. “What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked my older brother when he stepped out of the car. I had no idea he was in town, and I certainly wasn’t in the mood for visitors.

“Saving your ass, that’s what.” He stepped into the house behind me. A trail of frigid air followed us from the door to the living room. I would never get used to Indiana winters.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I went to see Madison. I got her to agree to a paternity test, and I offered her a fat wad of cash to let you off the hook for the baby.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” I asked. “I don’t want to be let off the hook. What makes you think I’d want to give up my son?”

“Let me finish,” he said. “She didn’t want the money. She said she’d let you walk away for free.”

“Do you realize what you’ve done?”

“Yes, I proved that there is at least one woman in the world that isn’t a gold digger. You’ve been a wreck for weeks. Once you came back to this icy hell hole, I figured it would only be a matter of time before you threw your life away on her.”

“So you decided to make it so she’ll never speak to me again?”

“I thought I’d get proof that she’s a bitch, so you could see her true colors and leave her alone for good.” He diverted his traitorous eyes from mine. “Instead, I realized that you actually found one of the very rare good ones. If you are determined to settle down, I guess she’s okay.”

“You guess she’s okay? How the fuck am I supposed to fix this?” I paced the length of the room and then rounded on my older brother. “Get the fuck out of my house, and mind your own goddamned business.”

“Calm the fuck down, bro. I was just trying to help.”

I was sure I would turn green and rip through my clothes like the Incredible Hulk. “Out! Now!”

“Whatever.” He shook his head as he stormed out of my house.

I grabbed my phone and hit the name at the top of my call history. “Marina, I need your help,” I said as soon as my sister answered. I explained what had happened with BMW guy and Thomas. “What am I going to do?”

“You’re going to go to her and grovel like you’ve never groveled before.”

“Is that the best you’ve got? There’s no way that’s going to work,” I said and then hung up the phone without another word. I knew I was too late. Madison had moved on, and Thomas had driven the final nail in my coffin. I fell back onto my couch and cried.

Madison

I dropped off Peyton and Brianna at Nana’s house for a New Year’s Eve sleepover. Charlie had asked Nana to watch Brianna, so he and Ethan could go out, and Peyton had wanted to go, too.

I fiddled with the small, rectangular box I’d been keeping in my coat pocket for nearly a week as I walked up the steps to my house. I couldn’t bring myself to open it or throw it away, so I’d just left it in my pocket.

I came home to find Ethan and Charlie making out on the couch. “That was fast. I was only gone five minutes,” I said. They pulled apart and grinned. “I thought you guys were going out.”

“We are, but we want to talk to you first,” Ethan said.

“You’ve been spending too much time alone lately,” Charlie added.

“Not true, I spend most of my time with Peyton,” I countered. “Plus, I went out with Aaron that one time.” It had been a pleasant evening, but I would have rather been home with Peyton.

“You know what he meant. You need more adult companionship. That one night out doesn’t count,” Ethan said.

“I’m a fat, hormonal, bitchy mess. No one wants to spend time with that. You’re going to regret moving in with me before long.” Ethan had moved in a few days earlier when his lease expired. His stuff was in the spare room, but I hadn’t seen much of him because he spent most of his time with Charlie and Brianna.

“Not true, you’re barely showing,” Charlie said with a grin.

“Ah, so you agree that I’m a hormonal bitch?” I asked with a smile.

“We want you to come out with us tonight,” Ethan said. “You may be bitchy, but we love you anyway.”

“This isn’t optional, is it?” I asked.

“Of course not,” Charlie said. “Now, go get changed.”

*

I swung my hips to the beat of the dance mix with Charlie in front of me and Ethan pressed up against my back. We didn’t have a real dance club in town, but the tavern three blocks from the house tried its best to fill the void on certain holidays.

“This is the most I’ve seen you smile in a long time,” Ethan said. His lips were close to my ear, so I could hear him over the loud music.

“I’m doing better. I decided to focus on what I have, instead of what I’ve lost. I’ve got Peyton, a little guy on the way, and the two best friends a girl could ask for. What more do I need?” I was nearly shouting in his ear. I was glad the music and the dim lighting gave us some sense of privacy in the crowded room.

“Are you over Ramsay?” Charlie asked.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be completely over him, but I’ve gotten to a place where I can function.” I was sure I would lose my voice by the end of the night.

“There’s something we want to ask you,” Ethan said from behind me.

“We want you to be with us,” Charlie added.

“What do you mean?” I was completely befuddled by their question.

“We want you to join our relationship. You would be our girlfriend, and we’d be your boyfriends.” As Charlie spoke, I thought back to the incredibly sexy scene I’d walked in on earlier in the evening, and how I’d had to change my panties before we left the house. “The three of us can raise the girls and the baby together.”

“I don’t know…. My life is such a mess right now.” I missed being in a relationship, and I really missed sex. I wondered if being with them would be enough to distract me from the heartbreak I still felt for Sawyer. I had an up-close-and-personal view of Ethan and Charlie kissing over my shoulder. “I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

“You wouldn’t be. I’ve loved you since we were kids, remember?” Ethan said quietly in my ear. He rubbed his growing excitement against my bottom.

“And I’ve been hot for you for as long as I can remember,” Charlie whispered. He mirrored Ethan’s movements to prove it to me. “I just never had a shot, thanks to this guy.”

“Don’t forget about your promise,” Ethan said. “You agreed that you’d give me another chance if you were single and I still wanted you after I gave another relationship a chance. I think this situation qualifies.”

My hormones went up in flames. I had two extremely hot men rubbing their erections against my body. Maybe it was worth a try. Maybe it was the best I could get now that I’d lost Sawyer. I looked up into Charlie’s heated eyes. The noise of the bar faded away as his lips came toward mine in slow motion.

My lips connected with Charlie’s, and I felt Ethan’s full mouth on my neck. After a chaste moment, Charlie ran his tongue along the seam of my lips. I began to open for him, and then he was suddenly gone.

I opened my eyes just in time to see Charlie dodge a large fist flying at his head. It didn’t lose momentum and missed my face by only a few millimeters. I realized Ethan had pulled me out of the way just in time to avoid a collision.

I righted myself and looked for Charlie to make sure he was okay. Instead, my gaze locked on a pair of blue eyes I never expected to see again.

“Madison,” he said frantically. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean—”

My brain and body became disconnected. My fist slammed into his face before I knew what happened. “Holy fuck!” I yelled as I cradled my hand. I looked up to see Sawyer rubbing his jaw.

“That was freaking awesome, Mads,” Ethan said. “Let me take a look at your hand.”

“It’ll be okay.” Still unable to control my actions, I took a step closer to Sawyer and knotted my uninjured hand in his shorter hair. I pulled his head toward mine and slammed my lips against his. Just as I suspected, his kiss still set me on fire in a way that Charlie’s never could.

The spell was broken when his hands moved to my ass and pulled my hips into his straining erection. I jerked away and rammed my knee as hard as I could into his family jewels.
I guess he won’t be giving my baby any siblings.
Holding his stomach, he collapsed to the floor.

“I’m going home. I’ll see you guys later.” I didn’t acknowledge Sawyer’s feeble attempt to get my attention as I stormed from the bar.

*

I wasn’t surprised when my doorbell rang fifteen minutes after I’d gotten home.

“I have nothing to say to you,” I yelled through the closed door.

“Just give me five minutes. You owe me at least that much,” he yelled back.

I flung the door open and fought the intense urge to punch him again. “I don’t owe you shit!” I screamed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Can we please just talk?”

“You’ve given me seventy-three seconds of your time over the past six weeks. How dare you show up here with that entitled attitude?”

“You have every right to be angry, but we need to talk.”

“I’ll give you the same courtesy you gave me.” I made a show of looking at my watch. “You have seventy-three seconds. Go.”

“I found out what Thomas did. I swear I had nothing to do with that.”

“That’s nice. Sixty seconds left.”

“I don’t need a paternity test, and I sure as hell do want to be a part of the baby’s life. I think we should get married.”

My eyes widened as they jumped from my watch to his face. “Why on earth would I want to marry you?”

“It makes sense. You’re having my baby, and I love Peyton. You’ll have the financial support you need, and I’ll be able to help raise our children.”

“Peyton is mine, and I don’t want anything from you.” I rubbed my forehead to try to ease my growing headache. “I’m tired of being fucked by you both physically and mentally. You left me. You ignored me for weeks, and then you show up out of the blue and tell me you want to get married?”

“It’s complicated. Please, give me a chance to explain.”

“I’m sorry if I’m not in the mood to listen to your excuses. I gave you my heart, and you didn’t want it. Instead of doing the right thing and giving it back, you ran it through a blender and then flushed it down the toilet.” My baby kicked, reminding me I needed to calm down for his sake.

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” he said. “I figured something out while I was gone. I don’t know how to define this thing between us, but what I do know is that you’re it for me.”

“I told you a while ago that we’re over, and I meant it. It’s not my problem if you don’t listen to your voicemail. Now if you’ll excuse me, your time is up.” I stepped back to close the door but was thwarted by his strong arm reaching out to stop it.

“Is this about BMW guy?”

“Who?” I tried to think of who he could be talking about. I remembered Aaron’s sleek car, although I had no idea how Sawyer would know about him or his car. “Of course not!”

He had no right to be jealous. I grabbed the magazine his brother had given me from the nearby trashcan and shoved it in his face. “What about your new girlfriend? Shouldn’t you be trying to get
her
to marry you?”

He frowned and looked to where I was pointing. His eyes widened when he figured out what he was looking at. “That’s Marina’s friend, Juli. Marina dragged me to the premier because I hadn’t left her house in weeks.”

“It sure doesn’t look like you were there against your will.” The hurt I’d felt when I first saw the picture came rushing back. I hated seeing how happy he was with her; how close they were standing.

“I was telling her the story about when we played football with Peyton and Marina,” he said. “It was noisy. I must have gotten closer than I realized, so I wouldn’t have to yell.”

Could it be that his smile in the photograph was for me? Did it even matter if it was?

“What about that kiss at the bar?” he asked.

“It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

He dropped his hand from the door, and I closed it on him. I wondered if it would stay closed forever.

Sawyer

I knew Madison needed time to process the hell I’d put her through and my sudden reappearance. I wasn’t sure how long she would need, so I’d left a bouquet of roses on her doorstep every day since New Year’s so she would know I was thinking about her. I knocked every time, but she never answered—until today.