Never to Keep (Accepting Fate #1) (38 page)

“Finn Ramsay.”

“Was Finn’s brother, Sawyer Ramsay, in attendance?” It had been difficult to tell Aaron about Sawyer, but I had to do it for Peyton. I hadn’t known much about Kristy’s wedding; Aaron must have done some investigating after our meeting.

“Yes.”

“I have witnesses that will testify Kristy attempted to engage in sexual relations with Sawyer Ramsay less than an hour before the ceremony. Did you know about that?” Hailey hesitated for a moment. “Remember you are under oath.”

“Yes, she wasn’t exactly quiet about it,” she said as she picked at her acrylic nails. “He turned her down.”

“The witnesses will also testify that you attempted to engage in sexual relations with Sawyer Ramsay shortly after he turned Kristy down. Is that correct?” My stomach churned at the thought.

“Yes, but he turned me down also.”

“Did you know that Sawyer Ramsay engaged in sexual relations with Madison Miller that night?” It was my turn to squirm.

“Yes. One of the other bridesmaids saw her leaving his room in the middle of the night.”

“Are you aware that Ms. Miller is currently pregnant with Sawyer Ramsay’s child?” he asked. My hand instinctively went to my lower abdomen.

“Yes. Everyone in town knows she was screwing Peyton’s teacher.” Hailey’s lawyer placed a hand on her arm to rein her in.

“Did you tell Ms. Miller that she would lose custody of Peyton Miller unless she ended her relationship with Mr. Ramsay?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“The fifth amendment only applies when your answer could incriminate you. In this case, no matter what you answer, you could not be charged with a crime. Please, answer the question.”

“Yes.” She kept her eyes focused on her hands. I finally had confirmation that she had intentionally put me through hell.

“Legally, could Ms. Miller’s relationship with Mr. Ramsay directly lead to the termination of her guardianship of Peyton Miller?”

“No, not unless abuse or neglect were involved,” she said.

“Did you find evidence of abuse or neglect?”

“No. But I have a witness that saw Madison dancing topless at a strip club.” Her face lit up as if her statement justified all of her actions.

“Was the minor child in the strip club, too?”

“No.”

“Is stripping grounds for termination of guardianship?” Aaron leaned forward. He looked like a predator getting ready to go in for the kill.

“Not by itself, but it shows a lack of character, as does fucking Peyton’s teacher.”

“Are you saying that working a demeaning job to support Peyton while trying to complete rigorous educational requirements to make a better life for her shows a lack of character?”

Hailey was quiet for a moment before answering. “Well, when you put it that way….”

“Let’s get back to you. Why did you want this particular case? We’ve already determined that you don’t care for the Millers.”

A flash of remorse crossed Hailey’s features. “I took the case because Kristy asked me to break up Sawyer and Madison. I was never actually going to take Peyton away.”

“Why is that?”

“Everyone knows that Madison would do anything for Peyton. Kristy didn’t want to lose her leverage, and I knew what I had done would come out in court if it got that far. I thought Olivia would come home and that would be the end of it.”

“Did you find anything during your time working on the Peyton Miller case that would suggest Madison Miller would be unfit to adopt her?”

“She had some financial issues, but I was notified that those have been resolved, so my answer is no. I think Madison would be the best choice of parent for Peyton.”

“Thank you, Ms. Fox. I think we have all we need.”

Hailey’s lawyer and Aaron left the room to speak privately. I pulled out my phone and texted Ethan the good news while Hailey gathered up her belongings.

“I’m really sorry,” she said quietly. “For everything. I didn’t realize how much control Kristy had over me until I heard myself talk just now.” Hailey’s apology surprised the hell out of me. “I’ve made so many bad choices. I feel sick about how I’ve treated you.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it.” I stood to leave but was stopped by her words.

“There’s something I think you should know, although it’s not my really my place to say.”

“Go ahead; I still have some time before I have to pick up Peyton from school.” I wasn’t sure if I could trust her, but I would listen just in case what she said could help my case.

“One night, back in high school, I was at a party with Kristy. She got totally wasted and was saying hateful stuff about you. I asked her what her problem was, and she was so drunk she actually answered me.”

“What did she say?”

“She said you stole her father from her.”

“What on earth does that mean?” I barely knew her father; I couldn’t even remember his name.

“I’m not sure. She passed out after that.”

“Thanks, I guess.” I didn’t want to put too much thought into it. I wasn’t sure I’d like what I might discover.

“Oh, there’s one more thing you need to know about Sawyer.”

“I’d rather not hear it.” I had heard his name enough for one day.

“I really think you need to know.” The sympathetic look in her eyes told me I should listen, so I sat back down. “Kristy did something to him right after he moved back to California.”

Madison

The adoption hearing was two long weeks after the deposition and less than a week before Christmas. Hailey’s confession and change of heart eased some of my anxiety, but I hadn’t been able to completely relax. I still hadn’t heard a word from Sawyer, even though I had left him another message after Hailey told me about what had happened with Kristy.

I sat up straight in a wooden chair in the increasingly familiar courtroom. Every muscle in my body was as rigid as a statue. I held on tightly to Peyton’s hand as she squirmed in the chair beside me.

I kept my eyes trained on the judge as she spoke. “Taking into account the wishes of the biological mother and the glowing recommendation of Ms. Jackson from the Department of Child Services, I hereby approve this adoption. Let the record show that, as of this date, Madison Emilia Miller is now the legal parent of Peyton Ann Miller.”

I scooped Peyton into my arms and squeezed. I spoke to Aaron over her shoulder. “Thank you so much. I’ll never be able to repay you.”

Ethan and Dad came around from their seats in the gallery. Ethan took Peyton from me and hugged her tightly. Dad waited patiently for his turn with his granddaughter while I spoke with Aaron.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment since the day you walked into my office,” Aaron said. “I’ve never wanted to win so badly before.”

“Why’s that?” I asked. I didn’t think my case would be any more important than the hundreds of others he had worked on.

“Because I didn’t think you’d agree to go on a date with me if I didn’t win.”

Oh. “You know how messed up my life is better than anyone. I’m flattered, but it wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“I’m willing to take that chance.”

A handsome and successful man wanted me, even though I had been living a nightmare—not to mention another man’s baby was growing inside of me. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever hear from Sawyer again—he never officially told me we were over, but maybe he was telling me without words. I wondered how long I would foolishly wait for him before I moved on.

“I’m sorry; I just can’t. Not right now, anyway.”

He dropped his head and then pulled his eyes up to meet mine. “Will you call me if you change your mind?”

“Of course,” I said. That was the first time I realized I might be able to have a life after Sawyer.

“Are you ready for lunch?” Dad asked.

I’d nearly forgotten my surroundings. “Yes,” I replied. “Pizza?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

I held my daughter’s hand as Ethan drove us the quarter of a mile to the restaurant. We munched on cheesy garlic bread while we waited for our four pizzas to arrive. My dad had grown quiet as Ethan, Peyton, and I chatted about mundane things like work and school.

He finally spoke after the waitress placed our lunch on the table. “I need to tell you something.” He looked into my eyes for a reaction to his serious statement. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to know.”

“Is it appropriate?” I tilted my head toward Peyton. He seemed to silently debate my question for a moment.

Ethan read the mood between my father and me and asked Peyton to help him pick out a few songs on the jukebox that stood in the opposite corner of the room.

I braced myself for the words I feared most and knew were inevitable.

“Remember how I told you that I helped my infertile friends have a baby back before you were born?” I gave him a shallow nod. “It was Steve and Cindy Henderson. Kristy Henderson is your biological sister.”

I was sure I was going to vomit. Deep down I knew, but hearing the words made it much too real. How could I share DNA with the person who had made my life a living hell? How could I be related to the manipulative whore who was so awful to Sawyer and his family? I wondered if Sawyer found out and that’s why he had stayed away; maybe he thought her bitchiness was genetic.

“He grew to hate me for fathering a child with his wife—even though she was conceived in a lab and he had asked me to do it. He treated Kristy like shit and eventually left her and her mom.”

I could see the pain in my father’s hazel eyes. “Did she know? Is that way she hates me?”

“I don’t know if anyone ever told her, but her father badmouthed us every chance he had. I’m sure she figured it out.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I know what she has been doing to you and Peyton. I just thought it might help if you understood her motivations.”

“She’s tried to take everything from me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her, let alone feel sorry for her.”

“That’s your choice.
You
are my daughter, not her. I will always have your back.”

I reached across the table and covered his hand with mine. The atmosphere lifted when Peyton and Ethan came back to the table. “Guess what, Mama?”

“What, sweetie?”

“Uncle Ethan said that if I clean my room today Uncle Charlie and him will take me and Brianna to the zoo tomorrow!”

“Only if it’s okay with you, of course,” Ethan added.

“That sounds wonderful,” I said. Peyton did need to clean her room, and I could use the quiet time to clean the house. It had been low on my list of priorities with everything that had been going on.

“Yay!” she cheered and then shoved another piece of pizza in her mouth. My stomach growled—apparently the baby wanted some pizza, too.

We finished our lunch and then drove Peyton to school, so she wouldn’t have to miss a full day. Her grades had fallen some since Sawyer left, so she needed every minute of instruction she could get.

Ethan took me to the hospital for my scheduled ultrasound after we’d dropped Peyton off. I was supposed to come in when I was twenty weeks along, but I pushed it back two weeks, so I could focus on the adoption. Apparently my mysterious health insurance covered elective procedures, so I was offered a 3D ultrasound in addition to the normal one that checked for growth and development.

“Do you want to know the sex of the baby?” the ultrasound technician asked.

“Yes,” I said immediately. It must have been the pregnancy hormones that diminished my patience. Ethan held my hand as the first image appeared on the screen. The technician moved the wand around on the small curve of my stomach until she found what she was looking for.

“It’s a boy!” she said. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the screen. It was the best day I’d had in ages: Peyton was officially my daughter, and I was having a son.

The technician moved the wand around a little more and then clicked some buttons on her computer. “Here he is,” she said.

I studied the screen as she made slight adjustments to get a clearer picture. The image was disorienting at first—it looked like a picture of a mask, or maybe an alien. Once I finally got my bearings I realized I was looking at my tiny baby sucking his thumb. My cheeks became extremely wet. I got my first good look at his entire face when he released his sweet little thumb.

Sawyer.
My baby looked exactly like his father. My child, whom I loved with all of my heart, looked just like the man who had broken it.

Sawyer

I’d been staring at the picture of Madison and me at the football game when a new text message alert appeared on the screen.

Thomas:
Way to go, bro. I knew you could do it.

Me:
What are you talking about?

Thomas:
The hot redhead.

I didn’t know any hot redheads. The only hot woman I knew had beautiful dark brown hair. I started to reply to my brother, but was distracted when another text came through.

Peyton:
I gots news!

Me:
What is it?

Peyton:
I’m having a baby brother!

My heart swelled—I was going to have a son. I was going to have a little boy that I could wrestle with, teach to pee standing up, and raise to be a good man…unlike his father. I was sure Madison could teach him how to be a better man than I could.

I felt as though I’d been hit in the chest with a crowbar. I wondered if I’d fucked up so badly that I’d ruined my chance to be a part of his life. I hoped he wouldn’t grow up to hate me for what I’d put his mother through. I thought about Madison and how she had wanted a boy. At least I had done something right for her. I refocused my attention on the phone.

Me:
Madison must be happy.

Peyton:
No. She’s sad.

Me:
Why?

Peyton:
Cause he looks like you.

The most beautiful image I’d ever seen came through a few seconds later. I ran my finger over the photo of a sepia-tone ultrasound. I could easily make out all of his small features unlike the fuzzy black and white image I’d seen with Madison at the clinic. Peyton was right; the poor kid did look like me.