Never Let Go (29 page)

I hide a smile as I snuggle into him. “Like who?”

He chuckles. I can feel the rumble in his chest. “Just…
people
,” he says. “Who knows? Maybe they’re closer than you think.”

I turn my head to look at him. “Spencer?”

“Yes?” he smiles.

“You…” I hesitate. “You… won’t leave me, will you?”

His answer comes when he wraps his arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug and brings me into him.

“No,” he whispers into my hair. “No, Paige. I don’t think I will.”

We sit like that, unmoving and quiet, for what seems like a long time. In truth, I bet it’s less than a minute. But I enjoy the feeling I get when he holds me like this. There is no fear. I don’t second-guess myself. I feel free to be who I am.

It’s so liberating.

How did it come to this? How did I start to fall for the one guy I once thought was the worst thing for me?

It all began with his song last night—No. It began before that.

It began the moment we locked eyes in my bedroom, while he was balls-deep in my roommate.

The thought amuses me. It’s funny how things go. Andrew, the boy I thought was made for me, turned out to be all wrong. And Spencer—Spencer, the man with a list of conquests as long as Casanova’s!—turned out to be everything I dream of.

Things aren’t perfect, of course. Far from it. For one, how can I know that Spencer’s any different now than he was before we met? Just because I haven’t seen him with other girls since the hospital stay doesn’t mean there haven’t
been
any. There’s also the issue of time. We haven’t spent more than a week together.

Can he commit to a real relationship? Can he become monogamous for me?

My heart tells me, “yes”. But my mind harbors doubts. I know how quickly people can revert to who they really are. And who is Spencer,
really
? Is he the happy-go-lucky playboy who penned the song I heard downstairs? Or is he the sweet and tender guy he’s been around me?

I sit up and face him. “I want to ask you something,” I say. “You have to promise me to answer truthfully.”

Spencer shifts into a less comfortable, more serious position. “Okay. I’d never lie to you.”

I nod. “I believe you.” I take a deep breath to steady my nerves. “Here’s my question.
Why me
?”

I expect him to laugh and shrug it off. I expect him to chide me for asking something so silly.

He does neither of those things. He stares deep into my eyes, and speaks from the soul. “When I first saw you, Paige, you were just another pretty face.”

I grunt. At least he’s honest.

“But my real interest sparked when I caught you in the bathroom after,” he continues. “You remember that?”

“How can I forget?”

He smiles. “I was fascinated by your reaction to me. I think I told you as much. Some girls get jumpy, yes. Some try to hide the fact that they’re attracted to me. Many do it by putting on an indifferent front. But your reaction was… so… different.”

He rolls his shoulders and looks past me. “It was pure. I’ve never come across anything like it. I felt the connection—the spark?—between us right away. I know you felt it, too. But you denied it.

“That was at the start. A few days later, I saw you with Andrew. I don’t think you noticed me. I’m not beyond admitting that that made me want you more. If you were his—I wanted to steal you. Just to piss him off.”

“So I was a plaything to you?” I question, feeling more repulsed with his every word. “Just a prop to help you get at Andrew?”

Spencer smiles and takes my hand. I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let go. “At first, yes. Remember, you wouldn’t let me get within ten feet of you without turning your nose up at me. I didn’t know anything about you except that you were pretty, and you were Andrew’s.”

“I was never
Andrew’s
…” I begin.

“Hold on.” Spencer cuts me off. “You asked me for the truth, didn’t you? This is it. Yes, at first my interest was superficial. When I invited you to the frat party the first week on campus, my only intention was to get you to bed.”

“Smooth, Spencer,” I grumble. “You know, when a girl asks for the truth, sometimes it’s better to lie.”

He tightens his grip on my hand. “I’m not like that. I give what you ask. The night of the party, when I saw you leave, and I found you in your dorm, and we kissed… something changed in me. A strange, unfamiliar feeling crept into my heart. I could have fucked you on the couch that night. You know that. But your body’s reaction to me was so innocent, so pure, that I knew… something was different.

“You have to understand, Paige,” Spencer continues, “that I’ve never turned down a willing girl before. I always push through the initial token resistance. If they get angry, so what? At least I go home knowing I gave it my all. Nine times out of ten, that first bit of resistance is feigned, anyway. No girl wants to look like a slut, and all that.”

My stomach clenches up. That sounds monstrous. A girl should only have to say “no” once to mean it, right?

Then again, it’s not like I have much experience in the college hook-up scene.

Spencer notices my discomfort. “Don’t worry,” he assures me. “I’ve never forced a girl to do anything against her will. That’s the cut-off point. But think back to that night in your room. Remember the heat you felt when we kissed. It torched through your body, didn’t it? You wanted me. Your protective instincts may have told you that it was wrong, that it was too early… but had I pushed, you would have given in to your baser desire.”

I’m scared of how right I think he is. “But you didn’t push,” I whisper. “Why?”

“Because
you
were different, Paige.” Spencer moves close to me and lowers his voice. “You dressed the part that night, but you were
not
like one of those sorority bimbos. You were sweet and innocent, and somehow—I felt—that all your life, you’ve sheltered yourself from the world.”

He pauses to look at me. “I’m right, aren’t I?” he asks in a whisper

I swallow and nod. Slightly.

“That was the first thing about you, Paige, that made me stop and think. As I lay alone in bed later that night, my thoughts kept turning to you. To your beautiful face. To your vibrant laugh. To your silky hair, your amazing scent, the taste of your lips. I was consumed by my need for you.

“It scared me. Chasing girls had always been about sex. Before. But now, for some reason, I find myself drawn to you. On a deeper level. My thoughts drifted to you at the slightest provocation. I’ve thought about specific girls before, yes, but those thoughts have always been about figuring out the fastest way to get them to bed.

“You wanted honesty? This is it. Things were different with you. I wanted to know what made you tick. What made you who you are. What made you react to me the way you do.”

I’m held spellbound by his words. This is fascinating. I never thought I could provoke a reaction this strong in a man. From what? What did I do?

Nothing.

I was just being myself.

It’s insane.

“When you agreed to our date in the cafeteria,” Spencer keeps going, “you made me the happiest I’ve ever felt. It was crazy. My mood has never depended on a female before. I spent two full evenings working on that stupid little bracelet for you. Remember? I wanted to surprise you.”

“It
was
a surprise,” I say. “It’s beautiful. I only tried to give it back because I was scared of what it meant. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Spencer tells me. “You kept it, and besides, you’re here now.”

“I interrupted your story. Keep going. What happened next?”

Spencer smiles. “You said ‘no,’ but then you changed your mind. I was thrilled you did. Things didn’t exactly go according to plan.” He chuckles. “But I felt you and I got even closer because of what happened to Kate. And she’s fine now, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise.”

I smile through a blush at the memory. “I bet you liked that morning, too.”

“I did. But not your reaction. Finding you out cold and bleeding on the floor was like getting a knife through the heart. Getting you to the hospital, not knowing if I would make it in time… it was the most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through that,” I whisper.

“I know,” Spencer nods. “But what you said
after
, what you said when you woke up… that was the final nail in the coffin for me. You were unlike anyone I’ve ever met. And I felt this
need
, this overwhelming desire, to protect you from all the harm in the world. That was the moment you stole my heart.”

“I did?” I breathe.

“Yes.” Spencer cups my chin and presses his forehead to mine. “You did. I’ve never had what I have with you with another girl, Paige. I feel like I can be myself. I’m not ashamed to show you who I really am.”

I never expected such heartfelt words. They banish any uncertainty I have left.

“You stole my heart last night,” I murmur. “When you sang. I felt like it was just me and you in that room. Nobody else existed.”

Spencer threads his fingers through my hair. “I felt that way, too,” he says. “Paige.” He looks at me. “I want to protect you. I want to
be yours
. Yours alone. You are worth more to me than all the other women in this world. You’re the only one who sees me for who I am. And—” he pauses, “—you’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to reveal that side of myself to.”

I can’t stop myself. I throw my arms around him and kiss him hard.

And finally, mercifully, he kisses me back with just as much fervor.

Now I know why he waited. He wanted to make sure I understood his feelings for me.

Well, I do now. My fingers tangle in his hair as I pull him into me. His hands go under the hem of my shirt. I break away from our kiss for just a moment to let him undress me. My breasts are heavy and tender, begging for his touch. He shimmies his own shirt off, and I fall into him, the heat of our bare skin touching sending waves of arousal through me.

In one quick motion, Spencer flips us over. I’m on my back on the bed. My hands fly over the hard muscles of his shoulders, his lats. He feels so good to touch. Masculine and strong and virile. His tongue clashes with mine in my mouth.

Damn, the man knows how to kiss.

My chest is heaving and I can feel the flush on my skin when Spencer lifts away. His eyes are aflame with hunger as they devour my body. Seeing that expression, and knowing that it comes not from a place of pure lust, but from somewhere deeper and more meaningful than that, has my skin tingling in anticipation.

“You’re not stopping, are you?” My voice trembles with need.

Spencer answers by dipping his head and kiss me again. “Fuck no,” he rumbles in my ear. His teeth nip my earlobe. “I just wanted a good look at you, first.”

I close my eyes and moan as he starts working his way down my neck. The sound of pleasure is foreign to my ears. Sex has always seemed off-limits.

I know this isn’t going to be just sex. This will be making love. This is me surrendering my body to a man who knows what to do with it. To a man who respects me, cares about me… and is maybe even starting to fall in love with me.

Spencer’s tongue trails a path down my neck and stops at my breasts. I arch up, unable to wait any longer, and unclasp my bra. He pulls it off and tosses it to the side.

The awe I see in his eyes as he looks at my naked, turned-on body makes me feel like a goddess.

For all my screwed up personality traits, I’ve never been ashamed of my body. I never felt any particular affection for it, either. It was just something I had, like a pair of shoes or an old hat.

But now, feeling Spencer’s eyes on me, a great surge of the sexuality I’ve kept tucked away roars to life. I feel like a woman should in the arms of a man: desired, sensual, and revered.

“You are more beautiful than I could have imagined,” Spencer breathes. His fingers leave a light trail as they move from my shoulders down my arms. “You don’t know how much I’ve fantasized about this moment.”

I squeak as he darts forward for another heated kiss. I can feel his erection against my leg. I am just as turned on as he is. The slow build up now is more than I can stand.

“Why do you get all the fun?” I rasp in his ear. “I want my turn, too.” I tilt my head to the empty space between us. “Lie back.”

Spencer lifts his leg off me. “What are you doing…?” he begins, but cuts off when I start to kiss him and run my hands down his body. I steal his move and detach my lips to start raining hot kisses down his neck, over his chest, and right through the sexy midline of his abs.

My mouth reaches his belly button. I close my eyes and rub my cheek against his skin, breathing in deep and savoring the moment foreplay transitions into sex.

“Paige…” Spencer breathes.

I flip my hair back and give him my sultriest look. “Shh,” I whisper. My fingers hook through the hem of his cotton pants. “I want this.”

In a slow motion, I pull Spencer’s remaining clothes, boxers and all, down his legs. His cock springs free, thick and pulsing with blood.

I smile and lick my lips. I’ve fantasized about this moment, too, ever since that morning in his room.

I feel particularly naughty. So, I decide to drag this out. To make him wait. I continue the leisurely pull of his sweats down his legs. He watches me, his head propped up against the pillows. His breathing is deep yet guarded. His pupils look absolutely enormous in the light.

When he’s fully naked, I sit on my heels and unbutton the clasp to my jeans. I don’t break eye contact. He starts to rise to help. I click my tongue.

“Nuh-uh,” I warn. “You’re not allowed to touch. Just watch.”

Spencer collapses back with an enormous exhale. “You’re driving me crazy, kitten.”

I shimmy my jeans down. All I have left on are my baby blue boy shorts. “I know,” I say, offering a devilish smile. The thrill of kindling this type of reaction in him is intoxicating. I’ve never felt such power before.