Never Let Go (28 page)

The guy who saw us first stands on the arm of the couch. “I think Spencer did forget, boys!” he calls out. “Should we remind him?”

Callous laughter and boorish barking erupts from the guys. Spencer glares at them. “Derek, shut the fuck up! Sit down!”

Derek, ignoring Spencer, starts to wave his hands around in the air as if holding a baton. “Ready?” he asks his brothers. “And a one, and a two…”

Twenty out-of-tune voices fill the air in a half-chant, half-song:

Mondays to Wednesdays for class,

Thursdays and Fridays for chasing ass,

Parties on Fridays for hos,

Saturdays only for bros!

Everyone breaks out into wild laughter at the end. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spencer turning red. He takes an angry step toward his brothers.

“How could you forget, Spence?” Derek accuses, trying hard to hold in his laughter. “You were the one who came up with that song!”

That
pronouncement is followed by even more laughter. I feel Spencer seething beside me.

“Fucking hell, that’s
ENOUGH
!” he screams, loud enough to be heard over everyone else.

The laughter dies. Some of the guys look at Spencer, astounded. Others look confused. For a long, tense moment, the only sound I can hear is Spencer’s heavy breathing.

Acting on impulse, I step around him. “I have a question,” I say out loud. Those eyes turn on me again. I swallow and speak before I can chicken out.

“What are Sundays for?”

Derek blinks. For a second, I think I’ve overstepped some invisible boundary.

Then he falls back into the couch and starts laughing uncontrollably.

Everyone else takes his cue. They start laughing with him. Not out of hostility, but mirth.

“You,” Derek says, pointing a finger at me, “are all right. What’s your name?”

“Paige.”

“
Paige
!” he exclaims, as if my name is the most important thing in the world. He spreads his arms wide. “Welcome to Sigma Pi, Paige!”

His welcome is echoed by the others.

“Paige!”

“Welcome, Paige!”

“Spencer’s girl!”

Derek hops off the couch and runs over. He headlocks Spencer and jostles with him playfully. Both are laughing when they separate.

Derek winks at me. “Sorry if we spooked ya. Just had to make sure you were cool, that’s all.”

I notice Spencer smiling proudly behind Derek. “Did I pass?” I ask innocently.

Derek laughs. “Hell yeah, girl! We’ve only got one real rule here.” He turns around. “Boys?”

“
NO BITCHES ON THE WEEKEND!
” they cry out in unison, laughing and slapping each other on the back.

I can’t help but laugh at their exuberance. I’ve never seen so much joviality in a group of men.

Spencer slides his arm around my waist. “Let’s go somewhere quieter,” he whispers. To everyone else, he says, “I’ve got to show Paige the rest of the tour, guys.”

“What? You’re taking her already?” A short-ish guy with a great smile complains. “We’ve only just met. Don’t be greedy, dude!”

“Yeah, come on,” a guy holding one of the controllers pipes up. “We’ve had piss all for eye candy today. The only other girls we’ve seen were Collin’s sisters, and they’re both bust
-ed
!”

“Shut up, asshole,” the guy next to him—Collin?—defends. “They look better than anyone
you’ve
hooked up with, and at least my mom doesn’t post nudes of herself online.”

The group explodes into raucous laughter. The guy holding the controller turns beet-red.

“Come on,” Spencer pulls me away. “I think you’ve had enough of my frat brothers for one day.”

Derek flashes an apologetic smile at me as Spencer leads me up the stairs.

The second floor, in comparison, is blissfully quiet. The stairs open to a long hall filled with many closed doors. We pass the first, and I hear a faint, rhythmic
thump-thump-thump
.

A few seconds later, a girl’s shrill moan sounds from behind that door.

Spencer chuckles. “This place is a zoo,” he says. He opens the grand doors at the end of the hall and gestures me in.

I step through and do a double take. This bedroom is nothing like the rest of the house.

It’s clean, for one. The queen bed in the center of the room is done up with crisp white sheets. Bookshelves run around the outside walls. They are stacked with books of every size and color. The one window in the room is enormous, giving an awesome view of the back yard. There’s a skylight above the bed that lets in plenty of light.

Spencer closes the door and twists the knob to lock it. “What do you think?” he asks.

“This is your room?”

He shrugs. “More like my library. The first year I was in the frat, I brought so many books here the guys threatened to make a bonfire out of ‘em. They said I have no need for all of them.” He pauses and looks at the shelves. “I made them a bet. I told them that if I could get through what I brought before summer, they had to give me the biggest room in Sigma Pi.
Permanently
.” He laughs. “It wasn’t even close. I finished them by winter break. This room has been mine ever since.”

“
All
of these books?” I ask, amazed.

He laughs again. “No. I didn’t have so many back then. A third, maybe?”

“A third,” I whisper, looking around. There are so
many
. “How did you do it?”

“I speed read,” he shrugs. “I taught myself as a kid. Most people can read about three hundred words per minute with full comprehension. I can do nine.”

“Wow,” I mutter. “So you’re like, some type of prodigy? How many hidden talents do you have, Spencer?”

His eyes shine. “There’s one you haven’t seen yet.”

My cheeks warm when I realize what he means. He laughs.

“So!” Spencer announces, sitting on the bed. He motions for me to join him. I do. “What was the big emergency that you called me? You sounded pretty distraught.”

I shy back. “No I didn’t.”

“Paige.” Spencer lowers his head to look at me. “I can tell you’re upset.”

I whip my head to the other side, away from him.

“It’s okay,” Spencer assures me gently. He reaches out and puts his hand over mine. He’s warm.

Somehow, that simple gesture steadies me. I bite my lip and slowly turn toward him. His eyes are kind. Understanding.

“It’s okay, kitten,” Spencer repeats, his voice low. “Did something happen with Katy last night after I left? You can tell me. I want you to have the freedom to trust me. But,” he pauses, “I won’t push anything on you.”

I smile and look down. “Thank you, Spencer,” I say softly. “That means a lot to me.”

“I’m glad that you felt you could come to me,” he says. He turns his entire body toward me, sitting cross-legged on the bed. “
That
means a lot to
me
.”

I smile at him and chew the inside of my cheek, stalling for time. I
do
trust Spencer, for what it’s worth. And even though I came here because of my problems, now that I’m with him… I don’t want to talk about Andrew. I don’t want a heavy discussion to ruin the mood between us.

Not yet. Right now, all I want is a distraction.

My eyes roam Spencer’s face. Over his nose, the curve of his lips, the faint stubble on his jaw. That electricity that has always been between us is there now. It’s subdued, and somehow more honest. But, I can feel it radiating from his touch.

“You’re very quiet, kitten,” Spencer says. The words come in a single breath, just inches from my face.

When did he get so close?

I realize that I’m leaning forward so that our noses are almost touching. Any farther, and I think I’ll tip over.

My lips part slightly. I can feel Spencer’s warm breath on my face. Is this what I really came here for? To feel comforted? To do…
this
?

Without thinking, I press my lips to his. Tension oozes out of my body. I close my eyes and let myself be consumed by the connection.

It’s a slow kiss. Unrushed. Warmth floods into me. I don’t feel so alone anymore.

Spencer takes his time exploring my mouth. His tongue strokes my upper lip, sweet and gentle. I push him back and go on all fours above him. His head hits the pillow. His hands start moving up and down my arms, leaving hot paths of enflamed skin in their wake.

The first brush of our lips was about comfort. Now, arousal is starting to take comfort’s place. I can feel it rising in my core, heating the space between my legs.

I steady myself on Spencer’s shoulders and deepen the kiss.

My tongue slides into his mouth. I can feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes below me. I’ve never kissed anyone like this before. This is sweet, but oh-so-hot.

My hips start gyrating back and forth of their own accord. My hands start moving up and down his delicious, hard body. The memory of him in bed flashes in my mind.

That
spurs me on even more. I press my body against Spencer’s and kiss him more fervently.

“Whoa, whoa,” he mutters, easing me away. “Slow down there, sweetheart. You’re getting me excited.”

I feel the growing bulge beneath Spencer’s sweats and shoot him a devilish smile. “Isn’t that the point?” I purr.

Spencer smiles back at me. I feel greedy, so I bend down to resume our kiss.

He stops me before I can get there.

“What are you doing?” I ask, taking a deep breath to fill my lungs with his delectable scent. “Don’t you want this?”

“I do,” Spencer agrees. His thumb trails over my cheek, clipping the corner of my mouth. A shiver of pleasure runs down my spine. “But not like this.”

I sit up, my back going very straight.
Is this going to happen every time I try to seduce him?

“What do you mean, ‘not like this’?” I demand.

Spencer picks up my hands and brings them to his lips. He kisses my knuckles. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, Paige.”

“Take advantage of me,” I repeat flatly. “This sounds a lot like the conversation we had in your shop. I can assure you, you’re not taking advantage of me.
I want you
.” My nerves raise my voice an octave.

Spencer smiles and shakes his head. “It isn’t the right time. Not now.”

I groan and roll my eyes. “Spencer, I’m not drunk. I know what I’m doing!” I lean forward to try kissing him again.

Again, he stops me inches from his face. “You
are
very persistent,” he muses, looking deep into my eyes.

“And
you’re
being a bad partner,” I complain. “Why are you so skittish?” I can hardly believe I just called him that, but the role reversal’s thrown me off. Usually, that pointed finger would be aimed at me.

“‘Skittish.’” He chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m
skittish
because you’re not acting like yourself. I don’t
want
to stop, Paige. But I don’t want to prey on your vulnerability, either.

“Now,” he turns over and drops me to the side, “tell me why you really called me this morning. You sounded upset.”

“I’m upset because you keep thwarting my efforts!”

“Nope.” He clicks his tongue. “Nice try, but I know something happened before you called me. What was it?”

I pause. How does he know? Am I really that transparent?

I’m sure he senses my hesitation, because he puts an arm around my waist and pulls me close. “You can tell me,” he whispers in my ear. “I want nothing more than for you to trust me. Anything we do…” his hand traces circles over my hipbone, “…will be meaningless if I don’t have that.”

He tucks my chin up so I look in his eyes. “And you are
far
from meaningless to me, Paige.”

There he goes again with those heart-melting words. It’s not fair for Spencer to have such a sweet and caring side. It would have been much easier if, in private, he stuck to the same rah-rah-look-at-me persona he displays in public.

He starts stroking my hair. “Tell me,” he whispers. “Tell me what’s bothering you.”

I shiver. “I can’t.”

He places his chin over my head. I fit perfectly under the curve of his neck. “I want to help.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Do I dare tell him what happened with Andrew? Can I trust him not to overreact?

Andrew kissed me. But that isn’t what is bothering me most. I finally figured out that I want Spencer… without reserve, without hesitation, I
want
Spencer. But a part of me is still afraid.

What if I’m not as ready as I think I am? What if I’m not enough for him? When we were kissing, I could forget my fears. Now, my conscious mind is babbling.

I decide to draw focus to a more neutral subject that’s also bothering me.

“Katy’s moving out,” I blurt. “She’ll be gone Monday. She’s leaving for the year.”

“Hmm,” Spencer intones. “Is it because of what happened with the
accident
?”

“Yes. Her family found out. They want her home.”

“It’ll be good for her,” Spencer says. “It might give her some perspective. What do you think?”

“I think…” I trail off and sigh. “I think you’re right. But I’m going to miss her. A lot.”

“Of course you are,” Spencer murmurs. “But it’s not like she’s gone for good, right? She’ll come back next year. And you two can keep in touch.”

“That’s what everybody says,” I mumble. I feel the hot sting of tears behind my eyes. “But friendships fade. People change. They take different paths. I’m afraid of that happening to us.”

“She’s your best friend, isn’t she?” Spencer asks.

“Yes.”

“Well, if your friendship is as strong as I think it is, then you have nothing to worry about.” Spencer scoots up to sit straighter against the headboard. “I also know Kate’s pretty damn loyal. She won’t forget you.”

“But what if I need her
now
? Not next year?” I sulk. “How am I supposed to finish this year alone?”

“Kitten, you are anything but alone,” Spencer tells me. “There are people around who care. More than they probably should.” He touches my face again. “More than they have any right to.”