Needing You (10 page)

The bar starts to pick up a little while later which is good because I actually make a nice amount of tips for a late afternoon shift. I head out around 8 p.m. and go home to relax and snuggle up on my couch.  I end up falling asleep during some stupid reality show and luckily no nightmares wake me tonight.

Chapter 11

The week has flown by and it’s already Saturday and we have a band tonight at the bar. I didn’t look to see who was playing, but I hope they are good.  This past week has been a nice break from school and I kept myself busy with work, reading, taking pictures, and trying to do anything that would make me not think about “him.”  I had a few more nightmares, which sucks, but I’m dealing with them the best I can.

I haven’t heard a word from Tucker, though my mind tends to think about him and how fun and easy it is hangout with him. I do miss him and his friendship, but this is for the best. People like me, who are completely fucked-up, do not need to be around other people. I don’t want to rub off on him and make things suck for him too. I deal with enough of my own bullshit on a daily basis. The more I think about it, Tuck probably already moved on and is hanging out or having sex with a slew of new women.  Tuck told me he doesn’t do the whole friendship with girls but with me he did, so yeah he probably went back to his old ways.  Good for him.  Actually it sucks, okay so fine I am a little jealous but who wouldn’t be?  I mean the man is freaking beautiful and has a great personality. Damn, I suck.

I head into work and say hey to Davie and Lou at the door.  This place is already slammed and now my interest is peaking to find out who the band is.   I say hi to Eddie and then go behind the bar to where Marcus is serving customers.  I hop right to it and help him out with the line that has formed.  I see the band’s stuff is set up on the stage but still haven’t had the chance to ask whose playing. Finally when we get a break, I ask Marcus who the band is and he says “The Dirty Devils.” I never heard of them but they seem to bring a crowd so they must be good. Finally when the band gets on stage around 10 p.m. the crowd is going crazy and when I look I can see why. This is a group of drop-dead gorgeous men.  They look like they should be models more so than in a band.  Hopefully they can sing as well as they look cause holy hell, it’s hot in here.  The band starts and damn if they can’t sing.  These guys look like they got the whole package. 
Yum
.  I watch the band play and see all the girls swoon over them.  It’s rather funny, but I can see why.

After a while, the band takes a break and Marcus and I get slammed again. I am surprised Natalie isn’t here because she always works Saturday nights but I don’t dwell on that for too long.   Eddie yells for me to take a break and I decide to go outside and get some fresh air.  It is hot in this place. I head outside and have a seat and enjoy the cool air. It’s pretty quiet out here, which is such a nice break and definitely needed.

All of a sudden I see two guys appear in front of me, normally I would freak out, but I see Louie standing at the door and know I’m okay.  The guys introduce themselves and low and behold they are two guys from the band.  Trust me, I couldn’t forget their looks if I tried. They introduce themselves to me as Matt and Sean.  I say hi and they seem nice.  Unfortunately, the more they talk, the more I realize they are self-absorbed dickheads. Clearly, these are two guys who know they look good and use it to their advantage.  Ugh, not interested.  After a few minutes of mindless conversation, I wish them well and head back into the bar.  The rest of the night I am a bit annoyed and turned off because I realize how conceited they are.  I hate people who act like everyone owes them something.  My family falls into the category, as well. 

Thankfully, the rest of the evening flies by and after restocking the coolers and getting everything back in order, I say my goodbyes and head out the door.  As I exit the door, I hear my name being called and I turn around to find Matt standing there. 

Matt says, “Hey Harper, me and the guys are going to go and hang out at our hotel, you should come and hang out.”  He is more so telling me than asking. Clearly, I know what he wants and no not going to happen, he can go find a groupie or something.

“Sorry Matt, I can’t tonight. Thanks though. Have fun,” I say and then start to turn around and walk away. 

“Why not? You know you want to hang out, I got the vibe from you earlier that you’re more than interested.”  As Matt is saying this, he is getting closer and closer to me, so I start backing up. 

“No Matt, I didn’t give you that vibe earlier. I was being nice. I am not interested in anything with you or any of your band mates. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to head home.” 

“Harper, I am not a man that is told no.  I know you want me and I want you so come on, I will make it worth your while.” Matt says smugly.  I can smell the beer on his breath and as much as my insides are turning and I’m scared, I will not show him that.

“You can find someone else; it will not be me tonight.” I said angrily. 

“I like your feistiness, I wonder if you’re that way in the sheets,” he says with a smug look on his face.

“That is not going to happen, I’m not going anywhere with you.” I all but yell at him.

At this point he now has his hands on my arm. This is not looking good. Where the hell is everyone? I can feel myself start to get nervous and scared. “Harper, like I said I always get what I want, and right now I want you.” 

“Matt let go of me. You can go and have whoever you want just not me, now let me go.” I said angrily as I tried to pull my arm away. Before Matt could say anything else a voice from behind me says, “I believe she said she’s not interested, let her go now,” the voice demanded.

I would know that voice anywhere! 

“Look dude, I was here first, we’re having a personal conversation so butt the fuck out,” Matt said.

Tucker walked right up to him, “Well unfortunately for you Harper is already taken; now take your damn hands off of her before I remove them for you.”  The look on Tuck’s face was almost scary, but I was very thankful for his help in that moment.  Matt let go of my arm and just walked away without another word.

“Thank you Tucker.”

“Harp, why are you out here all by yourself? You know it is not safe,” he said a bit irritated.

“I went to leave and he came out and called from behind, I had no idea he was a douche bag like that.”

“Harp most men are like that so stop walking home by yourself,” he says bitterly.

“Tucker I don’t drive, I have walked home numerous times without any issues; it’s not a big deal.”

“So what went down tonight wasn’t a big deal?  Really, because it didn’t look like you had it under control,” he said angrily.

“I’m not saying that, but I don’t usually have to deal with that. I will be more careful from now on,” I said softly.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” he says a bit nicer.

He walks me to his car and opens the door for me and I get in without saying a word.  What is he doing back already? Why is he here?  Was he in the bar earlier and I missed him? So many questions ran through my head, but I wouldn’t ask one of them. He slides into the driver seat and turns the car on and drives towards my dorm. There is complete silence for most of the way on the short drive.  As Tucker pulls into a parking spot, he parks, gets out and opens my door for me.  “Thank you for helping me back there and for taking me home Tucker, I appreciate it.”

“I’m glad I was there Harper, I would hate to find out what could have happened if I hadn’t shown up.  But look Harp we need to talk.  What are your plans tomorrow?” he asks sweetly.

“Probably just taking pictures and relaxing,” I say nonchalantly.

“I didn’t know you take pictures, but wait, do you work tomorrow?” he asks looking a bit confused.

“No, I have the day off tomorrow,” I state

“Okay, well I will come over tomorrow and we can talk,” Tucker says.

“Tucker look it’s probably for the best if we don’t talk,” I say shyly.

“Oh no Harper, there is plenty we need to talk about and we are going to discuss things. You’ve shut me out for the past few weeks but not anymore.”  Before I can say anything else, Tucker kisses my forehead and says, “I’ll see you in a couple hours, get some rest,” and then he gets into his car and is gone.

I walk inside my building dumbfounded, what the hell did I just do? I head inside get showered and crawl into bed. I am beyond tired, but cannot sleep with the anticipation of what Tucker wants to talk about.  Eventually I do succumb to sleep and dream of that sexy brown-eyed devil man.

Chapter 12

I wake up to a knock at the door. I check the time and it reads 11:48 a.m. Damn, I slept in longer than planned.  I get up and walk to the door and open it to a sexy looking Tucker standing in the door with his hands full of food. 

“Good morning Harp; I brought you breakfast, well lunch,” he says with a sexy smile.

“Good morning, come in.” I step aside so he can enter. I know I look like shit having just woken up, but too late now.  He sets the bags of great smelling food on the counter and starts unloading them. “I’m gonna grab a quick shower, I’ll be right back,” I say as I start heading towards the bathroom.

“That’s fine, take your time,” he states sweetly.

I hurry in the shower and brush my teeth and then get dressed quickly and make my way back out to the sexy man sitting on my couch watching TV.  “So what’s for lunch?” I ask as I enter the living room.

“I got us subs to eat,” he says with a sexy smile.

I get us each a drink as he carries our lunch into the living room and we sit and eat quietly. This should feel awkward but it doesn’t, not with Tuck, probably because we’ve done this before.

“This is delicious, thank you,” I say as I’m practically salivating over my food. “Not a problem,” Tuck says with a laugh.  As we finish our lunch, I throw the trash out and then come back into the living room and sit on the opposite end of the couch from Tuck.

“So,” he says.

“What’s going on in that head of yours Tucker?” I ask, hoping he will just spit it out. I hate having to drag information out of people. 

“We need to talk about what happened between us. I want to understand why you ran away from me all of a sudden,” he states matter of fact.

“I didn’t run away. It’s just better this way,” I say without elaborating.

“Not good enough Harp, you need to explain it to me. Because shit was going well between us and then bam you just changed and started ignoring me,” he says looking intently at me.

“Look Tucker I don’t know what to tell you.  This is just the way it is.”  I say sounding unsure of myself.

“I want you to talk to me, I have a plan,” he says all serious.

“What’s your plan?” Oh goodness what in the world could he possibly come up with.

“I will share a secret of my past if you share a secret of your past. It’s a give and take deal. This way you can tell me what you want and we can work our way up,” he says sweetly.

“Who says I have a secret past?” I ask nervously.

“Seriously, I’ve gotten to know you and I know a secret past when I see one. I want you to talk to me and trust me.  You are the first female I have trusted in a long time.  This isn’t easy for me to do this but here I am,” he said through hopeful eyes.

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about my past,” I quietly state.

“That’s why we will move in a slow pace. Harper, I’m not going to pressure you to tell me anything but you need to let someone in, let me in,” he says longingly.

“I do just fine by myself,” I say angrily.

“Harper you told me you have no friends, you don’t speak to your family, and clearly something happened that has you so closed off to everyone.  When you started to get a little closer to me, you ran like hell.  Don’t tell me you do fine by yourself because everyone needs someone to turn to.  I know...I have been there,” he says sympathetically. 

“I don’t know if I can do this. I’m sorry,” I say sadly.  It’s the truth; I can’t go back through my past and rehash all those painful memories. 

“Harp, listen to me. That is why we will take it slow, baby steps if you will. No it won’t be easy but shit it’s not going to be easy for me either, but I’m willing.  Can you try, for me?” he says sweetly. 

Ugh. “Tucker why me?  You can have any girl you want, why do you want to figure out why I’m so messed up?” I ask sadly.

I look away because clearly I’m shocked, but he puts his hand under my chin so I have no choice but to look at him, “Harp, because I like you. I enjoy your company and for the first time in a long time things seem better because of you.”

God he looks so sexy and he’s being so sweet but damn can I do this? As much as I don’t want to, I do want to for him. But what if he runs like hell when I tell him my past? I’ll be more broken and messed up than I am now. I hate this.

“Fine, I’ll try but no promises,” I say with a sad smile.

“Great, you won’t regret this, you’ll see,” he says with a huge sexy smile on his face.  I can’t help but laugh at his optimism, but I got a hell of a lot of dirty laundry that can’t allow me to think this is going to end well. 

“Can we not start today though? I rather just have a relaxing day before having to dredge up the bad shit,” I ask sadly.

“Sure, but you are stuck hanging out with me for the day,” he says with a laugh.

We spend part of the day hanging out at my apartment and then he comes with me as I photograph different areas of town.  I even snap a few pictures of the sexy devil man himself. This way if he does leave, at least I will have something to remember him, like I would ever be able to forget his sexy face or well-built body.  

He takes my camera from me and snaps some pictures of me and then says we need to take a picture together so we do.  We joke and laugh and I cannot remember a time where I had this much fun. The mood is light and we run around town taking pictures and hanging out. 

We stop at a pizza place and have pizza for dinner and then a while later we head back to my dorm.  When we got back to my dorm, we watch some TV and just talk about anything and nothing. It is relaxing and fun.  Before I knew it I pass out on the couch.