Needing You #2 - Wanting Him (8 page)

Around 11:30 p.m.
, I decide to take my break.  The band is still playing and the crowd is watching them, so we’re not as busy at the bar.

“I’m going to take my break,” I tell Harper and Marcus as I make my way towards the side door.

I head outside and enjoy the cool crisp air.  I need a break from everything.

I look at my phone thinking I may have a message from Parker, but I don’t.  Nope, nothing.  I mean he knows I’m working, but still. 

I sit down on one of the old crates to rest my feet, then shoot Parker a text.

             
Me- Hey babe, I miss you.

I wait
my entire break, never receiving a response. I want this night to be over; unfortunately I still have a little over two hours left.

“Hey Natalie, how are you?” Cameron from Twisted Mafia says.

“I’m good.  You guys on break?”

“Yeah, just a short one.”

“Okay, great set tonight.”

“Thanks.  The fans seem to like it.”

“They sure do.  You have quite a few fans tonight,” I say with a smile.

“Yeah, it’s nice to see so many people come out to hear us.”

“Well great job.  See ya around,” I say as I stand up from the crate I’m sitting on.

“Thanks,
hey Natalie, can I ask you something?” Cameron says stopping me.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I was wondering if you would like to go out with me sometime, dinner or something?”

“I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend,” I respond with a polite smile.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize.”

“No worries.  Have a good night.”

“You too Natalie,” he says as I turn and head inside.

T
he bar is crazy busy so I bust my ass serving drinks, which in turn is making the time fly by.

Before I know it
, we announce last call and are now restocking the coolers.

“Are you alright?” Harper all but whispers to me.

“I’m fine.”

“No, seriously, are you okay?” she says looking really worried.

“Harp, I have no idea what he’s done.  I’m fine,” I tell her again.

“If you need me
, you can call me anytime,” she says looking serious.

“Thanks, but I’m sure I’ll be alright,” I say
, trying to give her a real smile.

The patrons are all told to leave.  We are almost done cleaning up.  I can’t wait to get home and crawl into bed, hoping to put this day behind me.

After leaving the bar, I make the short drive home.  I’m thankful that Nora’s not home tonight, I need to figure out what the hell is going on with my boyfriend.

I pull into the driveway and am surprised when I see Parker sitting on the steps.

“Hey,” I say as I shut my car door.

“Hey,” he says as he comes down the stairs and hugs me tightly.

“What are you doing here?” I ask surprised.  He’s supposed to be on tour.

“We need to talk,” he says all serious.

“Come on,” I say as I head up the stairs toward my apartment.  I unlock the door and head inside with Parker in tow.

“Does your manager know you’re here?” I ask before he gets the chance to say anything.

“Yeah, he knows,” he says looking sorrowful.

I take a seat on the couch, “What do you want to talk about?” I ask, hoping to get this conversation over with.  Sadly, my stomach is churning.  I don’t have a good feeling about this.

“Fuck!  Nat…I don’t know how to tell you this,” he says as he runs his hands through his hair, pulling at the strands.

“Tell me what?” I ask nervously.

I watch Parker pace my living room floor a few minutes without saying a word.

“Parker, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?” I ask worriedly.

“Nat you know I love you right?” he says as he comes over and sits beside me staring me straight in the face.

“Yes.
”

“Baby
, please know what I’m about to say doesn’t change the way I feel about you,” he says worriedly.

“Parker spit it out already,” I say frustrated.

“Shit. Nat, I need you to believe me.  You know me, I need you to trust me,” he says looking hopeful at me.

“I do trust you.  Now tell me what is going on?”

“A month ago I got drunk with the guys when we went out to a bar.  I don’t really remember anything from that night.  I remember getting drunk and passing out, but that’s it,” he says nervously.

“Okay.”

“Well, now there’s a girl that’s come forward saying she slept with me that night and she’s pregnant,” he says looking grave.

“So you slept with some girl that you don’t remember sleeping with and now she’s pregnant?” I ask
, making sure I heard him correctly.

“Yeah,” he says sadly.

“How do you know she’s not lying?” I ask, looking at him like he’s an idiot.

I watch his face go pale and know immediately he didn’t tell me everything.

“I’m not one hundred percent positive, but she has pictures,” he says through clenched teeth.

“
Pictures?” I ask, not understanding.

“They look
real,” he says gravely.

“So that’s why you came here to my apartment, to tell me you cheated on me and got a bitch pregnant?” I yell as I stand up, wanting to get away from him.

He reaches for me, but I push his hands away and head to the kitchen.  Wine, I need wine and lots of it.

Reality is setting i
n.  Parker cheated on me.

“Baby please, you
gotta believe me. I don’t remember any of it,” he says worriedly.

“So that makes it alright?  That gives you a free pass?” I snap.

“Shit, no it doesn’t.  I need you to know that I would never willingly cheat on you,” he says as he now stands in front of me.

“The fact of the matter is that you did cheat. You cheated and now she’s pregnant!” I yell.  I don’t care if I wake my neighbors up right now.  I’m hurt.  I’m pissed.

“Nat, please, we can fix this, we can make this work,” he pleads.

“I think you should leave,” I say quietly.

“Baby no, let me try to fix this,” he says hopeful.

“You can’t fix this.  You slept with someone else while we we
re together.  You can’t undo that.  It’s done.  You need to leave now,” I say as I take a large gulp of wine.  Screw the glass, I need the fucking bottle.

“Please,” he starts to say.

“GET OUT.” I yell.  My eyes are full of tears just waiting to break free.  I will not cry in front of him. I will not cry in front of him.

“Nat I’m sorry.  I love you,” he says in one last attempt.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have cheated.  You need to go,” I say, as I open the front door for him to leave.

I can see the sadness
written all over his face.  But how do I overcome someone cheating on me?  How can you say you love someone if you cheat?  It’s all lies.

Once Parker walks out the do
or, I slam it shut, locking it.  I make it to the couch with my bottle of wine before the tears fall rapidly from my eyes.

I knew it was too good to be true.  I had my doubts that we could make it through
his touring, I should have listened to my gut.  Maybe then my heart wouldn’t be hurting so much right now.

Chapter
Nine

I wake up the next morning with the worst headache ever.  Guess that’s what I get for finishing almost two bottles of wine.  I pop some aspirin and drink some water in hopes that last night really didn’t happen.

I get one look in the mirror to realize that last night did, in fact, happen.  Parker cheated on me and now he’s having a kid to someone else, other than me. 

It makes me thankful that me missing my pills the weekend I went to see him the first time, didn’t affect me.  I got my friend a few weeks later, thank God.

How did my life get so screwed up?  I thought I found a guy who was serious about me, but instead he cheats on me.

I don’t care who you are, drinking does not give you a free pass to make mistakes.  Whether you know what’s going on or not, you allowed yourself to get into that type of situation and now you have to live with the
consequences.

My head is still throbbing
, so I lay back down on the couch. I turn on the television trying to block out the past ten hours of my life.

Unfortunately, the tears start back up
.  I can’t stop crying.  I love him and he just broke my heart.

Sometime later I hear my sister coming up the stairs.  I don’t even have the energy to hide my red, puffy eyes.

“Hey,” she says, as she walks through the door.

“Hey,” I mumble looking back at the television; looking anywhere but at my sister.

“Who the heck did you have over here last night?” she says surprising me.

“What? No one,” I say back.

“You drank all that wine,” she asks curiously, while eyeing the two empty bottles of wine sitting on the coffee table.

Crap.  I didn’t throw the bottles out.

“Umm…yeah I did,” I say, pulling the blanket closer to my face trying to hide it.

“Seriously Nat, what’s going on?” she says as she steps closer to me, “Hell
, what happened?  Why are you crying?” she says worriedly as she takes a good look at me.

“Parker and I broke up,” I tell her as the tears start to fall again.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry.  Why didn’t you call me?” she says as she sits down beside me trying to comfort me.

“It happened at 2:30 a.m.” I tell her.

“Why?  I thought you guys were doing really well,” she says surprised.

“He cheated on me,” I tell her, letting out the fact that he’s going to be a dad.

“HE WHAT?” she asks sounding angry and confused.

“You heard me.”

“No, he loves you, he wouldn’t cheat on you.  You’re missing something,” she says defending him.

“Nora, he was here waiting for me when I got off work last night.  He got drunk, doesn’t remember much, but he did it,” I say, trying to stop the tears.

“I am so sorry,” she says as she hugs me, allowing me to cry on her shoulders.

“I’ll be okay,” I assure her after a few minutes of crying. 

“I don’t think you should work tonight,” she tells me truthfully.

“Work, yeah, that’s not going
happen.  I’ll call Eddie then.”

“So we’ll hang out the rest of the weekend, just you and me,” she says
, surprising me.

“You don’t have to change your plans,” I tell her sympathetically.

“You need me, so I’ll be here.  That’s what sisters do,” she says shocking me yet again.  Sometimes she’s the perfect sister, other times not so much.

“Thanks Nor,” I tell her with a weak smile.

I take a nice long hot shower and feel a little better when I come out of my bedroom dressed in comfortable, lazy clothes.

The rest of the day goes by with us watching movies, both comedy and horror films, followed by pigging out on all the snacks we have in the house.  Around 7:00 p.m. I called
Eddie to let him know I won’t be in tonight.

Parker

Do I know I messed up with Nat, yes!  Yet here I sit at PowerTrips hoping to see her tonight to try to get her to understand. 

I thought about going back to her apartment
, but I don’t because I don’t want Nora, if she’s there, to flip out on me.

So, instead here I sit waiting, hoping to get a few minutes to talk to her, make sure she’s okay, and to know how sorry I am that this happened.

It’s going on 8:15 p.m., I surprised she’s not here yet.  Nat’s not one to call off, so I’m sure she’ll be in.  Maybe she doesn’t start until 9:00 p.m. tonight.

“She’s not working tonight,” Harper says
, pulling me out of my trance.

“What? She was scheduled off?” I ask surprised.  She usually works Saturday nights.

“No, she called off a little while ago,” Harper tells me.

“Shit.”

“Care to fill me in on what happened between you two?” she asks with a slightly irritated tone.

“I fucked up, that’s what,” I tell her truthfully.

“How?” she asks.

For the next ten minutes I fill Harp in on what happened with Claudia, the girl who is supposedly pregnant with my child.  I also fill her in on the conversation I had with Nat last night. 

“So why are you here then Parker?” she asks confused.

“I’m not giving up on her.  I swear I don’t remember doing anything.  I would never set out to hurt
her.  I just need her to be on my side,” I say with a frustrated sigh.

“She’s never going to t
ake you back.  You know as well as I do what she went through as a child with her father.  She won’t live that same way.”

“Damn it, I didn’t even think of that.  But I’m nothing like her father,” he snaps.

“You’re right you aren’t, but her father cheated numerous times on her mom, and you cheated on her, whether you meant to or not, you did.  She won’t take you back,” she says piercing me with her words.

“There’s got to be something I can do to make this right,” I say hopeful.

“I think you should go back on your tour and finish it up and then see where things take you,” she says, like it’s a simple resolution.

“I’m on tour for nine more fucking months Harp.  I need to figure this shit out now,” I say with venom in my voice.  I don’t care, I’m angry.  I want my life back, I want my girlfriend back.  Not some girl who’s saying she slept with me and is pregnant, ruining my life.

“Sorry Parker, but you should have thought about that before making a stupid life changing decision,” she snaps.

“Are you talking about going on tour?” I ask surprised.

“NO! I’m talking about sleeping with some trashy bimbo.”

“I know Ha
rp, you don’t need to remind me,” I say feeling defeated.

“What doesn’t she need to remind you of?” Tuck says as he approaches the table I’m sitting at.

“Him, cheating on Nat and knocking some bitch up,” Harper says like its old news.

“So you talked to Nat I take it,” Tuck says
, looking intently at me.

“
Yeah, last night,” I mutter, and then grab my drink taking a long sip.

“Don’t you think you should give that up, considering that’s what caused this problem in the first place?” Harper says looking at my drink.

“Babe, don’t you need to get back to work?” Tuck says to Harper, reminding her she does have a job to do.

“Yeah I do.  See you later,” she says and then she’s gone.

“It didn’t go well did it?” Tuck asks.

“Nope, not at all.  She never wants to see me again,” I say
, ready to drown myself in my drink.

“She’s hurt right now.  She loves you though, she will come around,” Tuck says optimistically.

“You don’t really know Nat, man.  She’s not going to come around.  If she comes around, it’s to cut off my balls and choke me with them,” I tell him truthfully.

“She wouldn’t do that,” Tuck says with a laugh.

I look at him with a serious expression, “You think Harp wouldn’t do that to you if you messed up?”

“Shit, you’re right.  Damn women are crazy,” Tuck says nervously.

“Told you.”

“Well, I will keep an eye out for Nat and keep you posted.  You need to get back on tour, the guys are going to be pissed,” Tuck says.

“I know, I leave tonight.  I was just hoping to catch Nat before I left,” I say feeling defeated.

“You can’t do anything right now.  Just give her space, hopefully she’ll come around,” he says sounding hopeful again.

“We’ll see,” I say as I finish my beer, “Have you told Harp what’s going on with you?”

“No.”

“You need to tell her.”

“I know, it’s just not a good time yet.”

“When is it ever a good time?”

“I don’t know.”

“She knows about Bianca helping you?”

“No, she doesn’t know anything.”

“Fuck.  You need to tell her.  The longer you wait the worse it’s going to get.”

“I know.  I don’t know how to tell her though.”

“You need to come right out and say it.  She’ll help you.”

“I know
, but she has enough going on.  I can’t add more to her plate.”

“You think she wouldn’t want to know?  Shit that girl loves you, she’d do anything for you,” I tell him truthfully.

“I know.”

“When do you go in for more tests?”

“Tuesday.”

“Tell her before then so she can go along.”

“We’ll see,” he says solemnly.

“I
gotta go.  If I can do anything let me know.”

“I will. Thanks.”

“See ya,” I tell Tuck as I stand up and head out of the bar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few weeks get back to normal.  I go to school, work and take care of my sister.  Harper keeps bugging me to hang out, and see how I’m feeling, but what do you say to someone who asks that?

That I’m devastated, Parker broke my heart.  All I want to do is lie around and cry my eyes out.  NO, I can’t say that.  So instead, I put on my best fake look telling her things are alright, and will get better in time.

She doesn’t push it and I’m thankful for it.  It’s been a long time since I’ve cried so hard, the last time being for my mom.

Parker doesn’t deserve the same tears that I had once shed for my mom.  No, he doesn’t deserve any of my tears.

I feel that if I keep telling myself that, hopefully I can start to believe it.

School and work both suck the following week
s after our break-up.  Some people know and make comments, others keep to themselves. 

It’s not like we rubbed our relationship in anyone’s faces
, but there seems to be some snotty bitches that are happy we broke up.  I guess they think they may get a chance now, and who knows maybe they will. 

Do I want to think about that?  Absolutely not.

“What are you doing tonight?” Harp asks, as she matches stride for stride with me as I walk across campus.

“Nothing,” I tell her honestly.

“Great, cause I need your help,” she says with a knowing look.

“It’s Thursday, don’t you work tonight?” I ask confused.

“Yes, but Tuck’s being secretive and I need you to follow him, Rowan’s coming with you,” she says looking hopeful.

“What’s going on?
Rowan doesn’t work tonight?” I ask confused, Rowan works every day practically.

“She knows how he’s been acting
, so she said she’d help.  Tuck’s dropping me off.  Supposedly, he’s going home for a frat house meeting, but when I mentioned it to Matt, one of Tuck’s fraternity brothers, he had no idea what I was talking about,” she tells me.

“Okay then, I will be in the parking lot around 7:45 p.m.  Hopefully its dark enough that he can’t tell it’s my car,” I say hopeful.

“He won’t, he never pays attention to that stuff.  I’ll tell Rowan to meet you there too,” she says like it’s no big deal.

“
Sounds good.  Hopefully, it’s nothing Harp.”

“I guess we’ll find out soon enough.  It’s driving me nuts.  He’s been secretive for months,” she says frustrated.

“I know.  I’ll keep you posted on what we can find out.  Make sure to have your phone on you,” I tell her kindly.

“Definitely,” she says, “See you later.”

“See ya,” I say as I head towards my next class.

I’m sitting at PowerTrips waiting for Tucker and Harp to pull in.  I park my car
on the left side of the bar, that way it isn’t easily noticeable. 

I hear a knock on my passenger side window and see Rowan standing there.  I wave for her to get in the car.

“Hey.”

“Hi, how are you?”

“Not bad.  This should be an interesting evening,” I say with a smile.

Just then
I see Tuck’s car pull into the lot and he lets Harper out.  I wait for him to pull out before starting my car to follow him.