My Sweetest Escape (44 page)

though. But I told you.

It was impossible not to fall for you.” He

was so sure of himself, spoke as if it was

such an easy thing to say.

Renee started pacing again.

“And how am I supposed to believe

that? I mean, it sounds like a really good

line to feed a vulnerable girl to get in her

pants.”

“If all I wanted was to get in her pants, I

would have given up a long time ago. Your

sister is…” I waited.

“Stubborn,” he supplied with a grin as

he flicked some of my hair off my shoulder.

“Comes with the hair, I think. Or maybe it’s

genetic.” He turned and smiled at Renee,

and she faltered for a second. Ha.

She cleared her throat and tried to

collect herself for the next line of attack.

“Be that as it may, I am still not very

happy about this.” I started to say

something about how I was of age and

could make my own damn decisions and

after everything Dusty and I had been

through to find each other, I wasn’t going to

let her stop us, but she kept going and

ignored me.

“I trusted you to keep an eye on her.

Just an eye, not your entire body. And I’m

still not sure if I trust you, and I want to

know what happened between you, but…”

Dusty and I waited with bated breath.

Whatever that means. I’d never understood

the phrase before, but this certainly felt like

it.

“I can’t stop you from seeing each other.

You’re Hunter’s friend, and this is Hunter’s

house and you’re going to be here anyway. I

also know that if I try to keep you apart

you’ll come together quicker than you can

say ‘star-crossed lovers.’” I started

celebrating in my head, but I knew it was

probably too good to be true.

“BUT,” Renee said, as if she sensed my

precelebration.

She stood in front of Dusty and leaned

down until their faces were level.

“There will be rules, and I will get

everyone else in this house to enforce

them. You will have her home at a

reasonable hour. You will not take her

anywhere I would not want her to be. You

will never, ever, EVER hurt her, because I

will come after you and I will make your

death slow and painful. Got it?” By the time

she was done, their faces were so close I

wanted to tell Renee to back it up.

“I am sufficiently terrified,” Dusty said.

“So yes, I’ve got it.” He looked away from

Renee and at me.

“You okay with those terms, Red?”

“I will agree to them on one condition,” I

said, holding one finger up. Renee finally

stopped trying to stare Dusty into

submission.

“
You
will be nice to my boyfriend and

not threaten him anymore. Got it?”

Renee thought about that for a second,

and I could see her fuming.

“Deal.”

“Deal,” I said, sticking out my hand, and

we shook on it.

“Boyfriend, huh?” Dusty said. “That’s

the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He

leaned over and gave me a kiss, which was

either a very brave or very stupid thing to

do, seeing as how Renee was within

slapping distance.

I grinned and kissed him back, and I

heard her making protesting noises.

“You said you’d be nice.” I pulled away

from Dusty long enough to say that, and

then went back to his lips.

“I can be nice,” Renee muttered under

her breath.

“Can we come down now? The suspense

is killing us,”

Taylor called from upstairs, and Dusty

broke the kiss.

“Come down and meet my boyfriend,” I

called, and I heard a little exclamation of

glee that was probably from Taylor.

She and Darah came down the stairs

with Napoleon, who was meowing because

of all the excitement. Paul came after them

and went right for Renee, putting his hands

on her shoulders and rubbing them.

“Yay, everyone is alive,” Taylor said.

“Dare and I were getting worried.” She held

Napoleon up like Simba in
The
Lion King

and he didn’t seem too happy about it.

“Oh, buddy, it’s okay.” Dusty reached for

him and Taylor passed the kitten over. The

second Dusty had him, Napoleon started

purring.

“Nice job with the kitten,” Renee said.

“Well played.”

“Thank you,” Dusty said, giving

Napoleon a kiss on his tiny head. Dead, I

was dead. “He’s irresistible. Just like you,

Red.”

Renee groaned, and Darah and Taylor

said, “aww,” simultaneously. Well, you

couldn’t win them all.

“Straighten up and fly right, Ne,” I said

as I kissed my boyfriend.

Having sex with Dusty put our

relationship in some sort of relationship

time machine. Where I was with Matt after

years of being with him, I got beyond after

only a few days with Dusty. Mostly because

we spent every moment of time we could,

together.

I was a little reluctant to fool around at

Yellowfield House after the first time, so I

started staying over at his place. It wasn’t as

nice, of course, but it didn’t matter, as long

as we were together. Plus, Napoleon slept

with us, and the first time I woke up and

found Dusty curled around the sleeping

kitten, I swore my heart was going to

explode from the sweetness of it.

I got my bucket of candy back from

Hannah when I went to see her to give her

the good news about Dusty and also to

apologize for throwing her out and for

general craziness.

“Dude, it’s okay. I’ve been there. In fact,

your crazy wasn’t as good as mine. I’ll tell

you about it sometime.”

I also had to give her nearly every detail

of my sexual exploits, and it was like she

was reading
Cosmopolitan
and taking notes

for later use.

“Humming,” I said.

“Humming?” She looked puzzled.

“Humming,” I said with a wink. “Just

trust me on this one.”

Tuesday I attended my first meeting at

the paper, and Brett gave me my first

assignment, a battle of the bands on

campus featuring groups like Zoom Zoom

Bang, Lader Vader and Sterling Silver Lining.

I got to know some of the other writers, and

they all seemed both cool and

unintimidating, which was good.

“So what are you doing on Saturday

night?” I said to Dusty that night as we lay

in bed at Yellowfield House after a hushed

naked session. I’d hinted to Hunter that it

might be a good idea for everyone if they

soundproofed the basement, but it hadn’t

happened yet.

“Um, hopefully doing more of this with

you.” He stroked my thigh and then kissed

where his hand had been. “I still haven’t

counted all these freckles.”

“Not for lack of trying,” I said, tracing his

tattoo with my finger. “But I have to cover

the battle of the bands, and I wanted to

know if you’d come with me. It’ll probably

be awful, but it will suck less if you’re

there.”

“Sure, Red.” He kissed his way up my

leg, and I had the feeling I was going to be

incoherent again very soon.

I’d been so scared of him finding out

about my role in Nathan’s death, and just

like that, it didn’t matter. I’d spent nearly a

year hating myself and hating the world and

just hating everything, and it had been the

ultimate waste of time.

This was what Nathan had meant when

he said, “Live the day.” He didn’t mean

getting drunk, or completely abandoning

who I was, or isolating myself. I knew that

this, these moments with Dusty, and the

moments with Renee and Hannah and the

rest of the people who loved me, those

were what life was about. And music, of

course. Life wasn’t worth living without it.

“What do you want for your birthday?”

Dusty said a little while later after we’d

gotten tangled up again.

“You’ll think of something,” I said, still

panting a little.

He knew how to wear a girl out.

“How about a truckload of candy?” He

set his chin on my stomach and I stroked his

head.

“I’m still working through the bucket

you got me before.”

It was in the corner of my room, and

barely a third was gone.

There was a shit ton of candy in there.

“Or oral-sex coupons?”

“I need coupons to get that now?”

He smiled.

“No, just kidding. You’re right—I’ll think

of something.”

“I love you,” I said. If there was one

thing I loved more than actually loving

Dusty, it was getting to say it out loud.

“Love you, too, Red.”

“Do you think he’s in heaven? Nathan?”

I said. Dusty and I hadn’t talked much about

him, since it was still such a fresh wound for

both of us, but we needed to. We couldn’t

move on together until we had dealt with

our shared past.

“I never used to believe in something

like an afterlife, but I feel like…now, that I

kind of have to. That I have to believe he

went somewhere beautiful and happy and

safe, because if anyone deserved to go

there, it would be Nate.”

I nodded, knowing exactly what he

meant.

“He’d tried to get me clean so many

times, and it was him dying that finally did

it. That night when you met me at the

hospital, I was at my support group meeting

for addicts.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be anonymous?”

Dusty crawled up my body until we were

face-to-face again.

“You won’t tell anyone, right?”

“Cross my heart,” I said, crossing my

hand over my chest, which drew Dusty’s

attention to that area.

“Do that again.” I did. “I love watching

you touch yourself. Do you know how much

of a turn-on that is?” Men. They had a

one-track mind.

“Eyes up here, buddy,” I said, putting my

hand under his chin and raising it so I could

meet those glorious green eyes.

“Right. Support group.” He tried to get

himself focused again.

“When did you start going?” I moved my

hand to the top of his head and started

moving it in circles, and he closed his eyes.

“Right after Nate’s funeral. I was high for

it, because I thought that was the only way I

could get through it. That was the only way

I got through life back then. I don’t know

how much he told you about our dad, but

he’s nothing to brag about. He bailed on

Nate’s mom and mine as soon as he could

and skipped town to find his next woman. I

have these dreams sometimes that I have

all these other half siblings out there that I

don’t know about and someday I’ll run into

one of them.

“I was sitting there, at the funeral, and

all I could think was how it was my fault and

how ashamed Nate must have been to have

me as a brother. And it clicked that I didn’t

have to let him down anymore. I could try

and live my life in a better way. So I went

home and got rid of all the drugs and the

booze and went to my first group meeting

the next day. It was hard, at first. I had a lot

of people in my life that had fed my habit,

but I got rid of them all, and then I met

Hunter and he was my first sober friend in a

long time. He made it look so easy.”

He opened his eyes and sighed.

“It took a lot of work, but I did it

because it’s what Nate would have

wanted.”

“He called you Buzz, when he talked

about you. I always thought it was because

you had a buzz cut or you were, like, Buzz

Lightyear or something.”

Dusty laughed a little.

“No, it’s because when I was little, I was

obsessed with making noises and I used to

make a buzzing noise that drove my mother

crazy. She and Nate’s mom used to get us

together sometimes so we could bond, and

I was always doing that, so Mom and Nate

and everyone else called me Buzz.

I miss him so much it physically hurts.”

Dusty rolled onto his back, pulling me so I