My Epic Fairy Tale Fail (8 page)

“Anthony!” I cried. “We need you!”

Trish looked ready to faint. “Melissa has to be okay! She just has to!”

“She'll be fine,” I said, hoping that was true. At least she was still breathing.

A minute later—
Pop
!—Anthony appeared in front of us. When he spotted Melissa spread out on the ground, he dropped the carrot he was holding. Then he got to work, pulling all sorts of foul-smelling medicines from the pouch around his waist. A couple minutes later, the color was already starting to creep back into Melissa's cheeks.

“She'll be just fine,” Anthony announced. Then he saw my bleeding ankle. “Looks like I missed some serious fun.”

I let out a hysterical hyena laugh. “I guess you could say that.”

As Anthony started bandaging my leg, I couldn't help looking out at the lake wistfully. The monster was gone, and with it the magical object. I'd take Melissa over an object any day, but that meant I'd have to find some other way to complete the task.

A second later, Melissa opened her eyes and smiled up at us. “That was awesome,” she whispered.

I didn't know whether to smack her or to hug her. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“Are you kidding?” she said, slowly propping herself up on her elbow. “I'm great. That was the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.”

“You idiot!” said Trish, lovingly swatting Melissa's arm. “You almost died.”

“No way,” said Melissa. “And even if I had, at least it would've been worth it.”

“What are you talking about?” I said. Maybe the lack of air had scrambled her brain.

“Ta-da!” said Melissa. She pulled something long and metal out of the pocket of her sopping-wet jeans.

My mouth fell open. “Is that—?”

“The second object!” she said, smiling triumphantly. “I snatched it out of Nessie's tail when he first grabbed me.”

This time I didn't hesitate before throwing my arms around Melissa and hugging her tightly. After I finally let her go, I carefully examined the object. “But what is it?”

The metal was woven into a flat, round shape on one end, and then it extended down and formed a handle on the other end. It almost looked like a fly swatter.

Even Trish, who was usually full of ideas, had no clue what it could be. The shape of the object looked familiar, but I couldn't figure out where I'd seen something like it before.

“I guess Ilda will have to tell us when we bring it to her,” said Melissa.

“Are you kidding?” I said. “No way. You guys aren't staying with me. I'm having Anthony take you home.”

Melissa stared at me. “What are you talking about? I'm fine. We can keep going.”

“She's right, Jenny,” said Trish. She glanced at the bandage on my leg, and I could tell she was still a little shaken up. “Okay, maybe we won't go on the final task with you. But at least let us go back to the village and talk to some more people. This could be our only chance!”

“You mean talk to the villagers who chased after us with pitchforks? That's probably not the best idea.” I had to face facts. It had been fun while it lasted, but bringing my friends on my adventure had been a mistake. “Sorry, guys. I wish you could stay, but this mission is just too dangerous. It's time for you to go home.”

“That's not fair,” said Trish. “There's still so much we haven't seen.”

“And we were having a good time, weren't we?” Melissa added, her eyes suddenly wet with tears. “Please don't punish us just because I got myself hurt.”

“I'm not punishing you. I'm protecting you! I could never forgive myself if anything bad happened to you guys. There's a reason adventurers don't bring regular people along on missions.”

Melissa's face suddenly turned bright pink. “You think you're so special because you're an adventurer, don't you? You think we're not good enough to be here with you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Last I checked, we were actually helping you,” Trish chimed in. “If not for Melissa, there's no way you would have gotten that metal thing out of the lake. But you just want to keep this place all to yourself.”

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. “Don't you get it? I love you guys! I'm trying to keep you from getting yourselves killed.” I couldn't handle seeing another monster practically strangle one of my friends. Once was more than enough.

Melissa wiped away a tear. “If you really cared about us, you'd let us stay. You wouldn't take this opportunity away from us.”

I shook my head and turned to Anthony. “Can you take them home, please?”

He raised his orange eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. And even if they offer you a wedding cake, don't bring them back here.”

“You're the boss.” He took Melissa's arm and grabbed Trish's before she could pull away. “Sorry, kiddos!” he said. Then there was a loud
Pop
! and they were gone.

I stood staring at the green lake for a long while, trying to tell myself I'd done what I had to do to keep my friends safe. And that they would forgive me. Eventually.

As I marched along to Ilda's house, I kept replaying the fight I'd had with Melissa and Trish. I couldn't help thinking how much more fun I'd had on the mission with them than on the missions I'd been sent on with Jasmine. But at least Jasmine understood what being an adventurer meant. She understood that our job was to help others, not to put them in danger.

My mother's bracelet shifted on my wrist. When I glanced down at it, I could almost hear it talking to me again.
If
you
find
your
parents, you'll finally have people in your life who understand you.

The bracelet was right. Finding my parents and helping the Land of Tales were all that mattered. Everything else—the dance, my English paper, patching things up with my friends—would have to wait.

Still, I couldn't face the third task. Not yet. Not after everything that had happened at the lake.

First, I was going to get some answers.

As I charged toward Ilda's house, I realized I was going to pass the spot where we'd run into Ralph the slimy wolf earlier. I tried to hurry past without being noticed, but I should have known better than to think I could avoid being detected by a wolf's long ears.

“Why, hello there!” Ralph called out. “What happened to those delicious friends of yours?”

I didn't want to say anything, and luckily I didn't have to. Ralph dropped down on the ground and started doing push-ups in an obvious attempt to impress me.

“A young lass like you shouldn't be walking around in the woods by yourself,” he said in between reps.

“Is that what you said to Red Riding Hood?” I couldn't help asking.

Ralph almost fell on his face. “Who told you that? Did someone say I knew her? Was it that mother of hers? You didn't believe her, did you? Did you?”

I hurried away, giggling to myself, my mood a little lighter. Apparently, smarmy fairy-tale wolves
were
good for something.

A few minutes later, I spotted Ilda's gingerbread house at the edge of the village. The Monsterooster was strutting around the yard, pecking at everything in sight. This time he was wearing a blue bonnet, which he was trying to shake off his head.

I hurried to the door before the rooster saw me and got scared all over again. I felt bad for the giant bird. Being Ilda's pet had obviously made him terrified of everything. But I didn't have time to think about saving poultry when an entire kingdom was at stake.

Ilda threw open the door before I could even knock. Her pink kitten sweater had been replaced by a blue cardigan with bedazzled cowboy boots all over it. Seriously, she and my math teacher had to shop at the same store. It was also clear that Ilda chose the rooster's bonnets to match her own outfits. Talk about animal cruelty.

“You're back!” Ilda said. “Have you given up so soon?”

“No way. In fact, I already have two of the objects.” I patted my bag.

“Really?” Ilda smiled and played with the clasp of her necklace. “Then why are you here?”

“Because I'm not taking another step until you tell me what you know about my parents.”

Ilda laughed. “Oh, my dear, what did I tell you about patience? I can't spill everything just because you asked me to. First, you need to complete all the tasks. Those are the rules.”

“They're
your
rules,” I said. “That means you can change them.”

She opened her mouth and closed it again. “It's not that simple.”

“Why not?” I demanded.

For a second, Ilda actually looked at a loss for words.

“Come on,” I pressed. “I've been waiting seven years to find out what happened to my parents. Don't worry. I'll complete your stupid third task. But first I need to know what you know. What happened to them? Where did they go? Tell me!” I realized I was practically screaming. Even Ilda looked a little stunned.

“I do admire your determination.” She sighed. “Very well. I suppose it can't hurt to tell you what I know.”

She led me into her house, which was surprisingly cozy and smelled like hot cocoa. She pointed to a couple of rocking chairs by the fireplace, where a crackling fire was going. After seeing how run-down the rest of the land was, being somewhere so warm and inviting felt wrong. Then again, everything about the witch felt wrong.

“Now,” she said, once we were both sitting, “where should I start?”

“Tell me what happened when my parents came here. And tell me the truth. No more games.”

“Of course not!” Ilda said, like the idea had offended her. She leaned back and peered into the fire. “I remember when I first met them. It was right after the king and queen's transformation.”

I bit my lip. Right. As if people spontaneously turned into furniture every day.

“Your parents came and demanded that I undo the spell,” she went on. “But of course, I couldn't simply do that. One of life's greatest lessons is realizing you can't have something for nothing. So I told your parents to make me an offer and we could work out a deal.”

“What was the offer?”

“There wasn't one,” said Ilda. “Your parents refused. They said they didn't negotiate with bullies like me. Can you imagine? Calling me a bully when I'd spent years stopping children from being cruel beasts?”

Somehow I doubted the
kids
were the ones being cruel. “Then what happened?”

Ilda smoothed down her corduroy pants. “I tried to reason with your parents, but they wouldn't listen. And then,
Poo
f
! They disappeared.”

I leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

“Just what I said. One moment they were standing right here in my cottage. The next”—she snapped her fingers and sparks magically flew into the air—“they vanished.”

“But why?”

Ilda shrugged. “I'm afraid I have no idea. But I know one thing for certain: I didn't cause it. They simply disappeared. I'll admit I was relieved. After that, I could continue with my plan without interruptions. I always plan much better when I have peace and quiet.”

The Monsterooster let out a pitiful wail in the yard.

I clenched my fists into balls. I hated how lightly Ilda was talking about my parents vanishing. “So, why did you take the land's magic? What do you need it for?”

“That's like asking why we pursue knowledge!” said Ilda. She pointed her finger, and the flames in the fireplace roared. She was clearly showing off how much magic she had. “Isn't it enough to want something simply for the joy of having it?”

She acted like stealing magic was the same as Dr. Bradley getting pleasure out of filling his house with junk. But Dr. Bradley would never hurt someone to add to his broken toaster collection.

“So, that's all you can tell me?” I said. “One minute my parents were here, the next minute they were gone, and you have no idea why they disappeared or where they went?” I couldn't tell if she was lying or if that really was all she knew.

“What did you expect, dear? That I'd draw you a treasure map? ‘
X
' marks the parents? Where would be the challenge in that?” She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “But let's be honest, Jenny. Have you ever considered that it might be too late to get your parents back?”

I blinked at her. “What are you saying? Do you know where they are? Do you know if they're okay?”

Ilda slowly shook her head. “I wouldn't know, of course. I already told you that I have no idea what happened to them.”

I didn't believe her. She clearly knew something. And, worse, she obviously thought my quest was hopeless. But it couldn't be. My parents had to be all right. They had to.

“After all these years, no one has been able to track them down,” Ilda added. “How can you expect to? You're just a girl. Sometimes, Jenny, we need to learn our own limitations.”

I couldn't stand this conversation anymore. Obviously, I wasn't going to get anything out of Ilda other than mind games disguised as life lessons. I jumped to my feet and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?” she called after me. “I have one more thing to tell you about your parents.”

Okay, that got my attention. I slowly turned around. “What?”

Ilda stood up, smiling as always, her crossed teeth smudged with orange lipstick. “They told me about you, you know. They said this was their last mission, and they couldn't wait to get back to their spunky little girl.”

“What do you mean it was their last mission?'

“They were retiring, leaving adventuring for good, so they could be with you. Sad how things work out sometimes, isn't it?”

I stared at Ilda. It couldn't be true. Because if my parents had been planning to retire, my whole life could have been different.

With that thought burning my brain, I spun around and ran out the door. I had to get away.