Missing Hart (11 page)

I held onto him tightly, comforted and soothed by both the smell of his skin and the beating of his heart below my cheek.

“I didn’t know until I met Marissa and the two of us began opening up to each other how badly I needed support in order to heal. I know that if I told my family they would be beyond supportive, and I know that they could handle it… I’ve just never been sure that I want them to. If you saw the way we grew up and all of the terrible things they’ve already lived through, you would understand. They aren’t much older than me either. Dante is the oldest and he’s only seven years older than me and Damien and Spencer are three years younger than him. Even though I know how it worked out, sometimes even I can’t believe that I was taken care of as a baby by a seven year old and two four year old preschoolers. I think it’s safe to say that they’ve dealt with a lot themselves, and I’m sure I don’t know everything. They must have kept things from me-in my mind, I’m returning the favor.”

“Aw honey, I understand what you’re saying but I think that if you ever come to the point where you feel strong enough to tell them, you should. As someone who’s lived his life for his family I can tell you that I’d hate to think that Leah would hide something like that from me in order to spare my feelings. You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, but if you ever need to talk to me about it, I’ll always be here. Don’t keep any of it bottled inside Minnie. I’m here for you and I will gladly hold you up if it ever gets to be too much.”

Tilting my head back I raised my hand and laced my fingers through his hair so that I could pull his head toward me. When our lips met my heart melted.

At that moment Dillon became the only man-outside of my family-that I believed in and trusted completely. Every part of me knows that he is the one for me.

The new dynamic to my relationship with Dominique is even better than what I wished for. I’ve never felt as close to anyone before, and it’s a feeling I never thought that I would have. If I’m honest, it’s kind of scary. We’re in the very early stages of what I hope that we’ll become together and already I know that I am falling for her, hard and fast.

This smart, funny, strong and beautiful girl is changing my life one moment at a time. Although it can be overwhelming and I have some anxiety that I’m in deeper than I’ve ever been, I wouldn’t change it for the world. For the first time in my life I have someone that’s with me by choice-not because she depends on me to take care of her or because I’m her only family. It might sound strange to another person, but the feeling of being chosen by Dominique leaves me happier than I’ve ever been.

It’s been seven years since I’ve held, kissed, touched or cuddled with a girl and I was nervous that it would be awkward. The fact that it’s not is a huge relief.

Having Dominique sitting in my lap while the two of us held each other and kissed was perfection. Since my high school relationship was more about sex and having a good time, I hadn’t gotten to be cuddly very often with the one girl that I had been with, so what was happening with us was new to me.

An unknown amount of time passed while we kissed, my heartbeat never slowing down for a moment. She tasted light and fresh, the parry and thrust of our tongues a sensual delight. What I liked best about kissing her was that we were evenly matched. She took everything that I had while giving me every part of herself. It definitely wasn’t a normal kiss, at least not in my experience. It felt like something much bigger than two people making out on a lawn, that’s for sure.

Kissing Dominique was an exploration, a seed being sown, the start of a new journey and dawn coming up over the ocean all rolled into one. Without a doubt it was the beginning of something huge, and I felt the shift. Felt it and greeted it with open arms. I saw a bright future for the two of us, a way out of the darkness and shadows that we had both lived in for far too long.

When we finally broke apart and stared at each other breathlessly I took a mental picture of the moment as my heart told me that I was in for the ride of my life.

Running her hand up my torso, she rested it over my heart. Looking into her eyes, I saw that she was as moved as I was.

“This is the first time in my life that I’ve been able to be kissed and held close without freaking out or feeling like there was some big secret that I just didn’t get. Everyone else goes on and on about how great it is to make out and I’ve never gotten it… until now, until you.”

Rubbing my hands gently up and down her arms, I smiled. “I’m so glad, baby. If you ever feel overwhelmed or you don’t want to be so close, just tell me and I will back off. No means no and I promise that I will never push you or crowd your space.”

Shaking her head she replied, “I don’t think it would be possible for you to crowd me. You’re different to me. I’m not scared-I’m happy.”

“I’m happy too. Sitting on this lawn with you right now will be on the highlight reel that I get at the end of my life. How I feel about you scares the hell out of me, but I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

When she smiled at me, I swear the world got brighter. “Oh Dillon… that was beautiful! I’m always happy when I’m with you, but now I’m excited that we’re going to take the next step.”

I was damn excited, too. We held each other for a few more minutes on the lawn before heading inside.

Before she left she asked what time I wanted her to come over on Saturday for dinner. I told her that I thought that I should pick her up at her house, but she informed me that for our first date she didn’t want to put me through having her family interrogate me. I tried to tell her that it wouldn’t bother me, but the choice was hers so I let it be.

Her routine most weeknights is to leave just before dinner time and after several more long and lingering kisses, she did just that. I wanted to ask her to stay but she had told me before that if she broke her nightly routine frequently she sometimes didn’t have enough time to prepare for her classes. Since she had just been out to dinner with Leah and me I knew asking her to stay for dinner would be too much.

She had only ever really deviated from her nightly schedule during the month that Marissa had been so depressed, and I got her to admit later that it had been very difficult for her to be able to be there every night. Since that had to mean that her grades suffered I understood that I couldn’t pressure her to stay late on nights when she had classes the next day.

After eating some leftover Chinese food from the night before, I headed back into my office and went back to drawing up my ideas for the project we were bidding on. A few minutes into working I had a totally new idea for the project that was inspired by Dominique.

The garden I created on paper was all about renewal, growth, strength and sustainability. The flowerbeds went from darkness to light, hearty flowers that would always come back. I created sitting areas and pathways, and then I chose trees and shrubs that fit the theme. I worked until almost three in the morning on it and when I was finished, I stepped back and looked at my presentation boards with a shit-eating grin. Hands down it was the best thing I had ever designed, my very own version of a love garden.

I wanted to text Dominique and tell her that she was the best muse ever, but I managed to keep my fingers away from my phone. First because it was late and I didn’t want to wake her and second because I was hoping that I would get the job and that I could take her to it and show her.

For the first time in months I got into bed with a smile on my face, anxious to greet the coming day.

My confidence rose even more when I showed Rick my presentation boards and got his unchecked reaction. He loved everything about them and told me that he felt certain that we would get the job once the client saw my idea.

“We’ll know by Wednesday of next week who won the contract. If we get the job, and I’m confident from looking at these that we will, we break ground in two months. Once we’re on site it would be a tight turnaround-we would only have fifteen days to make it happen so everyone would need to work serious overtime. But if we get it, that’s your launch to the big time. You know that Monica was up my ass about moving back to Texas. The big news is that I’ve just agreed to it. Once our daughter decided on Texas A&M, I surrendered. All my big talk about being unemotional when it comes to business doesn’t mean shit because I can’t have my little girl in a different state. We get this contract and you run with it the way I see on these boards, I’m leaving you in pole position for success in this town. I believe in you, kid.”

Rick was pretty much the closest thing to a father figure that I’ve had since my parents died, and it meant the world to me that he had such faith in me. I’d miss him terribly, but I was damn sure that we wouldn’t lose touch. Still, I was emotional at the idea of not working with him every day and before I knew it I had grabbed him in a quick bear hug before patting him on the shoulder and getting out a quick, “That means everything to me, Rick” past the lump in my throat.

Chuckling he patted me on the back. “It means a lot to me too, kid. My daughter has no interest in landscape so everything I know, I passed on to you. You make me proud.”

I left Rick to deal with submitting our proposal so that I could head out to oversee one of our current job sites. The day passed quickly and after work I headed right to the jewelry store to buy something for Minnie’s birthday.

The salesman was not all that helpful, suggesting things I thought were a bit over the top and a little flashy. Dominique wasn’t flashy because she didn’t need to be. Her beauty and grace drew the eye naturally, no need for bling. Twenty minutes of searching later, I found a delicate solid silver bangle bracelet with a heart shaped clasp. After writing down the inscription for the inside of the bangle I paid for the bracelet and the cost of having the engraving rushed and then headed off to the florist near my new house.

Once I had ordered an arrangement of hydrangeas mixed with white roses, I went home to make a dinner reservation. I decided on an intimate Italian restaurant that Rick swore was the best food he’d ever tasted. The prices were really reasonable and if Rick said it was good, I knew that meant it was.

It sucked not getting to see Minnie, and it was even worse because I knew I wouldn’t see her the following night either since that’s when her family dinner was. Next year I hoped that I’d be invited to her family birthday dinner. I wanted to shake hands with the brothers that had raised such an amazing girl.

The two days that passed without being able to see dragged out. We texted a lot and talked on the phone both nights, but it wasn’t the same as having her there. She tried to get information out of me about where I was taking her for our date but all I would tell her was that she had to wear a dress.

I used every spare moment I had during those two days to create a first date that would blow her mind. First I made her a mix CD of songs that I was listening to that reminded me of her. That was the easiest part of my plan since the rest of it involved wrapping white lights around the pergola in my yard.

When I opened the door to greet her the night of our date, my jaw dropped. The only time I had seen Dominique dressed up was at Marissa’s funeral, but she had been wearing black and the day was so awful that I don’t remember much else about the outfit. Tonight she was wearing an above the knee royal blue dress with little white polka dots. Her hair was wild and wavy and her white open-toe platform espadrilles were showing off her killer legs. She was always exquisite, but tonight she was drop dead sexy, too. I felt like I’d just opened a Wonka bar and found the golden ticket because she was dressed up for a date with me.

I had been nervous before I opened the door but as soon as I saw her I calmed down immediately, pulling the bouquet of flowers I’d gotten her from behind my back and presenting them to her.

“You look beautiful,” I told her, “and I’ll be the envy of every man in town when they get a look at you in that dress.”

She was delighted with the flowers, her smile ear to ear as she took them from my hand and smelled them.

“Thank you so much for the flowers, they’re beautiful! For the record, you look mouth wateringly good yourself. I’ll probably have to beat girls off of you all night!”

I was glad that she liked what I had on since it took me an hour of shopping the night before to pick out the shirt and tie. The dress pants I already had, but I refused to wear anything that I had worn to Marissa’s funeral on my date. In the end I had gone with a steel gray dress shirt and a blue tie that I’d chosen because it reminded me of Dominique’s eyes. It was pure luck that I basically matched her since she was wearing blue too.

I couldn’t wait another minute to touch her. Cupping her face in my hands I leaned in for a kiss. I meant for it to be brief, but it didn’t work out that way. Without even realizing that we were moving, I had her back up against the door. I heard but didn’t really register the flowers falling to the floor, my focus instead on her fingers laced together behind my neck to hold me closer to her.

For seven years my body had been hibernating but now it was awake and I was on fire for the girl in my arms. I wanted her so badly that it physically hurt. I couldn’t kiss, touch or be close enough to her. Her body rubbing against mine on top of her breathy little gasps and moans had me hard as a two by four. Passion? We had that in spades. It was more than just the fact that I wanted to be inside of her; it was that I wanted to be as close to her as humanly possible.

The nagging voice inside my head that finally decided to remind me that we had dinner reservations is what finally made me start to put the brakes on. I wanted to take her on our date and create a memory for both of us. I also wanted to celebrate her birthday and give her the gift that I had picked out.

Her frustrated groan as I broke off our kiss almost made me throw my plans out the window. If it weren’t for the fact that I wanted our first date to be the most memorable one that she would ever have (or the only one, my inner voice proclaimed) I would have stayed with her up against that door for hours.