Missing Hart (15 page)

“My Minnie… so beautiful, so perfect. Are you okay kitten?”

I could only nod, unable to form a coherent enough stream of words that would properly get across to him how much better than okay I was. Wrapping my arms around him, I pulled him closer so that we could kiss.

It felt like heaven, absolutely nothing like the first time I’d had sex. The first time I’d had sex I felt dirty and disgusting afterward, but with Dillon inside of me; I felt treasured. He had me pinned to the bed as he gently rocked in and out, my legs rising of their own accord and wrapping around his waist to hold him closer to me. I had never felt as good as I did with him inside of me. This wasn’t dirty sex, it was beautiful love making.

I felt deliciously stretched around him, in awe of how deep he was inside of me as my body opened to take him in inch by perfect inch.

Moans and little cries erupted from my throat, shocking me with how erotic they sounded. His responding groans turned me on even more, and his growls of approval each time I clenched around him made me feel like I was flying. I thought that I had understood the magic of being with him before, but now a whole new aspect to that had opened up to me. He was rocking my world in a way that I had never, ever anticipated.

He broke our kiss so that he could stare into my eyes, and I fluttered around him harder. I saw my entire future in his eyes, and it was beautiful. Raising my hands, I laid one on either side of his face.

“I love you.”

His eyes turned glassy as they filled with tears, the look on his face a mixture of bliss and something deeper that had my heart skipping a few beats.

“Oh Dominique, I love you too-so very, very much my sweetheart.”

He meant every word; I could feel it to the depths of my soul. I arched beneath him and let out a cry as the most incredible feeling took over my entire body. I burned from the inside out as my world exploded around me. I gasped when I felt his orgasm take hold of him, and I stared into his eyes as he looked into mine. I had always loved watching him come, but watching him lose control while I felt him inside of me was a bigger feeling than any that I’d ever had before.

As we came down from our mutual high, he kissed me again and again; short tender kisses that told me without words how much he cared.

In that moment I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that we were going to be together forever. The feeling of completion in finding my other half blew me away. My entire world revolved around him and the way he made me feel.

I hated to do it but I was pouting and whining like a brat as I argued with my brothers about our coming family vacation.

“No one ever said anything to me before about going anywhere on Spring Break! I love you guys but I don’t want to go to The Virgin Islands for a week and you can’t make me. Why can’t we wait and go on vacation in the summer like we normally do? I want to spend Spring Break with my friends!”

I felt like shit when I saw the look on Dante’s face, but I didn’t back down. I didn’t want to spend a week without Dillon. I don’t think that I could spend a week without him. It’s hard enough to spend Sunday through Thursday nights in my lonely bed when all I want to do is sleep curled up in his arms. If I loved my family any less than I do, I’d have started to push back and begun spending the night out on weeknights too. I was just lucky that Dillon never said a word to me about the fact that I didn’t stay because I told him that my family was a bit strict. Another thing to love about him was that he never pressured me.

“Listen to me little ladybug,” Dante said, “We’re going on this vacation as a whole family and that’s that. We’ve all been supportive of you making new friends and have encouraged your new over-the-top busy social schedule because it hasn’t affected your grades at all and you’re obviously very happy. Having said that, if this is the way you’re going to behave, we’re going to have a serious discussion about where this attitude of yours is coming from. Family comes first Dominique Hart, and I should never have to tell you that. Do you want to break Sandra’s heart by telling her that you don’t care enough about this family to take part in the trip that she’s just spent three weeks planning as a surprise for you girls?”

I barely kept my temper in check because I was furious that he was throwing logic at me.

“Dante, I said I would go… just not now. Why can’t she change it to be a summer trip?”

Smacking his hand on the kitchen table, he glared at me.

“You are really trying my patience right now. She’s not changing the timing of the trip and that is that. You’re going to want to think about the little performance you’re putting on right now.”

I knew that I was testing Dante’s patience, knew that I was perilously close to having him ground me. I hadn’t been grounded since Delilah and I had gotten ridiculously drunk and missed curfew a few years ago and I had no intention of getting grounded now. Raising my hands in surrender I muttered, “Fine, you win. I’ll shut up. It’s not that I’m not grateful Dante, because I am. I just wasn’t prepared for this. I’m sorry.”

Damien laid a steady hand on my shoulder in a supportive gesture and I turned to give him a smile. I loved Dante to pieces as my father figure, but Damien would always be my favorite person in the world. He “got” me in a different way than anyone else did and I loved him for that. Where Dante protected and provided, as children Damien had always been the soft touch that soothed me when I was upset and the hand that held mine until I would fall asleep. Even now, when I sensed that he was less than thrilled with my behavior, he tried to calm me down instead of piling onto me.

“We’ll make it a funny trip ladybug, I promise. You girls are about to be out of school and we all just want to spend some time together before you graduate. Don’t pout princess.”

Now I felt like a real bitch, and my lip quivered as I tried not to cry. These men had given up everything for me and here I was acting like a toddler who just had their favorite toy taken away.

Spencer took my hand and gave it a squeeze as he promised that we would tour some of the island together in search of the coolest architecture. I had to admit that sounded like an amazing idea and that quickly my resistance to the family vacation was over. I owed these people my life and spending a week in paradise with them should never be considered a hardship, no matter how much I would miss Dillon.

In the months since we’d started dating, Dillon and I grew closer by the day. We made love whenever we could but we were always eager for more of each other. Most of our weekends were spent in his bed making love until we were too tired to move. It wasn’t just that I loved him; it was also that I genuinely enjoyed spending as much time with him as humanly possible. We talked, texted and spent every available moment together and our relationship was stronger for it.

I was an anxious mess about leaving for Spring Break for a week because I hated the idea of being apart from him for any length of time, much less an entire week, but he soothed me with kisses and assurances that we would both survive.

“Someday we’ll take all of our vacations together, Kitten,” he told me, “but for now you go and enjoy the week away with your family. A week in the Virgin Islands is no small financial feat baby. They worked hard to make this happen and you need to work equally hard to enjoy yourself and show them what it means to you. Besides, the timing is actually very good. I’ve got a special project going at work that breaks ground that week specifically because it’s Spring Break and we are under the gun to get it completed quickly. Without you here I’ll have no reason not to work as much overtime as possible to make that happen.”

“Ooh! Special project? You didn’t tell me there was something special coming up! What are you working on?”

Kissing my forehead he chuckled. “Nothing I want to tell you about just yet kitten. I’m going to take you to see it as soon as it’s finished and I’ll explain all about it then.”

It was bittersweet parting with him the night before I was set to fly out, but I left with a heart full of love and a body sated from an afternoon spent making love. We kissed a hundred times before I got into my car and set off for home.

Later that night I found that he’d put seven sealed envelopes in my purse. All seven were held together with a clip that had a note attached to it.

Kitten,

Relax and enjoy a wonderful vacation with your family. Always remember that family is a gift and that time spent with the people you love is priceless. I know that you’re sad about being apart for seven days but you can’t think that way. Instead of being sad, smile because you’ve got someone to come home to who loves and adores you. I wrote a little something for you to read at the end of each day before you go to sleep. As you read these letters, listen to our songs and it will be like I’m right there with you.

I love you baby.

Always~ DC

I wanted to open every letter to read everything he had written, but I knew that it would mean something to him if I read them as he intended.

With a big stupid smile plastered on my face I put on the mix CD that he had made for my birthday so that I could sing along while I packed. I felt treasured and secure, beautiful and loved. Everything that happened to me before I met and fell in love with Dillon pales in significance to what I have now. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he is my soul mate.

Seven days without him was going to be six and a half days too many, but I promised him that I would try my best to have a good time with my family and now that I had his letters to look forward to, I couldn’t wait to greet each day. I knew that after this I wouldn’t ever have to be separated from him for any length of time again

Love Letter Number One-Sunday

My beautiful girl,

The first time I laid eyes on you, I forgot how to breathe for a moment. I didn’t know why I felt so connected to you, couldn’t understand why I immediately felt something for you. Although I didn’t understand it then, I realize now that I felt that instant connection because you’re my destiny.

All my roads lead to you, Kitten.

Tonight as you fall asleep think about how lucky we are to have found each other. I love you and I can’t wait to hold you in my arms again.

I love you more than any letter could ever hope to convey to you.

Sweet dreams my beautiful girl.

-DC

Love Letter Number Two-Monday

My Darling Minnie,

One of my happiest memories with you happened just a few weeks ago. It was the car trip that we took to that fried chicken restaurant that I told you I had loved so much when I was a kid. Two and a half hours in the car to get there, only to find that it was closed for renovations. I love that instead of being annoyed, you laughed and said it was our Clarke Griswold moment. I’ll never forget the way I felt after I apologized to you for wasting your day and you told me that it wasn’t a waste at all because we were together, making memories. I would choose a day spent in the car with you over an endless platter of my favorite food. It wouldn’t even be a choice that required thought.

I love you more every day.

Sweet dreams baby.

-DC

Love Letter Number Three-Tuesday

Hi Baby,

The first time we made love, I understood what two halves of a whole means. You fill in all of my holes and dark places with your love, and because of you I am fully experiencing life for the first time. When you’re wrapped in my arms, I know a feeling of peace and contentment that I have never felt before. There is no part of me that you haven’t changed for the better, and I can never thank you enough for opening yourself up to me. Your trust and love are gifts that I will always work hard to be worthy of.

I more than love you and there just aren’t enough words for me to get that point across.

Sweet dreams kitten.

- DC

Love Letter Number Four-Wednesday

My Heart,

I never really had dreams for the future. I had a list of hopes, all of them having to do with professional success and being a good person. What I didn’t have was a vision for what kind of future I wanted personally.

Your love has made me dream big for the first time in my life. I dream about creating our life together. I love these dreams more than I can explain, and I promise you that I will do everything in my power to make all of our dreams come true. We’ll buy a fixer upper just like you’ve always wanted and we’ll make it our home. Even writing the word home makes me smile, because when I say it or think it, it’s your face that I see.

Thank you for giving me dreams. It means more than you know.

I love and miss you.

-DC

Love Letter Number Five-Thursday

Love of My Life,

Today I wanted to let you know that I am crazy in love with everything about you. The way you move, the sound of your voice, that wistful smile you get when you see children, the joy you get from reading a good book, your wisdom, the smell of your skin, the way you kiss, the taste of you on my tongue, the sounds you make when you come, the way you hold onto me when I’m deep inside of you, the way you shiver when I kiss your neck, your kindness, your generosity of spirit, your inner strength, your beautiful face, the way you look into my eyes and tell me without saying a word that you love me, the feeling of your hand in mine, the smell of your hair, your brain, your integrity, your grace, your heart. This is just a tiny sampling of the things that I love about you, and every day I find more to add to the list.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

-DC

Love Letter Number Six-Friday

My love,

I hope that you’re enjoying this week with your family. I know that I will have thought of you every single day and I hope you thought about me, too.

Sometimes when I think about how perfectly matched we are, I get scared. My entire life has been hard, so why would this be any different? Because of that fear I fully understand how much I love you. The fear is only there because you mean so much.