Loving Her (6 page)

Well, that went just about as
awful as I imagined it would.  I felt horrible for having to tell Jen about
Jack, but was relieved at the same time.  She needed to know what he was
about.  If she decided to keep seeing him, then she would be responsible for
the fucked up relationship.  I could wash my hands of the mess and move on.

Yeah, easier said than done.  On
my drive home, I couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Jen’s face.  She was
mortified and I hated it.  I could see she was about to cry when she got in her
car at the restaurant.  I decided I would at least call and check to make sure
she got home okay, but remembered that I didn’t know her cell phone number. 
Shit!

I pulled into my driveway, stopped
short of the garage and tried to figure out what to do.  I needed to make sure
she was okay, but it would have to wait till morning when I would be able to
call her office.  I mean, I knew I was only the messenger and I was trying to
protect her, but I still felt like shit for it.

I went inside and was met by Butch
who gave me a big lick on my hand.  He always made me feel better.  “Hey, boy! 
What did you do tonight?”  Every time I asked my dog that I wanted to laugh.  I
imagined him saying, ‘Well, Ry…I slept on your bed, licked my balls and humped
all my stuffed animals.  How was your night, dude?’

Man, I needed my life back.  I
was having imaginary conversations with my damn dog.

I grabbed a beer and took it out
on my balcony.  I found myself continuing to look at my phone, wishing Jen
would somehow magically find my number and call to scream at me.  At midnight,
I forced myself to go to bed and try to sleep.

My alarm went off at 5:30am after
a fitful night’s sleep.  I had dreamed about Kristen most of the night, but at
some point, Jen took over my subconscious and joined my dreams.  It made me
feel weird and my head was a jumbled mess of memories and crazy thoughts. 

I dressed quickly and left for
work.  I definitely needed the distraction of work today, but when I walked
through the doors, I saw Jack Woods and my whole body stiffened.  I wanted to
grab him by his prick-ass pink shirt and beat the shit out of him. 

Whoa!  Where had that come from? 
I hadn’t felt that worked up in a long time.  I took a deep breath, passed Jack
silently and went to my office.  I sat in my chair and put my head on my desk
for a few minutes.  I needed to get a grip!

By noon I was fully immersed in a
shit load of problems that had come across my desk.  I worked through lunch
without too many disruptions and felt 100% better.  I had avoided running into
Jack for fear I might do or say something really stupid. 

As the afternoon rolled by, my
mind drifted to
her
.  I wondered how she was doing and if she had talked
to Jack.  She never called me, of course, but it certainly didn’t stop me from
thinking about her and wanting to hear her voice.  I finally gave up around
four and called her office.  I knew she would answer.

“This is Jen. “  Well, she
sounded okay.

“Hi, Jen.  This is Rylan.”

“I can’t talk…..” I could tell
she was about to hang up.

“Please don’t hang up, Jen!”  My
voice sounded crazy desperate.  I would’ve hung up on me for sure.

“What do you want, Rylan?  I’m
really trying to make it through my day without any more humiliation.  Did you
call just to make sure I had my dose today?”

“God no!  I was worried about you
last night and…I mean, I wanted to call, but…”

“But, what?  Oh, right….you don’t
have my number.  Thank God.”  She whispered the last part, but I still heard
it.

“Right.  Well, I just felt really
bad and wanted to check on you.  I’m sorry I was such an ass last night.  Maybe
I shouldn’t have told you about Jack, but I couldn’t let him do that to you….or
anyone else and not say anything.  I’m sorry.”

Jen sat there without responding
for several very long seconds.  Then, I heard a long sigh.

“Look.  I appreciate that
Rylan…..I really do.  But, I am totally mortified… not only by the fact that
Jack  said all that and now I’ve become the office joke, but also by the fact
that
you
, of all people, told me….after luring me under false pretenses
to a restaurant….and completely wrecked my fragile ego.”  She paused to take a
deep breath, then said, “I need to go now.  I’m working and need to just forget
about the whole thing with Jack.”

“Okay, I understand.  Take care,
Jen.”  I sat there for a few seconds to see if she would say anything, but all
I heard was the click of her hanging up.    I didn’t understand at all, but had
no idea what else to do.   And, what was that about ‘
me
of all people’
being the one who told her.  Shit, I was confused!  This business of Jen Bailey
felt undone. 

Hmm….now what?  I guess I just
needed to follow her lead and forget about the whole thing, but for the life of
me, I couldn’t.  I had to do something to change her perception of me.  I was
only trying to help, but for some reason, her opinion mattered to me.  I didn’t
want her to think I was some unfeeling jerk.

I dialed a nearby florist and
sent a little something to her office.  I hoped she would accept my peace
offering.

What the hell was that?!?  Rylan
was calling to check on me?  Is he just freakin’ crazy or what?   I didn’t know
what to think.  He was being really sweet and seemed genuine about checking on
me, but I just didn’t know if it was real or not.  What reason would he have
for faking it, though?

I went back to work and tried not
to think about Rylan Daniels and his act of being all concerned.  It confused
the hell out of me and I didn’t have room in my life for any more of that kind
of mess.

Right at five o’clock, there was
a knock on my office door.  “Come in.”

“Hi, Jen.  There is a delivery
here for you,” Sasha, my assistant announced.

I furrowed my brows, still
looking down at the papers on my desk and asked, “Thanks.  Does it say who it’s
from ‘cause I wasn’t expecting anything for a few days.”

“Not sure, Jen, but they sure are
pretty.”  I turned to see Sasha was grinning from ear to ear and holding a huge
vase full of every kind of wild flower known to California.  It was gorgeous
and I couldn’t help but to inhale sharply when I saw them.  If they were from
that prick Jack, I’d have a ball using them for kindling. 

“Thanks, Sasha.  Just set them on
my table over there.”  I pointed to my large round table that held several
stacks of proposals.

Sasha quickly left and I was
faced with crossing the room to read the card.  I stood and made my way to the
beautiful flowers and plucked the card out.

I’m sorry.  Forgive me.

Dinner without drama?

Please?

RD

Well, crap.  How could I say no? 
He was just the messenger, after all and he probably felt like a total jerk. 
At least it was more than what I’d heard from Jack.  He hadn’t even tried to
contact me since late last night.  What could a drama-free meal hurt?  I wasn’t
sure what Rylan’s game was, but I felt like I needed to give him the chance to
apologize properly.  The whole mess seemed to be eating at him and I was
curious as hell about what made the man tick.

After staring at the card for
several long minutes, I picked up the phone, but quickly realized I didn’t know
his number.  I did a quick Google search for Redman, Daniels & Smith to
locate Rylan’s direct office number.  I hesitated for a few seconds before I
called.

“This is Ryland Daniels.  I’m
away from my desk at the moment.  Please leave a detailed message and I will
get back to you as soon as I can.”   Voicemail. 

I had to at least leave a message
thanking him for the flowers
.  Beep….. 
“Um, hi….yeah….uh, Rylan, this
is Jen.  I just wanted to thank you for the beautiful flowers.  You really
didn’t have to do that, but thank you anyway.”  I paused.  “I guess this call
comes a little late for dinner.  You obviously left the office already.  But, I
just wanted to say….dinner would have been nice.”  I hung up and sank down in
my chair.  I felt really weird too, almost sad or something, that I hadn’t at
least talked to him. 

I needed to go out and just
forget about the whole mess with Jack and Rylan. 

I went through the rest of the
week not hearing from Jack or Rylan.  I thought it was really strange that I
hadn’t heard back from Rylan since he seemed hell-bent on chatting it up with
me at the beginning of the week.  I almost called his office again just to ask
him what his fucking game was all about….I mean, the flowers, the apology, the
dinner invitation and then nothing.

By Thursday afternoon, I knew I
needed a night out with my friends.  Dancing and drinks with my girls would be
just the right medicine to forget the crazy men that had been plaguing my
mind. 

I popped up out of my chair and
started calling my girlfriends….starting with Em.  After multiple calls and
lots of planning, we were headed out for a night on the town on a glorious
Friday evening. 

“Oh my God, you look amazing,
Jen!  What has gotten into you, girl?”  Emily was half drunk, I think, when she
arrived to pick me up.  Cale was our driver for the evening, having given in to
our request for going out only if he could drive us to the club and pick us up
when we were ‘good and drunk’ as he put it.

“Um, have you already been
hitting the sauce, sister?  You seem a little too cheery.”  We both started
laughing and nearly fell down hanging all over each other.  I needed that laugh
so much.  My whole week had been such crap.  I needed to re-center and just
start fresh.  Our night would do just that and I was grateful.

“Okay you two….let’s get you
going.”  Cale…he was just the best!

“Yeah, let’s get going, Jen! 
Geez…”  Emily was a hoot!

We headed downtown off Fifth to
The Tipsy Crow.  I’d found out a great local band was playing there in The
Underground level of the club.  I loved how they had three different levels and
we could just move and mingle amongst tons of people.  I wanted to clear my
head of all things involving my life for a few hours. 

Cale dropped us at the front and
said, “You two stay here and just call when you are ready to go home.  I’ll
pick you up, got it!”

“Yes sir!”  We both saluted and
then burst out laughing.  Cale rolled his eyes and said, “Don’t have too much
fun.  Love you, girls.”  He was such a sweetheart.

“Love you, too!”  We both
screamed the words at the same time and Cale drove off with a big grin on his
face.

“Let’s go, girl!  I need to rid
my mind of men and get my dance ON!”  Em laughed at my declaration.

We headed to the lower level of
the club and ordered drinks.  I had already explained every sorted, ugly detail
to my best friend about my night with Jack and the whole thing with Rylan.  She
felt horrible about setting me up with the prick and even worse about the fact
that he was bragging about it with professional colleagues.  I think she would
have done just about anything to change my whole situation.

I just wanted to forget it all
and being the person Em was, she totally got that and dropped the subject.

We found a tall table with stools
and sat to listen to the band.  Em ordered another round of drinks from the
waitress as she approached.  We didn’t really care how much we were having
since Cale would be back to take us home. 

“Okay, I know you didn’t want to
talk about it, but…what the hell is going on with this Rylan fella?  Why is he
so damned concerned about your fuck-ups?” Thanks, Em.

“Don’t hold back, girl!  Shit!!”

“Well, aren’t you wondering?  Do
you think he thinks you’re an easy lay since Jack the Prick was bragging and he
wants a piece of your fine ass?”  Emily started laughing as she swallowed the
last huge gulp of her drink.

“Yeah!  Thanks, best friend of
mine…for that little seed!  Shit! I don’t know what goes on in any man’s head
let alone Rylan Daniels.”  I paused.  “I did consider his attention as a play
to get into my bed, but I just don’t know.  I think my ‘bullshit’ radar is
malfunctioning.”

“Jen, you have good instincts. 
Maybe they fail you sometimes, but you really do have good ones.  I think you
just need to tread lightly where Rylan Daniels is concerned.  He may be after
something that you aren’t willing to give, whether it is work related or
something else.”  I loved Emily’s take on my life.  She was usually spot
on….except for Jack Woods.

“I think you’re right!  But,
tonight is about letting go and being with friends.  And, Ryland Daniels and
Jack Woods don’t fit into that category, so please, let’s stop talking about
them!”

“Right!”  Just as Em said that,
the band took the stage.  We screamed and acted like teenagers.  It was so much
fun.

By our fourth or fifth drink….I
lost count….we were so giddy and silly it was ridiculous.  We were hanging on a
group of young girls at the table next to us and singing incoherent words to
the songs.  I felt twenty-two again and I’m pretty sure Emily did too. 

At some point, maybe halfway
through the band’s first set, I felt a strange hand on the side of my right hip
and my body froze with a weird sensation.   I looked to Em only to see her
eyebrows raise and her face turn into a slow grin.

I turned around in slow motion to
see the most beautiful face looking at me with a small, crooked smile and
gorgeous gray eyes staring at me.

“Hi,” was all Rylan Daniels said,
his hand still on my hip.

I smiled and said, “Well, hi
yourself.”  Yeah, I was drunk and totally flirting.

He leaned into my ear and said,
“I got your message.  I’m sorry I didn’t call back.  I was in a big meeting
that turned into a shitload of other meetings in Sacramento until this morning. 
Dinner would have been really nice.”

“Yep, that’s what I said!”  I was
a little too enthusiastic in my answer and it made Rylan laugh. 

“I can’t believe you’re here. 
Don’t you think that’s sort of….”  His voice trailed off.

“Strange….weird…..odd.....good?” 
I didn’t stop myself.  Too much liquor.

Rylan smiled, “Yes, good.  That’s
the word.  It’s really good.”  Oh, shit.  I felt my whole body relax and turn
hot.

I looked down at his hand on my
hip.  “Your hand is on my hip.”  I didn’t really mean to say that out loud
because, truth be told…I liked it.

His face drooped and he started
to remove his hand, but I placed mine over his and he looked up at me.  “It’s
okay.  Feels nice, Rylan.”  The smile returned and I felt his hand grip my hip
just a little harder. 

“Hey!”  Emily jolted me from my
encounter.  “You gonna introduce me or what?”

“Yes, Em this is Rylan Daniels. 
Rylan….Emily, my best friend in the whole world!”

“Nice to meet you,” Rylan yelled
over the music.

They shook hands and Emily said,
“Okay, I have to pee!  Be back in a minute.”  I just shook my head and Rylan
laughed.

Standing there, with Rylan’s hand
on my hip and no Em to buffer, things were quiet for a few minutes until Rylan
leaned into my back and started swaying slightly to the music.  My whole body
responded like never before. 

Then, he spoke into my ear, “Is
this okay, Jen?  I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Oh, God yes it was okay!  “Yeah,
this is fine.”  I tried to be as casual as possible, but the feel of this
closed off, beautiful man against me was pretty damned wonderful.

When Emily came back to the
table, I felt Rylan move away from me slightly.  I wasn’t sure what that was,
but it made me feel a little sad and awkward.  I mean, why would he pull away? 

I could feel myself bristling and
wanting to push him away or run.  I controlled it as much as I could until I
finally said, “Em, let’s go dance.”

I walked out of Rylan’s grip,
Em’s hand in mine and headed for the dance floor.  “What the hell was that all
about?”  I knew that even drunk, Emily would pick up on my mood.

“I don’t know.  He was all
leaning into me and being so nice and the minute you walked back over to the
table, he pulled away and I felt his whole body stiffen. 
You
know, I
don’t do well with shit like that…..especially with my recent encounter with
The Prick.  I just needed to escape.”

“What is he doing here anyway?” 
Em asked.

“No idea.  Pure coincidence, I
guess.  He feels dangerous to me.  I could see my heart being completely
crushed by Rylan and I won’t survive another relationship like that.”  Em
nodded her head in agreement.

“Well, let’s just dance and have
fun.  We don’t have to go back to the table at all.  We’ll just stay out here
on the floor and away from Mr. Sexy Whistle Britches.”  She laughed at herself
and I just shook my head and laughed right along with her.