Loving Angel 2 (17 page)

I quickly rose to a sitting position beside him. “What do you mean by get rid of it?” I knew exactly what he was suggesting, but the words were so repellant, I needed him to repeat them again so they could not only register in my brain, but also my broken heart.

“Angel, I know you’re goin
g through some shit right now. I don’t want to upset you, but you can’t tell me you want to have that nigga’s baby.”

“You don’t know that it’s hi
s baby. It could be your baby. Have you thought about that?” I snapped. I couldn’t believe my own husband was telling me to have an abortion. That shit hurt so much.

“We’ve
been having sex without any protection for two years and you didn’t get pregnant again. Then you get raped by this fucker and you’re pregnant. What does that tell you?” He asked heatedly. I knew he wasn’t angry at me. He was just pissed at the situation, but his anger still brought tears to my eyes.

“That’s because I had been taking birth control up until the middle of August,” I confessed. When I had lost my baby two years ago I was very broken up over it for a very long time. Losing a child is one o
f the hardest things a woman had to go through in life and you never really got over it. You just learned to live with the pain. I had started taking the pills secretly because I knew Tyga wanted us to try and have another baby, but I just wasn’t ready until recently.

“So you’re
telling me that you’ve been lying to me all this fucking time, making me believe there was something wrong from the miscarriage. You had me thinking that was why you weren’t getting pregnant when all this time you’ve been taking birth control?” He yelled and he rose to a sitting position. I knew that his anger was directed at me that time.

“I never told you there was anything wrong w
ith me Tyga!” I yelled back. “And if you weren’t such a fucking control freak I wouldn’t have to hide things from you.”

“I wonder what else you’ve been hiding from me.”

“Whatever Tyga. I’m not going to argue with you and I’m not getting an abortion,” I said with finality before lying down again.  “You know how broken hearted I was when we lost our baby. Do you think that I could withstand losing another child again? Especially if I was the one who took its life.”

“You’re not keeping this baby Angel,” he said w
ith determination. Shaking his head, he climbed from the bed, taking his two pillows with him. “Make the appointment. I can’t even believe you’d want to take the chance of giving birth to that nigga’s seed.”

He didn’t wait for a reply from me. He stormed out the door, slamming it behind him. I guess he was going to sleep in one of the guest rooms.

My tears appeared with the slamming of the door. I’d been crying a lot lately and with the way things were going, I knew there were even more tears in my future. I knew how stubborn Tyga could be when he wanted to have his way. He would drag me kicking and screaming to that abortion clinic if that was what it took to get rid of my baby. I knew there was a fifty percent possibility that the baby could be Ninja’s, but even if he was the father I would still be the mother. How could I take away my child’s chance at life? I had suffered so much over the last month and I wasn’t about to add to my suffering by doing something I knew would break me inside.

I twisted and turned in bed for hours
, but couldn’t fall back asleep. It wasn’t until almost five in the morning that I realized what I had to do to.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

TYGA

I couldn’t sleep last night because I felt like such a dick for arguing with Sexy
, so I got up mad early and headed to the gym.

I was
sprinting on the treadmill and all of the sweating as I exerted my body still didn’t make my head feel any better, or take away my anger. I was real fucked up in the dome at the moment. Once again another nigga had kidnapped my wife and I wasn’t there to protect her. Once again another nigga had violated my wife and although I was supposed to be that nigga in those streets, it didn’t stop a mother fucker from touching what was mine.

It was killing me inside knowing that someone else had been up in the pussy that I had previously had exclusive rights to and my hate for that bitch Ninja was so great sometimes I didn’t think I could contain it. The things I dreamt of doing to him would have even the most ardent sadist paling in fear.

I loved Angel so much. The only other people in this world who meant as much to me as she did were my son and brother. It was hurting like hell knowing that I was going to have to cause her more pain, but I couldn’t allow her to have that baby. I couldn’t even imagine my wife giving birth to a child who was a product of her being violated by a nigga in the worst way. Every time I looked at the little bastard I would probably despise it because of my hatred for its father. It wouldn’t be fair to an innocent baby, so the best solution would be to just get rid of it.

I was so into my own head that I didn’t even notice when Delco came up to me.

Damn, I was slipping.

“You’re trying to break t
hat machine or what my nigga?” He chuckled.

I turned down the setting on the treadmill from a sprint to a jog. “Something
like that,” I replied, sounding out of breath.

He got on the machine beside mine. “What’s up?” My nigga always knew when something was bothering me. It was the advantage of being close friends with someone all your life.

“Man, Angel’s pregnant,” I sighed.

“Damn, that’s rough.”

“Yeah, I told her she has to get an abortion and we had an argument because she doesn’t want to do it,” I confessed, hopping from the treadmill. I removed my towel from around my neck and used it to mop off the sweat running down my face.

He hopped of
f his machine also, although I was sure he wasn’t done working out yet. “So what are you going to do?”

“I really don’t want to add to her hurt
, but if I have to drag her ass to that clinic she’s getting rid of that baby. I can’t even imagine my girl having a baby by the nigga that raped her. That shit would be too damn much for me to handle.”

“Dude
it could be yours and not his. Have you thought about that?” He made the exact point Angel had made.

“I can’t take the risk. The amount of hate I have for that nigga
. I just know I would transfer it to that baby and that would be mad fucked up,” I revealed, shaking my head sadly. “It’s just too much man.”

“I understand.” H
e nodded. “All this damn baby drama. You’re not the only one going through it.”

“What’s good with you?”

“Fucking Maria is driving me nuts because she knows I’m having a baby by Daisy. Sometimes I wish the bitch stayed at her sister’s house when she found out about my seed instead of returning home a couple days later to make my life miserable.” I was starting to think my nigga was only with that chick because he felt obligated to her. “Now she’s talking about we should have a baby together.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

“I’m not trying to have no more babies right now. I already have one on the way. Plus, I know Daisy would leave my ass for sure if that shit happens.”

“I thought she already left your dumb ass,” I teased.

“She’s gonna take a nigga back soon, just watch.” He chuckled before a sober look came over his face. “I think I’m going to have to break up with Maria. I mean I love her and appreciate that she rode for me, but the time I spent away from Daisy made me realize that although I love them both, I’m only in love with Daisy.”

I thought that fool wasn’t ever going to figure that shit out. Since his baby mama to be gave him the ultimatum
, I had been noticing that he was more into her than Maria. He would complain nonstop about Daisy not seeing him anymore. The look on his face when he bitched was one of intense longing, but when he talked about Maria, he gave the impression that he just felt both irritation and obligation.

“Well
, I’m glad you came to your senses.” I laughed patting him on the back playfully. “Was kinda getting tired of you bitching about your baby mama. Everyone can see that what you need to do is just man up and get things over with Maria so you can be with Daisy.”

After I finished my workout, I headed back to my crib. It was still early, but I was hoping Angel would be up so we could talk things through. I didn’t want to upset her, but I needed her to see things from my point of view.

Angel wasn’t home when I got there and I immediately got heated that she left the house without a bodyguard. After what happened the last time she did some reckless shit like that
, I couldn’t believe she would try that shit again. I called her phone three times back to back, but it just went straight to voicemail. After calling Daisy and not getting an answer from her, I called my wife’s phone again and left a message.

“I hope you didn’t leave the fucking house without a bodyguard,” I snapped into the phone. “When you get this message you better call right back
, or you won’t like what I’ll do to you.”

I was more afraid than angry. I guess my wife wasn’t the only one who was traumatized by what happened to her because coming home and finding her missing
, plus not being able to reach her on the phone, had me sweating bricks.

I was about to call her mother and then her whoring cousin Keya if I had to
, when I spotted a note taped to the dresser. I ripped it off and began reading it and the more I read the more upset I got.

Tyga,

I’m writing you this message to let you know that I’ve decided to leave NY for a while. With everything that has happened and is now happening, I think I need this time to myself and we need this time apart. I love you with all my heart and my soul, but I can’t and won’t kill my baby for you. I know you think it’s what’s best for us and I know you aren’t trying to intentionally hurt me. I don’t think I could live with myself if I killed this child. I’m sorry for taking our son away from you, but it won’t be for long. I hope you respect my decision and don’t come looking for me to cause me more pain and stress.

I think you really need this time too to get over what has happened to me. I know you blame yourself and I want you to know that I don’t blame you. There wasn’t anything anyone could have done to prevent what that asshole did to me. Hopefully by the time I return home we ca
n put the past behind us and move forward with our future.

Love Sexy

I crumpled the note into a ball and threw it against the wall. I couldn’t believe she had left me. I felt a tight pain in my chest that felt like my lungs were suffocating and had to sit on the bed with my head in my hands. I wasn’t about to cry like some bitch about that shit. I would just find her and drag her ass home.

There was absolutely no way in hell I’d allow her to leave me.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

KEYA

I had just finished my set and was sitting at my station snorting a line of coke through a rolled up one dollar bill. Lately I’d been enjoying the pleasures of the white lady more often than not. It kind of made me feel like I was becoming an addict, but it was the only way I could get through most days. I rested my head on the back of my chair and closed my eyes. The feeling of the narcotic surging through my system took me on a train ride filled with nothing but bliss. Soon I would be able to forget all of the fucked up things in my life. Or maybe it was that I could just ignore them when I was high.

I hated thinking about the fact that I had HIV and that my T-cell count kept getting lower and lower no matter what drug cocktail I took. The doctors said if one of the set of medications didn’t start working soon
, in no time I would have full blown AIDS.

I also hated thinking about all the shit I went through at
Dread’s house of horrors
. I may have stolen that description from my cousin Angel, but it was a very apt depiction of the immoral things that took place at Dread’s crib. Sometimes when I closed my eyes I could still hear his maniacal laugh. I could feel him forcing his humongous dick up my ass, tearing it apart until it was a bloody mess.

Yeah, I needed my drugs and I wasn’t ashamed to say it. It was the only means for me to function in this fucked up world.

“Are you ok Juicy?” I heard Crystal asking in a concerned voice.

Before I could reply I heard Delicious saying, “That hoe is just high again. Leave her alone. It’s only a matter of time before she moves on from coke and start sucking on that glass dick.”

That bitch really needed to mind her own fucking business, but I was feeling too nice at the moment to teach her a lesson.

“I’m good Crystal,” I told the white girl, opening my eyes to her look of worry. “I’m just chilling for a minute before I hit the floor.”