Losing Faith (24 page)

Cullen pulled back on the throttle, slowed to idle speed, and left the helm to ready his lines. When his bow, stern, and midship lines were secure and set, he returned to the helm. He entered the jetty and followed the channel markers into the harbor. Fort Sumter was standing regally off of his port bow, and as he passed it by, he actually surprised himself by saying a quick prayer for all the people who had lost their lives there during the Civil War.

To Cullen’s right the amazing Cooper River Bridge loomed large and grand in the distance. To his left was the more understated Ashley River, and straight ahead was the historic Charleston Battery.

Taking in the scenery before him, Cullen acknowledged hundreds of church steeples dotting the Charleston skyline, and the sight tugged insistently at his heart. He’d read somewhere that Charleston had over four hundred places of worship.
They don’t call Charleston the “Holy City” for nothing.

Cullen radioed the marina with his arrival, and they had assigned him a slip just inside the megadock, across from the Carolina Queen paddle-wheeler. He couldn’t actually see the dock or his slip until he rounded the paddle-wheeler’s bow, but when he did, his jaw dropped.

Is that? Could that be? Jesus! It is!

The sun was shining off golden locks that could only belong to Abel. He was standing next to the dockhand in all his gorgeous glory. They locked eyes instantly, and Cullen felt a broad smile spread across his face. His swelling heart started beating rapidly against his ribcage and, if left unattended, would no doubt have leapt out of his chest.

Cullen! You have to stay in control just long enough to dock this boat and then you can freak out all you want. But not now!

Cullen did stay in control. He fought the ebbing tides and swift currents and maneuvered
T-Time
right up to the dock so Abel and the dockhand could reach the already set lines and secure them to the cleats. When he shut off the engines, he whispered, “Thank you, God.” For safe passage and for Abel.

ABEL HAD
made the trip to Charleston with anticipation, excitement, and yes, trepidation. He’d arrived just before three o’clock, and he was as nervous as he’d ever been. Not having any idea how he would be received had almost been his undoing. But if he hadn’t given this a shot, he would have wondered for the rest of his life.

He would not have wondered about his feelings because he already knew how he felt about Cullen. But the big question was, how did Cullen feel about him? He sensed Cullen cared about him, but was Cole’s memory still too raw for Cullen even to consider another relationship? As he pulled into the Charleston City Marina parking lot, Abel knew he would have all the answers to his questions very soon.

If Cullen didn’t want him, he would get back into his car and drive until he found a place that suited him. Atlanta, maybe. Or he’d heard nice things about Birmingham, Alabama. But he tried not to think about those possibilities yet. Leaving Cullen behind was his last resort.

After making his way to the dock master’s office, Abel found out to which boat slip
T-Time
would be assigned and followed their directions to find it.

As it turned out, Cullen’s slip was directly across from a huge old paddle-wheeler, and Abel couldn’t see around it, so he had no way of knowing when Cullen would arrive. Abel paced up and down the dock nervously until a dockhand showed up and said Cullen would be there any minute.

Abel started to tremble slightly. His breathing increased, and if he wasn’t careful, he was afraid he’d start hyperventilating right there on the dock. He placed his hand over his stomach and pressed in an attempt to steady it from the continuous backflips happening deep inside of his abdomen. But instead of settling, they intensified, making him almost nauseated.

“There he is.” The dockhand pointed as
T-Time
rounded the front of the paddle-wheeler, and Cullen’s face slowly came into view. He and Cullen locked eyes for one instant, and Abel knew. He released the breath he was holding. The smile on Cullen’s face told him everything he needed to know. He had his answer. He was finally home.

Abel couldn’t stand still. He was bouncing from one foot to the other and had to stick his hands in his pockets to keep them from waving continuously.

Cullen, on the other hand, had docking to worry about. Not to mention dealing with other boats and currents. But from the smile on his face, he was having just as hard a time concentrating as Abel.

As ever the master captain, Cullen gingerly brought the boat up to the dock, and Abel grabbed the bowline and held it as the dockhand grabbed the midship and stern lines and secured the boat to the cleats.

When the roar of the engines faded into silence, the lack of sound made Abel’s thoughts go wild and a little doubtful. But when he and Cullen locked eyes for the second time, he was again solid. Grounded. Abel hoped his own expression conveyed every emotion he was feeling, but in actuality, how could it?

It must have given Cullen enough of a glimpse because in two seconds flat, Cullen was down the stairs, onto the dock, and standing ten feet in front of Abel, his dazzling blue eyes gazing lovingly into Abel’s.

Abel wanted to go to him, but his feet felt like lead. He couldn’t move. He wanted his arms around Cullen, but he was too terrified to go to him.

The dockhand took the unsecured bowline from Abel’s hand, wrapped it around the cleat, and walked back to Cullen. “Can I help you with the electric and water?”

“No, thanks. I’ve got it.” Cullen handed the man something, probably a tip, and the man said thanks and hurried away to assist the next boater.

Cullen found Abel’s eyes again, and they held each other’s gaze for a very long moment.

Cullen was the first to speak. “I thought I’d lost you.”

Abel found the will to take one step closer to Cullen. “Not a chance.”

Cullen matched his step. “But Agnes said you sent her to ask me to leave Southport.”

Abel took another step, lessening the gap between them still more. “She lied. I could never ask you to leave. I love you too much for that.”

Cullen matched his step again.

“But Agnes said Pastor Williams drove you upstate for conversion therapy.”

“She lied again. I never left Southport until I followed you here.”

One last step and Abel launched himself into Cullen’s arms. Burying his face in Cullen’s neck, Abel inhaled deeply. Home.

Cullen lifted Abel off of the ground and spun him around. When he next spoke, his voice was low and full of disdain. “We were played, Abel.”

“It appears that way,” Abel said. “But they gambled and lost. And they’ll answer for it someday.”

“Can we get off this dock now?”

“Please,” Abel said.

“I need to hook up the water and the power before we run the batteries down. Wanna help?”

“Aye, aye, Captain.” Abel brought his hand to his forehead in a mock salute.

Cullen’s laugh was as hearty a laugh as Abel had ever heard escape the man’s lips, and it warmed him to his core.

Minutes later both men kicked off their shoes, and Abel climbed down the stairs to the saloon with Cullen right behind him.

“Abel.” Cullen grabbed Abel by the arm and spun him around. He covered Abel’s lips in a crushing kiss, and when he moaned against Abel’s mouth, Abel opened to him. Cullen’s kiss was insatiable. He tasted like everything Abel loved in this world. Everything Abel would ever need.

Abel was still in the same clothes he’d worn to church the day before, his tie now hanging loosely around his neck. As Cullen kissed him, Abel felt Cullen’s hand sliding the tie through his shirt collar and tossing it aside. Cullen ripped Abel’s dress shirt apart at the chest, and Abel heard buttons ricochet against windows and cabinetry. Cullen broke their kiss just long enough to pull Abel’s white T-shirt over his head.

“Don’t.” Cullen kissed him again. “Ever.” Another kiss. “Leave.” A third kiss. “Me.”

“I want to explain,” Abel whispered.

“Later!”

Cullen pulled his sweatshirt over his head, took Abel by the hand, and led him to his cabin. When they stepped through the door, Cullen spun Abel around and pinned him to the door. “I need you, Abel. I want you to claim me. I want you inside me.”

Abel spun Cullen around, raised Cullen’s arms over his head, and held his wrists tightly, pinning him against the door. When their lips met again, they both gasped into each other’s mouths. The warmth and wetness drove Abel mad with desire.

He’d wanted this. Waited for this. But Cullen had never seemed ready. Abel had always thought Cole had claimed that part of Cullen and had taken it with him, but now Cullen was asking him for it. Needing it from him. And begging him for it.

Abel broke their kiss, and Cullen moaned in protest. But Abel ignored him and licked his way down Cullen’s chin to his neck, where he delivered soft wet kisses over his shoulder before lowering his attentions and burying his face in Cullen’s warm armpit, first one and then the other, inhaling and licking the scent he so desperately craved.

Focusing his kisses elsewhere, Abel dropped even lower to Cullen’s chest. There he teased Cullen’s nipples, biting and sucking, drawing gasps from Cullen and then licking and soothing away the obvious sting. Releasing Cullen’s wrists, Abel dropped lower and licked his way down Cullen’s torso, following the line of hair that always intrigued him until he was on his knees and face to face with the bulge in Cullen’s jeans.

Abel slapped his hand on top of Cullen’s bulge and squeezed it tightly, grabbing Cullen’s ass with his other hand and kneading it. Abel’s tongue was lodged inside of Cullen’s navel as he worked Cullen from both ends until Cullen was gyrating and trembling beneath his touch.

Cullen sucked in a ragged breath when Abel snaked his hand down the front of Cullen’s jeans and rubbed the moist head of Cullen’s cock with the tip of a callused finger. Cullen stiffened, and his cock jumped at Abel’s touch. Cullen grew visibly harder as Abel released the buttons of his fly one at a time, until Cullen’s jeans were hanging open and the outline of Cullen’s length was visible through his black boxer briefs.

Abel yanked Cullen’s jeans to his ankles, and Cullen stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. Abel stood and, in a herculean move that surprised even him, lifted Cullen’s six-foot two-inch frame into his arms like he was a ragdoll and carried him to the bed.

When Abel set Cullen down on the bed, Cullen’s eyes were wide with obvious surprise. He smiled at Abel and shook his head.

“You continue to amaze me,” Cullen whispered.

“And I intend on doing that for the rest of our lives.”

Cullen sat up and pulled Abel between his open legs. He unbuckled Abel’s belt, unfastened his black dress pants, and let them fall to the floor. Abel stepped out of his pants and brought a foot up to remove his sock when Cullen slapped his hand away. “Me.”

Abel laughed quietly as Cullen peeled his black sock off and tossed it to the floor and then lifted the other foot and did the same. Clad in nothing now but his underwear, Abel shoved Cullen to his back and straddled Cullen’s chest.

Cullen pulled the waistband of Abel’s briefs down, exposing Abel’s hard length, the head already glistening with his excitement. He stuck his tongue out and licked the juice lingering there, earning a loud gasp from Abel. Abel lifted up to his knees, and Cullen pulled Abel’s underwear as far down as he could, Abel giving him clear access to what he seemed to want so desperately.

Cullen swallowed Abel to the back of his throat and held him there, Abel trembling from the sensation, and then slid his mouth back up and down again, taking Abel’s breath away. Cullen squeezed and juggled Abel’s balls with one hand while he worked his mouth and hand up and down Abel’s length over and over, until Abel felt his balls tightening and pulled away before he lost his release on the spot.

Abel slid down the bed and knelt between Cullen’s legs. He pulled Cullen’s underwear down and off and buried his face in Cullen’s crotch. Cullen’s masculine scent filled his nostrils to capacity, the scent seemingly even more intense than usual. He took Cullen into his mouth and worked him up and down, focusing on the sensitive area under the head, stopping only to suck and nibble on Cullen’s balls, tossing them around in his mouth and releasing them.

Abel hadn’t been sexually active for all that long, but he was a quick learner. He’d been trying to master everything Cullen had done to him during the first few times they’d been together, and with each encounter, he felt more and more confident in his abilities. But he was about to embark on a totally new experience. He’d never been inside anyone before, and he was a little bit nervous. Cullen had been so patient with him, and he kept telling himself that all he could do was to try his best to remember everything Cullen had done, and he would be okay. Maybe not perfect, but okay.

Cullen must have sensed his apprehension. “Stop worrying. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Sorry,” Abel said. “I want this to be good for you.”

“It will be good for me because it’s you, Abel. You are good for me.”

With Cullen’s words, Abel felt a new sense of confidence. He lifted Cullen’s legs over his head, and Cullen took them from there. Abel used both his hands to hold Cullen’s cheeks apart and ran his tongue over Cullen’s opening. The taste was so sweet, Abel couldn’t help but linger—licking, probing, and sucking, and then doing it all over again. Abel’s actions were relaxing Cullen. He could feel Cullen loosening up with each probe of his tongue.

Abel licked his index finger and pressed it against Cullen’s hole. Cullen moaned and shuddered under him. He took that as a sign and pushed his finger in just until he felt resistance, and then he retreated. Cullen bucked and pushed against him, so Abel pressed all the way in, past the muscle and as far as his finger would go. He pulled out just a little and moved his finger around, searching for the little bump that every time Cullen rubbed against inside him drove him absolutely crazy. He moved his finger a couple more times and felt it at the same time as Cullen hissed and arched his back.