Living Again (51 page)

She tackled him, landing on top of him on the carpet. Alexis squealed and clapped her hands, playing now with her kitchen. “You. Are. Too. Much.” She kissed him in between words. “You’re going to spoil me rotten with all of this.”

“Just like Alexis,” he laughed. “And I will love every second of it.”

She reached around her and pulled out another box. This one was big. “Last one.”

Ben sat up and took the bow off the box, holding it up. “Hmm, let’s save this bow for later. You can wrap yourself up in it and I can unwrap my present.”

Kayley pointed at the box. “Focus.”

Grinning at her, Ben opened the box and pulled out a leather portfolio. On the cover it said, in embossed letters, ‘
For Your Eyes Only
.’ Curious, he opened it, wondering what in the world could be in it. As he opened the first page, a piece of tissue paper covered what was behind it. He slowly moved the paper, and he swore his heart stopped. On the front page was his love, leaning over a chair, wearing the pink lingerie she had worn for him their first night together. Her hair was curled and pinned up, and she wore that sexy pink lipstick and dark makeup on her eyes. He looked up at her, his eyes showing the shock he felt. She…had pictures done? For him? She looked at him, a small smile playing on her lips.

He turned to the next page and saw her laid back on a white backdrop, her back arched and her head dropped back. Her hair was fanned behind her, and her eyes were closed. She wore the amazing pink bikini he loved, and a pair of pink high heels. He felt like he could hyperventilate, right here. The one across from that was her standing up, her back to the camera, and her peeking over her shoulder. She was holding her hair up with her hands.

“Oh. My. God.” Ben couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She did this. For him. This had to have been completely out of her comfort zone. “Kayley. These are breathtaking. I can’t believe you did this.”

“Keep going,” she said, her voice husky. He turned back to the book, turning to the next page. She was wearing a black lace thong, a black lace bra, black garters, and the highest black stilettos he had ever seen. She had one leg up on a chair and was looking at the camera with the hottest look on her face. He wasn’t sure he could keep looking at this book while in the company of their daughter. He may have a problem that he couldn’t solve right now. She reached over and turned the page when she saw him stuck on that one. He couldn’t imagine it getting better than the ones he had already seen.

The next picture was her in a Santa lingerie set, and he laughed. He had never seen that before. He would never think of Santa the same again after that. Following that was one of her in a side view, wearing only a hot pink lace thong, a hot pink bra slung over her shoulder. The curve of her breast could be seen under her arm.

“One more,” she purred in his ear, running her tongue along it. She really, really couldn’t do that right now. Turning to the last page, she wore his doctor coat, with his name, Dr. Ben Nichols, embroidered on the left, and a pair of white thongs and garters. A stethoscope hung from her neck, right down her cleavage.

“How did you? What the…” Ben was unable to complete a thought. He looked at the clock. “Is it naptime, yet?”

Kayley giggled. “Nope. And your parents and mine will be here by then, anyway. Look at what else is in the box.”

Ben groaned. “Our
parents?
You really should not have killed me with this and then told me I had to wait hours before touching you. Am I going to live through what else is in this box?”

She shrugged her shoulders, a playful look on her face. Ben moved more tissue paper and laughed when he saw what was inside. The pink lingerie, pink bathing suit, black underwear and bra, hot pink underwear and bra, Santa lingerie set, and instead of his doctor coat, which was right now hanging in his office, was a nurse lingerie get up that completely piqued his interest.

“You can pick what you want me to wear tonight to make those pictures come alive for you,” she whispered in his ear.

“Can we take a turn in all of them?” Ben lay back on the carpet, pulling her with him.

“Sure, if you want to. I take it you like your last present?”

Ben pinned her to the carpet, kissing her neck, ear, and then lips. His tongue licked her lips and she opened for him, ready. He sucked her tongue, then nipped at it, growling low in his throat. Pulling away enough that his lips were touching hers, but he could talk. “You talk about me always surprising you? You’re the same way. I would’ve never guessed that was what was in that box. You blew me away. I will keep that until we’re old and gray and show all my buddies around the Moose lodge how hot my wife is.”

“You mean was,” she corrected, twinging at his use of the word wife. “I won’t look like that anymore.”

“You’ll be just as beautiful to me,” he kissed her again, leaving her breathless and wanting more. “Thank you. This all was just amazing.”

“You can put the bow in the box, too, if you want, for your selection later.” She looked at him shyly. He loved this playful, flirtatious side of her.

“Best. Christmas. Ever.”

Ben lay with Alexis on the couch, her head on his chest and his hand rubbing through her baby curls. She was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and he was enjoying the peace and quiet. Kayley was still asleep, and he let her. Today would be an emotional day, and he was determined to do anything to make it even a tad easier for her. On this day two years ago, Kayley’s husband Alex and Alexis’ daddy, had passed away. While Alexis called him Daddy, she also knew she had “another Daddy” in Heaven. They now referred to him as Daddy Alex. His picture was still in her room, and they reminded her. He never wanted her to think that he was taking her place.

Last year, a month before Ben had met her, she had let his ashes go at their favorite beach surrounded by her family and friends. That was also the day that she had taken off her wedding rings. A month later, Ben had met her when her baby girl got sick on her first birthday. It had been an absolutely turbulent couple of years, but he knew that things were looking up for her.

It had been three months since the disaster that almost ended their relationship, and they were ecstatically happy. But as happy as they were, Ben knew that this day would always be a challenging one for Kayley. And while some men would feel threatened by the memories she had of Alex, he didn’t. He would never discount that she loved that man before he was around, and that man had given him not only Kayley, but Alexis, too. He was forever indebted to him. He felt sad that Kayley had been through so much, but he felt nothing but admiration and respect for Alex’s memory. And when Kayley looked at him, he knew that she loved him beyond a shadow of a doubt.

“Good Morning,” Kayley said from behind him.

“Mommy! Watch Mickey wif me?”

Ben turned, catching Kayley’s eyes. She didn’t have to say a word for him to know she was battling her sadness over her happiness. “Hey, baby. I made coffee, and Lex and I got some bagels from the corner place.” He kissed Alexis on the head and moved her over. “Be right back, Lex.”

He stood up, walking to Kayley, knowing she needed his touch and acceptance right now. He wrapped his arms around her and she put her head on his chest, wrapping her own arms around his waist. She knew she didn’t have to tell him what today was—he already knew. Ben was always good with the details. She breathed the scent of him in, knowing that she had so much to be thankful for, even on this sad day. Needing to touch his skin, she lifted his tee shirt and put her hands on his back, caressing his strong muscles. He mirrored her, rubbing his hands down her back. They stood, not saying a word, until Kayley stepped back.

“Thank you,” she said, unshed tears in her eyes. She blinked them back.

“You’re so strong,” Ben said, lacing his fingers with hers. “I’m with you every step of the way. Today and every day.”

“I know,” she kissed him. “Because you’re with me today, this will be a lot better.”

After breakfast, they got Alexis ready and headed to the beach. Packing all her beach toys, they planned on making it a day there. Riding in the passenger seat, Kayley was quiet on the way, looking out the window. Ben simply held her hand, allowing her the time to remember Alex.

She knew that today was a much different day than the year before, and a world away from two years ago. While she was very sad, she now had a different reason to live, and he sat next to her in this car. Last year when she had been here, pouring Alex’s ashes into the water, her heart had felt empty. Today, no matter how hard it was, it was made so much better with Ben by her side.

Arriving at the beach, Kayley got Alexis out of the back and started walking towards the sand. Ben followed behind, carrying the rest of their things. It would just be them today; that was the way that Kayley wanted it. Alexis ran for the water. She loved it here.

“Stay right by the edge,” Kayley spoke for the first time since they left home. She stopped, listening to her mom. Walking out to the water, she took Alexis’ hand and looked out, watching the waves lap to the shore. She looked up at her, and Kayley picked her up. “Look at the pretty waves, Lexi.”

“Waves pwetty,” Alexis echoed.

“You know your Daddy Alex?”

Alexis nodded. “He my Daddy in Heaven. Daddy is wight hewe.” She pointed her finger as Ben walked up next to them.

“Yes, Daddy Alex is in Heaven. He loves you very much. He loves watching you grow up. You’re a very special little girl, Alexis. You got to have two daddies.”

“Daddy Alex wuv Wex. He in Heaven. Me wuv Daddy.” Alexis reached her arms out for Ben and he took her, moving closer to Kayley and using his free arm to pull her to him.

“Your Daddy Alex let me borrow you,” Ben said, knowing she had no idea what he was saying but saying it anyway. “I am so glad I get to be your Daddy here, Lex. Mommy and Daddy love you so much.”

Kayley crossed her arms and looked away. Ben felt the tension in her body as she tried to hold it together. “Baby,” he said softly. “It’s okay to cry. Don’t be afraid to cry for him in front of me.”

She looked over at Ben, the man who was so confident in their love that he didn’t care if she cried over her former husband. “I’m okay,” she said, smiling weakly. “I’m sad, but right now, it’s more that I’m sad for Alex. I’m sad he never got to meet her. I’m sad that he had his whole life ahead of him and he was taken in such a tragic way. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“You didn’t deserve what happened to you, either,” Ben let Alexis down so she could dig in the sand. She toddled over to her sand toys and got right to work. “Your life was cut short, in a way. You had to endure a loss that people your age shouldn’t have to. Then you had to learn how to be a mom and a dad at the same time. You should feel so proud of yourself, Kayley. You survived. You moved on. And look at you- you’re actually
living again
.”

“I’m loving again, too,” Kayley reminded him. “All thanks to you. Much of my progress over the last year has been because of meeting you. You pushed me when I needed to be pushed, laid off when needed, and showed me that I deserve to have love again. And I don’t just have ‘love’, Ben. I’m more in love with you than I can ever remember feeling in my life. So while this day will probably always make me sad, it no longer makes me sad for myself. Everything happens for a reason, and I know that I was meant to be with you.”

Ben’s heart swelled. For this woman to be saying these words, about him, on the day that her husband died, showed a lot about her. She was the bravest person he had ever met. “Let’s go play with our daughter.” Ben took her by the hand and they sat in the sand, building sandcastles, enjoying their time together.

The three of them sat at the dinner table. It was Friday night, and they were both exhausted from a long week. Instead of cooking, they had opted for their favorite pizza place.

“Wex wuv pit-ta,” Alexis shoved a piece in her mouth. Ben laughed, always amused by her. “So baby, I have something to talk to you about,” he said.