License to Love (65 page)

He scooped up a giggling Aubrey to give her a hug. “You’re
one cute little girl. Already breaking hearts, I bet.”

Aubrey patted his face with a solemn expression. Then, “Nose!”

“No grabbing, Aubrey Lynn!” Savanna stepped closer and
reached for the tiny hand fisted around Jason’s nose while he laughed. He
reached up to his face and bumped into her hand. The awkward part came when
neither moved their hand away.

He didn’t care how crazy it made him, he needed to touch
her. Staring into her eyes made his heart thump all over his body. He felt so
alive for a second. Aubrey looked gleeful over the reaction while they stared
at each other, their hands still touching. His stomach clenched. He hadn’t
meant to let her see his feelings, and he suddenly knew she’d been hiding hers
too. She could see the consequences, just as he could.

He let her take Aubrey back so she could leave. She didn’t
look at him when she walked through the gate, even though he held it open.

“I’ll let you know about moving in. Thanks, Jason.”

But after that wild look in her eyes, he wasn’t sure she’d
be back.

What a day. Aubrey played and fussed in bed till ten that
night. Now, at almost eleven, Savanna stretched out on the bed, closed her eyes
and tried not to see Jason. Her efforts didn’t work.

His searching brown eyes came to mind, that strong nose, and
his three-day beard that gave him a desperado look, and she imagined quite a
few women wanted to tame him. She wanted to know him and help him fix this mess
with Cassie.

But what about living next door to him? Was that the right
thing to do? She’d followed her plans and had done the right thing before, and
it didn’t get her anywhere. Not anywhere good at least. She could convince
herself it’d be good for Cassie if she moved out, and maybe good for her too,
but the whole Jason aspect threw a huge shadow of doubt over everything.

She thought about sleep but heard Cassie walking through the
house. Getting out of bed as quietly as she could, Savanna stepped out and shut
the door behind her. She found Cassie looking through pictures in a shoebox at
the kitchen table, the light soft above her. The house was painted soft
lavender outside, like a few blackberries smashed in a bowl full of milk, and
Cassie’s love of pastels showed on the inside as well. She’d painted the
kitchen a soft pink color.

Cassie looked up for a minute. “I thought I’d have plenty of
time to get these organized into photo albums.”

“I’m sorry, Cass.”

“I keep hearing that.” She sounded distracted as she stared
at the pictures. Then Cassie put the pictures back in the box and replaced the
lid. “But thanks.”

Savanna sat down, wishing she could come up with something
else, something that could make Cassie feel better. “I need to know how you’re
really doing.”

“I don’t know what to tell you because I’m not sure.”
Cassie’s chocolate-colored eyes had looked so sad since Savanna arrived. She
wanted to see them alive and bright again.

“I found a place,” Savanna said, “but I won’t leave till
you’re ready to be alone.” Why’d she use that word, alone? What a horrible
thing to say.

“You did?” Cassie’s gaze moved from the box of pictures to
Savanna. “You’re ready to move into your own place?”

“It’s close, so I could drop by every day. Just two blocks
away.”

Cassie’s eyes narrowed. “What are you leading up to?”

A sigh. Almost a laugh. “You know me too well.” Savanna
hoped this wouldn’t go down like she had envisioned. Doubt swept in like a herd
of horses, and she wanted to backtrack, but it was too late. “It’s just that
Jason has an empty townhouse.”

“Jason? You’d be living next door to him, you know. I
couldn’t go over there.” She folded her arms and sat stiffly.

“You wouldn’t have to.” A long silence ensued.

Cassie seemed to be lost in thought, something she’d been
doing a lot of since Mike died. Then, “Why is he helping you?”

That was a good question. She wanted to say what a good guy
he was and how he had saved her life before. He’d probably saved many lives.
Surely he just wanted to help, but she was unable to take that angle with
Cassie right now. “I need to start getting on my feet at some point. I don’t
know that many people around here, but he’s willing to help.”

Cassie still looked at her with scrunched brows.

Savanna added, “I won’t leave till I know you’ll be okay.”

She sighed. “I will. I’m making it. I just have to think one
day at a time, one hour, whatever will take me to the next thing.”

Savanna bit her tongue before she said it’d get better. She
didn’t know that; she’d just heard it so many times.
Time heals all wounds
.
Cassie had the right to slap anyone who told her that right now.

Life goes on, even when it shouldn’t. That had been
bothering her until the last few days. The next step, the next day, and time
keeps moving. Otherwise people would stay in their pain and never get free.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d go through with this, staying here,”
Cassie said after the pause. “So things between you and Eric are that far gone?
I’m sorry that I’m happy you’re here again, but I am.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Savanna touched her arm. “I made this
mess, and now I’m fixing it.” Maybe she should have kept her mouth shut,
because now Cassie looked curious. She wanted answers. Savanna had told her
mom, and even Jason, more than she’d told Cassie. Maybe pride got in her way.
“I . . .”

“Are you ever going to tell me?” Cassie leaned over the
table to look at her closer. “I want to know if he’s going to come looking for
you. The truth.”

“Oh.” She almost laughed, but it sounded like she choked.
“Cassie, he won’t come. He left me. Eric was off with other women. Or one
woman, I don’t know.” None of it even mattered anymore. Only Aubrey mattered.

“I’m disgusted.” Cassie shook her head. “I would have told
you to leave him.”

“You know what it did to me not having a father, and I kept
thinking I couldn’t do that to Aubrey.” She tapped her fingers on the table,
stalling. Finally, she added, “He kept saying he didn’t want kids, but then I
got pregnant. I thought he’d change his mind, but instead he grew more and more
distant. When Aubrey came, he wanted a divorce.”

The look of concern she saw in Cassie’s eyes felt so
familiar and right. “Bastard. I’m glad it’s over then.”

“I thought he’d come around. I told myself that while I was
pregnant, but he didn’t.”

“So it was over since Aubrey was born, but you stuck around
over there?”

“In case . . . in case he came back to us.” Savanna bit her
tongue too late. She’d said it.

Cassie reached over and took Savanna’s hand. “I wish you would
have told us, come home sooner.”

Savanna’s control cracked and a sob shook her. A second
later she felt Cassie’s arms come around her. “But you’re home now. And we’re
supposed to keep going. That’s what they say, anyway.”

Five

“I shouldn’t let you do this.” Savanna gave a grateful smile
to Jason and his two friends standing with her outside the townhouse door.

“Nonsense! We’re glad to help,” said Mark Vaccariello,
Jason’s friend from the fire department. Jason had brought two men from work,
and they were bound and determined to help her move in.

Jason hooked his thumbs in his pockets. “Besides, how many
times have you moved your stuff by yourself now?” he asked. Mark and the third
man, Larry, planted their feet and both crossed their arms.

Quite a few. “All right, I could use some help.” She gave
Jason the combination to her self-storage unit and watched as the three of them
drove off in Larry’s truck. They had even turned down her offer to go help load
things.

She stood in the open doorway of the townhouse to feel the
cool breeze. Birds from the surrounding trees sang in the quiet morning. She
loved how the trees provided a constant pine and cedar smell. Jason had smelled
good, too, like Stetson. His cologne choice intrigued her—a city firefighter
wearing it, but she didn’t care. It smelled good on him. He wore a T-shirt, one
that fit him nicely, and she had no idea how she’d keep from drooling over him
all day. She loved those biceps.

Admiring his biceps, however, wasn’t part of her plan. She hoped
moving here wouldn’t ruin her chances of helping Cassie, but she felt that
getting Aubrey out of Cassie’s house was good for both of them. Cassie had put
on a fake, forced cheerfulness when Savanna had rounded up her things the night
before.

It was a bittersweet decision to move here. While she wanted
to help Cassie and be supportive, she needed to provide some stability for
Aubrey. Cassie’s house was decorated brightly, yet the atmosphere was anything
but right now. That was one side of this issue. Savanna didn’t like admitting
the other side, but thinking about living so close to Jason excited her in a
new way.

In the calmness after the men left, Savanna told Aubrey,
“This is your new home.”

Home. They’d had a home in Texas, but it’d been quiet. At least,
there hadn’t been any friends or family talking and laughing with them, and
Savanna desperately wanted those connections.

So far, her only possessions in the townhouse were in the
suitcase by the door. Holding her daughter, she walked around another time,
telling her, “Think of all the fun we’ll have here, playing with your toys and
cooking together.”

The walls were the normal apartment-tan, but she could spice
it up with paintings and pictures. What would rent normally cost? They’d agreed
to four hundred a month, when she could pay, which couldn’t be anywhere near
what he regularly charged. She figured he could get at least six hundred a
month, eight tops.

She could only hope this wouldn’t be a financial strain on him.
No, she chided herself, he probably wouldn’t miss a few hundred less a month.
It sure helped her out, though. Savanna remembered the look in his eyes when
she had agreed to move in.

The heat she saw in his eyes took hold of her, giving her a
driving need to be near him. She noticed she was touching her lips, thinking
about him. He’d been happy to hear that she wanted to move in this weekend. Now
she had a real opportunity to keep an eye on him and make sure he was all
right.

She squeezed Aubrey and kissed her cheek. Aubrey grinned with
her little-girl smile, looking carefree and happy at the moment. As much as
Savanna worried, Aubrey seemed to accept all this as normal. Of course, that
also bothered her, but things were looking up more and more, at least where
Aubrey was concerned.

The truck rumbled outside sooner than Savanna had expected.
The men returned with the larger items that had been closest to the storage
unit’s door. She opened the door for them when she heard the truck back up.

“Coming through!” Jason stepped in first as they brought in
the couch. She still held the door, with Aubrey on her hip. Even then, she stole
a look at his strong arms. Maybe a look to his face would cover the fact that
she’d just checked him out.

Did she imagine the heated look in his eyes? She felt out of
practice on this whole flirting thing, especially since she couldn’t even tell
if they’d actually flirted. Maybe she was on overdrive with her hormones,
considering she’d been single for over a year now.

The men brought the furniture in and arranged it, while
Savanna stood back and watched them work. Well, she mainly watched Jason work.

“We’ll just be a few minutes.” He touched her arm as they
headed out the door and back for the rest of her things, leaving a tingling
spot where he’d touched her. Even with that touch, his eyes were solemn. She’d
watched him struggle under such heavy sadness since she’d returned to Oregon.
That could be the reason he didn’t join in with his friends when they joked.
Mark and Larry were both keeping up a constant and cheerful conversation while
they tried to keep Jason busy.

It was time for Aubrey’s snack and then her nap, so Savanna
tried to keep her mind on her daughter for a few minutes. That meant finding
the diaper bag and snacks, and then setting up the playpen. Soon she tucked her
into the playpen and let Aubrey go to sleep.

She wanted to do something to cheer up Jason. While the men
were gone, she ordered two large pizzas with the works, plus a couple of two
liters. She didn’t have much of the green stuff in the bank, but she wouldn’t
be paying full rent, either. The pizzas and the men arrived at the same time,
so they made record time to finish. They raced in and out, taking boxes to the
appropriate rooms.

“All those efficiency drills paid off.” Mark had just
dropped off his last box and now eagerly came to the kitchen.

“Bet I can beat you.” Larry told Mark as they both grabbed a
piece. Larry looked to be in his thirties, which made his dare even funnier.
Mark had to be in his forties. Savanna laughed and saw Jason roll his eyes.

“Come on, Jas! One, two, three, go!”

Jason restrained himself, throwing a warm look her way that
made her catch her breath. His eyes could be so wild and fiery, yet warm and
caring at the same time.

Larry gulped his last bite of pizza, slapped his hands on
the table, and shot them up in the air, “Done!”

Savanna just about spit pizza everywhere. Jason held a
half-eaten piece in his hand and actually smiled. As impossible as it seemed,
she had never really seen his wide, easy smile before. Talk about a
heartbreaker.

He handed her a cup of Coke as she started to choke. For a
second, they both had their hands on the cup, their gazes on each other. Having
his attention, like this, felt so wonderful and selfish at the same time.

Soon everyone was done eating, and Jason’s friends looked
ready to get going. They left together in the truck, and she hoped Jason would
stay, even though she wasn’t sure how to invite him.