License to Love (68 page)

He noticed she also wore a new shirt or at least one that he
hadn’t seen yet. It was a soft orange color.

“I found a job,” she said. “Just a few miles from here.”

“That’s great.” He hoped she didn’t think she needed to give
him money for the townhouse yet. “What do you do again? I’m sorry if I haven’t
asked that yet.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. My job’s at that art store on 18
^th
Avenue. I’m doing all kinds of things, but I get to teach a few classes too.”
She lowered her face and looked at him through her lashes. Maybe she didn’t
want him to notice as she ran her gaze up his legs, but he did notice. And he
liked it.

“I see you got a car.”

“I figured it was time.” She paused, looking down. He wondered
if this awkward conversation hurt her. “How’s your work going?”

“Going, I guess I’d say.”

His mind flashed back to their kiss again, and he knew he
couldn’t talk to her while thinking about it. “I should let you go. Have a nice
night.” Jason wanted to add her name and couldn’t even do that.

“Goodnight.” She knelt in front of Aubrey to pull her out of
the stroller. He went inside his own place, thinking he should have invited her
in or asked her to have dinner with him. He longed to explain but wasn’t sure
how. He just wanted to see her doing well. She didn’t need to worry about
paying rent. Heck, she probably didn’t know what to think since he offered to
help her like this . . . and then kissed her like that.

He couldn’t take the guilt, but when he finally decided to
do something about it, it was almost midnight. An idea came, and he jumped in
his jeep and went to a nearby 24-hour Safeway. Picking out a card wasn’t as
easy as he thought. Nothing said what he wanted, so he grabbed a blank one with
a rainbow on the front. He wrote in it while he sat in his jeep, and then headed
back home to leave the card where she’d see it.

He fell into bed and waited, longing for sleep. It didn’t
come that easily. Instead, his mind replayed days with Mike, a few memories
with Cassie, and pictures of Savanna. That kiss. Her eyes.

If he never touched her again, it would always haunt him how
his hands fit so perfectly in the dip above her waist.

After a night of thrashing around in bed trying to sleep, he
left the next morning without anywhere to go. He was off three days in a row
with nothing to do. His fire chief thought he needed time to mourn, but no one
seemed to get that free time didn’t help.

He missed Mike, missed Cassie, and wished he could drop by
their house and find them together. Was he losing it? He kept forgetting Mike
was dead.

Somehow he made it to a curvy road outside of town, a place
he’d been several times before on an accident call. People took the curves too
fast all the time. Never learned.

Jason didn’t see the road in front of him. Wasn’t sure what
he saw, but the world faded away, and it was the best feeling he’d had in a
while. He swung the jeep along the road in a thoughtless state while heat
pumped through him.

He felt the right side of the jeep tilt up sharply but
wasn’t sure why. Even when he heard metal rip metal, he didn’t react with fear.
A shuddering jolt halted the jeep for a second before a whining creak sounded. The
jeep wobbled, fell to the left, and then turned upside down.

Seven

“Savanna, why the long face today?” Her mom handed her a
glass of iced tea. “Do you still like the job?”

“Yes, it’s going well,” she said with the half-smile she’d
plastered on her face lately. This moment felt like a faded watercolor, and it
could be ten years ago, right now, or sometime in the future. Lilies bloomed in
pots in the corners, and their sweet scent was almost overwhelming, but in a
good way. Peonies bloomed in big, pregnant flowers of white and burgundy along
the porch. 

“Savanna, did you really come over here to sit and look at
my yard?”

Savanna shrugged at first but knew she couldn’t fool her
mother. Margaret had always been graceful, both in form and personality. She
could patiently listen and help anyone through a problem. And there were
several problems to pick from. There’d been the card in her car this morning.
Jason had written in long, slanted cursive,
Dear Savanna, please don’t take
my behavior personally. I wish I could talk to you. Sorry, Jason.

She had no idea what to make it of it, but that wasn’t her
biggest problem right now anyway.

Margaret spoke first. “I want to see you happy, Savanna. My
heart’s just broken that you went through such a hard time over in Texas.”

“Mom . . .” More and more she saw how foolish she’d been, but
her mother hadn’t pointed that out to her. “Thanks for not getting mad that I
didn’t say anything.”

Margaret
tsked
. “You should have, but what’s done is
done.”

“Mom.” At her tone, Margaret waited. “Eric had me served
with papers . . . for custody of Aubrey.”

They continued staring out into the yard. The only change
was a dazed silence that lasted for several shocked minutes.

“That’s ridiculous,” Margaret said. “Anyone can file
paperwork for something like that, but filing won’t get him anywhere. You know
that, right?”

Did she? She looked at her mom, glad to hear the
reassurance, but she wasn’t sure if she could believe it or not. So far she
couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Why did he do this now? He could have seen
Aubrey when they were in Texas.

“Okay, you’re worried, but you don’t need to be. He hasn’t
once tried to see his little girl. There’s no way he can get custody. He could
ask for visitation, but that’s all. So maybe it could be a good thing. Maybe
he’ll want to be involved in her life.”

Savanna dropped her gaze and nodded.

“Did you bring the papers?” Margaret asked.

“Oh, no . . . I put them away.”

Her mom grabbed her. “Listen, sweetie, you can’t stuff them
away somewhere and hope it goes away. We’ll face it together, okay? Now what
did they say?”

“Uh, there were the official papers. And one about
mediation.”

“Okay, that’s good. You get to meet with a mediator who
listens to both sides. I’ve heard that people have to try mediation first
before going to court.”

Would that help her? She shivered, thinking about sitting in
the same room as Eric. Despite that, her mom had to be right that it was better
than going straight to court.

She headed home later, in the cool evening, feeling both
relieved about sharing but also more scared about the situation. Her mom
assured her they could fight this, that Eric had no chance of taking Aubrey, but
how could Savanna know that for sure? Wouldn’t people think a doctor would make
a better parent than she would? She pulled the car up to the townhouse, breathing
hard to hold in her emotions from the evening.

Aubrey wiggled in her car seat and called, “Out, Mama! Bobby
Boo out now. Please.”

“Oh, good job on saying please. That sure is sweet of you.” Savanna
turned off the engine and stood up, ready to get her daughter, but she suddenly
felt very light-headed. Her vision narrowed with black pushing in from the
edges, so she had to rest her head on the top of the car. “Just a minute . . .
Aubrey . . .”

A hand touched her shoulder. Savanna jerked, stood up straight,
and turned to find a man talking to her, looking pretty worried. A minute later
she could hear his voice.

“Savanna, are you okay?” The man was huge. Big neck, big
muscles, but he had a chubby face, like a little boy, under almost white-blond
hair.

“I’m Trevor Holiday, Jason’s friend. Are you okay?”

“Aubrey!” Her baby’s cries rushed into her ears. As she
pulled Aubrey from her car seat, she looked over and saw a light blue Toyota
pickup.

Jason sat inside it, and something didn’t look right about
the whole thing. His eyes were closed. She heard Aubrey whisper his name,
Gase.

Remembering the question, she said, “I’m fine, I’m just
having one of those days.”

“I know how that goes . . . but Jason might need your help.”

In the pickup, Jason’s eyes came open, as if in protest. Even
in the falling darkness, she could see he had a black eye. Something
was
wrong.

“Did Jason get in a fight?”

“No, a car accident.”

“Oh, my word!” She hurried to the pickup. “Jason, are you
all right? Why didn’t you call me? I left my new phone number on your door; did
you see it?”

“Slow down, sweetheart. I’m just busted up a little. The
doctor sent me home to rest.”

Trevor unlocked Jason’s front door and went back to the
pickup to get him.

“I can handle it.” Jason waved him away. When Trevor handed
Jason a pair of crutches, Savanna gasped. He eased himself out of the pickup
and steadied himself on the crutches. A cast covered the lower part of his left
leg.

Instinct told her to run to Jason to help him, but
experience told her he wouldn’t want it. Feeling helpless but needed, she pulled
Aubrey onto her hip and followed them into Jason’s townhouse, dark because the
curtains were drawn. She flipped on a large lamp by the door, and it revealed
couches around a large, wooden coffee table.

This townhouse had an identical layout to hers, but it had a
completely different feel and smelled faintly of beer. A TV was positioned in a
back corner with a recliner close to it. Empty beer bottles sat in two rows
beside the chair.

Jason slid down onto the long couch to their right, laid
down his crutches, and inched his way back to a lying position. Trevor eyed
Savanna before he asked Jason, “You need anything, buddy?”

“Just peace, quiet, and rest.”

“I’ll leave you be then. I’m sure Mindy will cook you up
something. I’ll be by tomorrow to see you.” Trevor looked rattled. She couldn’t
blame him. Once again, she’d blinked and her life went flying over a cliff.

He looked
really
rattled as he rushed out the door.
Maybe this had scared him, like when Mike died.

She faced Jason, even though she didn’t have a clue about
what to say. When he reached out to her, she let Aubrey down onto the floor and
knelt beside him, taking his hand.

“I’m sorry, Savanna.”

The question “why?
”
didn’t make it out. When his eyes
closed again, Savanna couldn’t tell if he’d fallen asleep or passed out from
medication. She took Aubrey back to her own place and started dinner: breaded
chicken breasts in the oven and potatoes on the stove. Something simple and
easy that turned out good and left her free to wipe the tears that rolled down
her face.

Jason woke up feeling like he’d slept upside down. Pulsing
head, bloated face, even his teeth hurt. Maybe he had a fever. A cool hand
touched his forehead, and without thinking, he reached for it.

“Jason?”

“Savanna?” Could she really be here? So he was dead.

“Morning,” she said. It wasn’t a “good morning,” was it?

He remembered her teary eyes yesterday when she saw him,
full of concern. Love even. That meant he must have killed himself. No way had
Savanna cried for him like that, with something like love in her eyes.

“Jason, do you feel okay?”

“Now that I know you’re here.” After a couple tries, he got
his eyes open. She’d kept the room dim for him, bless her heart. He had no idea
how long she’d been here with him, and that put him out of sorts, if it were
possible to be any more confused. This turn of events didn’t add up. He’d about
driven himself into an early grave, and now he’d awakened to find Savanna. With
that thought, he looked back to her and found her watching him.

He lost his head every time he got within ten feet of her,
and now he was lying here helpless. Flustered, he said, “I feel like a
marshmallow over a campfire.”

Concern crossed her face. “Too hot?”

“Puffed up.”

She sagged back. “That can happen when you plow your face
into something.” Her hand gently touched around his face and then went to touch
his hair.

“I don’t think that’s broken,” he teased. Her hand yanked
back. Jason laughed but cut it short because everything hurt. “I was so
stupid.”

“Why’s that?”

“Wait, shouldn’t you be at work?”

“No, I’m covered for today, and then I have the weekend
off,” she said.

It was Friday already? He’d lost a day or two. Then again,
time hadn’t moved in its usual linear mode since Mike died.

“Savanna, you shouldn’t have done that for me. I did this to
myself, you know.” Man, she looked good. If he could move, he’d pull her down
and kiss her. Maybe he could show her how he felt since he hadn’t been able to
tell her.

“I came to Eugene, and you gave me a place to stay. Before
that, you saved my life. Now I get to help you, and you’d better not argue
about it.” She held his gaze, appearing steadier than he’d seen her before.

“Okay.” Anything to keep her there. “Aubrey? Bobby Boo,
isn’t that what she calls herself?”

“Yes, my funny and sweet little Bobby Boo,” she said and
laughed. “She’s at my mom’s.”

Savanna’s mother couldn’t think much of him right now.
Strange that he’d worry about that. It wasn’t like he’d met her mother. Or that
this meant anything between them. Not wanting the moment to end, he stared up
into her face for as long as he could. Then, “I’m going to wobble to the
bathroom. Will you still be here when I come back?”

“Of course,” she said, jumping up and then helping him. He
didn’t mind her help–it meant he got to touch her and feel her soft skin.

She’d taken time off work for him. She was here.

In the bathroom, he rubbed a cold washcloth over his bruised
face, shoulders, and chest where he could reach with his sore arms. The wreck had
bruised him up pretty badly and left his neck sore, but only his left leg was
broken. His doctor said the break was clean and would heal faster that way.