Impossible (8 page)

There was a tap on my door, and I sat up on my bed. “Come in.”

The door opened a little bit and Blaze’s head came into view. “Ashy, Mommy says dinner is soon.”

“Okay, kiddo, tell Mom I’ll be a few minutes.”

Blaze hesitated in the doorway, his angelic features forlorn. “Are you and Mommy angry?”

“What? Why would you say that, sweetie?” I got up and walked over to where my little brother was standing.

“You and Mommy were yelling before,” he said, his bottom lip quivering.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I said kneeling down and smiling at him gently. “Mom and me were just talking about something important. We still love each other and we definitely love you, sweetie. There’s nothing to worry about, okay?”

Blaze nodded and I kissed him on the cheek. “Tell Mom I’ll be down soon. I love you, baby bear.”

“Love you,” Blaze cooed, and then left me alone. I heard his footsteps patter down the stairs and finally fade.

Sighing, I stood up and walked back over to my bed. Getting Blaze involved in this hadn’t been my intention. I knew firsthand what it was like to be a child and have to listen to your family fighting. You felt so helpless and alone, like you were the smallest creature in the world. I didn’t want that for Blaze.

Mom and Bryan had fought on a regular basis when they’d been married. When the screaming matches began, I’d crawl under my bed and cover my ears. Sometimes I’d hear things being thrown around and the next morning when I went downstairs, I’d find a broken vase or a dent in the wall.

I’d hated living in that hell, and when Bryan finally left, Mom had promised me that we would never go through that again. That’s why Mom never yelled at me. Not until today. Not until I’d pushed her to breaking point. I never wanted Blaze to be in a situation where he felt helpless. The least I could do was not put him through something that I’d experienced myself. Something that would stay with me forever and left a bitter taste in my mouth when I thought about it.

My room was suddenly bathed with light and, surprised, I looked around for the source of it. My search led me to my bedroom window and beyond it. What the heck? The light in Luca’s old room was on.

I watched in amazement as Luca strode into the room with a huge box and put it down on the floor. A box? What was he doing with a box? Hopefully, he was just dumping things that he didn’t need, and not moving back in there. I mean, he couldn’t be, could he?

As if sensing me watching him, he looked over at my window. I quickly ducked down, hoping he hadn’t seen me. A whole minute passed before I dared to peek out my window again.

My heart beat sped up when I saw that Luca was standing in the exact same spot staring right at me. Damn it! He’d seen me. Now I felt like a complete stalker.

With as much dignity as I could muster, I stood up and flipped my hair over my shoulder. Luca Byron wasn’t going to intimidate me. I looked right back at him and saw that he’d disappeared and that the light was off.

Good. He’d gotten the hint.

As I was about to turn away, two flashes of light caught my attention. Glancing at his window, I saw that he was back again. The flashes had come from a torch, and he had a piece of paper pressed against the window. He turned on the torch and it illuminated the paper.

HEY NEIGHBOR.

Shooting him a haughty look, I stormed out of my room. If he thought that we were going to be buddy-buddy again, he had another thing coming.

It didn’t matter if he was moving right across from my bedroom window or that my heart did little leaps whenever I thought about that stupid kiss. I didn’t care that memories of our childhood had come flooding back when he’d pressed that note against the window.

I hadn’t had anything to do with Luca for the last seven years and I intended to keep things that way.

***

The next morning I stood on the side of the curb waiting for Kance to pick me up. After ten minutes it finally hit me that Kance would not be picking me up today. She wouldn’t be picking me up ever.

I’d tried calling her last night, but she hadn’t answered her cell or responded to my messages. It had been worth a try to see if we could work things out, even though I was raging mad at her. Obviously, she didn’t care to know me and that was fine. If that’s how she wanted to play it, I could play too.

Glancing at my watch, I realized there was only ten minutes before school started. Mom—whose attitude had, understandingly, been cold towards me this morning—had taken Blaze with her to get groceries. Asking her wasn’t an option and I’d already missed the school bus. It was going to take more than ten minutes to get to school if I walked. I was already in so much trouble and I didn’t need to get into any more.

An engine started up and I glanced around to see Luca backing his station wagon out of the driveway. Great, just what I needed first thing in the morning. I pointedly looked the other way, hoping Luca wouldn’t see me.

Please don’t notice me. Please don’t notice me.

“Hey, Princess!” Luca called out.

Great. My telepathic powers of persuasion needed more work.

I turned back towards the car to discover that he’d rolled down the passenger side window and was watching me with amusement, like his birthday had come early.

I pursed my lips. “What do you want?”

Luca leaned over and popped open the passenger side door. “Looks like you need a ride.”

It was pretty obvious that I did, but there was no way I’d be caught dead in Luca’s car. I’d rather wear last season’s shoes than get in that car. If I was going to rebuild my reputation then I had to stick to my standards, which meant staying as far away from Luca as I could get.

“You’re joking, right? Like I would ever accept a ride from you.” My tone was haughty, but I didn’t care. He needed to take the hint and stay away from me.

“Aw, come on, I don’t bite,” Luca said. “If you really don’t wanna be seen with me then I can drop you off around the corner from school. How’s that sound?”

Biting my lip, I weighed up my options. One on hand, I could be late and get into more trouble with Mom, or I could just suck it up and take up his offer. I eyed the car, apprehension building up within me. I had to take a few deep breaths to ease the anxiety, before making my decision.

With a sigh, I climbed into the car and shut the door. Luca reached over and his arm brushed against mine. For a moment, I stopped breathing. He was so close and he smelled so good, not at all how I’d expected him to. There was a clean, crisp scent about him, and I inhaled deeply, enjoying his proximity to me. He definitely didn’t smell like a rat-infested sewer.

Luca’s bright green eyes landed on mine and I noticed that they weren’t circled with black eyeliner today. He buckled in my seat belt and settled back into his seat, looking pleased with himself. My breathing returned to normal and I wanted to kick myself for being so affected by him. I really had to get myself under control.

Luca repulsed me—I was not attracted to him in the slightest.

There was one question that was bugging me, a question I’d lain awake in bed thinking about all night. “Are you moving back into your old room?” I dreaded the answer.

Luca glanced at me and gave me a smile that probably made Stacey Parker weak at the knees. It wouldn’t work on me though. “You noticed that, huh? Were you spying on me, Ashy? Did you stay up all night thinking about me?”

I set my mouth in a firm line, not intending to give away how right he was.

It wasn’t lost on me that he’d called me by the nickname he’d coined for me when we were kids. My Mom and brother called me that all the time, but it was different coming from Luca. When he said it, it meant a lot more.

“I wasn’t spying on you. I have better things to do than watch you.” When he didn’t retort back with a smart ass comment, I continued. “So, why are you moving into your old room?”

“You’re really obsessed with me, aren’t you?”

“I’m not obsessed with you; I asked you a simple question. If you don’t want to answer it then I really couldn’t care less.” I felt outraged that he would think that.

“Of course you care.” His smug tone only made me angrier. He gave me that stupid smile again, and I fought the temptation to punch him in the face. “The view’s better.”

His simple answer made me feel all fluttery inside, which was stupid because I couldn’t stand to be near him. “Not for me,” I grumbled.

“Ouch, that hurts.” Laughing, he rested his arm on the window sill. “So, where’s Kance? She picks you up every morning, doesn’t she?”

“Oh, um, she had a few things to do.” My face flushed from the lie and I could tell that Luca had noticed. He knew me too well and he knew when I wasn’t being honest.

“Then why were you standing out front for ten minutes waiting for her?” He spoke in such a casual tone that I felt like a complete moron for lying. Of course he knew something was up. Any person with a brain could tell something was wrong.

I sighed and looked out the window at the expensive houses that passed by. The closer we got to school, the better the houses were. If you went past Statlen, and the school, you would enter Jackson Heights where all the wealthy families lived. “I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Alright, Princess, whatever you say.” A few moments went by before Luca spoke again. “How come you don’t drive?”

“Huh?” I turned to look at him, surprised by his question.

“I’ve never seen you drive before,” Luca repeated, looking at me out of the corner of his eye. “I just wondered why you never got your license.”

Pain shot through me and I felt like I was being suffocated. This was something that I didn’t want to hear or talk about. My breathing became uneven as tears pricked my eyes. Why did Luca have to ask me this out of all the things he could ask?? Why did he have to be the one to ask?

It was becoming harder to breathe and I let out a choking sound that caught Luca’s attention. “Whoa, Ash, what the hell’s going on?” The car swerved as Luca pulled over and quickly unbuckled my seat belt. “Ash, calm down! You’re giving yourself a panic attack!”

I tried to do as he said, but I couldn’t manage it. In my head, brakes squealed and tires skidded. Images of blood and a lifeless body flashed through my mind. Hot tears rolled down my face, and I couldn’t stop them—I didn’t know how. This hadn’t happened to me in years. Today it had happened because of Luca—because he’d been the one to ask.

I felt only blackness, like my body was shutting down. My head was getting dizzy as I tried to take deep gulps of air. But it wasn’t working; I couldn’t slow down the feeling. My chest was tight and constricted in pain. I was losing myself.

Firm hands grabbed me by the shoulders. “Breathe, Ashy, just breathe.”

I found his green eyes and, using them as an anchor to hold on, felt my breathing slowing down. There was something about him that made me relax. He had brought this about and only he could stop it.

I focused on every breath—In. Out. In. Out—until, finally, I felt calmer.

Luca exhaled, relief passing over his face, as he slumped back in his seat. “Ash, what the hell is going on with you? What did I say to make you react like that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Just take me to school,” I said, wiping away my tears.

“Ash.” The concern in his voice was killing me. I wanted to be far away from him, to forget this ever happened. “Talk to me.”

“I have nothing to say to you! Take me to school now!”

Luca swore and sped the rest of the way to school. I was too overwhelmed to tell him to slow down. I just wanted to get to school and lose myself in the crowd. For once, I just wanted to disappear.

When we were around the corner from school, Luca slammed on the brakes. He turned to look at me, and I could tell he wanted to say something. Despite the animosity we held towards each other, I could tell he still cared about me. That’s what hurt me the most—that he really cared.

Before he could say anything, I wrenched open the door and jumped out. “This never happened.”

Luca

All day I’d been thinking about Ashton. She was driving me insane. First, she’d acted like a total snob. The next, we’d be sharing a moment where I didn’t want to bite her head off. And now, after her panic attack in the car, I could not figure her out. I’d been racking my brain all day trying to make sense of what I’d said to make her react that way. I’d asked her a simple question and she’d nearly had an emotional breakdown. What the hell was going on with her?

Then there was the photo of my dad she’d had in her pocket. The only reason she’d take that photo was because she missed the old days. Missed my dad and, maybe, missed me. Despite, the tough exterior she tried to put on, it was becoming obvious she was broken inside. There was a vulnerable side to her, and if I pushed enough, maybe it would come out.

“Hey, man,” Riley said, joining me at our usual spot on the wall. “What’s going on?”

I shrugged as I downed my can of soda. “Nothing much. We jamming at mine today?”

“I’m up for it. Just gotta see if Eddie can make it.”