Impossible (6 page)

“No, nothing like that,” I cut her off, trying to ignore the rush I felt from being associated with Ashton and sex. “She just does my head in.”

“That’s a relief, but it still doesn’t explain why you’re not wearing a shirt.”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “She threw coffee on Elly, so I gave Elly my shirt.”

Stace’s expression darkened. “You’re joking! She can’t be that horrible, can she?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either.”

“Oh, I can believe it. Ashton’s an insufferable little brat. She goes around acting like she owns the world in her little cheerleading skirt.”

Damn. Ash in her tiny skirt was something I couldn’t ignore. She showed off those long legs of hers knowing very well the effect she had on the male population of the school. Even I wasn’t impervious to it.

“She needs a good kick to the head,” Stace was saying. “I can’t stand her.”

Maybe I was holding onto an image of the little girl I used to know and not wanting to see the reality of who she’d grown into. I was holding out for her, hoping she’d change and prove everyone wrong. That’s why I was so angry. Because I wanted her to be someone she clearly wasn’t.

God, I was such a dumb prick. There was no hope for that girl.

“Yeah, I know,” I said, my insides clenching. “I can’t stand her either.”

As much as I wanted to believe my own words and forget about Ash, deep down a part of me was lying. She was insufferable and a brat, but it was impossible to forget that kiss. Why had I kissed her in the first place? I was trying to tell myself that it was to show her up and make her feel bad about herself, but then why had some pathetic part of me enjoyed it?

I shouldn’t enjoy kissing Ashton Summers. I shouldn’t enjoy the way her body felt against mine. I shouldn’t lie awake in bed at night thinking about doing more to her. If I knew I shouldn’t have these feelings, then why wouldn’t they stop? What would it take for me to forget about her?

The only thing left for me to do was to focus on her bad side. I had to remind myself of the way she treated people until it was imprinted on my brain. I had to forget about that little girl who’d been my friend. I had to forget that she’d once cared about people, cared about me. This was the only way to stop thinking about her.

I had to hate Ashton Summers.

Ashton

“Hey, sexy,” a low voice said from behind me.

Tingles ran through my stomach as I shut my locker and spun around. Oliver stood behind me, a smile playing around his mouth. He must’ve had gym last period, because he was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt and there was a sheen of sweat along his hairline. Somehow, that raised the hotness factor by ten. He looked good enough to eat.

“Hey, yourself,” I said, flashing him a broad grin.

Oliver leaned against the set of lockers beside mine as he studied me in my cheerleading outfit. My cheeks flushed at the attention from him. Yeah, I knew I looked good, but there was no feeling in the world getting special attention from the guy you had a crush on. The guy who was about to become my boyfriend.

“You off to cheerleading practice?” Oliver asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, my first practice as captain. And hopefully Elly can take a hint and doesn’t show up.”

“Doesn’t she need to hand it in writing to your coach?”

“It’s just a formality,” I said taking a step closer. “Everyone knows what the captain says goes.”

Oliver raised an eyebrow and reached out to tease the neckline of my top with a finger. “Is that so?”

“Do you doubt me?” My tone was playful as I tilted my head to the side, my eyes locked on his.

Oliver casually placed a hand on my hip and brought his lips towards mine. “I know you won’t need it, but good luck.” He pressed his lips against my cheek before pulling away.

Disappointment hit me like a ton of bricks at the innocent kiss. I had wanted so much more. I’d wanted him to make it a little more obvious that he was into me. Apart from the looks and the flirting, he’d never tried to make a move on me. This had been the perfect moment and he hadn’t taken it.

I brushed away my disappointment and managed a smile. “I better get going. I’m already running late.” I hoped he noticed the reluctance in my voice, so he didn’t think I was trying to get rid of him. Getting rid of him was the last thing I wanted to do.

“See ya, captain.” Oliver said with a wink, before turning and walking down the hall towards the exit.

When he disappeared, I heaved a sigh and headed in the opposite direction towards the gym. I was suddenly very nervous about facing the girls (and guys) for the first time as their captain. The former captain, Erica, had been really popular amongst the squad. She’d been efficient, brought new ideas to the table, and had seemed to get along with everyone. Some of our best cheers had come from her.

Over the summer, the squad had been through a lot of routines with Erica at the lead. She’d helped me prepare for the pep rally and made sure the team knew what to do. But Erica wasn’t here to guide me anymore. I had huge shoes to fill, but at the moment, my stomach was full of nerves—jumping, leaping, sinking—that were making me feel sick.

There was so much resting on today’s practice: my entire reputation, the pep rally tomorrow, and my future as Mrs. Oliver Carson. Okay, maybe not the Mrs. Carson part, but still. It could happen one day.

There was a strange hush when I entered the gym. No excited voices greeted me, which was weird considering the whole team was there, including the two yellers and Coach Morgan. My eyes narrowed when I caught sight of someone else. Elly.

Obviously, the girl couldn’t take a hint. She was still wearing Luca’s shirt which, for some reason, bothered me.

My eyes narrowed as I walked over to the group and caught Kance’s eye. I shot her a smile which she didn’t return. What was up with her? Shrugging it off, I turned my attention onto Coach Morgan, ignoring Elly, who was standing beside her. I tried to appear excited, despite the sinking feeling in my stomach.

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

“Are we ready to start, coach?” I asked brightly.

Coach fixed me with a severe look. “Not quite. I’d like to speak to you first.” She motioned for Kance to join her.

I drew closer to Kance and lowered my voice. “What’s going on? Are you mad at me or something?”

“How could I possibly be mad at you, Ashton? You’re too perfect.” Her words, unexpected, sent a shock through my body.

My heart was pounding so loud that there was no way no one could hear it. Everyone’s eyes were on me and, for once, I wished the attention was on someone else. There was something seriously wrong. There had to be. Coach never looked at me that way—like she was disappointed in me—and Kance never treated me the way she had moments ago.

“Ashton, I take reports of bullying very seriously,” Coach began.

“Okay, Coach?” I said, careful not make eye contact with Elly, and Luca’s shirt. I didn’t really get what this had to do with me.

“It had come to my attention that an incident occurred this morning which involved you.”

I darted a glance at Kance, but she was pointedly looking at Coach with a sneer on her face. My stomach sank. “Um, I’m not sure what incident you’re referring to.”

Coach crossed her arms impatiently. “Elly is saying that you spilt coffee on her, taunted her about her weight and told her she couldn’t be on the team.”

“That’s a ridiculous accusation!” Deep down I knew it wasn’t ridiculous and that I was a horrible person for doing that to Elly. But I couldn’t just have any old person joining my team. I couldn’t have her competing for Oliver’s affections, and I definitely couldn’t have her talking to Luca.

Coach frowned at me. “Kance is backing Elly on this one. She’s the one who brought this incident of bullying to our attention. She felt horrible about the way you’d treated Elly and wanted me to know. I don’t see why your friend would lie about something this serious.”

I didn’t need to turn around to picture the smug expression on Kance’s face. I could practically feel the aura of smugness radiating off her. She had set me up. She had put the idea in my head to make me dislike Elly. She’d wanted me to do something to Elly so she could get me into trouble. What I couldn’t understand was why she would do this to me.

“Do you deny it, Ashton?” Coach Morgan demanded when I didn’t respond.

“No, it happened,” I said in a small voice. “I made fun of her weight gain and told her I didn’t want her on the squad.”

Coach’s face fell and she took a deep breath. “What you did to Elly doesn’t show team spirit, Ashton. We’re supposed to support each other like a family; otherwise the cracks are going to tear our squad apart. It’s so disappointing saying this, because I thought you would’ve made a wonderful captain, but I can’t have this kind of behavior in the squad. I can’t let you be the captain.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “No, please, you have no idea how much I want this, how hard I trained for it. Punish me in any other way, but don’t take this away from me.”

Coach set her mouth in a firm line. “Ashton, I’m sorry, but your behavior is inexcusable. You cannot sabotage and bully someone from your own squad and we can’t have you leading it. I’ll call your parents to let them know what happened so the school can take disciplinary action against you.”

Tears sprung to my eyes and it took all of my willpower not to cry in front of everyone. There was one burning question that I had. “Who’s going to be captain now? The pep rally’s tomorrow and I’m the only one who knows the new routine inside and out.”

“Not exactly,” Coach said rubbing her temple. “Kance knows the routine very well. She’s an excellent cheerleader, and her compassion for Elly today really shone. Besides, your other punishment will be detention which runs during the pep rally tomorrow.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I tried to remain calm, but inside my heart was beating too fast. Kance was an amazing cheerleader, and probably my biggest competition, but she’d never shown any interest in becoming captain. Unless that was something she’d always wanted and I’d gotten in her way.

Suddenly, it all made sense to me. I’d beaten her to the position, and this was her way of getting back at me.

Kance looked self-assured as she began pulling her hair back in a high ponytail. “Why? Is that a problem for you?”

Her tone surprised me and my face warmed up as I noticed the other girls watching us curiously. “No, it’s not a problem. I just figured you would’ve told me if you ever wanted to be captain. That’s what friends do, right?” I frowned at the shakiness in my voice. I hated to admit it, but Kance intimidated me sometimes. This was one of those times.

“Yes, we are
friends
, aren’t we?” she said with a sneer.

The contempt in her voice was clear. She didn’t care that I was her friend. This was something she wanted, and she had wanted it enough to betray me.

“Come on, let’s go and contact your parents, Ashton.” I didn’t bother to correct her that I only had a parent. It didn’t seem important at the moment.

Placing a hand on my shoulder, Coach led me out of the gym, and far away from my hopes and dreams. My eyes stung as the tears squeezed their way out.

Somewhere behind me I knew Kance was gloating at her victory, but I didn’t forget easily. If she thought I would take this lying down, she had another thing coming.

***

Mom pulled into the driveway and we sat in some more awkward silence. The ride home had been painful. Usually Mom was talkative and cheerful, but today she had nothing to say to me. I knew she was disappointed in me, but there was nothing I could do to change what had happened. I couldn’t take back what I’d done to Elly, no matter how hard I wished it.

Mom got out of the car first and opened up the back door so she could unbuckle Blaze from his booster seat. I got out of the car and stood awkwardly on the front lawn, watching as she picked up Blaze and headed to the front door.

Blaze frowned at me from over Mom’s shoulder. “Ashy, why you sad?”

“I’m not, baby bear. I’m just tired.” I tried to sound convincing, but I think I failed.

I was about to follow Mom onto the porch, but she stopped me. “No, you wait here. I’m going to put Blaze inside and then I’ll be back. We need to talk.”

She opened up the door and went in, leaving me outside like a naughty dog. I heaved a sigh and went over to the car to rest against it. I was in huge trouble if she didn’t want to say anything in front of Blaze. I’d never seen Mom like this before. I’d always been her golden child, but now I felt like a phony. Mom probably saw me as a horrible person, and that wasn’t something I wanted.

Luca’s words from earlier were haunting me as well. If his dad was still alive, would he really be ashamed of me? It was pretty obvious Mom was. When she’d come into Coach’s office, she’d looked worried, like she thought something bad had happened to me. I kinda wish it had. It was better than the disappointment I’d seen in her eyes when Coach told her what I’d done. She’d remained quiet throughout the conversation, merely nodding as Coach doled out my punishment. No more being cheerleading captain. Indefinite suspension from the team. And detention for a whole week. Life was so unfair.