Impossible (10 page)

At that moment I knew that he was abandoning me. He’d decided to side with Kance and Oliver instead of with me. Tears threatened to escape my eyes, but I refused to cry. I’d cried way too much in the last 24 hours and I didn’t want to show them my weak side ever again. I had to be strong, regardless of what happened.

Even though I knew his answer, I wanted to hear his justification for being such a jerk. “Why, Ben? Why would you do this?”

Ben sighed, and it looked like his decision was eating him up inside. “You’re one of my closest friends, but this is our senior year. I don’t wanna be on the outside; I wanna be in with those guys.” He nodded towards the table where the jocks were sitting. “We’re a team, we play together, and I can’t let them down. I can’t pick you. I’m sorry.”

Hurt and anger raged inside my chest until I felt like I was about to burst. Everyone I’d ever cared about had left me. Mr. Byron, then Luca, and now Bennett. Maybe I was cursed. Maybe I would lose Mom and Blaze too. I mean, Mom already thought I was a horrible person. There was no coming back from that.

“Don’t. You. Dare. Apologize.” My voice trembled with each word. I didn’t want Bennett’s half-assed apology. I just wanted him to leave me alone.

Concern flooded his eyes and he placed a hand on my arm, probably thinking it would comfort me. In actuality, it had the complete opposite effect—it only made me madder. “Ashton, don’t be like this. We can still be friends.”

His touch, I shoved him as hard as I could. “No, Ben, we can never be friends. Friends don’t betray each other. You and Kance are one and the same.”

Bennett’s eyes hardened. “Fine, if you wanna act all high and mighty, then go for it, but you got what you deserved.” He turned around and stormed back to his friends, leaving me alone in the center of the courtyard.

I took a deep breath and decided to seek salvage in the library so I could be left alone with my burning thoughts. As I headed into the school building, I noticed Luca watching me intently. It was clear he’d heard most of my exchange with Bennett, but his expression was hard to decipher. Most likely, he thought I deserved this.

Stacey, who was practically sitting on his lap, was making her sentiments clear. Her eyes were bright and she had a smile on her face. She looked ready to pop with glee. Clearly, my public humiliation had made her day.

Shooting Luca, and his friends, a glare, I put my head down and quickened my pace.

Luca was the same as the rest of them. He put me down, made fun of me with his creepy friends, and treated me like I was the problem. I didn’t need people like that in my life. I didn’t need anyone. All I needed to worry about was myself.

I would get myself through this.

Luca

When I walked into detention, I had to walk back out just to make sure I was in the right room, even though I’d been here so many times over the years it was like a second home for me. Stunned, I stared at the table in the second row that was closest to the wall.

What was wrong with this picture?

Well, for starters, I was pretty sure Ashton was sitting in detention. Either that or I was hallucinating.

Trying not to look thrown off, I sauntered into the room and took the seat directly behind her. She’d noticed me, of course, and I could tell she was trying real hard not to turn around. She swept her golden hair to the side, just enough for me to catch a glimpse of the back of her neck. I stared at that sliver of skin until Ashton flipped her hair back, as though she’d felt my eyes on her.

I could tell how hyper-aware of me she was. Her hand was gripping the desk and she was leaning forward as if she was about to jump out of her seat. There was this pull between us that I couldn’t explain. We were always aware of one another if one of us entered an area. Even though we wanted to strangle the other most of the time, we were still drawn to each other.

I wanted to talk to her, but I stopped myself. There was no way in hell I was going to come across as desperate. She’d already made it clear that I wasn’t good enough to be seen with her. If she wanted to talk to me, she could do it herself.

Inclining in my chair, I continued staring at the back of her head, waiting for her to make the first move.

I didn’t have to wait long.

Ashton turned around in seat, her blue eyes dark with irritation. “I can feel you boring holes into the back of my head.”

I shrugged and leaned forward so that we were inches apart. “It’s nice to see you taking your infatuation for me to the next level. You couldn’t stay away from me, is that why you’re here?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself. Like I would miss the pep rally for you.”

“Right, that thing’s on now, huh?” I tapped my fingers on the table. “Shame you won’t be in that tiny skirt shaking your pom-poms.”

Ash’s face went red and her mouth formed a tight line. “That’s sick. You’re sick.” Man, she was cute when she was angry.

I held my hands up in defense. “Hey, I’m not the only one thinking it, believe me.”

Ash was about to say something, but Mr. Kowalski walked in blowing his noise loudly. Some other guy slinked in behind him and took a seat in the back row.

Mr. Kowalski looked around the room and blew his nose again. “You kids have some homework to do?”

The three of us nodded half-heartedly.

“Okay, good,” he said. “I’m going to run to the staff room to get some papers I need to grade. I expect you all to be doing some work when I return.” Without waiting for a response, he walked back out, the horn-like sounds from his nose echoing down the hall.

This time I didn’t wait for Ashton to speak first. There were a million questions that I wanted to ask her, but two were on the top of my list.

“What happened to you in my car this morning?”

When Ash turned around, her eyes were dull, like she’d lost all the fight in them. She began running her lithe fingers through the ends of her hair, lost in thought, as if she was trying to find the best way to answer my question. Finally, her eyes snapped back to me.

“Cars make me nervous.”

My eyebrows shot up. That was the last thing I’d expected to hear. “They make you nervous? But you go to school in one every day.”

Ash shrugged. “I’m used to them now, but they still freak me out.”

My next question was a no-brainer. “Why?”

She folded her hands neatly over her lap and stared down at them like they were the most interesting things in the world. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

For a moment, I studied her in absolute awe. It was a rare sight to see Ashton so vulnerable, so transparent, and it was incredible. The way her mouth puckered downwards, and the slackness around her eyes—like she was defeated—made me want to pull her into my arms and hold her. It was a natural instinct, but I kept my distance.

“Okay, I’ll drop it,” I said, moving onto my next burning question. “Why did you take that photo off my fridge? The one of us with my dad.”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I studied her, watching the way her eyes would dart away so they wouldn’t make contact with mine. Yeah, I guess it was obvious. “You miss him?”

Ashton took a deep breath and looked me right in the eye. “I’m not sure what you’re trying to do here, but I’m not interested in confessing my inner most thoughts and feelings to you.” She turned back to face the front, her eyes cold and hard once again, all the vulnerability in them gone.

As hard as she tried to act like an ice queen, like she didn’t care about anyone or anything else, the cracks were starting to show. I wasn’t buying the façade anymore. Somewhere, beneath all the pretentiousness, was my Ashy.

***

Ashton

He was still watching me. I could feel his eyes trained on the back of my head. Why did Luca have to be in here the same time as I was? No matter where I went, I couldn’t escape him. He was back in his old room, he was driving me to school, and, now, he was in detention with me.

What made it even worse was how loud the cheers from the gym were. I had never once missed a pep rally, yet here I was, sitting in detention like a social outcast. I guess I really was a loser. It made sense that no one wanted to know me or be my friend.

Except Luca.

He was the only one who was talking to me. Maybe he got some sick satisfaction from watching me fall. Either way, I didn’t get what his deal was, and that frustrated me. He frustrated me.

But what frustrated me most of all was the way my body reacted when he was nearby. Trust me, I didn’t want it to, but it happened anyway. The tiny hairs on my arms would stand up and a shudder would run through my body the closer he was to me.

Maybe it was a natural reaction you had when someone you didn’t like got too close. If I kept telling myself that enough, maybe I would start to believe it.

“So,” That single word sent a tingle through me. His breath tickled my ear as he spoke, “What are you in here for?”

I half-turned in my seat, unwilling to make eye contact with him. Those chartreuse eyes of his were too penetrating, too invasive. “Don’t you already know? You’re best buddies with the reason.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Elly,” I said, turning the rest of the way around and making certain I was looking past him and not at him. “I’m in here for making fun of her.”

Luca shook his head. “I figured it had something to do with that. How long you in for?”

“A week. What about you?”

“Three days. Tomorrow’s my last one.”

Great. So I’d have to spend the rest of the week in here by myself. I didn’t exactly like Luca, especially when he started asking questions that were difficult to answer, but at least someone familiar was in here with me.

“So, what was up with you and that guy?”

“What guy?”

“That guy you were talking to today. You looked pretty pissed off at him.” Luca bent over to pull a notebook and pen out of his bag, his eyes never leaving me.

The difficult questions had started up again. “Why are you so obsessed with my life?”

“I’m not obsessed,” he said, straightening up and opening the book to a blank page. “I’m just curious.”

I sighed. “That guy happens to be my best friend. Except, I don’t think he is anymore.”

Luca raised an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”

Because he’s a freaking idiot and I want to kick him in the head. “Because he’d rather stay popular.”

“Huh.” Luca said, a crease appearing on his forehead. “What a jackass.”

I couldn’t agree more. Wow. I was actually agreeing with something that Luca had said. Who’d have thought it?

“That’s what you get for being friends with people like that,” he added with a frown. “It’s your own fault in a way.”

And to think I was actually warming to him. “Thanks for your commentary. It’s
invaluable
,” I snapped.

Shooting him a glare, I turned around, adamant that I would ignore him for the duration of detention. My biggest mistake had been letting myself get pulled into a conversation with him. Spending most of the day not speaking to anyone had made me desperate. And a bit senile.

When Luca let out a low chuckle, I ground my teeth and stared hard at the front of the room, resolute in my silence.

Luca

Stace shifted around on my bed and propped herself up on her elbow. Her brown eyes looked almost black in the dim light. “What’s wrong, Luca? You seem…distracted.”

She was right. I was distracted. We’d been making out for the last ten minutes, but I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with her. She already had half her clothes off and I still couldn’t bring myself to do it. Usually it came naturally to me. I was a guy, I had needs, but I didn’t know why Stace wasn’t getting me in the mood.

“Yeah, uh…” I couldn’t even think up a reasonable excuse. I wasn’t even sure what was wrong with me. What was I supposed to say to her?

Stace gave me a look of understanding. “It’s the room, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

She gestured at my room with a hand. “You changed rooms and it’s putting you off. Don’t worry, you’ll get used to. When I stayed up at my Aunt May’s cabin last summer, it was the same with me…”

I proceeded to drown out the sound of her voice as she babbled on. Yeah, I’d moved back into my old room, and that might have something to do with my lack of interest in doing her, but it was much more than that. I was closer to Ash. If I looked out of my window, I could see her bedroom. When her light was on, I could see right into her room, and this afternoon she’d been lying on her bed crying.

Shit. Why was it so freaking hard for me to ignore her? It’s not like I wanted to think about her. The girl was a nutcase, and the way she’d shot me a look of pure hatred at detention today had made her feelings towards me pretty clear. I’d tried to laugh it off, but that look had cut through me—affected me in a way I couldn’t begin to explain. She didn’t like me; she wanted nothing to do with me. Even though she’d been kicked off the cheerleading squad and fallen from her social pedestal, she was still a bitch. Plain and simple. There was no overlooking that.