Immortal Light: Wide Awake (16 page)

“
Here, let me help you
out.”

Lucy looked at him, but then slumped back into
the seat. “No, I think I just need to sit here for a
minute.”

“
You sure?”

“
Yeah.”

“
Okay, no problem.” He reached
into the car and softly cupped her cheek. “I’ll stay close, if you
need me.”

Smiling weakly, she tilted the weight of her
head into his hand, closing her eyes as she tried to figure out
what was real and what wasn’t. She was sure he was bleeding before
she lost consciousness, yet there he was, jumping out of cars and
running around in perfect health. He even seemed energized, like an
excited kid. Lucy knew that surviving a near-death experience
sometimes energized people, but she had been through the same thing
and she felt totally drained.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.
Glancing down at the gear shifter she noticed something glistening
from the center console. She looked curiously at it as it seemed
somewhat out of place.

Mark’s grip released. “I’m going to go tell
them we’re okay.”

Lucy acknowledged with a nod. As
soon as he was gone, she reached down to touch the shiny corner of
the console. It was wet and sticky. Bringing the tip of her finger
into the glare of the headlights behind her, she knew what she was
looking at. Rubbing her two fingers together, the substance smeared
into a thin, almost

orange-red color. It was blood.

Chapter
8

The drive home from the hospital
hadn’t been pleasant. James Higgins didn’t say a word. Lucy sat
next to him in the cab of his truck and wanted nothing more than to
fall asleep. But, all she could think about was the accident and
what she was sure she had seen. She remembered examining the
twisted metal. Bare steel and dark gray primer were visible from
bends and breaks all over it. She closely examined every inch of
the contorted steel looking for blood or any sign that anyone had
been hurt in the accident. She was so sure of what she had seen,
that Mark was bleeding as the car ran off the roadside, but there
was nothing. She found no evidence to support what she thought to
be true other than the small drips of blood on the console inside
the vehicle. He was fine and she was fine. They hadn’t been so much
as scratched in the accident.

As Lucy walked into the house, she headed for
the stairs, but she heard her father calling her back.

“
Lucy, sit down, please.” He
seemed calm, but he was nowhere near being at ease.

Lucy sat down in a dining room chair and
looked at her hands.

“
What were you
thinking, Lucy? We trust you to go to a dance, to be around good
kids, and the first chance you get, you head out of town to dark
coves at night—and on the way, these friends decide to drag
race!
”
His voice
was getting louder. “Do you realize that statistically you should
be dead right now? I don’t even want to know if there was alcohol
involved.”

Lucy looked up as she fought tears. “There
wasn’t any alcohol, I promise. They’re not like that.”

“
Well, I certainly hope you’re
right. We’ll know in the morning.” He turned around and paced to
the sink. Laura was leaning against the counter with her arms
folded.

“
Lucy
…
”
James faltered
for words.
“
I
don
’
t even know
how to respond to this,
”
he said as he walked back over to the table. “I
want your keys.” His words hung in the air as he held out his
hand.

Lucy looked up in shock. She wanted to say
something, plead her case, but the evidence was set firmly against
her. She got up and walked over to where she had dropped her purse
by the front door. She handed her father her keys. No more words
were exchanged, and James put the keys in his pocket.

Sensing the conversation was over, Lucy turned
around and marched herself up to her room and calmly closed her
door. She then threw herself on her bed and screamed into her
pillow, tears flowing.

***

Staring at the ceiling of her room the next
morning, Lucy felt bitter. She was angry, but she didn’t know with
whom. The truth was that she had only herself to blame for any of
what had happened to her. But more than bitterness, Lucy had been
haunted all night by the events that took place during the
crash.

The dream. Having been
knocked unconscious in the most severe incident in her life, she
didn’t understand why she would dream, especially of a place she
hadn’t been in days. Then, she had an improbable thought:
What if the dream wasn’t a dream?
As odd as it seemed, she was beginning to doubt
that the rainforest was a dream at all. It was so unlike a dream,
not by the sounds and smells, but that she remembered everything in
it with great detail.

What if it was the reason we
survived?
she thought.
What if I do have some sort of gift?

The immortal words of Arthur Conan Doyle
sprang to her mind. “That when you eliminate the impossible,
whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” But Lucy
was no Holmes.

You’re being ridiculous,
Lucy
, she thought.
You don’t have supernatural powers, you’re not a super hero,
and you certainly can’t heal things.
It
was a dream. No one has special powers; that’s what movies are for.
We
all want to be so special that we make
up stories about how some of us are. Get a grip
, she chastised herself, as she lay in bed fighting the
sunlight of the new day.

What was real was that since she was “just
fine” in the words of the doctors, she would be going to work. As
she got out of bed, her mental wrestling match was abruptly ended
by the sound of a knock at her door.

“
I’m up,” she said, her voice
sounding as hoarse as it had while she spoke to officer Gerhardt
earlier that morning.

Laura Higgins entered the room and closed the
door behind her.

“
Mom, I’m really not in the mood.
I need to shower and get to the library in less than an hour.” Her
words were full of self-pity as she sat down in her desk chair
facing away from her mother.

Laura walked up to and stood right next to her
daughter. “Lucy, I need to talk to you, so I would appreciate it if
you would face me.” She suddenly became stern, the kind of tone in
her voice that begged to use the first and middle names. “And you
will look me in the eye when I talk to you. Do you understand me,
young lady?”

Lucy wasn’t used to her mother speaking that
way, so she turned around and obeyed the command.

“
I’m so disappointed in you, Lucy.
You took advantage of your father’s leniency, and that makes me
angry. And you took advantage of me as well.”

Lucy looked confused.

“
The two days you skipped classes
this week. Did you think we wouldn’t know?”

Lucy closed her eyes for a moment as her
mother threw another log on the fire of guilt that was consuming
her.

“
I didn’t tell your father because
I knew how he would react, but I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.
How could you be so irresponsible?”

Lucy didn’t have anything to say on the
subject, as she was fully aware of her transgressions. She just sat
and silently stared up at her mother.

“
Do you have anything you’d like
to share about the horrible decisions you’ve made this
week?”

Lucy shook her head.

Laura uncrossed her arms and turned for the
door. “Get dressed. I’m taking you to work today and I’ll pick you
up at five. You have twenty minutes to be in the car.”

Lucy looked up to catch her mother before she
left the room. “Mom.”

Laura stopped in the doorway and looked over
her shoulder. There was so much Lucy wanted to say to her in that
moment, but only one thing felt right, the one phrase that could
start the healing process.

“
I’m sorry.”

Laura slowly turned in the doorway
to face her daughter. Her eyes were so soft and gentle that it hurt
Lucy to know just how disappointed she was over the whole
situation. Laura took a deep breath as if to say something that
would make everything alright. Her eyes were a dead giveaway that
she had forgiven her daughter, and Lucy could tell that everything
was just fine.

But then Laura looked at Lucy with those
disappointed eyes again and said, “You’re telling that to the wrong
person.”

***

Lucy walked into the library.
Kenny was the only one there, and he was on the phone, haggling for
more books or ironing out the details of that afternoon’s
Children’s Read Aloud. Lucy was actually quite content that no one
else was there. She wasn’t really in the mood to talk.

She set her purse at her station and checked
the drop box. There weren’t a lot of books to sort through and that
was another relief. As she sat in her chair and pulled up to the
desk, her last dream in the grove flashed momentarily in her head.
When she thought about Mark lying there, seemingly dying in her
arms, she felt a tug in her stomach, a sick feeling that brought
back the pain and despair she felt as she remembered calling for
Benjamin, asking for his help.

“
Well, hey, you!” came the always
loud, but somehow soothing voice of Mrs. Breen.

Lucy looked up at her favorite person in the
library. “Hi, Mrs. Breen.” She could feel her voice choke just a
little.

Mrs. Breen heard it, too, as she walked over
to Lucy and sat down in the chair next to her. Lucy just looked at
her. Mrs. Breen was just another person to whom she wanted to tell
everything, but couldn’t even begin to tell anything.

Sandi leaned toward Lucy and whispered, “I saw
your name in the morning edition. Why are you here,
darlin’?”

It was all Lucy could do not to let out a
cascade of emotion, so she didn’t even try. She reached her arms
around Sandi’s shoulders and let go of everything in convulsive
gasps.

“
I … I
don
’
t know. My
parents are … are …
”
She sobbed uncontrollably and Sandi just held her
tightly.

“
You don’t need to talk, sweetie.
Just let it out.”

The two held each other for a minute while
Lucy exorcised her demons. She didn’t talk, she just
cried.

As she was winding down, Kenny
leaned his head out of his office with the phone characteristically
attached to it. “Why are we still locked?” His voice was high and
irritated. “It’s after ten.”

Sandi turned to him as she handed Lucy a
tissue. “You just get that greasy, hippy head of yours back inside
your little box. I just came in and there ain’t no one out there
waiting. So, if you don’t mind, we’re busy over here.”

Kenny shot her a menacing scowl
and then noticed Lucy’s red, crying eyes. His expression changed to
the closest thing to compassion that Kenny was capable of, then he
turned back to his conversation and ducked back into his
office.

“
I better go get the doors before
he blows a gasket,” she said, winking.

Lucy just laughed into her hands, feeling so
grateful for Mrs. Breen and her ability to lighten any
mood.

***

Lucy took her usual lunch at two
o’clock. She walked outside into the air of the fading summer. She
could tell that fall was on its way because the air was getting
cooler. It was still early September, but on the Oregon coast the
summer died with August.

She walked over and sat on
the library bench. With her hand on the cold metal seat, she
thought about Mark, how helpless he had looked in the grove and
just how much she had wanted him to live. She closed her eyes and
meditated. She thought of the grove. She thought of Benjamin
standing with his sword hanging at his side. She thought about the
ridiculous notion that she had some kind of gift, a way of healing
or regenerating life.
It wasn’t real, it
was a dream
, she
thought.

In the seclusion of her eyelids, with the
fatigue of so little sleep, she thought that maybe a little bit of
a test would be possible.

Okay, when you open your
eyes, you need to find something and find it fast, a flower or
plant or something
.

In her mind it was easy to see
herself doing it. But, as soon as she opened her eyes, seeing
reality in front of her, the thought of doing what she wanted to do
became absurd and she could hear her logic try to talk her out of
it.

She stood up and held onto her
task no matter how stupid it felt. There was no one to watch, and
even if there was, they wouldn’t see anything unusual. So she
walked over to the flower beds and started looking. It didn’t take
long to find a daisy lying dead, having somehow been broken off of
its stem.