Read I'm Not Hanging Noodles on Your Ears and Other Intriguing Idioms From Around the World Online
Authors: Jag Bhalla
CANINES
HORSE-LIKE ANIMALS
A camel can’t see its own hump
Arabic: a pot calling a kettle black
FISH & SEA CREATURES
Climb a tree to catch a fish
Chinese: attempt the impossible
OTHER ANIMALS
To die dressed
Spanish: an unnatural death
Go out by the neck of your shirt
B
Y DEFINITION, IDIOMS
are deceptive…just like appearances can be. We have idioms to express exactly that thought:
all that glitters isn’t gold
,
a wolf in sheep’s clothing, never judge a book by its cover,
and
clothes do not make the man
. Similarly, suspicious Italians say “clothes do not make the monk” and the Chinese warn us “not to judge the horse by its saddle.” As we will see in Chapter Ten, however, some appearances can also be undeceptive. Arabic has a relevant proverb: “A book can be read from its title.” That’s clearly not applicable to this book.
Despite the admonitions of various proverbs, and despite the prevailing climate of oxymoronic
political correctness,
we are wired to judge people by appearances. We do it very quickly and unconsciously. Without giving it a
second thought
, or a first conscious thought for that matter, we notice a person’s race in a hundred milliseconds and a person’s gender in 150.
1
Key aspects of the way we appear to others are beyond our conscious control. That’s what makes them reliable as honest signals. For example, trained smile-ologists can use these uncontrollable truthful leaks to tell when a smile is genuine. They classify smiles as being either Pan American or Duchenne. Pan Ams are forced false smiles, which use only the muscles we have conscious control over, those around the mouth (contraction of zygomaticus major). Duchenne smiles, named after French neurologist Guillaume Duchenne, are the genuine kind and also involve involuntary contraction of muscles around the eyes (inferior part of orbicularis oculi lateralis), causing laugh lines or crow’s feet. This action also pulls down the lateral border of the eyebrow. It’s possible that the consciously controllable Pan Am muscles can push the cheek up (or, as the Japanese say, “the cheeks become loose”) enough to cause crow’s feet, which means smiling eyes can still lie. The Japanese demonstrate their greater facial precision by noting that to look pleased is to “lower the outside corners of your eyes.”
In an astonishing demonstration of the reliability of the connection between appearances and health, psychologists have shown how appearances can be undeceptive over several decades. A yearbook from Mills College for 1960 was analyzed to classify the genuineness of the girls’ smiles (it is a girls-only school). Their progress through life was periodically monitored. It turns out that the women who genuinely smiled in that one photo decades ago were more likely to have happy lives, stable relationships, and better overall heath.
2
Unfortunately, some of these once-reliable ways of judging appearances are now subject to
cosmetic perjury
. Our insatiable demand to recapture aspects of our youthful yearbook looks has created a huge industry dedicated to voluntarily immobilizing the involuntary muscles of our own faces. By injecting Botox, a powerful toxin, we can suppress the wrinkles that are usually reliable signals of aging. The relationship between beauty, the eye, and the beholder has been updated. Beauty is now also around the eye of the beheld. But such measures are a blunt instrument (the Germans might say “like shooting sparrows with a cannon”); they immobilize all of the related subtle facial signals, leaving the apparently newly youthful with an inhumanly flat emotional affect.
Surprisingly, such attempts to use poisons to engineer subtle false facial impressions aren’t new. Seventeenth-century Venetian women used an extract of the belladonna plant to dilate their pupils. We are more strongly attracted to those who seem attracted to us, and pupil dilation is a powerful (and naturally involuntary) indicator of interest and attraction. That’s how the plant that is the source of this early paralytic cosmetic got its name—
belladonna
means “beautiful lady” in Italian.
3
…which brings us back to language and idioms on appearances and health…
While English speakers say that someone looks
foxy,
meaning attractive or sexy, to a Spaniard “to be made foxes” means almost the opposite, to be poorly dressed. In language teaching, these sorts of words or phrases that mean something very different when translated are called “false friends”—more on those later. When we say someone has the “face of a monkey,” that typically wouldn’t be a compliment, but to a Spaniard that would mean the person is cute (usually used to describe children). While a short Englishman might be
knee-high to a grasshopper,
the equivalent Russian isn’t quite so diminutive, being “shorter than a sparrow’s nose,” and a vertically challenged Frenchman is even more impressive, being as “tall as three apples.” Speaking of tall, we don’t have a widely used English idiom for tallness, but such a vertically blessed Spaniard would be “taller than the hope of a poor person.”
Shorter than a sparrow’s nose
Russian: short
Where we might say that someone is as
strong as an ox,
a similarly powerful Spaniard would be “made into a mule.”
Strong as an ox
also has the connotation of being very healthy, which in Russian is to be like “blood with milk.” To achieve the same status, a Frenchman is required only to have “sound feet and eyes.” At the opposite end of the health spectrum, both Russians and French who aren’t well are “not in their plates.” If not being well goes on too long, we might end up
with one foot in the grave,
whereas a similarly imperiled Spanish speaker would be more active, having “one foot in the stirrup.” Spanish speakers apparently prefer to die naked—since for them to “die dressed” is to “die of unnatural causes.” When dead we
push up daisies;
however, the recently departed French continue their love of eating: Their corpses “eat dandelions by their roots.” At the same time, some deceased Germans have a decreased appetite, as they just “look at a radish from underneath,” while others “bite into grass.”
SKINNY
FAT
SHORT OR TALL
WELL DRESSED/STYLISH
POORLY DRESSED
UNATTRACTIVE/UNAPPEALING
HEALTHY/FIT/STRONG
OLD
ILL/WEAK/TIRED
DYING/DEAD