How to Be a Great Lover (6 page)

Now, the female condom will protect you from unwanted pregnancy, and from diseases obtained through vaginal and anal sex. But it will not protect you from diseases that can be contracted by oral sex, as regular condoms can.

You can also reduce the risk of contracting an STD by limiting your sexual partners. You are more likely to get a sexually transmitted disease if either of you has more than one partner. That's why the value of trust should never go underestimated in a relationship. What is often brushed aside or chalked up as one little indiscretion could literally be a matter of life and death. This is not a judgment; it's a fact. If you can justify a reason to cheat on your lover or spouse, that's your business. But please, he safe.

Finally, if you use intravenous drugs, don't share needles.

The Diseases

The following is a list of common sexually transmitted diseases along with their symptoms, potential dangers, treatments, and cures. This list is for your general information. It is not wise, under any circumstances, to self-diagnose when it comes to personal health. Several of these symptoms can be caused by factors other than an STD, and as I said earlier, many STDs can exist for a very long time before any symptoms are noticeable. If you think you have an STD, see your doctor. Smarter still, if you have engaged in risk behaviors, for your (and your partner's) health, get tested during a regular physical exam.

If your physician confirms your suspicions, follow the medication instructions to the letter, and tell you partner or

partners immediately There is no question that this can be difficult to do. But if your partner is not treated, too, he or she can easily give the disease back to you or to someone else, as well as be at risk of having irreparable damage. For more information about these and other sexually transmitted diseases, you can call the National STD Hotline at (800) 227-8922.

CHLAMYDIA
is often called the silent STD because there are usually no symptoms until the disease is in an advanced state. Symptoms may include burning during urination, unusual discharge from your vagina, pain in the lower abdomen, pain during sex, and bleeding between periods. An estimated four million new cases will be contracted by women in the U.S. this year alone. Chlamydia is spread through oral sex and intercourse. It can cause a bacterial infection deep within the fallopian tubes, causing chronic pain, tubal pregnancies, and infertility. With oral transmission, Chlamydia will give you an upper respiratory infection. Chlamydia can be passed from mother to child during birth, causing eye and lung infections in newborns. The good news is that Chlamydia is easily cured with antibiotics, but it must be tested for specifically. This test is not included in a regular Pap smear. You have to ask your doctor to be tested for it. Symptoms for men are pain during urination and discharge from the penis.

GONORRHEA
, also referred to as "the clap," is similar to Chlamydia, in that it is a bacterial infection that often goes undetected in women until permanent damage has already occurred. While we tend to associate gonorrhea with another century, the disease is still rampant in our country today. Although the number of cases of gonorrhea has dropped dramatically, it is still a common infection in adolescents. If
left untreated, it can cause sterility, tubal pregnancies, and chronic pain. It can also lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). Gonorrhea can be passed from mother to child during birth, causing eye, ear, and lung infections. Symptoms can include a yellow pus-like discharge from the vagina, pain while urinating, the need to urinate often, pain in the lower abdomen, and bleeding between periods. However, gonorrhea can also be completely asymptomatic. The good news is that this disease is easily curable if detected early with antibiotics. This STD is highly contagious and can be ! spread through any contact with the penis, vagina, mouth, or anus even without penetration. Men's symptoms are discharge from the penis and pain during urination.

Here's an interesting story related to me by a forty-two- year-old business executive for a Fortune 500 company, who had just come out of an eleven-month relationship when she had her annual OB-GYN appointment. She told her doctor that she thought she might have a yeast infection. The doctor told her that, as a matter of course, she would run a series of tests on her that checked for all STDs. What strikes me about this example is how quick the doctor was to check for STDs: that's how ubiquitous they are. She did just have a yeast infection but was also glad to know she was "clean."

PELVIC INFLAMMATORY DISEASE (PID)
is most

often the result of advanced stages of Chlamydia or gonorrhea. It is the leading cause of infertility in the United States. The most common symptom of PID is pain in the lower abdomen. Other symptoms include bleeding between periods, increased amount of, or a change in, vaginal discharge, nausea or vomiting, and fever with chills. When detected early PID is not life threatening, but if there has been damage to the fallopian tubes before detection, the consequences are often permanent.

SYPHILIS
is a very dangerous bacterial infection. It is very rare today in the general population. If left untreated, syphilis can be fatal or cause irreparable damage to the heart, brain, eyes, and joints. Forty percent of all babies born to mothers with syphilis die during childbirth. They can also be born with abnormal features. Symptoms are painless sores, rashes on the palms and feet, and swollen lymph nodes. If the ulcer or rash is present, syphilis is highly contagious through oral, vaginal, and anal sex, as well as through open wounds on the skin. When detected early, syphilis is curable with strong doses of antibiotics. Men's symptoms are the same as for women.

TRICHOMONIASIS (TRICH)
is a form of vaginitis caused by an amoeba-like organism that is spread through intercourse. An estimated three million new cases of vaginitis will be contracted in the U.S. this year. Not all forms of vaginitis are sexually transmitted, but the symptoms are similar. Yeast infections are a very common form of vaginitis not necessarily spread through sexual contact. You can get vaginitis by douching, taking antibiotics, adhering to a poor diet, and using vaginal products such as lubricants, sprays, and birth control devices. In addition, scented soaps, deodorants, detergents, and dyes in underwear or toilet tissue can also cause it. Symptoms can include discharge that is white or gray with an unusual odor, itching in or around the vagina, pain during sex, and pain during urination. It is more uncomfortable than harmful. Vaginitis is easily treatable through a prescription medication and by some medications sold over the counter.

HERPES
is another common STD. What's most startling about genital herpes is how widespread it is among the American population. It is estimated that somewhere
between 200,000 and 500,000 new cases of genital herpes will be contracted this year and 30 million Americans are infected already. An accountant from Milwaukee was shocked with how she had contracted the virus. She told me that after having been celibate for more than three years, she had slept with a man she worked with. She and he were friends, and after a few drinks after work one Friday, they went back to her place and ended up in bed together. Not more than three weeks later, she noticed she had painful, open sores on her labia. She went to the doctor, who confirmed that she had herpes. Then she called her friend. He was shocked: since he had never experienced an outbreak, he was completely unaware that he carried the herpes virus.

There are two types of herpes virus: the herpes simplex virus I (HSV I) and 2 (HSV II). HSV 2 causes genital herpes more often, but the HSV types 1 and 2 DNA can cause both genital herpes and cold sores. Visible symptoms include painful and/or itchy bumps or blisters near or inside the vagina and/or the rectum on women, and on the genital area for men, typically near the head of the penis. The virus can be contracted through any mucous membrane, including the eyes or any break in the skin. The first outbreak of genital herpes usually lasts between twelve and fourteen days, while subsequent outbreaks are shorter in duration (four to five days) and milder. Herpes is highly contagious when physical contact is made during an outbreak, but, as demonstrated by my seminar attendee's case, it can also be contagious when the virus lies dormant. There is no cure for this virus, though the oral medications Acyclovir, Valcyclorir, and Famcyclorir have proven to be highly successful in both minimizing the symptoms of current outbreaks and suppressing future recurrences.

What, precisely, causes a herpes recurrence has not been determined. However, studies indicate there is a strong association between herpes outbreaks and stress. While the symptoms of herpes can be very uncomfortable to those who have it, the real danger of this sexually transmitted disease is to an unborn child or an autoimmune-suppressed individual—someone with HIV or AIDS, for example. Most often transmitted during delivery, herpes can cause painful blisters and damage to the eyes, brain, and internal organs of a newborn baby. One in six newborns with herpes will not survive at all. The good news is that when knowledge of the herpes virus exists, a cesarean delivery can prevent damage to the child.

HPV (HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS INFECTION)
,

also known as condyloma, is a family of viruses consisting of over seventy different types. It is probably the most common STD. There will be an estimated one million new cases of HPV diagnosed this year. Certain forms of HPV cause visible genital warts, though some strains of HPV infection cause no warts at all. Genital warts are growths that appear on the vulva, in or around the vagina or anus, and on the cervix, penis, scrotum, groin, or thigh. They can be raised or flat, single or multiple, small or large. All sexually active men and women are susceptible to contracting HPV. It is spread by direct contact during vaginal, oral, and anal sex with someone who has the virus.

There is often confusion about HPV and its relation to cervical cancer. There are two types of HPV that are known to cause cervical cancer and several others that specifically cause genital warts but not cervical cancer. Because is it is a virus that can lie dormant for years, there is no known cure for this disease. Genital warts can be treated in several ways including Freezing, laser surgery, chemical peels, and topical creams. The strains of HPV that don't produce genital warts usually go undetected until there is an abnormality in your Pap smear. The good news is that genital HPV is manageable with proper diagnosis and cervical cancer has a high rate of cure when detected in its earliest stages. For this reason, it is imperative for all women to have regular gynecological checkups. Research suggests that about 30 percent of people who have had sex carry HPV. This rate is even higher in certain age groups and locales. For men, the painless growths that usually appear on the penis may also appear on the urethra or in the rectal area.

HEPATITIS B
is a disease of the liver. At least two causes of hepatitis can be sexually transmitted, hepatitis B virus (HBV) and hepatitis C (HCV). These infections are not curable and are much more infectious than HIV. It is spread through infected semen, vaginal secretions, and saliva, and it is easily passed from mother to unborn child. You can get Hepatitis B from vaginal, oral, and anal sex. You can also get it 'by direct contact with an infected person through open sores and cuts. If someone in your home is infected, you can contract Hepatitis B by using the same razor or toothbrush. You can even get this disease by wearing the same pierced earrings as someone who has it. In its mildest and most common form, you may never know you have it, but a few carriers develop cirrhosis and/or liver cancer. Your chances of contracting liver cancer are two hundred times higher if you've had these viral infections. Symptoms, when they appear, can be very much like those of the stomach flu. See your doctor immediately if you have nausea, unexplainable tiredness, dark urine, or yellowing of the eyes and skin. The treatment for the disease is rest and a diet high in both protein and carbohydrates. There is a vaccination for Hepatitis B, consisting of a series of shots, given in the arm.