Holding On (42 page)

*PEYTON: I’m not home but
I’m supposed to call Gramma tonight. Derek and I are heading to
Montana for a week. Don’t go all Mama Bear either. He wants me to
meet his family. They have a farm, how am I going to pull off
cowboy boots? Not my thing. Ughz! Are you alright? You are kinda
scaring me a little.

Whew, thank you Derek! She’s actually
out of this whole damn state. What a relief that is to me. I need
to get rid of her before we arrive at the hospital without alarming
her.

*ME: Oh yeah, I’m way fine. Just crap
with Hem is all. He will be fine, just don’t want to leave him
alone right now. You know what a big baby he is ;) Tell Derek I
said hi and I will talk to you soon. Love ya, sista.

I’m such a fraud!

We find our way to the
room they have admitted Cherry to.  Doctors told Hem that
she’s in bad shape.  They have induced a 24 hour coma until
they can determine extent of her injuries and this will also help
with her pain.  I hate that, how do they know or anyone know
that just because you are asleep you don’t feel pain?  Can she
hear us if we talk around her?  No one knows this so I’m going
to be sure we aren’t adding to her already stressed
condition.

“
Doctor said she’s in
critical, you do not need the detail of her injuries Mace, so do
not fuckin ask me, you got that?  Just matters now that we are
here and she’s alive.  We will see her soon enough.  Kegs
was here a few minutes ago, she couldn’t stomach it so Honor took
her back and will stay with her tonight. She’s got to stay at the
Club, if Cherry was a target then it leaves Kegs wide open to
threat as well.”

Hem is in big brother mode.  He’s
attempting to put the bubble of protection over Sadey and me but
we’ve seen too much now.  His attempts are futile.
 

“
I won’t ask Hem, but if
she makes it and she wants to talk about it I’m going to listen,
you can’t control that.”  

“
I know Sis.  I’m
sorry this has happened to your friend.  I really am. I will
handle the fucker that did this though, for both Cherry and for
Winnie. What a mess.” He’s so exhausted. When things happen in his
life, they happen quickly, not leaving him too much time to
think.

“
Sadey has already slid
into Cherry’s room and I hear her sobbing so I need to go in there
and be with her.” Hem looks pissed that Sadey helped herself into a
visit. Sadey is definitely better at the mothering but I’m stronger
when it comes to matters of death.

“
Alright.” Hem gives me a
side hug and letting me go he pushes me towards Cherry.

As I step into Cherry’s
room, Sadey turns around to look at me in horror. “Look at her
Mace.  Look what someone did to her.  I don’t even know
if this really is her? It is isn’t it? The boys aren’t wrong are
they?”  Her face is bandaged almost completely.  She left
eye is covered and her right is swollen completely shut.

I grab Sadey by the shoulder and pull
her to me as we stand on the side of the bed looking at our friend.
 “We’re here, she knows we are here and when she’s ready she
will come to us.  Believe in that, okay?”

*****

It has been an insane
couple of days.  Twelve hours ago our boys came back from a
secret meeting with Hood.  Four hours after, our friend was
found alive.  We are now waiting for a hospital call to tell
us she’s awake so we can go in and see her, talk to her and let her
know she’s not alone and we are here for her no matter what frame
she’s in or what she went through during the ordeal.

Hem has called a meeting
of all brothers and even the ladies at the Club are required to
attend this one.  He has only advised us that he has an
announcement.  This has never happened before so I’m a little
perplexed as to what Hem is putting into play.  Sadey assumes
he knows about the baby, and to be honest it wouldn’t surprise me
but I don’t think he has any idea right now. I can’t see Hem
calling a meeting of everyone to tell us he knows about the baby.
When he does know and no matter what is going on in his life, he
will stop time to maul the love of his life and thank her for
giving him this gift.  His mind is somewhere else right now
and for the first time since all this shit started I’m glad Hem
doesn’t have to think about the baby. Unconditional love
complicates everything and his mind needs to stay as uncomplicated
as possible for now.  

Hem stands at the front of
his meeting room and starts in without delay, “Look I’m about to
make this quick because we all have shit to do, I’m going to
get directly to the point.  During the chaos here the
yesterday, someone was able to make it to my office.  This
someone had to know exactly where I work from in the house.
 Pictures were found in the drawer.  Pictures of Cherry
before, during, and after her capture.  These pictures were
not pretty.  That’s all I’m saying about it so do not ask
further questions.  Now for my orders.  Ladies, you are
to stay put and remain here, do you understand?  You are not
to leave until we have more of an idea where the threat is. There
have been threats made to my family members and I take them all
very seriously.  Whoever did this to Cherry has an agenda, a
big one. You will be helping me protect you by doing what I tell
you and if you could do this without bitching and moaning it will
help.  Your complaints will fall on deaf ears and if needed,
I’m not beyond forcing you to stay out of harm. Men, you are
keeping your ear to ground.  Anyone breathes wrong then I want
to know about it.  Anything suspicious and you are to come
directly to me, got that?”

Collectively and in silence everyone
nods and agrees.  

“
Cherry is awake now, just
got the call from the nurse’s station at Memorial.  She’s
allowed only one visitor at a time and only one every hour for
about 15 minutes. She’s not out of woods so it will only be those
that she asks to see get to visit.  Again, are we
clear?”

Met with more silence, just
nods.

“
Mace, you and Sadey are
first in line after me. I need her alert and awake to get the
information I need from her, round up Kegs because she’s asking for
her.  We leave in 30.  That’s it folks and stay
safe.”

As ever Hem, short and to the
point.

I feel a hand around my hips and I’m
reassured knowing Shame is behind me.  In all the chaos it has
been a comfort to have refuge in knowing Shame and I are together.
 “Hey baby, you ready to see her?”

“
No Shame.  I’m
really not.  She’s not ever going to be the same person and
that guts me.  Until this is all hashed out, none of us will
be able to relax. Let me find Kegs, she was outside earlier and she
wasn’t looking too good.”

“
I know that baby, let’s
go though okay?  She’s waiting for her family to get there and
Kegs does look messy right now waiting to get this over
with.”

*****

Hem comes out of Cherry’s
room and he looks livid.  His fury is radiating off of him and
it consumes the entire waiting room.  We are all wanting to
talk to Cherry, one by one.  Hem nods at Shame and they start
to walk out of the room but not before Shame gives me a reassuring
kiss to the crown of my head and holds me tight briefly before
letting me go.  The nurse just left after giving Cherry
another round of antibiotics through her IV to help her avoid
infections.  She signals to me that I can go in and although
Sadey and I both know the rules, we just don’t give a rat’s ass
right now.  We are going in, together. As soon as the nurse
steps out of sight we rush in, holding hands.

Cherry doesn’t look any
different from yesterday but her swollen eye is open a bit now and
she has tears coming through it.  Unsure if she’s in pain or
if she’s upset from her visit with Hem.  She’s got so much to
be upset about I don’t know where to even start talking to her.
 Kegs folded out of visiting just yet so Honor took her for
coffee before she comes in.  Of all of us, this has affected
her the most. When she thinks about what happened to Cherry, it
hits her that it very well could have been her instead.

“
Hi.”  Cherry speaks
but it was hard to understand even that.  I’m guessing she
probably has some broken teeth to go along with that broken body.
 Her arm is wrapped up in a cast and most of her upper body is
bandaged in some way.  Her legs lay straight down on the bed,
looks like all of her damage was actually limited to just the waist
up, such a ridiculous thing to be thankful for, but I am. It is
devastating to see her like this.

“
Hey there baby, Kegs
wanted to come in but I told her we were first.  She went to
get some coffee but she will be up soon, okay?”

“
No she won’t.  This
is too close to her.  She won’t want to see this.  I
would rather she didn’t if that’s okay?  She and I are the
only family the other really has.  Just because we are
considered trash, even trash has family.”

That makes me sadder than
I already was.  I feel guilty, at one time I considered them
both trash as well.  I was so wrong.  They are human,
just as Winnie was and Bloom is, just that Cherry is so much softer
than the others, even Kegs. She was so quiet and kept to herself,
until that night Shame tried for her and Kegs together, I hadn’t
even ever heard her talk.

I step toward the bed, Sadey at my
side and I touch her hand.  She jumps a little on contact but
she lets me hold it loosely.  “So, are you comfortable?
 Are the nurses helping?  Is there anything you need? All
you have to do is ask, I mean that. Whatever you need, we are
here.”

“
No.  I’m fine.
 Did you talk to Hem?   I told him everything.
 He was so angry, Mace.  I didn’t think he would even
really care much but once he asked who it was and I explained that
it was Greyson that grabbed me he…”

I stop her, knowing there is no way I
just heard her right. “What?  What did you say?  I’m
sorry, I…”  Shit, I’m at a complete loss.  Was it Greyson
that called to tell us where she was?  She is confused, no
matter how violent he is, I don’t believe he would do
this.

“
Yes Mace, stop looking at
me like that.  I know what I heard.  I know what I felt
and I sure know what I saw.  He told me he was doing this so
that Hem would go to him, in surrender, to get what he ‘deserved’.
 He wants Hem dead, Mace.  I knew he hated us, but shit I
had never even met the man.  He told me that unless Hem gives
himself up to him that you or Sadey are next and he won’t be as
merciful to you as he was to me.” God, she looks so scared. There
was no mercy in her treatment. Wait what? Sadey or I
next?

Suddenly I feel tugging at
my side and I see Sadey grab the nearby trashcan and she loses it.
I want to believe that this is morning sickness, but I know it
isn’t. I’m so scared all this stress is going to cause her another
hospital stay, or worse. I hold back her hair and pat her back
through her sickness, it’s all I can do for her right now. I’m in
just as much shock as she is. I’m also pissed off that no one took
even a moment to tell us this news.

I swallow and look at
Sadey who is now standing completely still now as if she’s ignoring
her body’s reaction to the news she just heard.  No way, this
is not true.  Greyson wouldn’t do this to me and he told me
once he was rather fond of Sadey when she wasn’t around any of the
Club brothers, surely he wouldn’t hurt her.  Not even for his
hate of Hem and his family.

“
You know what Sweetie,
how about you rest and Sadey and I will go look for Kegs, I know
she does want to see you.  I promise she does.  Just try
and understand, if you can.  It is hard for her to wrap her
head around this.”  I’m trying too hard to stay calm but what
Cherry just told us and remembering the fury from Hem, I’ve got to
go find him before he does something reckless.

“
Okay, guess I will wait
here for her but please don’t force her in here. When she sees
this, she won’t ever forget it.”  She gives me a small smile
and closes her eyes and rests her head on her pillow
again.

Sadey leans in, never
saying a single word the entire time we are in this room and kisses
her temple.  Even though she’s barely keeping herself
together, she’s putting on her mothering mask for
Cherry.

Chapter
Seventeen
:

“
Go all the way with it, do not back off. For
once, go all the goddamn way with what matters.”

--Ernest Hemingway

It’s been two weeks now since Cherry
was found at the lake after getting that call to Sadey’s cell
phone. She’s still in the hospital and expected to be there for the
better part of a month. Hem has instructed the hospital staff that
he is to be billed for everything, sparing no expense. Once he told
Cherry this, she started to cry uncontrollably and since Hem really
is good with words he consoled her just as I would have, probably
better. He told her that she is part of this family, even though
informally. Her eyes showed the first sign of hope for the first
time since this all happened. She’s been getting some much needed
mental therapy as well. Shame recommended the shrink he had used
years ago after all that had happened with his family and the
devastation he had suffered through.

Sadey and Hem are doing great. She has
yet to tell Hem about the baby. She’s so scared and both Ace and I
agreed because of what has happened that we will give her just a
couple more weeks. She was thankful for this and I think it
probably was best for everyone. When Hem learns of his new baby I
want him to be able to embrace the idea and not have to focus on
anything else. Ace has been good too, he’s trying to let Sadey go.
I think he’s coming to terms that she’s with Hem and the pregnancy
has really moved this along. No way would she ever leave him before
but maybe in the back of his mind he thought she might, until he
heard the doctor give the news of the baby, then his hope was
forever diminished.