Here For You (14 page)

“See something you like?” she asked.

Snapping my face from her lips, I looked into her dark chocolate brown eyes. She was beautiful. “Maybe,” I told her, grinning as a drop of sweat dripped from the end of my hair. She reached for the rag on my shoulder and brought it to my face. Slowly, she wiped the drop of sweat that had landed on my cheeks.

“My name is Juliana,” she offered, her name rolling from her tongue. She was a flirt.

Grabbing her wrist that was close to my face I pulled her into me. “I’m James.”

*

Two weeks later and I was still with the same chick, Juliana. She was fucking sexy as shit, loved to work out, and didn’t give me much shit. I still hadn’t heard from Becca and it’d been over a month, but spending time with Juliana was taking my mind off of her. I spoke to her about Becca the other day and she said that I should just stop and let her text me or call. I agreed with that answer.

“Where the hell are you going, dude?” Paul asked me, walking by my room. I had just slipped on my black jeans.

Going inside my closet, I grabbed a black t-shirt. “Going out. What does it look like?” I told him, shaking my head.

“Shut up, dude.” He just continued walking down to the bathroom, I guess.

I reached for my all black converse and slipped them on my feet. Taking a final look at myself, I moved a strand of hair that had fallen onto my forehead. I loved that I didn’t have to do anything to my hair, just wet it, run my hands through it and that was it. Just as I was about to go to the kitchen, my phone made a noise. I grabbed it off my nightstand and saw that it was from Juliana.

Juliana: Hey baby, I’m almost there. Your bike or my car? (8:13pm)

Me: You want to get on the back of my motorcycle? (8:14pm)

Juliana: I’m wearing a skirt… (8:15pm)

Me: Even better lol (8:15pm)

Me: lol I can use Paul’s car? He’s not going out today (8:15pm)

Juliana: We can take my car but you can drive it lol (8:16pm)

Me: Damn *snaps finger* ok, I’ll see u soon (8:17pm)

“Jackass,” Paul said as he walked around me. I had an odd problem that whenever I wrote a text I had to stand in the same spot. “I know you’re going out but where to and with who?”

Nosy bastard. I was right behind him, waiting for him to finish in the fridge so I could grab a beer. “Move asshole,” I joked. He grabbed his beer and made his way to the living room. “And I’m going out to the movies or some shit with Juliana.”

Grabbing my beer, I popped the cap and took a sip. The nice coldness went down my throat and cooled me off instantly. I leaned with one elbow on the counter.

“You’re still with her, dude?”

I was waiting for that question. “Yeah, I’m still with her. Just dates and sex. I don’t know what you call that?”

Paul spit some of his beer out of his mouth, coughing. “Are you okay, bro? That shit is called ‘dating,’” he said in between coughs. Getting off the counter, I made my way around to pat his back. He held a hand up and nodded his head. After one last cough he said, “I can’t believe it, dude.”

“Can’t believe what, that I want to go out?” I was fucking with him now. I knew what he was talking about, but honestly I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t know how I felt about it. I mean, I didn’t want to call her my girlfriend because I didn’t know what we were yet. How does one become a girlfriend or boyfriend? Isn’t that high school shit? But then again, I had never been in a
relationship
so I didn’t know what this was. Or what she thought this was.

“Stop fucking with me, dude,” Paul moaned. That damn word.

“Stop with the dude, dude.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little before I finished off my beer. As I went to throw my beer away in the recycle bag someone knocked on the door. I didn’t bother to ask who it was, I just opened it. There she stood looking as edible as the first day I saw her. She was wearing a light blue sundress. Her black hair was loose and draped over her breasts. I normally didn’t like too much makeup, but she looked amazing in it. After I finished examining her, wanting to take her to my bedroom, I landed on her brown eyes and seductive grin.

She moved closer to me and put her arms around my neck. She had on heels, which helped with the height difference. “Hey, baby,” Juliana, whispered as she planted a kiss on my lips.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer for a kiss. A growl made its way up my throat. “Strawberry,” I breathed.

“Just the way you like it.”

“You guys are making me sick. What did you do to my friend?” Paul asked loudly.

Turning around with her still in my hands, I gave him the finger. “Suck a dick, asshole.” He just laughed, shaking his head, and continued to flick through the channels on the TV. I turned back to Juliana. “Are you ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She gave me a quick peck on the lips and out we went.

Once we were down the hall I stopped her and lightly pushed her back against the wall. I leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Later, you’re mine.”

becca

As I was getting ready for my date with Grey, I couldn’t stop the tears that streamed down my face. Grey had been helping in this crazy situation I was in, the one that was eating away at my insides. I’d been avoiding talking to those I loved the most because they would all want to explore the feelings that I was trying to dissolve. Grey and I had been doing great ever since I’d told him that I hadn’t spoken to James in a while. We’d spoken about it a couple of weeks ago. And we’d even been going to the gym together sometimes. Not something I wanted to do, but I had realized that it relieved a large amount of stress, something I’d been having a lot of lately. But not only did it help with stress, I’d also lost four pounds. Maybe it was the gym, or maybe my lack of appetite, I didn’t know. I looked at myself
in the mirror. I needed concealer, eyeliner, and mascara. My eyes were puffy from crying so I needed everything to cover it up.

The black under my eyes would let the whole world know that I hadn’t been sleeping. This was consuming my life, but it
was
my life. Rummaging through my drawer, I found I only had a little of everything, so I made do with it.

Taking one last glance at myself in the mirror, I was happy at what I could see. Feeling confident after I’d lost weight, I had agreed to go shopping with Grey for some new clothes. With the few cases he’d won he was feeling a little flashy and insisted on paying for my stuff. So here I was, wearing a ruby red, button up, silk blouse, with a black pencil skirt. I paired my outfit with some low heels, and my hair was in a ponytail. I looked nothing like me and that’s what I had been striving for recently. When Grey had said that he wanted to reserve a seat at a fancy restaurant on the phone a couple of days ago I agreed. He also mentioned something about an office somewhere but I was so zoned out that I didn’t hear what he was saying.

I was putting on my pearl earrings – something else Grey bought me – when I heard a beep from my phone. I didn’t want to look at it because it could only be one of three people: James, Emma, or Grey. I was hoping Grey. However, I still picked up my phone after straightening out my blouse to see who had text me.

Emma: WTF! U better have a great fucking excuse for not calling me, it’s been well over a week since we've talked properly! (5:45pm)

I didn’t want to, but a quick text would do. I’d called Emma a couple of times because I knew that if I didn’t she would be at my door banging the thing down. But I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want to see anyone that would make me deal with the problem at hand. So I fed Emma a bullshit story and that was it. My story being that I wanted to spend more time with Grey. Which was both the truth and a lie.

Me: I’m so sorry. I’m going out to dinner with Grey I’ll ttyl love ya (5:46pm)

Emma: Yeah whatever! (5:46pm)

I threw my phone in my bag and made my way downstairs. I went to the fridge to grab a glass of water and wait for Grey, who should have been here a few minutes ago. Leaning against the sink, I heard someone clearing their throat.

When I turned around I saw my dad. “You look beautiful. Going somewhere?” he asked.

“Yes, I am. Grey is coming soon and we’re going out to eat. Did you take your meds?” I didn’t want to have a conversation with him right now. I was
fine
right now. I didn’t need to be
not fine.
And since he was damn awful at taking his meds, every chance I got I had to remind him all day.

He tried to look everywhere except for me. “Well, you kids have fun. And yes, I did take my medicine.” And just like that he went back to the living room, limping on his left leg. I wanted to ask him if he was alright but I was just a little tired right now, making sure he did other things, like take his medicine. I let out a breath that I didn’t even know I was holding and finished my water, deciding to wait for Grey outside.

*

“Wow, Grey, this restaurant is beautiful.” It was one of those high end places that you knew you could never dine at if you weren’t with someone who could afford it. I knew he was doing well at work but I never figured it was like this. This was nothing compared to the restaurants we were going to a couple of months back.

He smiled wide before speaking. “I want to spoil you, plus, I have some big news.”

He’d been doing really well with the compliments this last week or two, and I was soaking up every single one of them.
 I was so happy I’d let go of James, because I was really happy with Grey. My feelings toward James hadn’t changed too much, but not speaking to him was driving me crazy. Grey didn’t bring up shit I didn’t want to talk about, or push me when I didn’t want to do something. If I said ‘no I don't want to talk about it’ then he wouldn’t pressure me or keep asking questions.

That’s all James would do. I understood why, it was who he was. But that’s why I didn’t want him around. I also didn’t want him around because he knew me so well and I didn’t want to talk about my problems or something that was hurting me so much with someone who could read me so well. All of the feelings that had been going on inside of me every time we were together, and at times, when we weren’t, would just consume me along with what I was going through. It would be too much. Now that I was thinking about him, I couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing. Just like Emma, he had been trying to contact me, but talking to him would be too painful. I wasn’t ready to deal right then but I hoped when the time came he would understand. This thing with my dad had taken an unexpected turn so dealing with him and everything else in life would just be too much.

I took a sip of my wine, nice and crisp. “Well, thank you so much,” I said. “I needed this…badly.”

I was sure Grey knew there was something wrong with me, and normally I would have wanted him to ask, but I was grateful that he hadn’t. I wanted to tell him and I should have, but talking about it all just seemed like too much. I mean, he had asked me how everything was, but all I had to say was that I was okay, and he was fine with that. Nice and laidback, just what I wanted and needed in my life at that moment.

He was looking mighty sexy in his all black attire. Black slacks, black button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up a little, and black shoes. I was so happy I’d worn what I did because we matched perfectly.

“So,” I said, smiling and holding my glass of wine as I waited for my food to come. “What did you want to tell me?” I took a sip of wine.
So freaking good.

He grabbed my other hand, and I didn’t know why I got butterflies in my stomach but I did. “I have very strong feelings for you,” he began. I swallowed hard. Where was he going with this?

Taking a deep breath, I squeezed his hand. “I have very strong feelings for you too.”

When I said those words he brightened up. Even though he had many flaws, he meant well. He knew what he wanted in life and apparently that meant being with me. Emma loved to bash him, but whatever. She wasn’t the one dating him. Looking at him now, I noticed things I hadn’t allowed myself to look at before, like the barely there dimples on the sides of his mouth when he smiled, or the small scar he had above his right eyebrow. At this point, I could name more things I loved about him than things I didn’t like about him.

But the smile that was plastered on his face changed into a frown. “I don’t want you to be upset with me, but I’ve been thinking about it and I just want to get some things off of my chest.” Out of instinct, I pulled my hand away. “No, sweetie pie, just listen to me first.” He tried to grab my hand again. At first I wasn’t going to let him but I didn’t want to cause a scene, not today.

I was extremely afraid of what he was about to say, especially considering the shit that had been piling on me since a few weeks ago. “Go ahead,” I said, my voice a little shaky.

“Let me talk first, okay? Don’t interrupt me.”

I just nodded.

He swiped his thumb across my knuckles. “I was always jealous of James and your friendship when you and I got together.” He cleared his throat. “When we got together I didn’t realize just how close you two were. You know when a girl says ‘he’s my best friend’ people look at it or assume you said, ‘we’re friends with benefits.’ I got very jealous and didn’t believe you when you said that you’d never slept together.”
Where the hell was he going with this?
“Well, that first month I… I…umm…I slept with…with someone el…”