Her Last Wish (5 page)

As if answering my
thought process, he sighed. “She died a few years ago. She was in a car
accident.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. I
wasn’t sure what else to say. What could I say to make any of that better? It
was obvious that he loved her dearly. Nothing could bring her back. As much as
I wished otherwise, words would be completely useless, but they were all I
could offer. I couldn’t even imagine the pain of losing someone so important.

He shook his head and
turned to face me. I could feel his eyes searching me for something deeper than
my appearance. “Can I confide in you?”

My heart raced. I
wasn’t sure how to react. He barely knew me, yet he wanted to tell me something
so personal that he actually had to ask if it was okay. This was after telling
me about his dead wife and freaking out in the car. I couldn’t help but think
about how much of an awkward day it had turned into, not to mention what an
awkward situation I found myself in. But if letting him get whatever it was off
his chest would help him go back to something like normal, I decided I’d gladly
do it. “Of course.”

“She wanted nothing
more than to have a baby. We tried for so long. We even tried IVF. You know
what that is, right?”

I nodded in response.
I’d obviously had no experience with reproductive methods, but I wasn’t
entirely clueless.

“Well, she died before
anything came of that. After her death, I decided that I wanted to give her
that baby, even if she isn’t here to help me raise it. It was the one thing
that she wanted. I owe it to her memory. After she died, I promised her that I
would make it happen.”

I stared in silence.
What could I say, anyway?

He turned back to the
crucifix on the wall. “I have everything I need to make it happen, with the
exception of one thing: someone to carry it. The call in the car, the call at
the coffee bar … They were both from surrogacy agencies. There were more than
those two, even. I called all of them in the state. I tried so hard to keep
that promise to her. But every single agency turned me down. They don’t want to
help me because I’m a single male who works long hours. I tried to explain that
I can choose, and therefore shorten, my hours. But none of them will listen to
me. I suppose the first two factors hold more power over their decision than
the job situation. At any rate, I’m frustrated because I can’t keep my promise
to Elizabeth. I can’t give her that child she wished for without help. And I
can’t get those agencies to give me the help I need. I obviously can’t carry a
fetus.”

“But I can.” I quickly
placed my hand over my mouth. I couldn’t believe I had let that sentence slip
out. What was I thinking? The man was clearly in pain. He found himself making
a promise that he couldn’t keep. That was terrible. I felt bad for him. But he
was obviously still a bit unstable. I had watched him try to beat the heck out
of his car just because he received bad news. How could I be sure that he
wouldn’t turn that rage around on a child?

But at the same time,
my rogue verbal thought was the truth. I
could
help him. And he wasn’t
so unstable that he’d turn on me. He hadn’t even made a step in that direction.
It would have been so easy for him to do, but he’d held that bit of control.

“I’m sorry?” he asked,
turning to stare at me.

Just do it,
some voice deep inside
me ordered.
It wouldn’t be your baby. You wouldn’t have to do anything but
carry it to term. Then you could hand it right over. He would be happy. His
wife would have been happy. You’d have helped him, so you’d be happy. Wins all
around.

Despite my better
judgment (and the suspicion that my inner voice had gone just insane as
Professor Mason temporarily had), I decided to repeat myself. “I can carry it
for you. If you want me to, that is.”

I could almost feel his
eyes searching me for answers. “You would do that? Why?”

“Well, it would be
through IVF, right? We wouldn’t have to … You know …” I stated awkwardly. I
could feel the heat rushing to my face. I wasn’t sure if it was because I felt
as if I should already know the answer or if it was the thought of conception
and its general process that had somehow managed to sneak into my mind. Perhaps
it was the acknowledgement of even having those sorts of thoughts in a church about
my teacher, of all people, that finally did me in.

“No, of course we
wouldn’t have to. I need a surrogate, not a prostitute.”

I was pretty grateful
it wouldn’t have to be that way. If it did, he’d have been on his own. “So,
what would you need from me?”

He paused for a second,
surprise on his face, as if he hadn’t expected to actually get his idea out of
planning stages. “Well … I suppose I need to speak with my lawyer to draw up a
contract for you to sign.”

“Contract?”

“It would basically
state our terms before we even get started. I would, of course, pay for all of
your expenses relating to this. Doctor’s bills, maternity clothes, you name it.
And I’ll be with you every step of the way, if you like. If you want extra pay
for your trouble, I’d be more than happy to do that, too.”

Extra pay?
I thought.
For
what? Just carrying around a baby?
I quickly decided that being paid to do
something like that would make me feel too much like that prostitute he
mentioned. Well, prostitute minus the actual sex bit. Were test tube
prostitutes a thing? “I don’t think paying me will be necessary. I’ll do it
just because it’s something I feel like I should do.”

When he smiled again,
he returned to that younger, less haunted person. I wished I could see more of
that. Perhaps his whole crazy scheme would help him be happy, after all. “You
have no idea how much this means to me.”

I smiled back. “No. But
I’m glad I can help.”

Chapter Six

Connor

It’s funny how life
works, sometimes. I had wished for my favorite coffee girl to show up at the
bar. Not only did I get my wish, I also got to drive her home to her little apartment
outside town. More than that, for whatever reason, she decided to help me out
with my surrogate problem.

Elizabeth used to
always talk about fate and miracles. I never put much stock in it. But I had to
admit that everything worked out perfectly that day. Did I know that Charlie
would be the answer to all my problems? Of course, I didn’t. It would be
extremely arrogant (not to mention false) to say otherwise. The ease with which
that difficult situation resolved itself, however, was, indeed, miraculous. I
mean, how many college girls would offer to carry a baby that wouldn’t belong
to them? In my experience, college girls did whatever they could to
avoid
a pregnancy (short of the actual abstaining from sex option), regardless of the
circumstances.

I laughed to myself as
I wondered what her          boyfriend would think about our agreement. I
didn’t exactly care how angry he would be. In fact, I
hoped
he would be.
And I was pretty
sure
he would be. I would have been livid if Elizabeth
had offered to carry a baby for someone else without consulting me, first. I
didn’t know him, despite the fact he’d seemed a bit familiar somehow, but I
did
know I didn’t like him. Something about him screamed controlling asshole. I
just couldn’t put my finger on what. Maybe it had been his general attitude
earlier in the day. But I couldn’t talk to her about it. It wasn’t my business.
I barely knew her, after all.

Besides, my odd
fascination with her was confusing enough. I didn’t need to give myself a
reason to provoke it. I still didn’t know how I went from missing her at the
coffee bar to having a hard time walking away from her, altogether. Was it her
random acts of kindness? A kind word here and a free coffee there always did
make my day better. And she had a smile that could capture hearts.

Perhaps that was it.
She hadn’t exactly captured mine, but in all fairness, I was pretty sure mine
had died with Elizabeth. But she had, at the very least, captured my attention.
Charlie seemed to be the softly lit candle in my dark world. She was no
Elizabeth. But I felt safe around her, even without proof that I would be. And
she was a positive force to help keep my head above water.

***

Charlie

Although I didn’t want
to, I had to call Jackson and let him know about the decision I’d made. There
wouldn’t be a way to hide it from him. Even assuming there was a
possibility
of hiding it would have been the most ridiculous thing that anyone could do.
Unless, of course, I were to completely avoid him for however many months. I
somehow thought that would be pretty suicidal for
any
relationship, let
alone one where the couple got to see each other as infrequently as we did.

I paced around my empty
living room for at least an hour after Professor Mason left. I knew I had to
make the call. But it was so hard to figure out how to even say it. How is it
that I could make such a difficult decision so easily, but I didn’t have the
guts to even voice it?

I supposed it didn’t
matter. I’d already made my decision. I’d said I’d do it, and I would. Assuming
everything would be in order, I’d sign that contract within the next day or
two. It was going to happen. I wouldn’t back out. It felt like the right thing
to do.

“Quit being a wimp,
Charlie,” I told myself.

After swallowing the
huge lump in my throat, I picked up the cordless phone off my end table. It was
time. The longer I put it off, the harder it would be.

Jackson answered the
phone in three rings. “Hello?” he asked.

“Jackson, it’s me,” I
replied nervously.

“I thought you didn’t
want to talk to me today.”

“It’s not that. It’s
just …” I sighed. I didn’t see a point in saying that I just didn’t want to
fight when I was probably about to start one. “Look, I need to tell you
something.”

There were a few
seconds of silence. “What is it? Is everything okay? Are you okay? Do I need to
come get you?”

“No, I’m fine. It’s not
anything like that. I just … I decided to do something, and it’s kind of
important. It won’t directly affect you or anything. But it’s not something
that I can keep from you.”

“What are you talking
about?”

“I’ve decided …” I
paused. I couldn’t just blurt it out as it actually was
. I’m going to carry
Professor Mason’s baby for him. I know you don’t like him, but I hope you don’t
mind.
I could only imagine how that would go over. I couldn’t even get the
words past my lips. I had to think of a better explanation quick. Fortunately,
an idea came to me almost immediately. “I’ve decided that I’m going to earn
some extra money for school by being a surrogate.” I knew I shouldn’t have lied
to him, but I didn’t see any other way to both tell him
and
keep the
peace.

“A surrogate? Like
someone who gets pregnant for other people?”

“Well, yes.”

“So you won’t have sex
with me, but it’s totally okay for you to–”

I rolled my eyes, even
though I knew he couldn’t see it through a phone. “It’s not like that. There
won’t be any sex involved. I would go in to see a doctor, and the doctor would
put the already fertilized egg in there. Then I’d carry it around for forty
weeks and hand it over to the hospital. Then the hospital would hand it to the
new parents. Easy.”

“So do you get to meet
these parents?” I could tell by his tone that he still wasn’t happy with the
situation.

“No.” That made two
lies. I felt like a horrible person. “It’s anonymous.”

“Do you seriously think
you can carry a baby and then walk away from it? That doesn’t seem like
something you would be able to easily do.”

“It’s not mine to begin
with. I’m not giving it up. I’m giving it
back
. As long as I can
remember that …”

“I don’t think you can,
Charlie. This is going to be a much bigger thing for you than you think it is.
And what are you going to do when all my friends look at you weird thinking we
slipped up?”

“I don’t care what your
friends think. And I already signed everything,” I snapped. There it was. Lie
number three. I’d be spending a long time in purgatory, for sure. “I can’t do
anything about it now. So are you still with me or not?”

After a brief
hesitation, I heard him sigh. “Yeah, I’m with you.”

Chapter Seven

Connor

I finally got the call
from my lawyer that the paperwork was ready by the end of the day on Sunday.
Most lawyers wouldn’t work Sundays, but mine had been a friend of my family’s
for years. Naturally, I swore him to secrecy. Last thing I needed were my
parents asking questions. It wasn’t their business.

I knew Charlie had told
me that she didn’t want me to help her with a lot of things involving our new
arrangement, but I put them in writing in the document, just in case she
changed her mind. I was relieved that the things she turned down weren’t the
emotional support or the frequent updates so I would know what was going on. It
was all monetary stuff she didn’t want to claim from me, which unfortunately
only made me like her more. I certainly didn’t mind paying for any of it, but
something about her turning away money made her more attractive. She wasn’t one
to squeeze men for every cent, a breed of female I’d had more than enough
experience with in the past. It only made me want to do more for her. Plus, I
decided I’d probably pay for a lot of it before she ever got a chance, anyways.
No one ever said I couldn’t buy her gifts of appreciation. She would need a lot
of medical care and a whole maternity wardrobe. I decided she only turned it
down because she hadn’t the foresight to see how expensive those things really
were, though I knew the truth of the matter was that she was likely too proud
to ask for it. I would fix that problem for her.