Healing my Heart: Book 2 - My Heart Series (7 page)

“
A phone is a way for someone to contact another person. If you don’t answer it what is the goddamn point of having one? What would you think if you rang me eight bloody times and I didn’t answer?” he questions.

“
I must have left the stupid phone on silent. I didn’t even realise, I was so tired from work and it’s been a draining few weeks,” I tell him feeling nauseas and shaky myself.

Dylan walks over and clambers down on the lounge; he roughly runs his hands through his hair and puts his head on his knees. Feeling very conflicted I don
’t know whether to attempt to calm him down and be sympathetic or to scowl at him to get the hell out of here for being such a jealous arsehole.

He looks up at me now looking much calmer.
“Shit Rox, I think I over reacted,” he confesses to me finally realising just how much he has stuffed up.

“
You make me so crazy do you know that?” he asks me rhetorically. “I just can’t handle not being with you and then the thought of you being with someone else crossed my mind and I really lost it.”

“
I am crazy in love with you Roxy,” Dylan admits to me and I realise he just said he’s in love with me.

I have been waiting for it.
Actually I have been dreading this moment.
I just don’t feel love for him, not at all. Sometimes I don’t even like him or the way he behaves if I’m being honest. I guess I’m still with him out of respect, for the way he saved me when Kade left. I also feel guilt, knowing he had his heart broken too. I don’t want to be the one to do that to him again.

I decide to sit next to him on the sofa as I
’m sure he is quite vulnerable right now after pouring his heart out to me. He lovingly puts his hand on my knee and squeezes. “I am sorry. Once again I overreacted Roxy,” he tells me sincerely and his baby blue eyes look so caring and deep, damn it, they get me every time. How can I walk away? He really cares, maybe just too much.

I rest my hand that has finally stopped shaking, on his hand and give it a gentle squeeze.
“It’s okay Dylan, if you would just relax and enjoy life a bit more, you would be less stressed and you are nearly out of chances. Next time I won’t be so forgiving, do you hear me?” I tell him with honesty and a slight warning.

He acceptingly nods and leans in to kiss my lips softly - his lips feel soft and sweet. Right that second I think of salty kisses, the rough and salty taste I would gladly swap for in a heartbeat. Dylan slowly pulls back and gazes deep into my eyes with his own crystal blue set.

“Did you hear what I said before Roxy? I mean it, I am crazy in love with you,” he tells me and kisses my lips again with passion and need.

“
Thanks Dylan that means a lot much to me. I care so much about you, I’m just not ready for those words yet, but soon okay,” I state to him and lean in to kiss his lips. Really hoping another war doesn’t start from my confession. In the words of Phil Collins, “You can’t hurry love.”

“
As long as we’re together Roxy, that’s all that matters to me. I’d die before I’d live without you in my life,” he declares and his words hit home.
He would rather die than live without me? Oh boy…

Dylan stands slowly and gathers me into his muscular arms.
“Put me down Dylan, what are you doing?” I ask him anxiously unsure of his now behaviour.

He carries me gently into my bedroom, kissing my cheek and placing me on my queen sized bed. He climbs on too and starts to lovingly kiss my lips, then plants soft kisses on my neck.

“Oh Dylan, let’s just get some sleep baby. I’m exhausted,” I tell him and I can’t believe I would ever turn down sex.

He starts to pull down my pyjama
pants, exposing my bare flesh. “You will love what I have planned for you Roxy, so just relax and enjoy baby,” he proclaims to me, as I lay half naked before him.

Before I can argue his mouth is on my core and his tongue is working its magic.

“Ahh,” I moan at the hot sensation it sends up my centre.

Dylan swirls his tongue around inside me over and over, it feels so good.  He bites at my folds and sucks, alternating his teeth and his tongue. He grabs my legs and I wrap them around his shoulders as he thrusts his tongue in deeper and adds his thumb to my clit, massaging it to increase my arousal.

“Yes, Yes!” I scream feeling so turned on and knowing my release is getting closer. I move my hips to meet his intense tongue swirls and his thumb starts flicking my clit harder.

“
Faster Dylan, I’m so close!” I scream to him. He does exactly that with so much speed and friction that I fall apart and my orgasm hits with force over and over.

“
YES! YES! YES!” I scream in ecstasy. I shiver and shake as I ride the wave of my release, griping the sheets and enjoying the moment.
Shit I really needed that…

As I lay reeling from my explosion I vaguely notice Dylan stand and discard his jeans and underwear, then he
’s on me in a flash. He lifts my top and rubs my breasts, tweaking my nipples as he adds his mouth to suck and bite. I feel his arousal push into my thigh, so hard and firm.

“
I want you right now Roxy. I need to be inside you. You are mine, I love you so much,” Dylan tells me. His words stab at my heart, just as his cock enters me. He pushes in hard and deep, before he withdraws and repeats over and over.

I am numb from his words, his actions, and his lies that are slowly unravelling.

“Come with me Roxy,” he tells me and I realise I’m not even close or in the right frame of mind so I fake it.

“
Yes. Yes, I’m coming!” I scream. It feels fucking good to scream, to let all my emotions out.

Dylan thrusts harder and faster over and over

“Oh yes Roxy! Arrrggghhhh!” he screams as he comes with one last hard thrust and I feel his warm liquid inside me, it actually makes me shudder… I feel trapped in a love less relationship.

How could I feel so deliriously happy in the past and now feel
life less and stripped bare resembling a naked rotting corpse… Dead and limp, with no life left in it.

Well fuck. Life isn
’t all about the rainbows and unicorns now is it?

C
h
apter 9

Shake Your Booty

“I am having a night out with you and the girls whether Dylan likes it or not Jemma,” I practically shout out to her from my room.
I’m putting my foot down, when was the last time I went out?

“
That’s my girl Rox. I thought I’d lost that independent stubborn as an ox bestie I have known my whole life,” Jemma calls back playfully.

“
I still can’t believe you haven’t mentioned the info you found out about his ex, Roxy. What are you waiting for?” Jem asks me sounding puzzled.

“
It’s not something I can just come out with and ask him now is it? ‘So I stalked you on Google, is it true?’ He is going to be pissed,” I answer her back feeling apprehensive.

“
Speaking of pissed, are you calling him to tell him about tonight or send him a text?” she asks me laughing and honestly I don’t know which way to go about it.

“Hmmm, I have no fucking clue,” I call back as I walk into the lounge room laughing even though it is anything but funny.

We hear a knock at the door, oh shit.

“Well looks like there is your answer,” Jemma whispers smirking at me and does a little dance before hurrying off to her room. I take a deep breath and open the door.

“
Hi beautiful,” Dylan greets me as he plants a soft kiss to my lips.

“
Hey babe,” I say to him casually trying not to let on that I’m planning a crazy arse night out. He walks in and makes himself comfortable on the lounge, as per usual.

“
Come and sit with me Roxy,” he pleads with me holding his arms out.

I sit next to him and he pulls me in close where he holds me in a tight embrace, he smells sweaty and dirty from working.

Lately I must admit he has eased with the text messages, going from eight down to three is an improvement and one phone call on my lunch break like he said he would. Miracles do happen.

He just lays holding me and not saying a word.
Is he in a shitty mood, is he tired? Does he already know about tonight?
I’m feeling puzzled and slightly uneasy.

“
What is wrong? Are you okay or being a grumble bum?” I say to him trying the break the ice and make him laugh but no such luck.

“
Just a shitty morning at work,” he tells me as he grabs the remote and flicks through the TV channels, acting more fidgety than usual.

“
Why don’t you go and have a few drinks, catch up with some friend’s babe. Maybe go see Charles,” I say to him hoping he does takes my advice; we need to do things with other people.

“
You trying to get rid of me Roxy?” he asks me chuckling but also raising his eyebrows concerned.

Um, well yeah,
kinda…
I think to myself.

“
It’s not healthy Dylan, we both need our friends and families. When did you last see your mum and stepdad or your brother and sister?” I ask him and start to wonder what the real deal is there.

“
You know what it’s like Roxy, we aren’t a close family like yours, end of story,” Dylan states to me in an angry tone as he runs his hand through his messy hair.

“
Okay it’s up to you but blood is blood Dyl. I’ve always been a big believer in that, partners and friends come and go but family is forever,” I tell him quickly to get my point across before he cuts me off.

“
Thanks for that Roxy, I am grateful for you trying to intervene but some things are better left the way they are,” he replies hastily.

“
Oh hey Dylan,” Jemma says as she walks out of her room into the kitchen.

“
Hey Jemma, how you doing?” Dylan asks her being friendly even if I can see the annoyance in his face from her interrupting us.

“
Not bad at all,” Jemma replies.

“
I kinda need to borrow Roxy for the night though,” Jemma says to him subtlety. Yes! Good job Jemma, always to the rescue. She must have heard that I was struggling…

“
What do you mean borrow?” Dylan asks her intensely.

“
Well I’ve got Tia coming to go to Syrotti’s for dinner. We are getting the food catered for my party next week and I need Roxy’s opinion on how it tastes,” she tells him conniving.

Great thinking Jemma.

“We could both come, is Dan going?” Dylan asks.

“
Nope sorry it’s just us women, so no boys allowed,” she jokes to him.

“
Please Dyl, when was the last time I had dinner with the girls?” I plead with him and I really fucking hate that I have to beg to be allowed out. But to avoid a fight and him stalking me later I am trying to remain civil and reasonable.

“
Well I guess dinner is cool with me ladies,” he answers but I can see the lump in his throat as he says it. I am so glad Jemma asked him, as I know he would have tried to persuade me to stay home.

“
I’ll just wait here for you babe,” he tells me sounding needy again.

Fucking hell, here we go again
. The song “Little Lies” by Fleetwood Mac springs to mind.

“
You really can’t think of anything better you could be doing than waiting here for me?” I ask him trying to get his brain working and for him to realise he is too reliant on me.

“
Well, I guess I could message Charles and see what he is doing?” he answers and it makes me wonder if he will actually do it or if he is just saying it to keep me happy.

“
Yes, do it Dylan. It’ll healthy for you to see your mates,” I say to him.

“
What time are you thinking of going ladies?” he queries Jemma for the details.