Gentlewoman: Etiquette for a Lady, From a Gentleman (17 page)

Beyond confidence, underneath the eyes and over many heads, a woman’s mystique is indefinable. It seduces, but doesn’t satisfy the human senses. You can’t hear it, see it, smell it, taste it or touch it, but you can feel it for damn sure. A woman’s presence is a force that forces the nervous system to respond. It evokes detailed reactions: Perspiration drips from those unprepared for its splendor. Confidence evaporates from the heat of her existence. Our once-so-sure self is faced with newfound uncertainty. Her sensation causes us to question everything we once knew to be true:

“Is my tie straight?” “Do I look OK?” “Does my breath stink?”

No shadow exists, but you can perceive it. The temperature in the room changes and you know it when it’s there. You know when a Lady has arrived!

She’s luxury. She’s simplicity. Her walk-away could win awards. Her walk your way could end a war. It’s powerful. It stirs emotion and generates confusion. No matter what you think about her, you’ll think about her. Those unwilling to accept her splendor settle for the type of envy that creates chaos and evokes fear. Meanwhile, she remains unbothered. Confidence courts her and she sleeps with peace of mind, but she’s not kissing and telling. Those afraid will call her a bitch. Those aware will call her a gentlewoman. She’s undeniable. She’ s sexy without thought or effort. She doesn’t try. She is.

We’ve attempted to apply suitable adjectives fit for your description. The injustice of each word fails miserably. A woman is made up of beautiful contrasts and clever contradictions. People try to slap a label on you and all that you do. I tried to capture your essence in this book, but your spirit is free. Your beauty can’t be contained. Simply put, you’re untitled.

Gentlewoman

Gentlewoman:
Class is Back in Session

Essentials for a Lady

God gave you an empty
canvas
and provided the paint and a brush. It’s up to you to fill your canvas with vivid colors, painting a captivating
picture
.

Power in Colors

-
Black
is classic, stylish and timeless. It’s the color of power. It’s dominant can drown out any of its predecessors. It’s the color of choice in fashion, and it appears to make one look thinner.

-
White
is elegant. It’s the color of purity and innocence. It’s light, neutral and goes with everything.

-
Red
is considered a power color that commands attention. It’s very passionate intense and sexy. It’s the color of love.

-
Blue
is a dominant yet peaceful color. It’s calming and represents peace and loyalty.

-
Green
is refreshing, relaxing and easy on the eye. It’s a favorable color in décor and represents masculinity and wealth.

-
Yellow
is a bold and sexy attention-getter. As the color of happiness and hope, it enhances concentration and focus. When paired with gray, magic happens!

-
Purple
is a regal color of kings and queens alike. It’s a color of honor and sophistication.

-
Brown
is a masculine color. As the color of oak, it’s reliable and genuine.

Each color unique in its own right, paired with the right combination, can create an unimaginable experience.

The beauty of the world lies in its diverse collection of cultures, experiences and differences. It’s essential for the gentlewoman to embrace these distinctive collections, thus providing the option to add to and enhance her own lifestyle. Possessing these pleasingly varied abilities makes you a well-rounded woman. That fine balance is beyond beautiful.

But balance isn’t an art form achieved from sunrise to sunset. It requires practice and consistency, like any new concept that the brain attempts to soak up and make a habit. This chapter provides a guiding principle in matters of artistic beauty and taste. Let’s considerately assume you know not a thing about anything. This approach will provide the basics that need to be in every woman’s possession—that is if you strive to be an appealing Lady of eclectic aesthetics, providing delight in appearance or manner. I’m speaking to the gentlewoman who strives to be confident, bold and timeless without thought.

“Intelligent people are always open to new ideas. In fact, they look for them.”
-Proverbs 18:15

MORNINGS.

You’re still here. You still have a purpose. Mornings are a beautiful reminder of that. Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, hear yourself breathe and say thank you. Focus and allow your joy to flow. Let your mind be at ease and get your clarity. Do this daily.

PREPARATION.

There’s an art to getting ready that requires comfort. For some, this is a ceremonial process. Let music accompany you on your journey or turn on some talk radio. What’s your soundtrack to getting ready? Grab your playlist and prepare to love on yourself. Wait, not like that. You know what I mean.

Prep-time: 1 - 3 hours for the average healthy Lady on an average day.

-
The Wardrobe:
Why is this first on the list? Because it cuts down on time and leaves room for what’s more important. Pick and prepare your clothes a day in advance. You can even select your wardrobe for the entire week at the start of the week. It’s no different than the selection process you go through when deciding which clothes to pack for a vacation. This method might pose a problem for the stylish gentlewoman who selects her clothing in the moment according to how she’s feeling. All others can attempt this format for time’s sake. Get to the point where getting dressed in the morning requires the least amount of thought in your day! Style is effortless.

-The Meal:
See
Shut Up & Train
chapter.

-The Exercise:
See
Shut Up & Train
chapter.

-The Hygiene:
If cleanliness is next to Godliness, then a toothbrush needs to be next to your mouth. I’ve enlisted the advice of “Turning Natural” CEO, Jerri Evans for further explanation:
The majority of us brush our teeth at least twice a day, however, hardly recognize that little warning label that says, “If swallowed contact poison control immediately.” First, why would you put anything in your mouth that requires you to contact a poison control center if ingested? No, one time of not properly rinsing your mouth out after brushing will send you to the hospital, but think about how many times in your life you have and will brush your teeth? Is that a risk you’re willing to take? Try natural toothpaste, something fluoride and chemical free like Neem Toothpaste, an excellent anti-bacterial component. Need a quick teeth whitener without the pricey dental bill or nasty chemical filled strips? Try baking soda and peroxide! It’s quick, natural and it works!

-
The Shower:
Some view the shower as a sanctuary; a sacred place to relax, release and get some necessary
me
time. Others see the shower as a place to quickly wash their rear and get on with their day. Whichever way you see it, go ahead and brush your teeth before you get in or bring the toothpaste/toothbrush in with you. Bad breath is bad etiquette. A refusal to scrape your tongue and chew some gum is a threat to society. You can’t be cute with bad breath. You and your breath should match. Be sure to wash in all places susceptible to odor. There’s nothing more useless than exiting a shower smelling the same way you entered.

-The Bathing:
Baths are traditionally synonymous with relaxation and pampering. A gentlewoman might slip off a silk slip and slip into a hot bath as her form disappears into foam. Wine and candles are likely to join her on the journey. Make sure a few glasses of water are readily available as well. Dehydration can occur rapidly. But don’t allow that to stress you out. Bathing is therapeutic. It relaxes your muscles, calms your mind, helps clear the system of toxins, provides moisture with added natural oils, stimulates circulation and clears your lymph system whilst you sit back, breath deeply and daydream. Visits to your bath can reduce visits to your doctor. Hot water in tubs assists in maintaining muscle position and equal tension on the skeletal system. Baths can also help reduce cramps and tension headaches. As exquisite as this all is, you’re going to need to stand up and rinse yourself off. Bathing is beautiful, but befouling.

-
The Makeup:
As men, we won’t understand everything you do and that’s OK. We’ll never understand why some of you shave your eyebrows off only to draw them immediately back on. Some of you look permanently surprised. Well, so are we. But we also understand that makeup is an art and there’s a method to the application.

I’ve enlisted the help of television news anchor and former makeup artist veteran Letisha Bereola to explain
what everyday women should know about makeup
:

Letisha Bereola

News Anchor | Reporter | Former Makeup Artist

There are a few misconceptions out there, but let’s tackle the “cake face” myth. I’d often find women who’d shy away from makeup because they didn’t want to look “fake” or appear to have on makeup. Well, it doesn’t have to look heavy! When your skin is moisturized, primed and ready for application, the makeup can help you achieve a healthy glow. Don’t let someone else’s bad makeup application scare you away from experimenting for yourself. You have control over what you use and how you use it.

What should every woman know about makeup?

It’s intended to highlight existing beauty, not make you beautiful. Makeup is supposed to bring out your best, even when you might not feel your best. You can highlight and conceal, add color or go nude. However you feel on any given day, makeup can help achieve the look to match your mood. Similar to your fashion and your hairstyle, your makeup allows you to try something new and fresh. It’s also a great tool for you to explore different looks on yourself. The best part is it comes right off if you’re not feeling it!

What should every woman have in her makeup bag?

A good mascara! Those days when you’re in a rush, hop in the car and take a peek into the rear view mirror – mascara will help tired eyes open right up. Pack a good gloss to touch up your lips after lunch. Also, throw in blot films or powder to help bring down shine after a long day.

What should be avoided?

Makeup is a very personal choice. Just avoid settling for less. If you haven’t found the perfect foundation, keep trying. Ask for samples until you find what you love. And avoid getting into a makeup rut. You’re beautiful in more than one shade of lipstick or eye shadow. Try new things! You’ll be surprised at where your curiosity will take you.

Makeup tips and tricks:

Keep your brows in shape. You’ll find it easier to apply eye makeup when that arch is just right. Also, learn how to contour and highlight your face. It’s a fun process to see how your face adapts to this simple technique.

What is some final advice?

I’m a big advocate of finding a makeup artist that you can trust. They’re in your local malls and boutiques waiting for women like you. It can take a few tries, but once you find one (or even two from different brands), the artist will help make your makeup journey fun and informative. A good artist keeps you up-to-date on the latest trends, helps you take care of your skin and introduces you to the latest products. For those big life moments, there’s nothing better than calling someone you can trust to help you look and feel your best!