Gena/Finn (20 page)
Authors: Kat Helgeson
Finn:
...is she always like this? or is this for my benefit?
Genevieve:
ha, like which part
joanne is not known for doing anything for other people's benefit, unless it benefits them to hear techno for
6 hours straight
Finn:
she doesn't shut up!
my god, I mean, I've seen some terrible roommates, but....
Genevieve:
you're lucky natalie's not here
you want to talk about not shutting up
Finn:
who the hell is Natalie?
Genevieve:
her best friend forever!!!!!!!!!
Finn:
oh boy I must have missed the PSA!
Genevieve:
did you miss the glowing note she left on her whiteboard
YOU CRAZY SLUT I LOVE YOUUUUU
now i know why everyone hated alanah
Finn:
a lot of people love crazy sluts
Genevieve:
i must hope so
Finn:
hush
Genevieve:
want to borrow my headphones?
Finn:
no, cause you need those
Genevieve:
i wonder if she knows we're messaging each other
Finn:
I wonder if she knows we're talking ABOUT HER
Genevieve:
you know she didn't even CARE when we didn't have internet?
Finn:
...that's kind of abnormal
Genevieve:
some kind of sorcery
Finn:
I bet she plays intramural sports, doesn't she
Genevieve:
crew
Finn:
the boat thing?
Genevieve:
yup
Finn:
people still DO that?
Genevieve:
she tried to get me to join and be cockswain or whatever
cockswains have to be little
that's my only value here so far
hey gena, you're short
Finn:
hahahahaha
COCKSWAIN
Genevieve:
you're twelve
Finn:
oh jesus she's staring at me
Genevieve:
NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS
Finn:
what's for dinner around here?
Genevieve:
you can check the diner menu online
Finn:
okay
hey, boeuf bourguignon
Genevieve:
sounds about right
Finn:
I have no idea what that is
want to go check it out?
Genevieve:
i can't
Finn:
why?
Genevieve:
i have four psych chapters to read
and i'm not even done with this write up
Finn:
you've been studying for three hours kid, you can take a break
Genevieve:
it doesn't work that way
they don't care how long it takes me
Sent at 5:50 PM on Thursday
Finn:
are you crying?
Genevieve:
i don't know
Finn:
oh kid...
you're taking a break. let's go take a walk or something. look at the city
Genevieve:
everyone else here is FINE, they go out every night and they come back all loud and they're acing everything, how the fuck did i even get in here someone must have thought i was still famous or some shit.
fuck, i'm sorry, i'm being an awful host
let me find you the train schedule and you can go to the art school and look at their galleries
Finn:
no, hey, that's not what I meant
I'm staying with you
Genevieve:
consider what you're saying
you just said you're staying with JOANNE
Finn:
fuck Joanne
Genevieve:
are you prepared to make that sacrifice
Finn:
yes
Genevieve:
i'm sorry. i'll take you somewhere tomorrow i promise
maybe i should skip all my classes
Finn:
I had no idea it was this bad
Genevieve:
yeah i'm gonna skip everything tomorrow.
Okay.
Finn:
that's what you want?
Genevieve:
i don't know
i can't go
i'm not ready
Finn:
don't do it because of me. I think you could use the break, personally, but you don't have to entertain me
we'll just stay here and relax and Joanne won't be here and you can talk it all out
Genevieve:
okay, but i have to do my psych280 paper too
but i can do that while we talk. Yeah.
Finn:
Evie, god, don't cry...
Genevieve:
i'm sorry i'll stop
god, i wish she'd leave.
oh look, here's natalie
Finn:
cuddle me. maybe we can scare Ìem off
Genevieve:
coming
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 2:03 AM
subject: I'm sorry
Hi. |
I really fucked up. |
I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I don't even know where to start. |
I'm sorry I came to Providence when things were bad between us instead of staying to try and fix it. |
I'm sorry I let myself get attached to someone else. You were right, it's not simple, we're not just friends and I feel horrible and I never ever fucking wanted to do that to you. I promise nothing happened between us, I don't even know if it's like that, but it's big and intense and all these feelings, I'm in love with this fucking girl, holy shit, Charlie, I love you so much and I'm so sorry. |
I'm sorry for not making you the center of my life every damn day. |
I'm sorry for moving to California without knowing whether I was taking you seriously or not, because you deserve better and I should know after three years and I do take you seriously. I don't know what I'm hiding from. I don't know what I'm waiting for. |
Please, please, please tell me you got this. |
Please tell me you don't hate me. |
Please tell me I haven't ruined everything. |
I love you. |
from: Charlie Thomas
to: Finn Bartlett
date: Friday, September 12 11:12 PM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
Are you still with her? |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date:
None. Saved to Drafts.
subject: RE: I'm sorry
Yeah. She's sleeping. I can't. |
I keep thinking of this time on |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 2:26 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
Yeah. She's sleeping. I can't. |
I keep thinking of junior year, when you decided to move to California and we didn't know if we were going to make it. I was so scared you'd meet someone else and fall in love and forget all about me. And you never did. You called every night, and you visited, and you were there for me all through senior year when classes were insane and I didn't have anybody. You were the best friend I could have asked for. |
You've always been the best everything I could ask for. |
I hate myself for coming out here. I feel so sick. All I can say in my defense is that I love you too. I've never forgotten that. I may be scared of the future, I may be pathetic and distant and unable to give you what you need, but I have never not loved you. |
from: Charlie Thomas
to: Finn Bartlett
date: Friday, September 12 11:32 PM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
I don't hate you. |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 2:33 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
Yeah?? |
from: Charlie Thomas
to: Finn Bartlett
date: Friday, September 12 11:35 PM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
I love you. |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 2:36 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
Oh my god, baby, I love you too. |
from: Charlie Thomas
to: Finn Bartlett
date: Friday, September 12 11:39 PM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
You just took off. I had to find out from a fucking text message. Did you even tell them at your work? |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 2:45 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
I've been burning sick days. It's really fucking terrifying, actually. I'm calling them every morning faking sick and hoping they don't |
tell me I need to get my ass back into the office or I'm fired. |
...This is really irresponsible. I don't know what's wrong with me. Things have been so nuts lately. Shit, I hope they're not mad. I hope you're not mad. I can't even look at myself. I can't even believe I'm this person. I have EVERYTHING anybody could want and I'm being SO SELFISH. How do you not hate me? |
I'm ruining everything. |
Tell me how to make this right. |
from: Charlie Thomas
to: Finn Bartlett
date: Friday, September 12 11:51 PM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
You know how. |
I'm not proud of myself for this, and the last thing I want is to keep you from making friends, but you said yourself that this wasn't just friendship. Ever since you went to Chicago, she's all you talk about. You're blowing off work. You're walking out on me. I don't know what happened there, and I don't know what's happening between you now, but whatever it is, it isn't “nothing.” |
I'm really not accusing you of anything but what you already admitted. You're too attached. There's no room for me when you're that tied to someone else. So I'm sorry, and I never wanted to put you in this situation, but you have to make a choice. |
Come home. Come home to work and to me and don't go back. Let me be your best friend, the way we were back in Iowa. If you can do that, we'll be all right. |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 2:56 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
Are you saying I can't talk to her anymore? |
She's lonely. She's my friend and she's alone and having a hell of a time adjusting to college. I can't just cut her loose. |
God, she's sleeping and she has no idea. This is really going to wreck her, I'm her only friend and she'll think I don't want her... |
from: Charlie Thomas
to: Finn Bartlett
date: Saturday, September 13 12:03 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
I can't tell you who you can and can't talk to, Finn. I'm not that guy. But I need you to keep your distance emotionally. You decide if you can do that and still be friends. |
And, I mean, you can choose her over me if that's really where you are. I didn't ask you to make a choice without knowing I might not be it. I just need you to be honest with me about where I stand. I love you, and I don't want to keep doing that if I'm always going to come second. |
God, I can't believe this is happening. |
I hope you come home. I really miss you, Finn, I miss us. |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date:
None. Saved to Drafts.
subject: RE: I'm sorry
I can't. I love her. She needs me. Don't make me choose. I don't want to |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date:
None. Saved to Drafts.
subject: RE: I'm sorry
You're being really unreasonable. There's nothing wrong with me having a |
from: Finn Bartlett
to: Charlie Thomas
date: Saturday, September 13 3:27 AM
subject: RE: I'm sorry
I miss us too. |
I'll be on a plane in the morning. |
Text with Evie
hi
hi
you forgot your sketchbook
here
that's okay
i'll bring it next time i see
you. we'll plan a trip
you can keep it
...why
it's just a thing
Sept 11, 10:22 am
is Charlie mad at you
no
mad at me?
he's not mad
Sept 11, 10:25 pm
i meant you
no, evie
we're not planning another
trip, huh
Sept 11, 10:26 pm
can you say something
Sept 11, 10:31 pm
I can't not love you too much
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
Sept 11, 10:36 pm
i can do better. don't go
you didn't do anything wrong.
It's my fault
Sept 11, 10:41 pm
my plane's boarding
will you text me when you
land?
Sept 11, 10:45 pm
Finn?
