Forever & an Engine (20 page)

‘Were you
like that with all your girls? Even Julie?’

‘Baby after
this afternoon, is talking about this really a good idea?’

‘I’m ok now
Gabe, you’re not like that with me. I’m just trying to understand you better.’

‘Yes I was
like that with them all, Julie to a lesser extent as I wanted to try having a
normal relationship, but yes,’ he nodded. ‘If they didn’t like it, I’d find
another that did, which believe it or not was pretty easy.’

‘I can
believe it, it’s kind of hot the way you were all aggressive, but I’m glad
you’re not like that with me all the time. Is it to do with your mum?’

‘What?’ He
answered quickly and I felt his body tense up below me.

‘The reason
you that you don’t like yourself very much? You said you keep imagining that
you could have prevented her accident which implies that you still feel guilty
about it.’ He hesitated to answer and I stroked his chest and kissed him over
the heart. It was a minute or two before he answered.

‘I guess
so,’ he whispered. It was as if he were admitting it to himself for the first
time and it had surprised him.

‘You
shouldn’t feel guilty Gabe, it wasn’t your fault. What happened was a tragic
accident and you have to stop blaming yourself. You
are
a nice person, I
love you don’t I? Julie loved you too, so does your dad.’

‘I know
that, I just don’t feel particularly worthy of being loved Mia. Until you I’ve
treated women pretty badly, like a convenience,’ he said with a heavy sigh. I looked
up at his sad eyes and put my fingers on his lips.

‘You were
scared of getting attached to someone again Gabe, like I was, but you’re very
worthy. Look how you treat me, you’re able to love me the way you do and not be
distant, closed off or so sexually aggressive. It shows that you do have a good
heart. You obviously just needed time to realise it.’

‘I needed
you. I don’t know what it is about you Mia, I just changed the second I saw you.
I wanted to be better for you, to be deserving of you.’ He cupped my chin and
kissed me tenderly and smiled as he looked down at me.

‘Me too
with you Gabe. Maybe we see a bit of ourselves in each other, we can both
relate to loss and hurt. You’re helping me and I’m helping you.’

‘You
are
helping me baby. I’m so happy with you, I love you so much.’ He grabbed his
phone and held it next to my ear and played me Bruno Mars “
If I knew
”. ‘You
need to substitute “I wish we were 17” for “I wish we were thirteen” as I
started so young, but it says what I feel Mia. I would’ve waited for you if I’d
known you were out there.’

‘I believe
you and I’m sorry about the way I reacted today. I really love you Gabe,’ I
whispered as some tears trickled down my face onto his chest.

‘I know, I
really love you too. You’re my forever and I’m your engine, never forget that
baby,’ he whispered back as he kissed me and held me tightly.

I moaned as I slowly woke up to
feel my body tingling. It took a moment to realise that I’d a tongue caressing
my nipple and a hand between my legs stroking me gently.

‘Mmmmm,’ I groaned.

‘Morning
baby, wake up, I need you,’ Gabe mumbled as his lips sucked just hard enough to
bring me around and to attention. He had pulled the duvet back and I was lying
on my back naked, with him leaning over me. I quickly glanced at the clock, it
was only 5.40 a.m.

‘You’re
violating a sleeping woman. There should be some rule about that,’ I sighed.

‘It’s only violating
if you don’t want me and you do, you told me so in your sleep and the wetness
coating my fingers confirms it, here try.’ He put his two fingers in my mouth
and I looked into his eyes as I sucked them, making him groan. ‘O god, it’s so
hot you doing that Mia.’

I sat up
and pushed him onto his back, straddled him and sank down onto his erection groaning
to feel him stretch me. I grabbed his hands and held them up above his head and
worked my hips and pelvis on him, bringing us both to a very quick climax and I
sighed happily as I got off him.

‘I need to
go and brush my teeth and sort the last of my toiletries, but when I return I
expect you to be hard for me Gabe. If you’re not, that was the last time we
were having sex for quite a while. If you
are
hard for me, I’d like you
to fuck me furiously to make up for all the sex we’re going to miss. So I really
need you to be hard for me again,
soon
. Do I make myself clear?’

‘Yes ma’am,’
he replied with an ecstatic grin on his face. I looked at his dick and saw it
twitching and smiled. God he’d got some stamina, he was better than any gym
work out. I left him and washed my hands and used some moist wipes to tidy
myself up and brushed my teeth and grouped my remaining items on the sink ready.

I checked
the clock, it was ten past six and I hoped I’d given him enough time, the
thought of not having sex again for days was unbearable. I opened the door to
the bedroom and he was grinning like a Cheshire cat with a solid erection that
he was grasping in his right fist.

‘Gabe,’ I
sighed. ‘That’s an amazing sight.’

‘Get over
here baby, right now, because I’m open for business,’ he growled. I jumped up
onto the bed with him and he was straight on me, hands and lips everywhere as I
mewled his name.

Forty minutes
later, we parted, panting and sweaty, our hair stuck to our heads, both
groaning.

‘God Gabe,
where do you get the energy? You’re unstoppable.’

‘You told
me to be baby, I like to please you. Did I?’ he asked as he turned his head to
look at me. It still amazed me that he seemed so insecure about whether he was
satisfying
me
sexually.

‘Many many
many
times. You never have to ask me that Gabe, you couldn’t be bad at sex if you
tried. I don’t think I can move, my legs are like jelly. Do you ever feel
resentful that I can come so many times in one session and you only get to the
once?’

‘No. You’ve
no idea what seeing you come does for me Mia. To know that I did that to you,
it’s almost better than coming myself. I love making you happy.’ He whispered
the last part and my stomach flipped. I rolled over into his side and held his
chin as I looked into his shining vivid blue eyes.

‘You do,
you make me happier than I ever thought possible Gabe Austin.’

‘God I love
you so much,’ he groaned as he pulled me down to meet his lips. We were rudely
interrupted by the alarm going off. ‘Damn it,’ he muttered with a heavy sigh. ‘We
need to get you cleaned up and ready.’ He squeezed me tightly in his arms and
nosed my hair before getting up and pulling me off the bed to follow him into
the shower. He leaned me back against the wall and angled the detachable head,
instructing me to part my legs as carefully cleaned me inside and out giving me
another climax in the process. We washed each other’s hair and soaped each
other down, rinsed off and stood in the pouring water looking at each other for
a minute and I felt a sudden wave of nausea.

‘Gabe?’

‘What?’ he
asked as he pushed his wet hair back off his face, his biceps flexing against
the torrent.

‘I feel
sick,’ I whispered. He pulled me into his arms and held my head against his
chest as the hot water pounded our skin.

‘I’m going
to be there ok? I’ll be at your side as soon as they bring you out of recovery
so you don’t need to worry. You’re going to be just fine Mia.’

‘How can
you be so sure?’ I asked, he’d sure changed his tune from being so worried on
Sunday, or was he just trying to be strong for me?

‘Because you
have to be baby. A fast engine’s no good without its hot Lamborghini body it
is?’ he teased. I laughed and he held me tighter before releasing me and
kissing my forehead and rubbing noses. ‘Come on we need to get you dry and dressed.’

I removed
my belly button piercing, my helix ear stud and looked down reluctantly at my
bangle.

‘Leave it
on Mia. You can give it to me there and I’ll give it straight back to you when
you come out ok?’

I nodded
and got dressed and pulled my long hair back into a low pony tail and packed
the last of my toiletries as Gabe sat on the bed and watched. I looked at him
and as we locked eyes I could suddenly see how obvious it was that he
was
trying to pretend he was fine, so I bit my lip and finished sorting out my bag
to stop myself from crying.

‘Can I have
your key?’ he asked. ‘I can come and get your mail and more clothes if you need
them during the week.’

‘Sure, help
yourself from the bowl in the hall. I better go and see if Lexi’s ready.’

‘I’ll go
down to the car with your cases and pull up at the front, don’t be long.’ He
kissed me and headed out as I went to knock on Lexi’s door. I poked my head
around and she was dressed but lying on the bed, looking pale, seriously
vampire pale.

‘Lexi
what’s wrong?’

‘Either
really bad morning sickness or it’s something I ate last night, I feel seriously
off.’

‘O god, go
back to bed, you don’t need to come.’

‘And leave
my best friend when she needs me? Forget it, let’s get moving.’

‘Tell me
all about the date.’

‘No, I’m
going to save it. Call it an incentive to make it through this safe and sound
and then I’ll tell you everything.’

‘
Lexi,
’
I chastised. ‘At least tell me good or bad, possible food poisoning excepted.’

‘Surprisingly
good,’ she grinned.

‘O Lexi, I’m
so excited. Are you going to see each other again?’

‘Mia Page,
you won’t break me. I’m saving it and we are going to have a proper girly chat
when you have had your op with alcohol, pizza, Ben & Jerrys
and
chocolate. How does that sound?’

‘You’re so
mean,’ I sighed. ‘I’ve waiting years for you to talk to me about a proper date
and to bring up my favourite food and drink when I can’t have any as well? Are
you trying to torture me?’

‘Sorry,
wasn’t thinking. Come on we need to move, where are your bags?’

‘Gabe’s
taken them down to the car. I’ll just grab my handbag. You all packed?’

‘And raring
to go, Cinema here I come. Shame we’ll miss movie night tonight.’

‘I know,’ I
sighed. I couldn’t remember the last time we’d missed a movie night, it was an
important tradition for us. Some stability in a world that had stripped much of
our stability away, Lexi’s in particular. ‘But for the next week we can have
movie night every night, or even in the day. How cool is that?’ I smiled and
she nodded. I grabbed my handbag and Lexi’s suitcase for her and we headed
downstairs and straight into Gabe’s waiting car and this time I insisted on her
sitting in the front.

We arrived
at the hospital at 7.45 a.m. fifteen minutes early and as we sat in Reception
my nerves started to get the better of me. I couldn’t believe I was having an
operation and mum had no idea. She was going to kill me when she found out,
assuming the op didn’t first. I rapped my fingers up and down on my knee while
I shook my foot and Gabe reached out and put his hand over mine to stop me and
kissed my forehead.

‘Mia Page?’

I looked up
to see a nurse smiling, I thought it was at me and realised she was smiling and
fluttering her eyelids at Gabe, which irritated me straightaway. She introduced
herself as Ann and walked us all to my room, handed me two gowns and a cap and
asked me to get unpacked and ready and she’d be back. She left after another
look at Gabe, but he was oblivious which made me feel a bit better about it. I
looked around surprised to see how big the room was. It was painted in peach
and cream with warm cream curtains, a wardrobe, dressing table and drawers with
a TV with DVD player. There were two hospital beds, one with a large grip
handle hanging over it and two large comfortable chairs.

‘Gabe, this
looks like a hotel. Why’s it got two beds? The other rooms I passed only had
one.’

‘You really
thought that I’d leave you alone in here tonight?’

‘But surely
that’s not allowed?’ I asked, looking at him surprised.

‘Officially
the room’s for young patients and a parent, so dad pulled some strings for me.’

‘Thank you.’
I flung my arms around him and nuzzled his neck, so touched that he’d done that
for me. ‘I was dreading spending the night without you.’

‘Gabe
that’s pretty cool of you,’ said Lexi smacking him on the back a couple of
times.

‘Lex you
really don’t look well,’ I observed as I released Gabe and looked at her.

‘I’ll be
fine Mia, take your toiletries in the bathroom and Gabe can help you get ready
and I’ll unpack your case in here.’

Gabe put my
case on the spare bed for her, then grabbed my toiletries case and took my hand
and led me to the en-suite. It was clean and functional with sink, toilet and
open wet room area. I stripped to my underwear and felt his hands grasp my
waist as he pulled me into him and buried his face in my shoulder and I felt
him sigh as his shoulders slumped.

‘I’m so
sorry, this must be hard for you,’ I whispered. I knew his mum hadn’t died
here, but all the same to be in a hospital, worrying about me must be killing
him.

‘You’ve no
idea Mia. I feel so sick.’

‘I don’t
think you should be here Gabe, I think you ought to wait at home and come back
when I’m awake.’ I kissed his hair and he straightened up and looked at me
surprised.

‘You don’t
want me here?’

‘I don’t
want you hurting, I know that you’re trying to be brave.’

‘I’m
hurting anyway Mia. No way I’m leaving you, I want to be here. I need to be
close to you.’ He tucked my hair behind my ear as he looked down at me. I
looked down and pulled off my bangle and put it in his fist and clenched his
hand around it.

‘You are
close to me. You look after this for me and you give it to me as soon as you
see me ok? I’ll want it back straightaway Gabe.’ He nodded and I unhooked my
bra and pulled on the two gowns, as I had for my scan, and wriggled out of my
knickers. I pulled him to me and softly kissed him with my lips, my tongue and my
heart, hands fisted in his soft blond hair. I needed to set aside my worries
for a while and to try to be strong for him. ‘Come on I need to check out this
super-duper reclining bed and pulley.’ I led him back into the bedroom and
jumped onto it and started fiddling with the controls giggling as I moved
different sections of it up and down. Lexi shook her head as she sat back in one
of the arm chairs and Gabe watched from the edge of the spare bed.

Ann returned
and ran some tests and put an identification bracelet on my wrist and ankle and
helped me with my green hair net. The anaesthetist came and talked me through
what he’d do and what pain medication I’d be on after and decided I didn’t need
any pre-meds as I seemed reasonably calm. I was trying to project that on the
outside for Gabe and Lexi’s benefit, but internally I was shaking and wished my
mum was here. Dr Wells arrived in her scrubs with her cap on and sat on the
edge of my bed as she talked me through what she was going to do and the risks
involved. I looked over at Gabe, he’d gone really pale and looked so scared, I
wished he’d listened to me and gone home. I smiled as Dr Wells told me that I’d
be taken down in a few minutes.

‘Ok let’s
do this Mia,’ said Lexi and she came and hugged me tighter than normal. ‘I’ll
see you soon ok? You’re going to be fine and at least you can eat after not
like when you had your wisdom teeth and overcrowding done.’

‘O god,’ I
laughed. ‘Do you remember how bad I was? My face swelled up so badly and you
made me worse by laughing at me and calling me chipmunk for the next two
weeks.’

‘Well you
did look like one with your little cheeks all puffed up it was hilarious,’ she
chuckled.

‘For
you
maybe, I had 24 stitches in my mouth and was black and blue, I couldn’t eat
properly for a few weeks,’ I protested. Mum had fed me bowl after bowl of homemade
liquidised chicken soup through a straw, until I’d turned green, sick to death
of the bloody stuff.