Forever & an Engine (22 page)

‘No, but I
like the idea of
you
in a sexy nurses uniform. By the way thanks to you I
had to lock myself in the bathroom to wait for my hard on to go down.’

‘You didn’t
relieve yourself?’

‘No, I was
too worried about you for it to happen.’

‘Thanks for
staying with me, I love you.’

‘Drink some
more water for me please Mia,’ he ordered. I sucked at the straw as I looked up
into his stunning eyes.

‘God you’re
so
good looking and I get to
fuck
you.’

‘Mia Page,’
he laughed. ‘I’m going to have to gag you. You’re very rude on drugs.’

‘Is that
why I feel all woozy and happy?’

‘Probably.
Are you in pain? If you are you need to press the button.’

‘No I’m
good, but my tummy feels really swollen.’ I reached down and ran my hand over
it. ‘Shit it’s HUGE what have they done to me? I’m fat,’ I gasped. He laughed
at me again.

‘I think
they pump you up with gas so they can see inside, it’ll go down don’t worry.’

‘I can’t
stay fat or you won’t find me sexy anymore.’

‘I’ll
always find you sexy baby. You look so pale, are you really feeling ok?’ he
asked as he put his hand on my forehead to check.

‘Wow you’re
like a hot doctor looking after me. A young hot sexy doctor. O my god you’re
McSteamy. I always liked McSteamy better than McDreamy, everyone loves McDreamy
but not me. McSteamy all the way. I was so sad when he died ... I cried.’

‘And you’re
like a hot sexually frustrated drugged up patient. I have no idea what you’re
talking about baby. Here drink some more water for me please,’ he asked. I
sipped some more and looked around the room.

‘Where’s
Lexi, she’d so get it. We both loved McSteamy in Greys. Where is she Gabe?’

‘She had to
pop out Mia.’

‘Pop out?
Where did she
pop
too?’ I giggled, finding the word “pop” very amusing
in my current condition. I watched him as he frowned and rubbed his hand over
his mouth and eyes. ‘Gabe, where’s Lexi? I’d like to see her.’

‘Mia I …’ he
looked up as there was a knock on the door. ‘Come in,’ he called and I looked
round and saw Dr Wells come in.

‘Hello Mia,
how are you feeling?’

‘I feel
very happy, thank you.’

‘She’s a
bit high on the drugs Dr Wells. How did it go?’

I looked at
Gabe and then back to Dr Wells and refocused my eyes as she sat carefully on
the side of the bed and put her hand gently over my fingers, being careful not
to touch the plastic cannula stuck in my right hand.

‘Ok Mia, it
went well. I managed to drain and remove the large endometrioma in both ovaries
…’

‘That’s
good, that’s good isn’t it?’ I interrupted.

‘Yes, but I’m
afraid we were right. You do have severe and extensive endometriosis. It was
far worse than I expected when I got in there, with many adhesions. I’ve done
my best to tidy up, but the scarring and damage to your fallopian tubes and
ovaries is too severe. It really was very advanced for someone of your age.’

‘What are
you saying Dr Wells?’ I heard Gabe ask as he tightened his grip on my hand.

‘I’m saying
that the disease has caused a lot of irreparable damage, and that it’s highly
unlikely that Mia will ever be able to conceive naturally. I’m so sorry Mia, I
know this is a lot of information to process, but we’ll get together again
tomorrow when you’ve had a chance to rest and I can answer any immediate
questions you may have. I’ll also make a follow up appointment to check how
you’re healing and we can discuss this in more detail, including what I can do
to help you manage the pain and try and prevent the condition from advancing
any further.’

‘Ok.’ It
was a lot to take in, but I just knew from her face it wasn’t what she was
hoping to have told me. I looked back at Gabe but he was looking at the floor
and I heard Dr Wells talking again.

‘Get some
rest Mia. One of the nurses will get you standing up and having a walk as soon
as possible. I’m very sorry I couldn’t give you more promising news. Once I see
you in the morning, I’ll decide if we can discharge you.’ She squeezed my
fingers and smiled kindly at me.

‘Dr Wells
please may I speak to you outside? I think it’s been a lot for Mia to take on
board, she’s still a bit groggy and I’ve a few questions.’

‘Of course.’

I looked
back at Gabe who quickly kissed my forehead and let go of my hand and walked
out of the room. I suddenly felt very tired and tearful, where had my happy
buzz suddenly gone? And where the bloody hell was Lexi? I tried to sit up and
yelped as I felt my stomach muscles scream at me, so I lay back down. I spotted
my phone on the bedside table and reached for it, smiling when I noticed my
bangle was back on my wrist. I had no messages and sighed and looked up as I
heard the door open and Gabe came in rubbing his face, he looked so sad.

‘Gabe are
you ok?’

‘You shouldn’t
have to be going through this Mia, it’s too much at 18. It’s not fucking fair.’
He sounded so angry.

‘Are you
cross with me?’

‘O god no,
not with you baby, just this whole horrible fucking situation.’ He leaned back
on the door and put his hands over his eyes.

‘I’m ok
Gabe, honestly I’m ok. Come here, come to me.’ I held out my hand and he sighed
and shook himself and sat on the edge of the bed taking my left hand as he frowned.

‘Mia have
you been lying to me? Dr Wells is amazed that you felt no pain during sex.’

‘I don’t
feel any … At least I don’t think I do, I don’t know Gabe. Is what I feel
normal? I’ve no idea. If it’s painful then god knows how much better it can get
if I’m out of pain, because it’s pretty
bloody
sensational as it is.’ I
saw a small smile flash across his face but it was soon replaced by his frown. ‘Gabe
I’m ok, don’t be so sad. I just have three small holes and a really REALLY
swollen tummy. I sure hope that goes down.’ I watched as his fingers reached
over gently stroking my stomach over the sheet.

‘God I hate
that you’ve had to go through this and to have your beautiful skin marked.’ He
leaned over and planted a delicate kiss on the sheet.

‘I think
scars are sexy,’ I whispered. ‘Will you be turned off by them?’

‘No of
course not Mia.’ He leaned down the bed and felt my toes, which were poking out
from the bottom of the sheet. ‘Your feet are cold baby.’ I watched as he
grabbed a spare blanket from the wardrobe and draped it over me and sat back on
the bed looking at me.

‘Gabe where’s
Lexi, I thought she’d be here.’

‘O Mia.’ He
sighed and took my hand and kissed it.

‘Gabe
what’s going on, something’s going on isn’t it?’ I suddenly felt sick, he was
hiding something from me, no way would Lexi not be here when I came around.

‘While you
were in surgery Lexi had some terrible stomach cramps. She went to the toilet
and shouted for me to call a nurse … ’ he stalled and looked down at my hand in
his.

‘O god
Gabe, is she ok? Where is she?’

‘She’s
going to be fine. I took her back to my house, she’s sleeping in one of the
spare rooms. Mia I’m so sorry, she’s had a miscarriage.’ I heard myself gasp
and pulled my hand out of his and put it over my mouth. ‘The nurse said she’ll
be fine Mia. She needs rest and could expect some bleeding for up to ten days.
She was fine, honestly, even joked about it saving her having to go through with
the abortion.’

‘Gabe she
needs
me. I told you to look after her, to stay with her, you promised me. You promised
me that you wouldn’t leave her, you shouldn’t be here with me.’ I felt tears
rolling down my face.

‘Mia, you’re
my girlfriend. This is exactly where I should be.’

‘I don’t
care. I need you to go and look after her,
please
Gabe. I know Lexi, she’ll
say she’s fine to you when she’s not. She’ll need a hug, someone to stroke her
hair and she loves a cup of tea with three sugars and some chocolate hobnobs to
dunk when she’s upset. Gabe please, she’ll be so scared all on her own.’

‘She’s not
alone Mia. She was so mad with me because I drove her home and sat with her
while you were still in surgery, so she insisted on ringing Doug. She told him everything
and he agreed to look after her so I could come back here and be with you ok?’ He
reached out and wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

‘She told
Doug?’

‘Yes.’

‘O no,
that’s going to ruin that for her now as well and I really thought she had a
chance with him.’

‘He’s ok,
he’s fine about it. He got an ex knocked up once and had to go through the
process with her so he’s not going to judge her or stop pursuing her for
another date, so you don’t need to worry about either of them ok. We just need
to focus on you baby.’

‘O god Gabe
it’s all too much in one day,’ I groaned. ‘Are you ok?’

‘I’m fine Mia,
I’m just worried about you,’ he sighed.

‘Now
you’re
lying to me,’ I said looking at his face. He looked seriously tired and beaten
down and I realised just how much he’d been through. Seeing me go into the
theatre and then having to go through a miscarriage, of all bloody things, with
my best friend. The memories that must have brought back for him made me
shudder. ‘Gabe, you can talk to me,’ I whispered.

‘I don’t
want to talk right now Mia, I just want to sit here with you baby.’

‘I’m so sorry
that you had to deal with that. Thank you for taking her home and making sure
she was safe, that must’ve been so awful for you,’ I said quietly as I stroked
his forearm. He smiled weakly at me and I choked up when I saw his eyes welling
up. He may be my confident bossy Gabe most of the time, but I kept forgetting
he was only a 19 year old boy under all the swagger. I quickly let go of his
hand and reclined the bed slightly, reached up and grabbed the pulley and
gasped in pain as I lifted my bottom and moved over to the right edge of the
bed.

‘Mia, what the
hell are you doing,’ he snapped as he stood up. I looked up at him, he was
upset, worried, frustrated and angry all rolled up into one package. Talk
definitely
wasn’t what he needed right now. I remember that he said his favourite
memory of his mum was when she held him and stroked his hair while she talked
to him to calm him down and right now that was exactly what he needed. He
needed me to hold him and tell him it would all be ok, but he’d never ask me to
that, not when he’d assumed his male protector mode.

‘I need you
to climb on the bed with me.’

‘
Mia.
’

‘Gabe
please, I need you.’ I pleaded. It wasn’t a lie, I’d love to have him cuddle up
to me, but he needed it more than I did. ‘Come and lie here with me.’

‘I don’t
want to hurt you Mia.’

‘Gabe I’ll
be fine, just climb on gently and lie on your side and hold me,
please
.’
I pulled out my best blue eyes pout, looking up at him through my lashes. His
face was torn, torn between his need to protect me and his need for some comfort.
I definitely needed to make him think it was all about me, not him. ‘Gabe
Austin I won’t tell you again, get on this bloody bed now.’ I held out my arm
and gave him a
don’t fuck with me look
. ‘I’ve just had surgery and I really
want a cuddle from my boyfriend, come and make me feel better.’

‘You’re one
stubborn bloody woman Mia Page,’ he sighed and slipped off his shoes and
carefully lay down, my arm in the crook of his neck and he put his head on my
shoulder and nuzzled my breast. I stroked his back and kissed his hair and he carefully
put his arm over my ribs and slid his fingers into mine careful not to push the
cannula in the back of my right hand.

‘That feels
so nice,’ I murmured into his hair as I moved my free hand up to caress the
silky strands between my fingers. ‘You’ve been so busy looking after everyone
else today. Now you can rest Gabe.’

‘Mia ... ’
I heard his voice catch.

‘Gabe, I’m
ok, Lexi will be ok too, thank you for looking after her so well for me.’

‘I was so
scared Mia. Seeing you leave me, then with Lexi … it was just too much.’

‘I know
that, but it’s all over now. I love you so much for being so brave and strong
Gabe Austin, but now it’s your turn to be taken care of. It’s time for me to
look after you, even if it’s only for a little while. Close your eyes for me
baby, everything’s going to be ok.’ I felt him bury his face into the side of
my breast and he started to sob and I bit my lip really hard to stop myself
from crying in sympathy. I was going to have to think of a way of making it up
to him when I got out of here. I held him as tightly as I could while I rambled
on about what movies I wanted to watch while I was off, anything to keep me
talking as it really did seem to soothe him. We lay there for about twenty
minutes while he got it all out. There was a knock at the door and Ann put her
head in. I looked at her and shook my head, she hesitated for a moment, looking
at Gabe buried in my side, then closed it again leaving us alone.