Forever & an Engine (23 page)

‘I’ve got
you Gabe, it’s ok baby,’ I whispered.

‘Don’t ever
leave me Mia,’ he mumbled as he caught his breath and rubbed his nose up and
down my breast.

‘Like I
could go anywhere. I’m full of holes, have an IV in, I’m bloated like pot bellied
pig with a very irritating blood pressure cuff that keeps inflating and cutting
off the circulation in my arm. Besides, how would I get anywhere without my
motor?’ I felt him laugh. ‘Gabe as soon as I’m better I’m going to show you just
how grateful I am for what you’ve done for Lexi and I today.’

‘Then we
better pay close attention to what the Dr Wells has to say about your recovery,
as I’m going to want to road test you as soon as possible, anything in the name
of a speedy recovery.’

‘You’re so
selfless thinking of my welfare like that,’ I grinned as he lifted his face up
to look at me. I tried to conceal the effect his tear soaked cheeks had on me.
I could imagine him as an 8 year old standing there with that very look on his
face as he was told what happened to his mum and it was like ice had pierced my
heart.

‘You must
think I’m such a fucking girl crying on you,’ he said as he wiped his eyes.

‘I love
that you feel you can, I feel closer to you when you share your emotions with
me, happy, sad or even really, really mad like yesterday. I’ll take you any way
I can get you Gabe.’

‘Ditto.’

‘So fancy
snogging and petting me for a while? My boobs aren’t off limits.’

‘You’re so funny
on drugs,’ he laughed and tilted his head back and I leaned mine down over him
and we kissed gently, then more urgently until I gasped and pulled away. ‘Mia
what?’

‘You kiss
too well and
owwww
, I can’t go there yet.’ Just his kiss had my core
clenching and it was too painful.

‘Well I’ve got
another bloody hard on, you need to stop doing this to me while I can’t touch
you,’ he grumbled.

‘Go and
sort yourself out in the bathroom, but keep the noise down as I need to call
the nurse,’ I ordered. He got off the bed and I smacked his bottom and giggled
as he jumped.

‘You are
feeling better trying to boss me around and smacking me,’ he smiled as he shut
the bathroom door. I rang the buzzer and Ann appeared in seconds.

‘Hi, sorry
about before, it’s just been a lot for him with my friend and I. Was it you who
helped her?’

‘Yes,’ she
smiled.

‘Thanks so
much. Will she be ok?’

‘Yes, she
was just a bit shocked at first, but dealt with it really well. She may need a
shoulder to cry on over the next few weeks, as you might. Don’t under estimate
the effects of the anaesthetic, drugs and your procedure. How are you feeling?’

‘Better,’ I
nodded. ‘Hungry in fact. No, not hungry, starving.’

‘Right well
I came to tell you afternoon tea was ready. Would your boyfriend like some? He
didn’t touch his lunch.’

‘Yes please.
If we could have some black coffee for him as well, that would be great.’

She checked
my blood pressure and oxygen readings and I kept praying that Gabe wouldn’t
make a noise in the bathroom. Once she was done she carefully manoeuvred the
sliding table over my stomach.

‘I’ll be
back in a minute with your tray.’

‘Thanks.’ I
grabbed my phone and rang Lexi’s number and it went to voicemail.

‘Lexi it’s
me, Gabe’s just filled me in. I’m so sorry, I feel awful that I’m not there with
you. Please call me as soon as you get this, I need to know you’re ok. I love
you, call me please.’

‘Gabe are
you ok in there?’ I called.

‘No, it’s
not happening and he’s not going down.’

‘What?’ I
asked, surprised.

‘I know, I just
can’t do it. It’s just not happening and I can’t seem to get him to go down.’ He
appeared from the bathroom buttoning up his jeans with his erection jutting out
through the material.

‘Is that
normal?’

‘No. Until
today I’ve never not been able to finish myself off. I just can’t concentrate
when I’m alone in a clinical bathroom and every visual I conjure up of you has
you full of tubes and holes.’

‘Well you
need to do something. Ann’s coming back with some food for us. She already has
designs on you without seeing that huge bulge in your pants.’

‘What am I
supposed to do Mia?’ he sighed frustrated.

‘You’ll
have to go back into the toilet when she comes in.’

‘She’s
going to think I’m fucking incontinent the amount of time I’m spending in there
today.’

‘O so you
suddenly care what she thinks now do you?’ I snapped.

‘O shit, I
didn’t mean it like that Mia,’ he gasped as his face fell. ‘I promise baby, I
don’t like her.’

I burst out
laughing. ‘You should have seen your face then, it was classic.’

‘Mia that’s
not funny,’ he frowned.

‘Kind of
was,’ I giggled. I felt all over the place, I was crying a while ago and now I
was all high and giggly. There was a knock at the door and I looked at him and
he shook his head and went back in the bathroom. ‘Come in,’ I called.

‘Here you are,’
she said depositing a large tray on my table. ‘Are you ok for water?’

‘Yes thanks.’

‘Ok, well I’ll
leave you in peace and see you tomorrow. Agnes is due on duty at six and will get
you up and moving, so enjoy some peace and quiet for a while.’

‘Thanks.’ I
looked at the tray in front of me. Wow, it was like luxury hotel room service.
Bone china and silver cutlery, with silver tea and coffee pots and domes over
the plates. Gabe reappeared checking it was safe first.

‘Excellent,
is that food? I’m starving all of a sudden.’

‘I bet, did
you have any breakfast or lunch?’

‘No.’

‘You’re spending
too much time with me Gabe, you’re picking up my bad habits. So food or
erection first?’

‘What?’ he
looked at me with his eyes wide.

‘I’m still
able handed, on one side at least, I can help you out.’

‘Mia I’m
not taking advantage when you’ve just come out of surgery.’

‘Gabe I
think you need some tension release. We have some time alone so come here.’ I
pushed the table back and raised my eyebrows at him.

‘Mia, you’re
not bloody touching me,’ he said with a scowl. ‘What sort of boyfriend would I
be to let you give me a hand job when you’re lying in a hospital bed and
drugged up?’

‘Gabe you’re
frustrated I can see it. If you won’t let me touch you, then try yourself again.’

‘It’s no
good baby, I’m just not feeling it.’

‘Then close
your eyes and I’ll talk sexily to you while you do it. You’re going to implode.’
He sighed and unbuttoned his jeans and set himself loose. It was very erotic to
see him so hard in his own hand and I let out a little groan, which finally put
a smile on his face. ‘Ok forget where we are, close your eyes and just listen
to my voice. Good … now imagine we’re in a hotel bar, we’re two strangers. You’ve
just walked in and seen me sitting alone in a very slutty dress. You sidle over
to chat me up, we flirt outrageously and you take me back to your room. You
want to fuck me so badly, but I tease you first. I slip off my dress and stand
in my Basque, stockings and suspenders and push you back against the door,
kissing you, slipping my tongue into your mouth.’

‘O god baby,
tell me more,’ he sighed. I watched fascinated as he tightened his grip on
himself as he stroked.

‘I’m
kissing you and our hands are all over each other, you’re so desperate to fuck me,
but I want to take you in my hand first, so I slide it down into your waistband
and grip you hard. I keep stroking you again and again until you pull me off
you, throw me on the bed, rip off my knickers and …’

‘Miaaaa,’
his hand closed tightly over himself as he shuddered and opened his eyes to
look at me.

‘Wow I’m
good, I thought that would take longer, I had a whole kinky bondage story to
play out,’ I smiled and he laughed.

‘You’re
amazing Mia, just hearing and imaging you was enough.’ He disappeared into the
bathroom and I heard him running the tap.

‘Do you
feel better now?’ I called.

‘God yes
and I’m liking that little hotel and bondage scenario. We may have to play that
out one day.’

‘Pervert.’

‘You came
up with it. Are we eating or what? I suddenly have a ravenous appetite for food,’
he said as he came back in and kissed me gently then tugged on my lower lip as
he looked at me, full of love and I returned the gaze with equal intensity. He
already looked better and more relaxed.

He
uncovered the plates and we had four slices of what would’ve been hot buttered
toast, but was now just warm, but there were also some little mini muffins and
French custard pastries. He handed me some toast which I happily chewed on as
he poured us both a coffee. I made him come and sit on the bed with me and he
put his arm around my shoulder and broke up the cakes and fed alternate pieces
to me. I felt better for eating. There was another knock at the door and a new,
much older nurse came in. Gabe kissed my temple and got off the bed as she
pulled the table out of the way.

‘Hi Mia,
I’m Agnes and I’m on duty now until tomorrow morning. How are you feeling?’

‘Ok, a bit
tired and I’m up and down, emotionally.’

‘Well
that’s to be expected,’ she smiled. ‘I’m going to take you off the morphine
drip, remove your cannula and put a plaster on the puncture mark. It may sting
a little.’

I felt it
slide out and winced and watched her put a dressing over the top. Much to
Gabe’s chagrin she insisted he wait outside while she checked my stomach dressings
and he left with a scowl which made me giggle. He really didn’t like being told
what to do, especially by women. I was mortified to discover blood all over my
gown and the bottom sheet, but she assured me it was normal and I was likely to
bleed for a couple of days. I was grateful she’d sent him out, I’d have hated
him to see me like this, let alone that he’d already been through enough today.
With the pulley and her help I managed to get out of the bed, feeling
incredibly stiff and tight in the torso. I held her hand and walked gingerly to
the toilet and she helped lower me down to sit on it.

‘I’m going
to strip your bed and will be back in a minute with some fresh sheets and
sanitary towels, then we’ll get you out of that gown and cleaned up.’ She disappeared
and I heard the rustle of the bedding and the then the outer door shut and just
as suddenly re-open as I heard Gabe shout.

‘Mia what’s
wrong? There was blood all over the sheets.’

‘Gabe
no
,
don’t come in,’ I cried. It was too late, he stood in the bathroom staring at
me in horror, as I sat there in my gowns with bright red blood all over them. I
covered my eyes with my hands. ‘It’s fine, I’m fine, apparently it’s normal to
have some bleeding, but I don’t want you to see me like this, please go out.’

‘Mia I love
you, I don’t care.’

‘
I
care. Please go in the bedroom and wait. If you can get my Westhampton Uni t-shirt
out of the drawer and a pair of my black knickers and give them to Agnes when
she gets back in that would be great.’ I looked through my fingers to see him
looking at me still. ‘
GABE
.’

‘Mia, why
you? Why did this have to happen to you?’ He crouched at my side took my hand
and kissed it. ‘You don’t deserve this baby.’

‘Do you
ever do as you’re told?’ I sighed.

‘When I
want to. You should never feel like you have to hide any side of yourself from
me Mia. When I saw the sheets … god I thought something was seriously wrong.’

‘Gabe, you really
don’t need all this shit a few weeks into a relationship,’ I sighed. I was
terrified of him walking away, this was a lot for anyone to deal with.

‘I need
you
baby. I’d rather take a day of shit with you, than have a hundred normal days
with anyone else,’ he smiled as he kissed my hand.

‘Urghhhh. You’re
so infuriatingly romantic and when I’m sitting here looking like this. How do
you do it?’

He just smiled,
stood up and kissed the top of my head went into the bedroom. I heard Agnes
return and she came in and closed the door armed with a bag of sanitary towels,
some moist wipes and my clothes and helped me out of the gowns. She looked away
as I cleaned myself up and helped me pull on my t-shirt and pulled my knickers
up to my knees for me before handing me a product.

‘Right, try
and have a walk about with your boyfriend to support you, then back to bed.’

I smiled as
she left and stuck on the towel and sighed. I’d not used one of these since my
first few periods at aged 12, I hated the bloody things. I gripped onto the
grab rail and carefully stood up. The actual getting up or sitting down seemed
to hurt the most, the lying, standing and walking was ok. I carefully shuffled
my pants up over the two lower dressings, glad I’d chosen low line knickers to
avoid cutting across the naval incision. I pulled down my t-shirt and walked
over to the mirror. I looked seriously pale and tired. Gabe knocked and came
in.