Forever & an Engine (16 page)

‘What else did
she say Mia?’

‘Nothing
Gabe.’ The visuals were now accompanied by sound. I could hear them panting and
the groan she must have made as he sank into her, his large erection stretching
her, just like he did to me.

‘She
obviously fucking did if you won’t even look at me,’ he barked and I tensed up,
he’d gone back into angry mode.

‘Can we
just go to English? I want to get there early to talk to Mr Jenkins and I really
don’t want to fight.’ I turned and started walking and heard him mutter
something before he strode in front of me, grabbing my shoulders.

‘Mia who’s
fighting? I just want you to look at me and tell me what she said to upset you?’

‘Gabe
please I can’t talk about this. Just leave it.’ I tried to move and he gripped
me harder. I could hear her screaming his name as she climaxed.

‘No,’ he
snapped.

‘Gabe let
me go,
please
.’ I saw the sweat on his brow as he moaned her name.

‘
No
,’
he hissed angrily.

‘Gabe I
mean it,’ I spat as I got the visual of his face, the face he had when he was
coming with me, how he screwed it up and then relaxed it as he unloaded, how
his eyes went all soft and glassy as he basked in the after effects of
releasing his load.

‘So do I,’
he twisted me around and pinned me up against the wall and pulled my chin up to
force me to look at him. I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip.

‘Mia please,
what’s wrong? I know something’s wrong. Talk to me.’

‘I can’t
look at you Gabe, I’m having visuals of you fucking her and it’s too much, it just
hurts too much to look at you right now.’ He released me and stepped back from
me suddenly and I lowered my head and opened my eyes to look at the laces on my
trainers. I felt a torrent of emotions wash through me and felt like I was
about to cry.

‘She told
you about
sex
? About sex with me? Mia I promise you it was nothing,
nothing like I have with you.’

‘She didn’t
say anything, other than she was just a fuck to you if that’s what you’re
worried about.’ I couldn’t bear it, that soft face he had after his orgasm, I
thought he was mine in that moment, that
I’d
done that to him and that he
belonged to me. Then I realised that so did all of them, Julie and all the hundreds
of other girls that had come before me, all those girls he’d fucked. I suddenly
felt physically sick.

‘I don’t
give a shit what she said Mia because it meant nothing to
me
,’ he snapped.
‘I care that you’re upset, because I know how I felt when Kai told me what the
two of you had done.’

‘But that wasn’t
true Gabe was it? It was all lies. I never slept with him, but you did with
her
,
you did with all of them,’ I hissed. I didn’t want to hate him, but right now
in this precise moment I did. ‘I can’t do this Gabe, leave me alone, please
just leave me alone, I don’t want you near me.’ I shoved him and ran, just like
Julie did, away from him. It felt like a knife twisting in my stomach, the more
I tried not to think about it, the more I could see. His hands running over her
body, him kissing her lips, her breasts, her ...
everywhere
. It was
easier to ignore all of the others as they were faceless, but not her and as
long as he kept swimming I was going to have to deal with her being in our
lives for another three years.

I ran down
the corridors and past the door to English and found myself in the bathroom as
I started to cry. I shut myself in the corner cubicle, fell to my knees and was
sick in the bowl. I flushed the chain and flopped down on the floor my back against
the wall, not caring about the dirt or germs as I sobbed harder and harder and tried
to let it all out. I felt so angry, but more at myself for reacting this way. I
knew he had a past and it wasn’t his fault, but I felt like I needed to punish
him for it, to make myself feel better. Even though I knew he loved me, I
wanted him to feel a bit of the pain I was suddenly feeling. Maybe if I’d had
an ex I’d been sexual with I could have handled his past, but as he was my only
it really suddenly stung that I wasn’t his. I pulled my knees up and buried my
face in them and sat there my head spinning. I could hear my phone vibrating in
my bag every couple of minutes, but I couldn’t get it. I just needed to calm
down in my own time and try and let this jealousy over his previous women go. I
stiffened as I heard the bathroom door open and heard his voice.

‘Mia, I
know you’re in there, please come out,’ he said softly. I couldn’t answer, part
of me couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him, it was too soon, and yet part of
me just needed his arms around me to remind me that I had him now, that he was
mine, not theirs anymore. ‘Mia I can hear you crying. It’s killing me, please
come out.’

‘No, I
can’t do this right now Gabe.’

‘Then when?
The longer we leave it the harder it will be.’

‘I just
need some time.’

‘I can’t
give you that baby, it’s not going to help. You knew I had a past. Why are you suddenly
upset about it now?’

‘I thought
they were all just flings Gabe, but Julie … She was your girlfriend, a proper
girlfriend like me. Did you groan her name like you do mine? Did you call her
baby too?’ My body was wracked with a sob at the thought of it.

‘Mia, I
really don’t want to have this conversation when I’m standing out here. Come
out
right
now,’ he said sharply. He’d returned back to angry mode.

‘No,’ I bit
back.

‘Bloody
hell. You’re so
fucking
stubborn. Fine I’m coming in.’

‘You wouldn’t
dare,’ but as the words left my lips I knew he would.

‘Try me,’ he
hissed. I heard the door slam shut and saw his sneakers appear under my door.

‘I’m not
letting you in,’ I exclaimed.

‘Don’t need
you to,’ he laughed. I watched his converses move into the cubicle next door
then vanish as the partition wall started to shake. Suddenly his feet appeared
on the toilet bowl then dropped to the floor next to me. I quickly buried my face
in my knees again. ‘Jesus Mia, you’re sitting on the bloody floor of a public
toilet,’ he said gently and I felt his hand stroke my head.

‘Don’t,
please don’t touch me,’ I sobbed. He stopped and I heard his phone beeping and
his voice, his soft
sexy
voice.

‘Yes ... in
the toilets … Pretty upset … No I don’t think that would be a good idea … Yes I
will … You’ll sort everything out? ... Great thanks Lexi.’ I heard him let out
a gentle sigh. ‘Mia, Lexi’s going to get everything sorted for you for this
week. So right now, I don’t care what you think, or how much you protest, we’re
dealing with this. Am I clear?’

‘Yes,’ I mumbled
into my knees, I was trapped now, there was no way he was going to let me go.

‘Good. So I
can either sit in this skanky toilet with you until you can talk to me about it,
or you can let me pick you up, take you home, get you changed and you can talk
to me there. Which way are we doing this Mia?’ He sounded gentle, yet forceful
at the same time. I knew I needed to talk to him, to look at him, but I just
couldn’t make the first move.

‘Ok as you
won’t answer I’m choosing for you, I’m going to pick you up, give you a hug and
then I’m taking you home.’

I suddenly
felt his strong arms hitch under my legs and around my waist and he hoisted me
up into his arms, sat back on the toilet seat and held me to him tightly. As I
lay there wrapped up in his arms, my cheek against his firm chest, I inhaled
his scent and the vision of him with Julie was suddenly replaced by him looking
into my eyes in front of the fire at his house on Friday. I took a deep breath
and tried to focus on that memory of him, of him making love to me so intently,
on what I’d seen in eyes that night. He loved
me
now, he’d told me,
shown me, so many times. I had to find a way to let this sudden burst of
jealousy go.

‘Baby I
feel like I just lost part of you,’ he whispered.

‘I’m sorry,’
I whispered as tilted my head up and kissed his throat. ‘I’m sorry, I love you
Gabe, I love you.’ I pulled up in his arms and kissed along his jaw.

‘Mia no
don’t,’ he sighed as he closed his eyes. I clutched his hair and started
kissing him. He kept trying to resist, but I pushed my tongue into his mouth, I
need to taste him, to wash away everyone else and reclaim him as mine. ‘Mia
stop,’ he mumbled through mouthfuls of me. He slid his arm out from under my
knees and tried to gently pull me off him, but I twisted, straddling him and
pushed up close feeling his erection between my legs. I grabbed his hand and
put it on my breast as I lashed at his tongue with mine. For a minute I thought
I he was going to stay strong, that he was going to rip me off him, but I heard
him make a low sexual growl in the back of his throat. Suddenly his fingers tightened
around my breast as he pushed the other hand up my top to hold my back, his
hand on my bare skin was like a strike of lightening.

‘I need you
Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘Fuck me and get rid of these visuals I’m having, please. You
tell me it’s different with me, but right now I need you to show me it’s only me
you want, to let me feel that it’s only me you love,’ I begged.

‘It
is
only you, it’ll always be you Mia, you drive me fucking insane,’ he growled,
with such lust in his voice I quivered. He picked me up and slammed me back
against the door and I gasped at the force of it. He quickly undid the button
on my jeans, unzipping them before crouching and yanking them down along with
my knickers in one fast move, then he was back on my mouth kissing me furiously
as he undid the buttons on his own jeans and tore himself out of his boxers. He
yanked my thighs apart, my ankles still locked together by my jeans and
underwear and thrust upwards into me with such force, I had to reach up and
grip the top of the stall door.

‘
Gabe,
’
I let out a groan of ecstasy to feel him inside me again, to feel his passion
and need for me in every forceful stroke. The door was shaking and rattling as
he rammed into me over and over again, grunting wildly with every thrust. I
suddenly heard giggling and realised we weren’t alone and tensed up.

‘Holy shit
someone’s having sex in here,’ I heard a voice whisper.

‘Looks like
bloody good sex the way that door’s shaking,’ another voice whispered back.

I tried to
whisper in Gabe’s ear, but nothing was stopping him, he was focussed on nothing
else but wild frenzied sex. Despite my best efforts to stay quiet, I cried out
as he lifted up my top, forced a breast out over the lace cup of my bra and
greedily sucked and bit on my nipple. His hips circled and he brushed over my
clit and g-spot with meticulous precision. He knew exactly how to work my body
to get the reaction he wanted.

‘Sounds
like good sex too. Come on let’s leave the lucky buggers too it.’ I heard the
door close and climaxed immediately, my body shaking.

‘
Gabe
,’
I cried as I pulsated around him. His lips left my breast and found my mouth
and he kissed me viciously, bruising my lips, as he continued his onslaught and
I found myself climaxing again, it was too much so soon after the first and my
body went rigid and I let out a sob. He groaned and moved his lips to my ear
and whispered between thrusts.

‘It is you …
only … you Mia … I… love
you
.’

I felt him
spurt and as his thrusts slowed, I released my grip from the top of the door
and put my arms around his neck and buried my face in it as he panted on mine.
We stayed like that for a few minutes just catching our breath and suddenly he
pulled out of me and stepped back, tucking himself back into his boxers and
buttoned up his jeans, his face flushed. I had to palm the door to keep myself
upright, my legs were still shaking.

‘Fuck Mia,’
he spat. ‘We’re in a
public
loo for christ’s sake. I’ve got no fucking
control when I’m around you. What if someone had walked in?’ I raised my
eyebrows and bit my lip and looked at the floor. ‘
Fuck
. Someone came in?’

I wilted
under the glare he gave me. ‘Yes, but they left again, really quickly,’ I said
sheepishly.

‘Mia,’ he
roared, spearing me with a furious look. ‘We could get charged. Are you sure? I
didn’t hear anyone.’

‘You were
kind of engrossed at the time,’ I said putting my breast back in my bra and
smoothing my jumper back down. He crouched down and yanked up my knickers and
jeans, doing them up for me quickly before looking at me angrily.

‘Yes and
whose bloody fault was that? You’ve tricked me by using bloody sex as a way of
not talking,
again
. We’ll deal with that later, right now we need to get
out, before someone calls security, if they haven’t already.’

‘We
virtually had sex in the toilet at Fazeleys.’

‘It was
locked Mia, no risk of someone coming in. Move please.’

He picked
up our bags and pulled me away from the door and slowly opened it to look, then
dragged me out by the hand before checking the outer door and hurrying me out
to the corridor. There was hardly anyone about and no one seemed to notice us
leaving the ladies together. He pulled me along by the hand in silence,
occasionally looking at me with complete frustration on his face, I had to
virtually trot to keep up with him. He led me off campus and down a few streets
before going into a small private car park and unlocking his car. He pulled me
around to the passenger side and opened the door.