Forbidden (3 page)

“You’re the last person I’d ever try to impress,” she said, practically spitting the words. “You’re a… a…”

“What, Indie? What exactly do you think I am?”

“A user.”

A user? That was an accurate description of him a long time ago, but he thought—or at least hoped—he’d risen above that. “I won’t deny I’ve hurt a lot of good people, but I’ve done my best to make amends.” When she didn’t appear to soften at his admission, Lee felt his anger rising. Would he forever be branded a loser, even by those who hadn’t known him when he’d earned the reputation? “Nothing I say is going to make a damn bit of difference to you, is it?”

“No.”

Before Lee could argue, his brother stepped outside. “Hey, I saw you from the window,” Drake said to Lee. “Who’re you—” He stopped when he saw Indie. “Honey, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, excuse me,” she said, brushing past him and practically sprinting to the elevator.

“What the hell was that about?” Drake asked, turning on his brother.

“Be damned if I know.” Lee slipped into the blazer Indie had refused, unable to get her tortured expression out of his head. He knew that look in her eyes. He’d seen it too many times in addicts and pushers. Whatever or whoever had hurt Indie had clearly left her ravaged. He hoped she had someone to confide in.

“I know she was angry about me offering—” Drake reached for the door handle. “Let’s head inside. It’s getting cold out here.”

“Not until you finish what you were saying. Indie was pissed because you offered me a job, wasn’t she?”

“This is my company,” Drake said, with a stubborn set to his chiseled jaw. “No one, not even Indie, is going to tell me how to run it. If I want to offer you a job, I damn well will.”

“Look, I don’t want to cause any trouble for you or her.” Lee couldn’t explain why he felt the need to protect Indie. Perhaps because she reminded him so much of the girls who routinely stood up in their NA meetings, telling horrific stories of abandonment and abuse.

“She’ll get used to the idea,” Drake said, ushering Lee inside. “She’s a real sweetheart once you get to know her. You should see her with the kids. She’s amazing.”

When they stepped on the elevator, Lee asked, “She married? Got any kids of her own?”

“No.” Drake gave him a sidelong glance as he pushed the button for the second floor. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

“I meant what I said last night, man. I don’t want you dating any of my employees. I’ve got a strict policy about that. Those are headaches I just don’t need.”

“Who said anything about dating the woman? In case you haven’t noticed, she can’t even stand to be in the same room with me.”

“What’d you do to piss her off anyway?” Drake asked as they stepped off the elevator. “And don’t say ‘nothing’. Indie has a chip on her shoulder, but she doesn’t hate people for no good reason.”

“She said something about me being a user,” Lee muttered, feeling shame wash through him. Sometimes he would go days without thinking about the things he’d done, the lives he’d destroyed, but then someone would say something that would trigger his feelings of regret.

“A user? As in drug user?”

Lee hadn’t considered the possibility she might have been referring to his substance abuse problem. He followed his brother into his office. “I don’t know what the hell she meant. She wasn’t very forthcoming.”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow, tell her to cut you some slack.”

“Don’t bother,” Lee said, glancing at the framed photos of Shyanne and Cassidy on Drake’s credenza. Soon they would be adding a son to their family. “Either she comes around or she doesn’t. You can’t force these things.”

“I guess you’re right.” Drake sighed. “I hope you won’t let Indie’s attitude dissuade you. I really want you to join our team, man. We used to talk about working together when we were kids, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” But they’d talked about starting a business together; Drake was asking him to join his already established company. “I appreciate the offer, but—” Lee’s cell phone buzzed with a text message. J.T. wanted him to stop by Jimmy’s.
Interesting.

“But you’re still not sure?” Looking frustrated, Drake swiped a hand over his mouth. “If it’s about the money—”

“It’s not. The contract your lawyer emailed me this morning was generous.”
To say the least.

“Is it the fact that I spelled out the terms we talked about in writing? I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted to make sure we were clear about what I will and won’t tolerate.”

Drake was still trying to call the shots, and he had every right. It was his business. His blood, sweat, and tears had built it into a success. But Lee didn’t know if he could go back to being an employee. Being a freelancer gave him the freedom to call his own shots, for the most part.

“It’s a big decision, man. I just need a little more time to think about it. You cool with that?” Lee refused to be pressured into making such a big decision. Accepting a job with his brother meant he couldn’t get out without damaging their relationship again, and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Sure, take your time.” Checking the time on his phone, Drake said, “You wanna come over for dinner? Cassidy texted me a while ago to say she was grilling salmon.”

“No, I’ve got to see a friend on the way home. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. I’ll try to have an answer for you by then.” Depending on what J.T. had to say…

When Lee got to Jimmy’s, the bartender told him the boss was waiting for him in the office. With a deep breath, Lee tapped his knuckles on the closed door. He’d hoped the short drive over would give him some clarity, but he still had no idea what he wanted to come out of their meeting. He felt as if he was walking a tightrope between hope and fear, with his future and his daughter’s hanging in the balance.

Jimmy’s was an opportunity to be his own boss, make his mark, and give aspiring musicians a chance. Drake’s offer meant safety and security behind a glass wall.

“Come in,” J.T. called.

Take a chance or play it safe. It seemed it was time for him to decide… assuming that was what J.T. had called him in to discuss. “Hey, J.T.,” Lee said, forcing a smile. “Good to see you. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, me and Nik have been travelin’ a fair bit. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Sit down.” J.T. gestured to the worn vinyl chair on the opposite side of his scarred laminate desk. Manila folders were stacked on old metal filing cabinets, and the wood planks beneath their feet looked original, like the rest of the place.

“Sure.” Lee took his jacket off and tossed it on the chair beside him. He hoped he didn’t look as uncomfortable as he felt. If the smirk on his friend’s face was any indication, he wasn’t doing a good job of hiding his nervousness.

“Relax, I didn’t call you here to ask you to pay your bar tab.”

Lee smiled at the joke. “Good to know.”

“I had breakfast with my son-in-law this mornin’,” J.T. said, leaning back. His chair creaked, filling the heavy silence in the room. “He mentioned that he filled you in on my plans to sell the bar.”

“Yeah, you sure you wanna do that? I mean, this is your baby, right?”

J.T. grinned. “No, Lauren’s my baby. This is just a building. Granted, I have a hell of a lot of good memories here. I’ve spent half my life behind that bar, makin’ friends, listenin’ to stories, laughin’ ‘til I cried.”

Lee couldn’t relate. Ever since his parents died when he was a kid, he’d never felt as though he belonged anywhere, not even with his grandparents. “So why do you wanna give that up?”

“It’s time to pass the torch.” J.T. smiled and kicked his worn cowboy boots up on the desk. “Not to mention my wife’s been after me to unload the place. Since her farewell tour last year, she’s been tellin’ me it’s time for us to start doin’ all the things we’ve always talked about.”

“Can’t blame her for that,” Lee said.

“No, I can’t. We’ve both given a lot of time to our careers over the years, especially her. She deserves a little R&R now.” J.T. stared at Lee for a few seconds, almost as though he was inspecting him. “You’re probably wonderin’ why I asked you to come in tonight.”

“Sort of.” Lee ordered his heart to slow down so J.T. wouldn’t see it pounding through his thin cotton shirt.

“What I’m about to say won’t make a damn bit of sense to you unless I tell you the whole story.” With a grin, he said, “Settle in, this may take a while.”

Lee leaned back and crossed his ankle over his knee. “I’m listening.”

“The original owners here, Jimmy and Edna, were damn fine people.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” Lee said. “That was before my time. I can’t remember a time when you weren’t the face I saw behind the bar.”

Glancing at the framed pictures covering the peeling wallpaper, J.T. said, “Yeah, it’s been a lifetime.”

He was silent so long, lost in the pictures and presumably his memories, Lee began to question whether he was having second thoughts about selling.

“Jimmy gave me a new lease on life when he sold me this place,” J.T. said. “I didn’t know where the hell I was going or what I was going to do when my time on the rodeo circuit ended. I sure as hell never thought about owning a bar.” He chuckled. “But Jimmy made me realize that putting down roots might be the best decision I could make.”

“Obviously it was.”

“Second. No, make that the third best.” J.T. grinned. “Marrying Nikki and becoming a daddy were the two best decisions I’ve made.”

Lee could relate to that. Even though his marriage hadn’t worked out, he was glad they’d given Hannah a stable home for a while. And now Chris was stepping in to fill his shoes. Shaking off that melancholy thought, Lee said, “I hear ya, man.”

“I love this place.” J.T.’s half-smile looked more sad than amused. “But I love my family more. Don’t get me wrong, my wife would never ask me to choose. That’s why I have to… because she would never ask me to. She’s put up with a hell of a lot from me over the years, and she deserves my undivided attention now.”

Lee couldn’t begin to understand loving a woman so much he would give up anything and everything for her, so he kept his mouth shut and waited for J.T. to continue.

“You and I’ve known each other a long time,” J.T. said. “I’ve seen you at your best, and I’ve seen you at your worst.”

Lee chuckled. “I was kind of hoping it gets better than this.”

“I think it could,” J.T. said, stroking his chin. “Tell me about what you’ve been up to lately.”

“Same old, same old,” he said, shrugging. “Getting work when I can, spending time with Hannah, dating now and then. That’s about it.”

“I heard you’re sponsoring a kid. That true?”

“How’d you know that?” Lee frowned. Only his immediate family knew about Donato.

“I was standing outside one day when some kid passed by looking for you. He said he’d tried your home and cell but couldn’t reach you.”

“How long ago was that?” Lee asked, feeling his gut clench. He’d promised Donato he would always be there when he needed someone to talk to.

“Gotta be a few months.”

Sighing with relief, Lee said, “Oh.”

“He told me what you’re doing for him, helping him get clean. He said he didn’t know what he’d do without you.”

Lee shrugged. He was just doing what his sponsor had done for him. It was his way of paying it forward.

“We got to talking,” J.T. said with a smile. “He told me he’d never had a father or a brother and said you’re a bit of both.”

Frowning, Lee said, “I’m not old enough to be his father. Brother, maybe.”

J.T. laughed. “No matter how you define your relationship, you’ve obviously had a huge impact on his life.”

“He’s working the program. That’s what’s changing his life, not me.”

“Can’t you give yourself any credit?”

“Sure, when I’ve earned it. In this case, Donato’s the one who’s earned it.”

J.T.’s stern gaze lingered on Lee before he said, “I used to hate your guts.”

“Excuse me?”

J.T. chuckled. “You heard me. Cassidy and Drake were my friends. After what you did to them, I’d just as soon have beat you as you look at you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Lee knew they’d moved past that, but it stung to know that a man he admired had thought so little of him.

“I thought you’d never change, but you proved me wrong. You’ve proved everyone wrong.”

“It wasn’t about proving anyone wrong,” Lee said. “I had to get my life together for Hannah’s sake.”

“Yeah,” J.T. said, smiling. “There’s nothing we won’t do for our kids, right?”

“You can say that again.”

“That’s one of the reasons I wanted to talk to you about this, before I give anyone else a serious crack at it. I see a lot of myself in you, Lee.”

Lee tried to laugh off the swell of pride he felt at J.T.’s comment. Everyone liked and respected J.T. If he had any skeletons in his closet, they were long buried. Lee, on the other hand, felt as if his could be unearthed at any moment. “Buddy, you need to get yourself some glasses.”

“I’m serious.” J.T. stared at Lee just long enough to force eye contact. “I was messed up when Jimmy sold me this place. Hell, he basically forced me to wake up and see this as the opportunity it was. I didn’t think I had what it took to make this place a success, but Jimmy stood by me, showed me the ropes. Then and only then did he leave me on my own.”

“Huh.” If J.T. stuck around to show him how to own and operate a business, that could make the difference between success and failure. Lee wouldn’t get ahead of himself though. He still had his brother’s offer to consider. “I think I know where this is going, but you know I’m a lousy bet, right?”

J.T. scowled. “Why do you do that? Why do you always talk yourself down like that?”

Force of habit.
“I wasn’t. I just—”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“What? No!” Lee could see that he’d pissed J.T. off, though he had no idea why he was so offended.

“Do you think I would call you in here to talk about buying Jimmy’s if I didn’t think you have what it takes?”

Feeling ashamed that he’d disappointed J.T., Lee tried to back pedal. “I’m sorry. I just felt the need to remind you that a bar is probably the worst possible place for a recovering addict.”