Forbidden (17 page)

She reached into her purse for her car keys. “Fine, you wanna do what’s right and deny what you want, be my guest.”

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He grabbed her wrist before she could walk away.

“I’m going home.”

Bile rose in Lee’s throat when he thought of who could be waiting for her there. “No, you’re not. You’re coming back to my place, just like we planned.”

“Why? You said yourself it’s never gonna happen for us.” She slowly and deliberately peeled his fingers off her wrist, daring him to try to stop her. “Best if we cut our losses now, right?”

Lee knew she had him right where she wanted him. If he walked away, he’d go crazy wondering if she was safe. If he called to check on her, he’d have to admit it was because he couldn’t stop thinking about her. The only way out of the mess he’d gotten himself into was the truth. “I’m not ready to let you go.”

“Pardon me?” she said. “I don’t think I heard you right.”

Clenching his teeth, Lee glared at her. “I said I’m not ready to let you go.”

“You’re not ready to let me go. You’re not willing to admit you have feelings for me. You’re not ready to tell your brother what he can do with his stupid rules. What would you suggest I do? Wait around until you are ready?”

“Look, you deserve more,” he whispered, closing in on her. “You deserve a hell of a lot better than me.”

She covered his mouth with her fingers. “Don’t say that again. I know what kind of man you are, what kind of father and brother and friend you are. You love with your whole heart and protect the people you love like your life depends on it. I just want to be one of those people.”

Lee reached for her hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. That’s when he felt jagged skin where there should have been smooth. “What—”

She withdrew her hand quickly. “Don’t. Please, don’t.”

“You’re asking me to trust you with my heart. You have to be willing to trust me too.” A painful ache in his chest swelled at the sight of her agony.

She looked him in the eye, silently asking him to let it go. When she realized he wouldn’t let her off the hook, she said, “Fine, you want to know how I got these?” She pulled up her sleeves and turned her hands over. “I tried to kill myself… more than once.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed the crown of her head, wishing he could take her pain away. “We don’t have to talk about this tonight.”

“I’m tired,” she whispered, her body going limp against his. “I’m just so tired.”

“Let’s get you back to my place.” He tucked her into his side as he led her toward the truck. “Food and sleep, that’s all you need to worry about tonight. Sound good?”

Nodding, she murmured, “Thanks, Lee.”

***

Indie was in love. If she’d doubted it before, she didn’t anymore. Lee had let her choose a sappy chick-flick on pay-per-view and allowed her to select the pizza toppings, even though he hated anchovies and picked all of his off. He made her hot chocolate as she settled beneath a faux fur throw to watch the evening news.

He’d taken care of her, settled her head in his lap and caressed her hair, and held her hand. But that’s as far as he’d taken it, and she was ready for more. Just as she was toying with the thought of stripping naked for him, Lee walked back into the room.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” he asked. “Or do I not want to know?”

“I don’t know,” she said, tossing off the throw to reveal the T-shirt he’d lent her. With her legs curled under her, it showed plenty of skin. “Do you?”

His eyes traveled over her body slowly, leaving little doubt as to what he was thinking. “Why don’t you take the bed? I’ll take the couch.” His voice sounded husky.

“I have a better idea.” She stretched her legs out on the ottoman, enjoying the dark and dangerous look in his eye. She was ready to experience a man who could show her tenderness, passion, and love. No matter what Lee said or how determined he was to deny it, she could tell he was falling in love with her too. “Why don’t we share the bed?”

“That… uh… would be a bad idea.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” She crooked a finger before patting the couch. “Come here. Sit down beside me.” Indie had avoided men for so long that she wasn’t sure she could pull off a seduction, but she was willing to try.

Lee looked hesitant, but he relented. “I know you’re tired. We should just call it a night.”

Indie leaned over him, her knees supporting her weight. “You’ve taken such good care of me tonight. Now I want to do something for you.”

She slowly unbuttoned his shirt, fearing he would grab her hand to try to stop her. When he didn’t, she peeled off his shirt and tried not to release a small cry of satisfaction at the sight of his chiseled muscles. She’d been waiting for a real man who used his strength to protect her instead of hurt her, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to step in front of a bullet for the people he loved. Indie worked the tense muscles in his back and shoulders, smiling when he closed his eyes and rolled his head from side to side.

“Damn, that feels good,” he said, relaxing.

“I’m glad.” She trailed her lips over his shoulders and up his neck while pressing her taut nipples into his back. Gliding her hands down his ribs, she reached for his belt buckle. “I want you, Lee.”

He closed his hands over hers. “Baby, you haven’t been with anyone since that bastard—”

“No, I haven’t,” she said. She wouldn’t let bitter memories steal the moment from them. “But I want to now. I’m ready. Please…” Indie never thought she would have to beg a man to make love to her, but Lee was trying to convince himself to do what he thought was right and walk away, even though that was the last thing either of them wanted.

“I can’t give you a commitment,” he said. “I just got out of a marriage. I’m not ready to go there again. I’ve been dating a lot, trying to figure out what kind of woman will make me happy.”

“And? Have you figured out what you’re looking for?” Without waiting for his response, she stripped his T-shirt off and tossed it to the floor. “Because I finally know that I want the kind of man who makes me want to forget everyone and everything but him. The kind of man who makes me feel safe and protected and cherished.”

Lee sucked in a breath when she brushed her breasts against his back and trailed her lips over his neck.

“I want a man who can be my lover and my best friend.” She ran her hands over his chest. “A man who’d always go to bat for me, who’d be an amazing father, friend, and lover. I think you’re that man, the one I’ve been waiting for.”

Indie’s courage faded when he failed to respond. Closing her eyes, she pulled away. She’d put herself out there, praying it would make him want to take a risk, but she clearly wasn’t swaying him. She bent over and reached for the T-shirt.

“Don’t,” he said. He looked her in the eye before letting his gaze glide over her face. He pressed her back into the couch as he closed in on her. “You’re so beautiful. You should wait for a man who can give you everything you need.”

Indie wrapped her arms around his neck. “You can give me everything I want and need, you just don’t realize it yet.” It might be a mistake to hint at a future he didn’t believe he wanted, but she refused to live in fear of the truth anymore.

“Indie—”

“Kiss me,” she whispered, spearing his thick black hair with her fingers. “Just kiss me. If you don’t feel the way I do, I’ll walk away and never bother you again.”

He moved closer and brushed his lips against hers tentatively, as though he was still fighting what he wanted. He took her mouth slowly, thoroughly. Indie feared she may have to commit the kiss to memory because he may not allow them to repeat it. If that was Indie’s only intimacy with him, she was determined to make the most of it. With a soft moan, she pulled him down on top of her. She gripped his shoulders as she enticed him with an erotic dance of tongues that ended with both of them breathless.

Lee looked down at her, dazed and confused. “What the hell—”

“Was that?” she asked. “My fantasy kiss.”

Lee closed his eyes, obviously trying to get his bearings before she talked him into what he was still convinced would be a mistake.

She reached for his hand. “Don’t over-think this. Just feel.” She set his hand on her breast and locked eyes with him as he felt the ragged beat of her heart. “Feel what you do to me.” She guided his hand lower, to her core. She let her legs fall open. “Feel what you do to me.”

“Indie…” Her name fell from his lips like a curse. He was obviously blaming her for leading him into temptation he was trying so hard to resist.

“I want you to make me feel things I’ve never felt before.” Her voice was a soft whisper of despair and longing. “Show me what I’ve been missing. Show me how a real man treats the woman he loves.”

“Don’t—”

“Tell me you don’t love me.” Her eyes filled with tears at the possibility that he might. She’d never wanted anything more. “Tell me you want my body and nothing more.”

“I can’t do that,” he said, gliding his fingers through her arousal. “We both know I’d be lying.”

His gentle manipulations brought her to a place she’d never been before, to the brink of complete surrender in a man’s arms. For a woman who’d denied herself any sexual indulgences, his touch felt like a dream she never wanted to end.

“That feels amazing,” she said, sliding her hands up her ribcage to her breasts.

“Yes,” he hissed, watching her. His fingers worked her harder, faster, as she rolled her nipples. “God, you’re so sexy.”

Sexy.
She’d tried to downplay her sexuality for so long, tried to deny the sensual part that she knew was lurking beneath the surface. She wanted to uncover that in the safety of Lee’s arms and learn to be the best lover he’d ever had. The kind of woman he would never want to leave.

“Watch me,” she whispered, sliding her tongue over her lips as she looked at him through hooded eyes. “I’m getting close. I want you to watch me.”

“I couldn’t take me eyes off you if I tried.”

Feeling confident in the power she wielded over him in that moment, Indie gyrated her hips, panting softly as she threw her arms over her head and surrendered to her climax. “Oh God… Lee…” She knew hearing her cry his name would drive him crazy, so she forced her eyes open. “Lee…”

Lee was going out of his mind watching Indie discover what her body was capable of. Knowing that he could make her feel that kind of ecstasy made him feel more powerful than when he’d beat his bench-pressing record at the gym. She was giving herself to him, body and soul, and while he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve it, he knew he couldn’t reject her gift without hating himself.

“Let’s take this in to the bedroom,” he said, reaching for her hand. He wouldn’t be able to stop until he’d taken her in all the ways he’d been dreaming about.

“I thought you’d never ask,” she said with a coy smile.

That was when he realized he was in way over his head. He’d always enjoyed the company of beautiful women, had even been accused of being a womanizer, but Indie was like no one he’d ever met. She’d been hurt, but wasn’t jaded. She was cautious, but also fearless. She’d judged him unworthy and then acknowledged her rush to judgment. She forgave him when he couldn’t seem to forgive himself.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Brushing a hand over her cheek, he half-expected her to admit she was having second thoughts. If he were in her position, he would have been. But maybe he wasn’t as brave as she was.

“I’m sure.” She covered his hand with hers and closed her eyes to revel in his touch.

Watching his effect on her was humbling. “I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, Indie.”

He couldn’t imagine they would ever go back to the way things were, but he couldn’t picture being with her forever either. She was young, innocent in many ways, just beginning to explore her sexuality and the power she had over the men she allowed to get close. He hoped she would look back on their night together fondly, but he couldn’t see it being more than just a special memory. He was a recovering addict with a little girl to care for and years of baggage weighing him down. She was young and beautiful with hearts still to break. He didn’t want to count his among them.

“You’re perfect for me,” she whispered, kissing his chest. “I know you don’t see it that way now, but you will. Someday.”

Her confidence in him and them made him feel shaky. He’d tried to warn her that he wasn’t looking for forever, but when she said those things, she made him believe he was overlooking the obvious. “You’re perfect.” That was the only thing he could see clearly. From her dark hair that reminded him of silk, to her wide, expressive eyes that read his soul, she was the epitome of beauty.

She smiled, tracing a finger on his jaw. “I’m glad you think so.”

Lee backed into the bedroom, holding her hands. The smart thing to do would be to concentrate on the physical act, to simply sate their desire. But knowing it would be the first time she’d
made love
made him want to take his time and erase all of her painful memories. He stripped his jeans, giving her ample time to back out. The hunger in her eyes told him he was the only one having second thoughts.

Indie surprised him by taking the initiative. She reached for him, and his mouth went dry. Gripping his shaft, she seemed to be getting as much pleasure as she was giving by working him over. “I’ve fantasized about this,” she admitted. “Being with you like this, seeing your reaction to my touch. I love it. It makes me feel powerful and sexy, knowing I can turn you on.”

She was turning him on and inside out. Drawing a shaky breath, Lee gripped her wrist. “If you don’t stop now, we’re both gonna wind up disappointed.”

Indie slid her hands up his chest before inching back on the bed. He stared at her, positioned between the down pillows with her hair spread out, her taut little body soft and supple and begging him to finish what he’d started.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, uncertainty crossing her face.

His heart clenched. “No.” Lee understood weakness better than most, and Indie had clearly found the chink in his armor. “Nothing’s wrong.” Everything was wrong, but it felt so right.