Authors: Mark Tufo
Chapter 13 – Mike Journal Entry 6
“What about a snow plow?” Gary asked.
“What about it?” I asked, looking back at him in the mirror.
“Why aren’t we riding in one of those?”
I didn’t have a valid response. It made sense. A ton of sense. A few tons of sense.
“That’s actually an awesome idea,” Travis said.
“Will we all fit?” BT asked.
That also was a valid point. The truck was beyond its limit with the eight of us.
I wasn’t sure about a plow, but it was basically a dump truck retrofitted with a plow.
Really wouldn’t be room for more than three or possibly four. And I was not keen on
splitting up.
“What about two dump trucks?” Tracy chimed in. I think she liked the idea of the bigger,
much safer, vehicle.
“That’ll call for way more gas,” I said, although that idea was not completely out
of the realm.
“What if some of us got in the back?” Travis threw in.
“Naw, that’s not safe. It’s all steel, and you’ll get tossed around like bowling balls,”
I said. Travis was still thinking that sounded fun as hell. Youth is its own folly.
“Wait, wait! What if we built something we could anchor seats to back there?” Gary
said, the light clearly shining above his head. “Hear me out before you say anything
else. We could build a two-by-four framework inside the dump part; maybe even put
plywood up on the sides for added protection. And it wouldn’t be all that difficult
to mount a couple of bench car seats to that. It’d be perfect.”
“And what about inclement weather?” I asked.
“Can’t you just say ‘rain’?” BT asked. “Inclement weather,” he mocked, shaking his
head. “It’s rain, Mike.”
“Well, it could be hail too.” I tried to defend myself.
“Tarps,” Gary chimed in, “we could have tarps pulled over the whole thing. Maybe even
mount a couple of battery lamps inside so we can see.”
“Sounds like an RV on steroids.” I had meant it in jest, but the more I thought about
it, the better it sounded. “Who gets to tell Ron we left his truck by the side of
the road?”
“NOT IT!” Gary shouted.
I don’t know if they planned it that way, but just about all occupants in the truck
save myself responded simultaneously with ‘Not it’. Even Henry punctuated this with
a well-timed burp that, if listened to slowly, could have the potential to have sounded
like ‘not it.’
“What’s one more truck in the grand scheme of things?” BT asked, shrugging his shoulders
at me. “It’s not like he’s not already expecting it.”
“Okay, first off we have a lot of things going on. We have to find a plow and then
the appropriate supplies to retrofit it.”
“Talbot, we’re in the Northeast. How hard do you think it’s going to be to find a
plow?” Tracy asked.
“Is that sarcasm? Because everyone needs a smart-ass. It’s my ass that’s on the line
here. Gary, assuming…” I stopped to look at my wife. “Assuming we find this plow,
how long are you thinking it will take to modify?”
“We’ll need tools, and some torches for welding, but I think with some help I could
have something pretty good to go in two days, tops.”
“Man, I don’t like the idea of having to hole up for two days, but the idea of that
rolling tank…I’m not going to lie, that sounds pretty enticing. And that two-day deadline
is pretty firm? It’s not like that time you promised your friends you would build
them a pagoda for their wedding?”
“It was short notice,” he intoned.
“How short?” BT asked.
“Six months,” I told him.
“Have you ever seen all the angles on those things? It’s as bad as doing geometry,”
Gary said, trying to diffuse the stares being directed at him.
“That’s kind of funny, Uncle Gary, because it’s exactly like doing geometry,” Travis
said.
“Yeah, well…no one told me that.”
“Yet you promised your friends this?” Tracy asked.
“Hey, their wedding was just as beautiful in the tent,” he said in his defense.
“Okay, we’ll try this. Two days, Gary, that’s it. We’ll find a DPW in the next town,
I’m sure they have a garage with plenty of tools. You figure out what we’re going
to need, and a few of us will go out and grab it.”
“Mike you know how I feel about this splitting up stuff,” Tracy said nervously.
“It’ll just be a few hours, in and out, I promise,” I told her.
“You know nothing’s easy any more, right? It’s not like shooting over to Starbuck’s
for a latte.”
“Iced Caramel Macchiato,” I said.
“What?” she asked, exasperated.
“I don’t like lattes I like Iced—”
“Yeah, Talbot, I get it. That’s not what’s really important here.”
I was going to argue with her that it MOST assuredly was important. I’d had an addiction
to the damned macchiato. But perhaps it wasn’t the appropriate time. “Hon, for the
foreseeable future, this is how it’s always going to be. Just taking a crap is a dangerous
proposition right now.”
“Eloquent,” BT chimed in.
“You mind if we have a moment?” I asked him.
“We’re crammed in here like sardines, and you want me to ignore the only thing going
on? You must be crazy.” BT said.
“Thanks, man.” I told him.
He grinned.
I continued after I directed a nasty glare at BT; he cared little. “These are the
chances we are going to have to take. There just isn’t a way around it. I’m not thrilled
this is the way it is, but maybe finding Doc will change it. This reward is worth
the risk.”
“I know, I know. I’m just always afraid that when you walk out that door, some or
possibly all of you won’t be coming back.”
“Honey, you know that isn’t going to happen. How many times have I tried to leave
BT behind, and he keeps coming back?”
“Fuck you, Talbot,” he said, reaching over to try and sideswipe my head.
“I’ll put this thing in a tree if you keep swinging at me,” I told him as I ducked
away.
“And that’s different from your normal driving how?”
“Hilarious. Alright here’s our next town.”
“You couldn’t pick a different place?” Tracy asked.
“What’s wrong with Salem?” I asked her. “There were witches here not zombies.”
“If we were battling aliens, I still wouldn’t want to go to a haunted house,” she
said.
What kind of argument can you make against that? I took the off-ramp leading in any
way. We stopped at the town hall. BT and Gary had gone up and into the building while
the rest of us set up a defensive perimeter.
“Five Jefferson Avenue,” Gary said happily from atop the steps.
“Yeah, because I know where Jefferson Ave is,” I mumbled.
“Be nice, Talbot,” Tracy said out of the side of her mouth.
“We follow this road for like a couple of hundred yards, take a right, and we’ll be
on Jefferson, and then it’s just about right there,” BT said, looking at a map that
had been ripped from a phone book. “It’s quiet here.” BT looked around.
“The witches cast spells to keep it that way,” I told him.
“Makes sense,” he said, coming down the stairs.
“You can kiss my ass, Talbot,” Tracy told me.
“I don’t know why you say that to me as if I’m going to take offense,” I told her.
“I’d do it gladly.”
Salem really did look as if it had been relatively untouched. That did little to make
me feel good though. The last place I thought had been untouched by the zombie invasion
had merely been a time bomb waiting for an unsuspecting food supply to walk by, and
Cash had paid the penalty with his manhood. I cringed just thinking about it. That’s
it, next chance I got, I was going to get a metal male chastity belt. Yeah, right
now Bennett, Colorado and Salem, Massachusetts had just about that same feel. Although,
I’m pretty sure Bennett didn’t have any witches, but I could be wrong.
The DPW building was much like the rest of this place—undisturbed. And it was creeping
me the fuck out. Battles, mayhem, and destruction I understood. Where was everyone?
The gate was open, which was a good thing, because the chain that was wrapped around
the left side of the sliding fence looked like it could keep King Kong penned up.
“What do you think, Mike?” BT asked.
“I was thinking I’d maybe like an ice cold beer while I’m sitting on a recliner in
some ski chalet. Maybe a good football game on, and I’ve never had a pedicure in my
life, but that sounds like a good idea as well.”
“How long have you known him?” Gary asked.
BT just shook his head. “I mean about this place, Mike.”
“Then you really should be more specific,” I told him. We were still sitting in the
truck staring at the small building that was DPW headquarters. “Gary shut the gate,”
I told him as I pulled all the way in. “Wrap the chain, too.”
I did not take my eyes off the building. It only took us a couple of minutes to do
a complete sweep. We couldn’t even find so much as a trace that something bad had
happened. Besides a bunch of dust and cobwebs, the place looked like it was waiting
to open up. Salem had three plows, one of which was in the garage in more pieces than
a jigsaw puzzle. The other two were all geared up with large plows and a full dump
of sand.
“Pick one, brother,” I said, handing him the keys that I had found on a pegboard next
to the receptionist’s desk. A large plume of black smoke shot from the exhaust pipe,
the diesel engine was incredibly loud in the still of the day.
“Dump the sand and shut that thing down,” I told Gary as I jumped up onto the runner.
If whoever was still in the town hadn’t yet known of our visit, they sure did by now.
It took Gary a few minutes to figure out how to work the lift, and he damn near died
for it. He’d—hell all of us really—forgot to unlatch the tailgate to the truck. So,
as the dump portion began to raise up, the sand couldn’t escape. Gary’s front wheels
were six inches off the ground and threatening to hurtle him and the truck into the
air and onto its back before I shouted at him to let it back down. Luckily, the learning
curve had already been traveled and he knew how to do it quickly. But it was more
time that the loud engine was thrumming. I undid the tailgate, Gary raised the truck
back up and, when all the sand was out, he popped the truck into gear. When he stopped
a short ten feet away, the tailgate slammed into the rear of the truck with enough
force to sound like a Howitzer had been fired. And then he did it again.