Authors: Mark Tufo
I was breaking all my rules today as I walked into Anne’s Bike Shop. Number one was
having to fight zombies with a bladed weapon; and second was using a mode of transportation
that was unprotected. I grabbed a couple of bikes and then handed them out to the
boys. I went in and grabbed a couple of more. Plus a few flat repair kits and some
spare tires.
“What are you doing, Mike?” Tracy asked.
“Going green,” I told her as I hopped back up.
“What’s with the bikes, Mike?” BT asked, not at all pleased with the wheeled machinery
by his feet. “You know I don’t know how to ride, right?”
“It’d be interesting to watch for sure…almost like a circus act.”
“I’m sure I could wrap one of these things around you, though.”
“Zombies like the sound of engines. I’m removing that from the equation. Tommy and
I are going to wipe out a few dens.” I told him.
“This your idea?” he asked, looking at Tommy. “No, of course not,” he answered before
the boy could say anything.
“Listen, I’m not doing it because I’m looking for any more trouble than we already
have. Just hear me out. It doesn’t look like zombies will die on their own. Neither
time or starvation seem to play a part in their physiology. Fuck, they’re like Styrofoam
coffee cups, they’re never going anywhere.” BT nodded. “And now it looks like they
are starting to tap deeper into the brains they infest. Day by day they’re getting
smarter. I mean, I don’t know if it’ll come down to it, but what if they start to
figure out how to wield weapons or shoot guns. What then, man? We’re already swimming
in a pool of shit and now they want to try and drown us in it.”
“Fairly graphic analogy…but probably fitting,” Tommy said.
“The stasis time is going to be our best chance to take out as many of them as possible,”
I told him.
“On one level, Mike, I’m completely with you. On the other…what are the odds your
wife is going to let you do this?”
“I’m not telling her,” I said without skipping a beat. “And neither are any of you.”
I pointed to Travis, Justin, and BT.
“Tommy and I are going to head out tonight and see if we can make some Z’mores.”
“That’s fucking gross,” BT said. “If you’re not telling her, then we never had this
conversation.” He pointed back and forth between us.
Gary had us all doing things while he welded different supports and brackets to the
truck. Most of it I really didn’t have a clue what they were going to end up doing,
but when he started cutting out gun wells with the acetylene torch, that I knew. It
was brilliant! He was making a homemade tank. And then I had to revert back to ‘What
the hell took so long?’ There were two ports on every side including the front. He
also cut out a large window that let the folks in the cab see into the back and vice
versa. He welded a couple of runners and then slotted through a good-sized piece of
Plexiglas so that we could slide it back and forth.
I’d argued with Gary for a bit as the sun began to set. He wanted to throw on the
generator to run some lights so he could see and also use some of the power tools
that would have made the building process quicker and easier.
“Are you thinking this through?” I asked him. “You want to be the only place in the
entire city lit up and making noise? Might as well throw on an ‘open’ sign.”
“I could just about finish tonight,” he begged.
“It’s looking great, man, it really is. We’ll work on it tomorrow. Plus we won’t have
a hostile audience watching us.”
“We’ve got the fence to keep them out.”
“Zombies are starting to climb. Do you want to spend the next two days trying to defend
this area and not be able to? Or do you just want to do what you need to do tomorrow
and we can get out of here?”
“Well…option two sounds better, but option one gives me lights.”
“Funny guy, do what you can tonight.” And then I walked away to find Justin who was
patrolling the perimeter. “I’m going to need you and your brother to have a late night
tonight standing watch. You alright with that?”
“Whatever it takes,” he told me. “Unless mom comes looking for you…and then I’m throwing
you under the bus as fast as I can.”
“That’s not being a team player.”
“I am a team player, just
her
team.”
“Fair enough, she always wins anyway. Seriously though, I want the both of you out
here tonight. This isn’t just a matter of watching the gate anymore.”
“Do you know what’s going on?” he asked in seriousness.
“Yeah, the zombies are using the resources available to them and I don’t like it one
bit.”
I don’t know how the woman does it, either I’m pretty readable like a damn open book
or a switched on e-reader, or she’s just plain psychic. I acted as casually as I could
all night. Never checked my weapons or my ammo, never talked with anyone in hushed
tones. I just went about my business, but I could feel her eyes on me constantly.
She was looking for something. This was why, early on in our relationship, I’d learned
to never lie to her. I just couldn’t get away with it. Now that’s not to say there
weren’t times I didn’t use subterfuge, but never with the spoken word. All of my stuff
was done with plausible deniability.
Like the time when the kids were young and she had to go to California for corporate
training or some crap. I was supposed to be watching the kids, but Paul was having
this party over at his house, with a band and everything. Now most guys would figure
out this elaborate lie about why they had to drop the kids off at the in-laws. See,
that involves too many questions. I just brought them with. Paul gave them a room
with a TV and I brought some toys. And I would drunkenly check on them from time to
time. Responsible parenting? I think not. But it sure saved me from trying to remember
what I told her or didn’t. I almost got caught when she asked about the kids’ new
toys, things I had bought for their silence. We all have skeletons. At least mine
don’t have as much meat on them as some folks. Shitty rationalization tactic, but
it’s how I cope.
This night of all nights, though, the woman would just not go to bed. If I could have
found some sleeping pills I would have gladly slipped them in her drink. As much as
I wanted to press her on the subject of how tired I was and that we should go to bed,
I knew that this tactic would immediately send up a red flag for her. Once that was
raised, I’d never get out without a proper grilling. I think it was somewhere in the
neighborhood of one or two o’clock, not really sure, I didn’t have a watch. On a side
thought—it’s amazing how quickly the man-created concept of time becomes significantly
less important in an apocalyptic setting. At least, the preciseness of it. I mean,
we were still using things like tomorrow or tonight which were generalizations that
I have to believe all animals use. But as for 6:32 in the morning, well, that particular
time can go fuck itself. (That was what I used to set my alarm for when I had to go
to work.)
She fought it. She did…but when she pulled the third shift for guard duty, she figured
she had to get some sleep. It was brutal acting this nonchalant. I was revved up like
an ADD sufferer at a kaleidoscope convention. I just wrote that and I’m not sure if
it makes sense. How about a six-year-old mainlining espresso? Yeah, that’s better.
I waited until her breathing deepened before I moved. I wanted to kiss her forehead,
but she’d know; not sure how she would, but she’d know. We were connected like only
soul mates can be. And how was that still possible if I was a little light in that
department? Concepts for a later time I suppose. Tommy was standing at the door to
the office Tracy and I were staying in. He was quieter than a cat.
‘You ready?’ He asked in my head. I was about to tell him to be quiet when it dawned
he hadn’t spoken aloud. I was not a fan of that mode of communication. I patted his
shoulder as I moved past him, he followed.
“Heading out for some bread?” Came out of the shadows.
“Hey, BT,” Tommy said.
“Now where would you two be going at this hour of the night?” he asked, stepping out
of the shadow of the building, the thin sliver of moon barely illuminating any of
us.
“Don’t you have some busses to bench press or something?” I asked him.
“We’re off to destroy the hives,” Tommy told him.
“And I wasn’t invited? I feel like I’ve been left behind on the night of the prom.”
“I’m sure that wasn’t the case,” I told him. “You were probably the Belle of the Ball.”
“Careful, Talbot, how fast do you think I can get upstairs and tell your wonderful
wife?”
“It’s not your size that repels friends, it’s your mean streak,” I told him.
“So what’s the plan?” he asked.
“Plan?” Tommy asked as well.
“Not cool, Tommy,” I told him. He shrugged his shoulders in response. I’d been getting
that a lot lately. “We’re going on bike, BT.”
He got the implication; his leg was not a hundred percent and might never be. The
bullet he caught should have sheered his leg off, and my field surgery was anything
but expert-like. Doc had undone a lot of the damage I’d done, but a bullet is a bullet.
Our bodies aren’t designed to deal with the trauma they inflict. They do the best
they can to repair the damage but it’s not a perfect science.
I saw it in his face, he was warring within himself. His pride was hurting. No one
wants to hear there’s something they can’t do. He was also thinking about giving me
a healthy ration of shit. How’d I know this? Because I know BT. Plus I would have
done the same thing if the roles were reversed. I thought about adding that Tommy
and I were faster than him, but then thought better of it, that would be more like
rubbing salt into the wound while we were pouring alcohol on it.
“BT, I am concerned with how these zombies are behaving, I’d feel worlds better if
you patrolled with the boys,” I told him.
“So I’m basically on guard duty while you two play hero commandos.”
“BT, I’m asking you to watch out for the things I hold dearest to me. I can’t think
of a more important job. Plus you said it yourself, you can’t ride a bike.”
He looked long and hard at me to see if I was trying to appease him. Sure, a piece
of me was, but the vast majority was sincere and he saw that.