Finding Home (7 page)

She felt the nudge of his knee and opened to him, laying her head back on the hard floor and running her fingers through his hair as he inclined his head to capture her lips. His tongue invaded her mouth in a spark of sweetness just as his sex pushed into her, causing her to gasp in pleasure. He filled her wholly. It was as if before he entered her, she’d never known she’d been vacant, her whole life leading her to this point where he would fit into her as if they were made for each other.

He thrust slowly then retreated. A whimper died on her lips as he surged back inside. His hands roamed her body, massaging her breasts then trailing down to tickle her sides in their gentle exploration. She clutched his shoulders, urging him on as his erection hit a spot deep within her that called for more. Over and over again, the smooth rhythm entranced her until the kitchen, the mistletoe and the night’s events completely faded from her mind. There was only right now. There was only Ben.

Her arms circled his neck, and she wrapped her long legs around him, pushing their slick bodies together. The pressure at her thighs increased until she lost all control, her core clenching him as the world sparked and shattered into shards around her. At her surrender, he again took her mouth, deeply penetrating her without reservation. His hands settled on her hair, and he clenched it in his fists as he called out, his face a mask of lust and pleasure as he came.

He slumped down over her, and in the quiet that followed, Jessica played absently with the strands at the nape of his neck. She’d never felt so satisfied. She’d never felt so content. She kissed his cheek with all the tenderness welling up inside of her and clamped down her emotions as best she could, lest she cry. Lingering inside of her, he stroked her arms.

“You’re cold,” he said, noticing her gooseflesh. He made as if to rise, but she stopped him.

“Not cold,” she replied. “Amazed.”

He smiled down at her, his beautiful lips calling silently for hers to meet them, and she propped up on her elbows, inclining her head. As he drank of her, he pushed himself to his feet, taking her with him. Cradling her in his arms, never breaking the kiss, he walked them up the stairs to her bed.
His bed
, she corrected herself.

“If you don’t mind,” he said, as he laid her down and drew the covers atop her small frame, “I’d like to sleep in my bed tonight.”

She grinned at him, giddy from what had just happened between them. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

He left her then, heading to the bathroom to clean up, and by the time he returned, she was already nodding off to sleep. He slipped into bed beside her, his arms around her naked body, and she snuggled closely into his warmth, inhaling his scent. She could not remember ever being this happy. Ben pressed a chaste kiss to her shoulder, which was the last thing she remembered before surrendering to sleep.

Chapter Six

Jessica awoke to a warm body curled around her, and she smiled sleepily, trailing a finger down the strong limb that encircled her. Ben moved behind her, pressing against her firmly. She shivered at the contact, snuggling closer, then turned to look at her newfound lover.

His face relaxed in sleep, Ben looked a mere twenty years old. His full lips quirked up at the ends into the shadow of a smile. A fine coating of stubble darkened his jaw line, and his hair fell across his forehead and splayed over the pillow beneath him. His bare chest flexed as he instinctively pulled her closer, burying his face in her curls and sighing in contentment.

Jessica’s heart swelled to be able to make someone so happy on such a basic level. She might have been miles from her own apartment, but for the first time since her parents’ death, she felt as if she were home. Everything just seemed…right. Comfortable. She molded perfectly into his body, her pliant shape giving way to the contours of his hard muscle.

Fully awake, she stretched out of his tight hold and wriggled gently away. She folded the coverlet back and took in a harsh breath at the sight of his naked body, his erection rigid in the morning sunlight.

She palmed it with a light touch, fascinated by the slight change in color from the paleness of his thighs to the rosy hue of his erection. Ben moved into the touch, still swamped in sleep, and Jessica’s fingers grew bolder. She stroked the exposed underside, splaying her hand at the base to palm his heavy globes. She massaged them slowly, increasing the pressure until Ben moaned and pushed his body into her. Dipping her head, Jessica trailed kisses down Ben’s smooth torso, nuzzling the inside of his hip until he moved his legs slightly apart, turning onto his back.

“Hey, there,” he murmured. “Happy Christmas Eve.”

“Mmm,” Jessica said, flashing him a quick glance before returning to her task.

She darted her tongue over his tip, and he groaned, propping up on his elbows to look at her. Placing feathery kisses up and down his length, she waited until Ben was almost writhing beneath her to take his heat into her mouth.

Ben gasped as she wrapped her hand around his base, pumping slowly upward as she sucked in her cheeks, coming off the head with a pop before dropping back down to do it again.

“Oh, God,” Ben whispered, twining his fingers in her hair. “Best Christmas ever.”

Jessica stopped for a moment, looking up at him. “You know,” she said, “I was thinking the same thing.”

She bent down and took him in a quick motion, flicking her tongue around the bottom rim of the tip. Ben bucked his hips forward, and Jessica struggled to take the length of him in to the hilt. Then he pulled away suddenly, and Jessica made a strangled noise of protest, that sound dying on her lips when the man grasped her under her arms and pulled her atop him.

Feeling the hard ridge of him under her made her body ache with a need she hadn’t known she’d had. Her center pulsed with it, when Ben turned away. She waited impatiently as Ben crossed the room, bent in his closet and took out a small box. He held up a key, smiling, then moved to the nightstand. He unlocked the top drawer and removed a condom.

“So that’s why that drawer was locked,” Jessica murmured.

Ben just grinned at her and slipped the latex over his skin. That done, he lay back down and placed his hand on the bones of her hips, lifting her gently, then easing her back down so that she sheathed him completely.

Jessica let Ben set the pace from below, a leisurely back and forth that drew gasps of pleasure from her with each pulse within her. She knelt forward, planting her forearms on either side of his face, and kissed his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth and teasing it with her tongue until the man beneath her could take no more and crushed her to him, searing her with hot kisses from her jaw to her cheekbones.

His thrusts became more urgent, and Jessica felt a coiling of lust deep within her as he reached a spot she hadn’t known she had again and again. In a frenetic movement of passion, orgasm took Jessica without warning, pushing her over the edge of oblivion as she cried out in exquisite pleasure. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she came, and she clenched around the hot length inside of her. She didn’t see Ben’s surrender to the abyss. She felt his hands rake over her back and grab her buttocks as he rocked into her with force, shouting out, then reached up to run his fingers through her hair.

They lay in silence for long moments before Jessica raised her head to look at the man who was so thoroughly leaving his mark. His dark eyes burned into hers with a million questions before a mask of placidity fell over his features.

“I could get used to this,” he murmured, cupping her chin in his hand.

She nodded, reluctantly rolling off him. As much as she wanted to stay in bed all day, the animals needed tending to, and their bout of lovemaking put them way behind schedule.

“Hey, come back,” Ben said, reaching for her as she planted her feet on the floor.

She smiled at him. “We’ve got all day to do this,” she said. “Right now, the cows need to be fed.” She laughed as she walked away. “And I know just the guy to do it.”

Ben groaned, putting his hands over his face. “I knew there was a reason I left this farm,” he complained.

“Buck up,” Jessica said with a smirk, tossing him a clean flannel from the closet. “At least, you’ve got your family.” Her voice nearly broke with unexpected emotion at that, and she turned quickly, shutting the door to the bedroom on the way out. Tears threatened as she thought of her parents, of how they’d never see another Christmas.

* * * *

With Ben being out at the barns, a lonely, nervous feeling overwhelmed Jessica. She felt a sudden urge to check her email, which she hadn’t done since she’d left Boston. She had wanted to start completely fresh, but after seeing Ben and his family together, she had started to worry about her own loose ties. She figured it couldn’t hurt to read a few messages. It was probably all junk mail anyway.

She turned on the old desktop and waited. Taking a fortifying breath, Jessica tried to stem her anxiety. The worst that could be there was an angry note from her landlord, Shelby, about not paying rent, right?

Wrong.

There were several notes from him. The first annoyed, the second angry, and the subsequent communications worried and panicked. In the last one dated in early November, Shelby stated simply that he’d found her extended family after not hearing back from her and had left it in their hands.

After that, she read email upon email, each more harried than the last from her uncle. He begged her to reply, said he was afraid the perpetrators had kidnapped her or worse. Subsequent emails got more and more hopeless. The last one, dated in early December, detailed a missing person report he’d filed.

An odd sensation wrapped itself around her heart. Who was this person her mother had hated so? Why was he hated? Clearly, he cared deeply about his blood ties. Travis didn’t owe Jessica a thing. He had no obligation to her, no connection to her other than the rings, and yet money was not mentioned once in any of the communications.

There must have been a misunderstanding all those years ago. She wondered if perhaps her uncle deserved a shot at knowing her. Sure, they could just go on as they had been. She could leave him in doubt and worry. She didn’t owe him anything, either. But could she turn her back on her own family? She didn’t have a reason like whatever her mother’s had been. And she was all alone. Could she ignore the chance to heal an age-old rift? Had her mother been so hurt and spiteful that she wouldn’t understand?

Jessica went back and forth with herself. On the one hand, her mom had made it absolutely clear that Uncle Travis was a scumbag, unworthy of even a second thought. On the other hand, she had never told Jessica why, and she was now dead. As an adult, Jessica could easily just ask her uncle what happened then decide for herself, right?

She thought about the Elkers. If Ben could be welcomed back with open arms as part of a family, maybe she should do the same thing. Or at least try.

Her stomach rumbled. It was well past one p.m., and by now, Ben would be wanting lunch, too. She made her way down the stairs to start an omelet for lunch, and as she went, a decision hit her with such finality that she was making future plans before she even made it to the kitchen. She would go back to Boston. She had to make amends and build a bridge, even if that meant leaving the family who’d treated her so well. Even if it meant leaving the man who’d just opened her eyes to what life could be like if you welcomed it with open arms.

She forced the thoughts away as the eggs sizzled in the pan, reminding her of her task. The kitchen filled with the delicious smells of sausage and roasted peppers as the omelet solidified into perfection. She heard Ben stomping his boots free of snow in the entryway, but before she could call out, she heard his voice on the phone.

“You don’t have to let her go, Mom. I’m sure there’s enough work for both of us!”

He paused, and Jessica strained her ears.

“But it’s Christmas, for Christ’s sake.”

She heard him shrug off his heavy coat and put it on the rack by the door.

“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have come home.”

Jessica crept into the room, startling Ben. He was bent over on the couch in frustration, and Jessica smiled at his protectiveness of her welfare. He was beautiful, sitting there, his dark blue eyes filled with emotion as he seemed to fight an inward battle.

“Hi,” she said awkwardly as she entered the room proper. Ben clicked off the phone without so much as saying goodbye.

“How much did you hear?” he asked.

Jessica loved how straightforward he was.

“Enough,” she said simply. “But, actually, it works out perfectly for me. I have…some business to attend to back home. I’ll have to leave immediately.”

She fingered the rings around her neck. It was time to let go of the past and pave the way to a brighter future.

Ben’s face fell at her announcement. “You won’t be staying for Christmas?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Jessica hedged. “I actually don’t have enough money to get home. And I know you were just talking about how you couldn’t afford to keep me on, but I was wondering if you could…” She blanched, trying to force the next words out. “If you could spot me a small loan for a train ticket. I’ll have the funds to pay you back and more as soon as I reach the city. I just have to make amends first and allow my own family to be part of the decision making.”

She waited to be turned down, her heart in her throat.

Ben’s phone vibrated.

“That’s mom again,” he said. “Probably pissed I hung up.” He went to put the phone in his pocket.

“Let me talk to her,” Jessica said.

“What? Why?”

“Just let me talk to her.” Jessica reached for the phone, which Ben handed over reluctantly.

“Hi, Ellie.”

“Hi,” the older woman sounded distracted. “Ben hung up on me!”

“Yeah, I know, I heard that. It’s my fault. I startled him. He hung up by accident.”

“Hmph,” said Ellie. “Well, why isn’t he talking to me right now?”

“I asked him to give me the phone. I have a question for you.”