Finding Home (6 page)

“Well,” Jessica said, “I’ll tell you what I told Butch over there. I’m right here. I can make my own decisions about
all of this
.” She waved her hand around in a mocking way then laughed when she saw Ben’s shocked expression. She clinked her beer bottle against his. “But for now, can we just have fun?”

Just then, Hal sailed by and grabbed Jessica by the hand. “Buddy, if you’re not going to dance with this luscious lady, let me show you how it’s done,” he shouted over her shoulder as he swept her onto the large floor where several couples were dancing to Mariah Carey’s
All I Want for Christmas
.

She shot a glance at Ben who’d turned to watch them and leaned against the wall. He raised his bottle in a toast, and she threw back her head and laughed. She felt safe with Hal, and Ben trusted him. What was the harm?

Moving her hips to the music, she made sure to stay a few feet away from the drunk friend, and he was respectful of her distance. They didn’t try to talk over the loudspeakers, and Jessica let herself go a little, lifting her heavy locks off her neck when the exertion started making her hot.

“Step aside, dipshit,” a deep voice rumbled behind her.

Jim stepped around her, cutting off Hal. Apparently, she’d left too much space between them.

A sweaty chest butted against hers, and the smell of liquor invaded her space. “So, little lady, are you looking for a real man or what?”

“That depends,” Jessica said, looking around frantically. Ben was no longer at his post, and she couldn’t see Hal, either. “Are you a real man?”

“A yup,” Jim answered, a condescending grin spreading across his face. His cold eyes bunched up as he thrust himself toward her for an unwanted kiss. She dipped to the side, and he stumbled forward.

“Then no, I’m not looking for a real man,” she said, taking advantage of his unbalance and turning to walk away. A meaty grip on her elbow stopped her, and pain wrenched through her arm. “Ow!” she said. “You’re hurting me.”

“Sluts like you deserve to be hurt,” Jim said, monotone. “I know exactly the type of girl you are.” He started pushing her toward the door, the throng of other dancers just letting them through. Jessica was about to scream. To hell with what it would look like. She was in trouble.

Just as she craned her neck to try to find Ben or Hal in the crowd, she heard a loud crack. The hold on her went slack, and Jim fell to the floor.

Ben threw the broken bar stool on top of him then kicked him in the gut.

“Ben, hey, take it easy man.” A young bartender walked over, looking nervous.

“He started it,” Ben snarled then regained his composure for a moment. “Sorry, Wally, I needed to take this outside.”

The man wiped his brow. “It’s okay, bro. He’s had that coming since the old school days. But you’d better leave now, or I’ll have to fill out a report. You’re lucky the owner isn’t here. I’ll patch this up best I can.”

Ben nodded. “I got you. Thanks, man.” He turned to the bully again. “What the hell is wrong with you, Butch?” he asked, but the man made no sound other than a quiet groan as he clutched his head. “Don’t you
ever
touch her again, you hear me?” Ben shouted. “In fact, don’t ever look at her again. This is your only warning.” He looked at Jessica. “Jesus,” he breathed. His eyes were full of apology. “Are you okay?”

Jessica nodded, numbed to what was going on around her. The scene faded, and though the bar’s bouncer was ushering Butch out and waitresses were scrambling around the broken chair, she saw everything through a fog.

“Where were you?” she asked, hating the sound of her voice, shaking with fear.

“I just went to the restroom for a second. Hal ran to get me as soon as Butch made a move.”

“It looked as if you two had just disappeared.” Her shoulders heaved with emotion.

Keep it together, Jessica,
she chided herself, but she couldn’t stop the trembling.

“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” Ben murmured, pulling her close, kissing her hair. “I’m so sorry. He must have waited until he saw me leave. He timed it perfectly.”

“What a jerk,” she said, nearly sobbing in Ben’s arms.

“Let’s get out of here,” he replied.

She nodded again and let Ben lead her to the exit. They spoke to no one, not even saying goodbye to Hal.

* * * *

The weight of the evening held Ben’s mind captive as they drove the few miles back to the farm. He looked over at the girl, hunched over and turned to the window, so forlorn that he ached to put his arm around her, to whisper to her that it would be okay.

But he didn’t have that right. He’d disappeared when she’d needed him most. He’d known Butch was trouble. He should have been there.

Idling at a red light, he hazarded a touch to her shoulder. None of the consoling words he’d gone over in his head sounded right. Now was the time to be the hero, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, ashamed and saddened.

To his surprise, Jessica turned and offered him a small smile.

“Don’t be,” she said. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I know Butch. We should have left immediately.”

“Did you know he’d accost me in front of all those people?”

Ben thought about it. He’d never dreamed even Butch would be so bold. Their feud went way back, but he’d never known the man to be cruel to women.

“No,” he said, finally. “But he was drunk. It wasn’t worth the chance. I shouldn’t have put you in a position to be humiliated.”

Jessica shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “I’d say, of the two of us, he’s the one humiliated.” She paused, and he felt a tentative hand on his knee which sparked a reaction through his thigh. “Thank you for rescuing me,” she murmured.

Ben smirked at his faulty attempt at a rescue, but even as he berated himself, he felt a wave of strong emotion wash over him. He wanted to protect her, and not just from his old, town foes but from everyone. Forever. He straightened his posture as the light changed, and they started down the road again.

“The next time I rescue you,” he said, “I promise it will be much more heroic than that.”

Her fingers strayed gently up his leg. “I don’t need a hero, Ben,” she said softly. “I need a man. Perhaps a man like you.”

They finished the drive in comfortable silence, Ben’s thoughts swirling in his head. He’d failed her, as he felt he failed everyone, and yet she still sat by his side. She offered him not scorn or ridicule, but acceptance and, dare he wonder, love?

It was too soon to define what was happening between them, but Ben knew in his heart that a woman who took him for who he was, who didn’t fall for his bluster and consequently become disillusioned with him when he couldn’t hold up the charade, was someone he could contemplate a future with.

As he looked at the beautiful curls facing him when Jessica jiggled the old handle of his SUV to get out, he wondered if he’d ever find another woman like her.

He decided he didn’t want to find out.

* * * *

Jessica stood in the kitchen, making tea for the two of them. The incident with Butch had shaken her deeply, but what affected her even more and what surprised her was the sense of calm that had taken hold of her heart. Ben might not have been there when the ruckus had started, but that had made his rescue no less potent. Butch was easily three times Ben’s size, but without hesitation, Ben had smashed a chair over the brute’s face. She smiled at the memory. Knights didn’t always come in shining armor.

She wished he could see in himself what she saw in him, what his parents saw in him. She sensed that a firm grip of self-hatred dictated his actions. She resolved to prove to him that at least one person not related to him saw something else within him. Something strong, brave and loving.

He’d stood up for her against the town bully. She would stand up for him against himself.

Her tenderness toward him burst into lust when she looked over to find him leaning against the kitchen doorframe. His dark hair fell over his forehead, casting his usually luminous eyes in shadow. The hard planes of his jaw softened into a contented, if small smile, the bow-shaped lips just barely tilting up at the edges. He looked every bit the stoic hero in the kitchen’s dim lighting. His broad shoulders made a strong line perpendicular to the archway. His button-down was opened, revealing a sculpted chest and flat abdomen with a flash of dark hair leading a trail to the center of his chiseled frame.

Jessica felt an urgent pulse, starting in her belly and making its way up to her heart, but before she could analyze the sensations, the shrill whistle of the kettle drew her mind back to what she’d been doing.

She said nothing as she poured the steaming water into two porcelain mugs. She turned as the bags were steeping.

“I thought you might like some tea,” she stated, her voice unnaturally soft to her ears.

“Very much, thank you,” he replied and started to walk toward her.

“No,” she said. “Stay there. How do you like it?”

“Honey and milk?” he requested, settling back against the doorframe. “But I can help.”

“I want you right there,” she said, squeezing the teabags so that last of the amber liquid dripped into the cups. As she fixed the drinks and brought them over to the table, she couldn’t help the mischievous smile from creeping over her features.

“Uh oh,” said Ben. “What’s that look for?”

“What look?” she asked as innocently as she could, setting the teas down on the table. She walked toward him with small steps, wondering with sudden worry if her advances would be welcomed.

Her fears were laid to rest as he opened his arms to her and invited her into his warmth. The heat radiating from his bare chest, the pine scent of him, and the feeling of his skin beneath her fingertips swamped Jessica with a need she’d never known.

“Do you know where you are?” she asked, leaning back her head to see his face.

Ben shook his head slightly, not breaking eye contact with her. His look held her captivated, and it took her a moment to formulate the words she’d been planning to say since seeing him in the doorway. He’d taken her breath away.

She reached up, placing gentle fingers on the slight crevice where his heart beat. “You’re under the mistletoe again.”

He didn’t answer but dipped his head to brush his lips against her, the kiss a question, hesitant and pure.

Unable to hold back, she pressed her mouth urgently to his, seeking firmer contact, leaving no doubt as to her intentions.

He responded with fire, tangling a large hand in her curls, while circling her slim waist with his other arm, drawing her closer to him. She felt his need push up against her torso, and a shudder racked her frame.

He crushed her against him, breaking their kiss, his hands roaming over her back in increasingly quick motions. She moaned as he positioned her hips against his, his sex jutting up against the apex of her thighs.
Too much clothing,
she thought. Her body burned for him, desire arrowing up her spine, and she splayed frantic kisses along his neck and jawline. She flicked his earlobe with her tongue, and he groaned into her hair, pushing himself against her.
Too much clothing.

As if he’d read her mind, he nuzzled into her shoulder, his hands unclasping the belt around her waist. It hit the floor with a satisfying clunk, and Jessica released Ben for just a moment, to pull the dress over her head, leaving her in just her silken bra and panties.

Ben held her at arm’s length and raked his gaze over her, inhaling a sharp breath.

“God, you’re perfect,” he murmured.

She grabbed his hand, taking it from her waist, and moved it to her lips. She placed tender kisses on the inside of his palm before moving up toward the fingertips until she felt him shaking under her mouth. She nipped the tip of his thumb then flicked her tongue over it, and he shivered as he pulled her back into him, the heat of his groin searing her bare leg.

He circled her with his arms, unclasping her bra and sliding it slowly down before tossing it to the side. Her breasts exposed, he bent forward, taking a taut nipple into his mouth. His teeth scraped over the peak, causing her to buck her hips into him, and grip his shoulders so as to not lose her balance. The sensations his tongue elicited made her weak at the knees, the only thought making it through the din of emotion in her brain being, “More, God, please, more.”

She pushed her body toward him, and he cupped her breast in his hand, the teasing touches turning into molten possession. With his free hand, he unbuttoned his slacks, and the pants fell around his ankles. Without waiting to be invited, Jessica tugged the plaid boxer shorts away and gasped when his erection burst forth, firm and thick, glistening at its tip. Her hands moved to feel the heavy need of his balls, and Ben groaned at her touch. The velvety sac pulsated in her palm, and the sensation flooded her own sex with liquid fire.

Sliding her other hand down his tight torso, she circled her fingers around his shaft, and pumped him gently, marveling at the feel of him, so hard, so smooth. She dragged her fingertips up the sensitive underside and felt his body quiver when she flicked her thumb over the needy head. Feeling the moisture there, she brought her hand to her mouth. Drowning in his pale eyes, she didn’t look away as she tasted him, salty and sweet on her tongue.

Ben sank to his knees and brought Jessica down with him, placing her legs around his hips. He rubbed against her, the only barrier between them her underwear. It was more distance than she could bear. She lifted herself up just mere inches, and he dragged the scrap of silk down her legs. As she stepped up for a moment to discard the offending material, Ben slipped his pants fully off and rustled in the pockets.

By the time she sank back down, he held a small foil package in his hands. She clasped his wrist with one hand, taking the condom from him with the other. After opening the package, she slipped the thin latex over his pulsating cock, the muscles in her abdomen tightening as she felt his hard length beneath her fingers.

Ben eased her down onto her back, right there in the doorway. The cool floor under her back provided no discomfort, the difference in temperature only heightening the sensations washing over her. He looked deep into her eyes, the dark pools of his seeming to see right into her soul, right to the scared girl running from all she knew. But she saw no judgment there. No mockery. Just a deep and resounding understanding. He broke the gaze to kiss her cheekbones, her temples as he slowly lowered his body to cover hers.